Chapter Thirty-One
Rory
We’re outside The Dove. Axel, apparently, has found himself an extra side-gig—running guns through the hotel, which we never agreed to let him do.
Everything he does needs to go through us, and he owes us a percentage of his profit, so this new venture means he’s stealing money from us.
That shit doesn’t fly. He should know better by now.
“I can’t believe this motherfucker thinks he can pull one over on us.” Cillian releases the magazine from his gun, studies it, then slides it back into place.
“Do we get to kill him?” I ask, leg bouncing. Cillian reaches over and puts his hand on my thigh, the two of us in the back seat, Tiernan and Dean in the front.
“You can have him,” Tiernan tells me—a concession because of our conversation earlier.
I fucking hate what he told me, but I get it.
If there’s one thing I’m not delusional about, it’s my lack of control, or the fact that if anyone even looks at Shai wrong, I’m killing them. Slowly. Huh. I guess that’s two things.
“Thank fuck,” I say, checking my gun.
We went to Boston earlier today, dealt with some shit there and had a meeting with Conan and Rian.
Conan isn’t a social person, yet somehow he knows everyone and has eyes and ears everywhere.
He’s the one who heard about the shit Axel has going on, and after a lecture from Daddy Rian about us getting our shit together and watching Axel better, he let us go back to Ashford.
It’s evening now, and while in any other situation we’d wait until later for something like this, it’s The Dove, so we don’t have the same concerns here we might have somewhere else.
“Just don’t kill him right away. I need to fucking talk to him first,” Tiernan orders.
“Ugh. I hate it when we have to talk to them first. It’s so boring.”
Dean laughs, Tiernan cocking a brow at him like, Jesus, not you too.
“I just want to fuck shit up and go home,” Dean says.
“Of course you do.” Cillian laughs.
“Kill the fucking cameras,” Tiernan orders, and Dean pulls out his laptop and gets to work. It’s wild the shit he knows how to do. He doesn’t seem the type who’d know computers as well as he does, but his skill has definitely come in handy.
Dean does whatever the fuck he needs to do, hacking into their system, and then slams the laptop closed. “Fucking amateurs.”
Tiernan pulls out from where he parked, having kept his car hidden. It makes me wonder if this is where Shai parked the night he held his gun in my face and threatened me. Hell, that’s probably the night I fucking fell for him. My dick stirs just thinking about it.
I adjust myself, and then I’m the first one out of the car. I’ve been on edge all day, longer than that, really, and I need this. They all slide out of the car behind me, my pulse running a damn marathon as I literally fight myself not to bounce on my feet.
Dean pulls the door open. It’s Chandler behind the counter this time—Axel’s cousin. The second he sees us, he pales, and he reaches for something, but Cillian’s gun is already pointed at him. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
Chandler curses, then holds his hands up. “It wasn’t me. I told Axel not to fuck with you guys!”
“Did you tell us that he was, though?” Dean asks, Tiernan watching, analyzing.
“He’s my cousin,” Chandler defends.
“And we’re your gods,” Tiernan answers coldly. “Is he here?”
“In the back.”
“Anyone with him?” I ask. The more the better, if you ask me.
“No. He’s alone.” Chandler shifts on his feet. “Please, man. Don’t fucking hurt me. I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”
“We should kill you for that,” Cillian sneers. “You’re going to sell your guy out like that?”
“You just told me I should have come to you!”
“You should have, but that also makes you a sellout to your family. That’s what happens when you get involved with the wrong people. Who is he working with?” Tiernan walks closer. He doesn’t even have his gun out.
“Some guy named Jay. That’s all I know.” He shakes his head. “Please, Tiernan. I’ll fix it. We have money. I’ll make sure you get paid.”
T sighs. “We don’t need money. It’s the principle. You owe us, yes. It’s a matter of respect and honor. You should pay your debts because it’s the right thing to do, not because you don’t want to die. I already see you as a dishonorable man. Why would I want to do business with you?”
“It’s not…fuck.” He grabs his hair and pulls.
“Lock the door, Ror,” Tiernan orders.
I do as he says, then flip the sign to CLOSED and shut the blinds on the windows and the glass door.
Tiernan grabs Chandler by the back of the head, slamming it down, his face knocking against the counter. Blood spurts from his nose.
“Ouch! Holy shit!” Chandler screams, my body feeling more and more electrified by the second.
“What the fuck is going on out here?” Axel comes down the hallway, but the second he sees us, he turns and tries to run away. I take off after him, shoving him into the wall, pressing his face against it, gun to his back.
“Oh, hey. How are you?” I ask. “I feel like it’s a good day to die.”
He tries to shove away from me, to work himself free.
“You should be careful, Axel, or I might pull the trigger too soon…like…oops.” I shoot him in the leg, making him cry out.
“Jesus, Ror. Already?” Cillian asks.
“He was annoying me.” I grin at him.
“Let’s get them in the office.” Tiernan walks in ahead of us. I drag Axel behind him, while Dean gets Chandler. We shove them both onto the couch in the office, Axel crying and holding his leg. “Talk,” Tiernan orders.
“Fuck you!” Axel spits.
Tiernan looks at me and nods. I grin, taking three steps forward and punching him in the face. “Fuck who?” I ask. “Can I cut something off him?”
“What? Fuck that. You’re a crazy motherfucker!”
Ignoring Axel, I pull out a knife.
“I’ll talk…fuck, I’ll talk!”
He’s losing blood, he’s pale and weak, but he talks.
He’s working with a guy named Jay, who’s the middleman, but Axel doesn’t know who for—apparently, someone who thinks it’s a good idea to start making money in our town.
Every time he starts boring or annoying me, I hit him, kick him, stab him.
Chandler’s crying, huddled in a ball, asking us to let him go.
Eventually, Tiernan is over it and decides we’re not going to get anything else out of him. Once we get codes for the safes and get them open, he nods at me again. “Make it quick.”
I walk straight over to Axel, press my gun against his head, and pull the trigger, blood splashing the wall behind him.
“Sorry,” I tell Chandler, before doing the same to him.
I wait for the quiet to come, for me to step it down a notch, but that doesn’t happen. I’m still buzzing, nearly fucking twitching with energy.
“You good?” Cillian asks me.
“I’m good.”
“Conan is on his way,” T says. “He’s staying here tonight.
He’ll help deal with this, and then he’s meeting with his contact at Ashford PD.
If there’s a dirty cop with something to hide, Conan will sniff them out and use it for our benefit.
” Tiernan tosses Cillian his keys. “The two of you get out of here. We’ll wait for Conan. ”
I have no idea how they plan to deal with the shit that went down tonight, and honestly, I don’t care. I trust them to make sure it’s handled. I have no interest in being involved in that side of it.
“Let me know if you need anything,” Cil says.
“We will,” Dean replies. “I’ll follow you out and lock up behind you.”
We clean up real quick, Cillian and I making it out of there without seeing anyone. This isn’t the kind of place where they’ll call anyone because it’s closed. No one who comes to The Dove wants anything to do with the cops.
“You’re still buzzing,” Cil says when we’re in the car.
“Yeah, I don’t know why.”
“You probably just need your boy. I get like that after. Just want my kitten, ya know?”
I grin. “Yeah, I know.” I hesitate a moment. “Can I ask you something?”
“Has there ever been a time you couldn’t?”
Good point. “How do I learn to control myself better? I want to be good for Shai.”
“I think he would argue you’re good for him now. He gets you, and you get him. On the surface, would most people say I’m good for Ollie?”
“Fuck them.”
Cil laughs. “They wouldn’t, but I am. Shai doesn’t want you to change, but he does want you safe—we all do. I don’t have the answers, though. You know I’m always here to help any way I can.”
“But like…you let Ollie out of your sight without losing it. How do you do that? I would literally stalk Shai twenty-four seven if I could.”
“It’s not easy. I want to be with him all the time and protect him, but I have to…”
“Control that urge. How?” I need some fucking instructions.
“You just try…do it. I wish I had a better answer for you. Shai can ground you, Ror. I’ve seen it. When you’re in that space, getting lost in your head, in all that anger, focus on him. Find him or me. We’ll always bring you back.”
He’s right. They will. Maybe I should feel weird about that, about needing them that way, but I don’t.
“Do you think we’ll ever…the four of us…”
“You’re full of questions tonight,” is all he says at first, hedging. “Watching the two of you was hot, but it wasn’t…”
“Enough.”
Cil sighs. “No, it wasn’t.”
“You like Shai, though. I see it. I feel it.” It’s weird how I can, like sometimes Cillian’s feelings are mine and mine are his.
“Fucking hated him at first.” Cillian pays attention to the road, only tossing me a glance from time to time.
“Which you know, but…I guess it’s the same as it was with you and Ollie.
I feel a connection to him, like my bond to you makes me feel him in a way I didn’t expect.
He feels right for you, which makes him feel right to me.
Ollie thinks so too, and while I thought I would be jealous about that, somehow I’m not.
I don’t think I could stop myself from killing anyone but you for touching Ollie, though. ”
I turn in the seat, the hairs on my nape standing on end, a strange jealousy filling me up. A growl slips out. “Who the fuck said anything about Shai and Ollie touching?”
“Isn’t that what we’re talking about?”
“They don’t have to touch each other. Me and you don’t touch each other.” Not really, not other than fingers brushing and shit like that.
“You think he would agree to that? He won’t care if you and Ollie touch?”
I think for a moment about Shai, our talks, how he understands me and Cillian, how he’s asked questions about how it works when Cillian, Ollie, and I are together.
“It would mean as much to him as it does to us. He loves us all. He seeks a connection to us because he’s never had anything like us before.
I didn’t know friendship until you, and Shai didn’t until us—all of us. ”
“Christ. He’s special, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know,” Cillian finally answers. “If it was with anyone, it would be with him. I want to feel what you have with him. You get that with me and Ollie, right? You feel it?”
“I do,” I answer honestly.
“Then…maybe,” he says, and right now, maybe is enough.
“One more question.”
He glances my way and smiles. “Third time’s the charm.”
“Can you take me somewhere? I want to do something before we go home. Something for Shai. I’m fucking consumed by him.”
“No shit. Where to?”
I love that he doesn’t question me as I tell him, that he sits and waits for me while it’s done.
A few hours later we get back to the house and find Ollie and Shai sitting on the floor at the coffee table, Ollie painting Shai’s nails, books spread out—they must’ve been studying earlier.
“You’re home!” Ollie shoves to his feet and launches himself into Cillian’s arms. He worries a lot, and I think he always will. I can’t imagine this is easy on him.
“Hey,” I say to Shai.
He grins, stands and walks over. “Feel better?” he asks.
“I do.”
He hooks his finger beneath my chin and presses his lips to mine. “I missed you.”
“I thought about you all day. Wanna see?”
He frowns, clearly confused, but nods. I take off my jacket, then my shirt. On my chest over my left pec is a bandage. I pull it off, and…
“Holy fucking shit,” Shai says breathlessly, looking at the bold SHAI in my skin.
“You tattooed his name on your chest?” Ollie asks.
“I’m obsessed with him, Bunny,” I say, but don’t turn my attention away from Shai.
He reaches out, doesn’t touch the ink, but lets his black-painted nails dance around the red, puffy skin. “Now I’ll always be with you…even when I’m not,” he says.
“I knew you’d get it.”
“I want your name too.”
I grin, a calmness coming over me I haven’t felt all night. “I expect nothing less.”