14. Chapter 14
Tarymn
“ A bout what?” Luci asked.
There was a pause.
“About everything between us not being real,” Ludiin murmured, his voice sounding so fragile.
“I think I was half in love with him before I even met him. Dad talked about him constantly, and I… I lived for those stories. Tarymn was the only alpha I ever wanted to meet, and when I finally did, he was everything I imagined. And Dad had just died… I think I needed something to hold on to, so I latched onto him instead.”
“Do you think that’s what happened?”
Silence, then… “Yes.”
“Okay,” Luci said softly, letting out a long sigh. “At least now you can deal with your feelings without your heat clouding everything.”
“Yes,” Ludiin whispered. “I just… I hope they fade soon. I don’t want to feel this way about him. It’s too hard.”
“It will get better, Ludiin.”
“I hope so.”
The quiet sadness lacing Ludiin’s voice sank into Tarymn’s chest, twisting into guilt he couldn’t shake.
Still, he had to tell them what was coming. Maybe, after hearing it, Ludiin would choose to stay somewhere else, far from him and everything that happened between them.
Tarymn dragged himself up the stairs, making sure every footfall was heavy so they’d know he was coming.
“Tarymn,” Ludiin said when he appeared, his voice catching ever so slightly.
“Hey,” Tarymn murmured, careful not to stare at the omega for too long, though it was impossible not to notice how striking he looked with his hair tumbling messily around his face even though his hands and cheeks were stained black with Lumina.
For a moment, Tarymn’s chest tightened at the sight. “I need to talk to you two.”
“What is this about?” Luci asked, rising from the couch to stand protectively at Ludiin’s side. Tarymn noticed but decided not to take offence. After all, he’d managed to hurt Ludiin, whether he meant to or not.
“The council of alphas is going to pass a new law,” Tarymn said, his throat dry. “And it’s going to affect you.”
“What is it?” Ludiin asked, his wide eyes filling with worry.
Tarymn’s chest ached with the urge to go to him, to hold him and take away the fear he saw building there.
But he stayed rooted where he was. “All omegas of age will be forced to move into commune houses.” His words fell heavy into the room.
He could practically feel Ludiin’s anxiety spike, his body going rigid, his breath hitching.
"I don't when Maxus will announce it, but just know its coming. I’ve made arrangements for you to stay here… if you want,” he added quickly, desperate to ease the look in Ludiin’s eyes.
“If Ludiin is okay with it…” Luci said carefully. The weight in his tone told Tarymn exactly what he meant, that Ludiin might not stay, not with everything the way it was between them.
Ludiin was silent for a while.
“Yes. I want to stay,” Ludiin said in a way that made Tarymn’s heart stutter.
“Okay,” Tarymn breathed, only then realizing he’d been holding his breath the whole time. Relief rushed through him, laced with sadness.
“I’ll leave you to your work.” Tarymn said smoothly, but as he turned away the ache in his chest followed him down the hall. He pulled out his connector, the need to get away clawing at his chest until it felt hard to breathe. His thumb hovered only a second before he pressed Pitra’s code.
“Yes, master,” came the quick reply.
“I want to leave early for my heat. Did you secure me a room?” Tarymn asked. “I’d like to go there tonight.”
“Yes. I’ll send the details right away.” There was a brief pause, then Pitra spoke again. “Should I send for the service omega?”
“No. That can wait until my heat starts,” Tarymn said, shoving the connector back into his pocket. He strode into his room, grabbed a change of clothes, and was stepping out of the house just as his connector buzzed with Pitra’s message. The lodging name glowed faintly on the screen.
A few nights. That was all he needed to drown out the noise in his head, to dull the ache deep in his chest. Once his heat hit, everything would be fine.
At least, that’s what he told himself.
But on the day of his heat, things didn’t go as planned.
Femi looked as stunning as ever. But… he couldn’t bring himself to touch the omega. His mind kept drifting back to Ludiin. To the image of him curled up in bed, wearing one of his oversized shirts, his pale thighs spread wide for him, skin flushed with need.
He ached to go home. To see him. To touch him.
To fuck him.
A violent shiver rolled down his spine at the thought, his body definitely on board with the idea.
“Is something wrong?” Femi asked softly, sprawled across the bed like temptation personified. “Come here and relax.”
Go to him. Now.
But Tarymn didn’t move. This was a fucking weird time to be thinking about Ludiin. The point he went away was because he wanted to stop thinking about him. To fucking forget, but it seemed he fucking couldn’t.
Unless…
His chest rose and fell in shallow, stuttering movements as everything clicked into place.
His throat closed.
He shook his head slowly, dread coiling tight in his gut.
No. It couldn’t be. He couldn’t be.
But the signs were there. Clear as day. Maybe he hadn’t noticed, or maybe he had and just wasn’t ready to face it. But now, it was impossible to ignore. Tarymn drew in a shaky breath, his chest tightening as a faint tremor ran through him
Ludiin was his mate. Tarymn’s body turned before his mind did, legs moving fast as he stormed toward the door.
“Where are you going?” Femi called softly from behind him, the concern in his voice hard to ignore.
Fuck.
He stopped, forcing his lungs to work. “You can stay,” he said, voice tight. “The room’s paid for.”
“You’re leaving?”
“Yes,” he ground out. “I’m sorry for wasting your time. You’ll still get paid for your service. Enjoy your stay,” he mumbled before stepping out into the corridor, the cool air hitting him like a slap.
He didn’t remember crossing the lobby or reaching the parking dome. Somehow, he was in his pod, navigating through traffic with white-knuckled hands.
The next thing he knew, he was stepping into his house.
Pitra’s voice echoed somewhere behind him, startled and confused.
“Master? I wasn’t expecting you here so soon.”
Tarymn didn’t answer. Couldn’t. His mind was a furnace of spiraling thoughts.
He stormed up the stairs, his boots pounding against the wooden floor with each furious step.
As he passed Ludiin’s door, it was slightly open, light spilling softly into the hallway.
His jaw clenched, and he forced his gaze away.
He reached his own door, and slammed it shut behind him with enough force to rattle the frame.
Pitra knocked once, then let himself in. He lingered by the door, watching him with wide eyes.
“Did something happen?” he asked cautiously. “Is it like last time. I can send for Sila.”
“No.” The word broke from his throat, his fists clenched at his sides.
Last time, he’d gone through two omegas, restless and unsatisfied no matter how hard he tried.
He’d blamed it on the Deltta's case. But now…now he knew better. It had been Ludiin all along. He should have trusted his instincts, should have followed through with what he’d started in the den instead of holding back.
But he’d been so scared of losing control that he ran.
Now it was too late. He’d fucked it all up. He’d fucking told Ludiin that it wasn’t real.
Fuck! Tarymn silently screamed.
“Why not? You’ve never spent your heat alone.”
“I know, Pitra,” Tarymn snapped as he stalked across the room. He was barely keeping himself together. Every breath felt like a battle. Every second that passed knowing that Ludiin was just a door away, right outside, was torture.
So close. Too fucking close.
If he closed his eyes and concentrated really hard, he could catch Ludiin’s scent, clinging to the air. It curled through his nose and slipped down his throat, igniting every nerve ending. His spine tingled with heat, his skin felt tight, feverish. His cock stiffened, ached.
Coming back here had been a terrible idea.
“Then why are you doing this?” Pitra asked, worry and confusion tangled in his voice.
Tarymn didn’t answer. The truth sat like a jagged stone in his chest.
A violent wave of need surged through him, curling his spine and wrenching a hiss from between his clenched teeth. He dropped onto the bed, hunched over, fingers digging into the sheets as he gasped.
He was losing it.
What the hell am I going to do?
“This is stupid,” Pitra muttered. “I’m finding you another omega.” He pulled out his connector, already scrolling through options.
“It’s no use,” Tarymn breathed, his voice ragged.
“What do you mean?”
“I found my fucking mate,” he bit out, like the words burned his tongue.
There was a beat of silence.
“Who?”
Tarymn looked up, eyes wild. “Ludiin.”
Pitra froze. “What ? ”
“Yeah.”
Tarymn shoved to his feet, every inch of him burning up. He staggered into the washroom and slammed the door shut behind him.
He needed to cool off. Now!
He activated the bathing bot and set it to freezing. Clothes hit the floor in a heap. Without hesitation, he lowered himself into the ice-cold water, his breath punching out of his lungs as his body screamed in protest.
The freezing water dulled the fire raging beneath his skin, but it was only a temporary fix. He had four fucking days to get through, and every cell in his body knew he wouldn’t survive them alone.
Aggressive alphas weren’t built to endure their heats alone. Some managed, sure. But… Tarymn had never done it. Never had to. And now…
Now his mate was just outside his room.
Close enough to scent.
Close enough to touch.
It was a disaster waiting to happen.
He needed help.
Tarymn squeezed his eyes shut, willing the ache in his body to ease. When he opened them, one name surfaced.
Sirhe.
Sirhe helped Ludiin. Maybe he could help him too.
He hauled himself out of the bathing bot, shivering as the icy water raced down his overheated skin.
The drying bot turned on, a gust of warm air hitting his skin as he stumbled toward his pants, hastily digging out his connector.
His fingers trembled as he searched for Sirhe’s code and hit the connect button with a shaky breath.
The line clicked.
“Tarymn?” Sirhe sounded distracted. “You caught me at a bad time. I’ve got surgery in a few minutes.”
Shit.
“How long is it going to take?”
“Two hours.”
Tarymn bit down a curse. “The sedative you gave Ludiin, does it work on alphas? I need something that’ll knock me out.”
Sirhe fell silent for a moment, then launched into scientific talk that flew right over Tarymn’s head.
“Sirhe. Yes or no,” he ground out.
“I’ll let you know after surgery,” Sirhe replied, and the connection died.
Tarymn exhaled harshly.
I can wait. I can wait. He repeated as he trudged into his room, heading for the clothing cubicle. He grabbed the first pair of sleeping pants his hand touched and yanked them on just as the door hissed open.
Pitra stepped inside, holding something red in his hands.
“Here,” he said, walking over and offering the shirt. Tarymn took one whiff of the soft fabric and froze.
Ludiin.
His scent hit him like the sweetest madness. Every nerve in his body tingled, and a gasp slipped from his lips before he could stop it.
“What the hell, Pitra?” he rasped, backing away even as every instinct screamed to lunge forward and bury himself in that scent.
“You can’t be alone, Master,” Pitra said gently. “This will help. He won’t be here, but… his scent will be.”
Tarymn stared at the shirt like it might bite him. He wasn’t sure who was more depraved. Pitra, for bringing it in here like it was a gift, or himself, for even thinking about taking it. Ludiin’s scent clung to the fabric, soft and intoxicating.
It would help. Just enough to keep him sane. At least until Sirhe showed up and knocked him out cold.
“This is messed up,” he muttered, even as his hand reached forward, trembling with restraint. “Sirhe will be here in a few hours. Let him in.”
“Yes, Master,” Pitra replied, then turned and quietly slipped out of the room.
Tarymn stood still for a breath, then crushed the shirt to his face. The scent hit him like a punch to the chest. It smelled like home. Like everything beautiful, sweet and soft.
He stumbled to the bed, his hands already pushing his pants down. He grasped his cock, moaning in bliss as pleasure flooded his veins. He wanted the scent everywhere on his body.
A thought slithered into his mind. Wicked.
Forbidden. And so wrong it made his stomach twist. He shook his head, trying to banish it, but it clung to him.
Logic didn’t matter anymore. Not when he was drowning.
His hand moved all on its own, horror, disgust and fucking mind-numbing pleasure mingling inside him as he wrapped the shirt around his cock.
“Fuck…damn,” he groaned, fucking into his fist. The soft material of the shirt felt so good against his heated skin, and he knew he wouldn’t last for long. And he didn’t fight it. He rocked his hips faster and harder, and then…
His entire world shattered into a million pieces. A tortured gasp tore from his throat as a pleasure unlike anything he’d ever known slammed into him, raw and all-consuming. A roar ripped out of mouth as cum gushed from his cock, soaking into the soft cloth, his body trembling.
And he kept coming… his pleasure twisting into pain as his knot swelled with a desperate ache, only to find nothing there. Just the echoing absence of his mate. The longing clawed so deeply through him, as the darkness rushed in like a wave, swallowing him whole.
When he came to, everything was hazy. Sirhe’s face hovered above him. “Pitra told me everything,” he said. “I gave you the sedative. It should start working soon.”
“Thank you.”
“Can’t you talk to him? I mean he’s your mate.”
Tarymn shook his head. “And I broke his heart. He stopped his heat because of me. He felt it and I told him it wasn’t real. How do I come back and tell him it’s real? Convince him that he’s mine when I told him that he can’t want me.”
“Damn.”
“Exactly.”
“But you’re going to have to fix it. You can’t sedate yourself forever.”
“I know. I just don’t know how yet,” Tarymn said. “And this doesn’t leave this room.” He said staring at Pitra.
“Of course, Master.”
Tarymn nodded, his eyes heavy. He clutched the blanket Pitra must’ve thrown over him as he slowly drifted away to Sirhe and Pitra’s retreating footsteps. He must be the worst alpha on the planet to not recognize his mate.
Tarymn wondered how he was going to fix this.
How do you mend a broken heart?