15. Chapter 15
Ludiin
Five years later.
Present day.
“ W hatever it is, the answer is no,” Ludiin muttered, not even bothering to look up. His fingers hovered over the scattered mess of parts on the workbench.
He’d spent hours just staring at the damn thing, hoping sheer willpower would make it work. When that failed, he’d taken it apart, reassembled it, and taken it apart again.
Now it lay there, lifeless. Dead.
He should’ve thrown it away days ago. Admitted defeat, but…
“You don’t even know what I was going to ask,” Luci said behind him.
Was he still here? Ludiin scowled. The sound of his brother’s voice was like a knife in his brain, twisting and digging.
He didn’t have the energy for distractions. Time was running out. No, time had already run out.
For years, he had convinced himself that Luci would forget the promise he’d dragged from him, the one he’d wrung out of Ludiin in exchange for helping him stop his heat.
But Luci hadn’t forgotten. Now, his brother was calling in that promise.
Not with words, but with quiet defiance, refusing to brew him another cup of tea.
Two weeks.
That’s how long it had been since he last touched the tea. And Ludiin could already feel the changes in his body. He was starting to feel again.
Ludiin had thought his ultimate pleasuring bot would be working by now. He’d believed, after all the hours, all the sleepless nights, all the energy he had poured into it, that it would be enough. But it wasn’t. The damn thing still malfunctioned, still refused to give him what he needed most.
An alpha.
He sat there, staring blankly at the parts of the pleasuring bot —a perfect reflection of what he felt inside.
Hopeless. Utterly lost.
“You should eat something,” Luci said gently, stepping beside him. “You’ve been locked in here for almost two days. Maybe take a break, huh?”
Two days? Ludiin blinked, frowning. Had it really been that long?
He pushed back his chair and stood, a low groan escaping his mouth as he stretched his arms over his head. His joints popped in protest, the sound filling the heavy silence. Overhead, light filtered dimly through the grimy skylight, casting hazy shadows across the wooden floor.
The scent of rubber, metal, Lumina and silicone clung to the air, acrid. To Ludiin, it smelled like home. He breathed it in, letting the familiar scent steady him, dulling the sting of failure that gnawed at his chest.
But of course, Luci had to open his mouth and ruin it.
“We could get some fresh air, meet up with Baron and his friends,” Luci chirped. “He’s been asking about you.”
At the mention of that name, Ludiin’s stomach twisted. A sharp spike of shame rose so fast it made his eyes sting even after all these years.
“No, thanks,” he muttered, voice flat. He’d rather pull his own hair out than endure another round of embarrassment.
“Ludiin,” Luci whined, exasperated. “He forgave you for that time. The least you could do is meet him halfway. He really likes you, hasn’t stopped talking about you.
He said you’re a challenge. Not like other omegas who throw themselves at alphas.
That’s a good thing. It means you’ve got his attention. ”
Luci offered a bright smile, as if that could magically erase the memory burning through Ludiin like acid.
No, fucking way was he going through that again. Ludiin still wanted to cry every time he thought of that alpha. Crawl under his workbench and never come out again. Maybe launch himself off a cliff while he was at it.
His cheeks burned hot with humiliation at the memory Luci so casually dubbed ‘ That time’. He wished he could delete it, wipe it from his mind.
And now he wanted to see him again? Why?
Hadn’t he already been humiliated enough for one lifetime? Ludiin stomach twisted at the memory, his cheeks growing warm.
The alpha was crazy , he thought as his eyes dropped to the dismantled prototype on the workbench.
If only it had worked.
Then maybe he wouldn’t need an alpha. Wouldn’t need to face another round of embarrassment.
He would’ve had something of his own. Someone of his own, even if it wasn’t real.
His own alpha.
It was ridiculous, unthinkable, but Ludiin believed he could do it.
When he’d made that promise to Luci years ago, he’d had no intention of keeping it because he was on a mission to make his own alpha.
He’d sold so many pleasuring bots in his effort to buy the most expensive materials and advanced tech, so he could make it.
People called him the youngest inventor of the century, but if they knew the truth, they’d laugh.
His title, his fame, his accolades—none of it meant anything.
All he wanted was to craft an alpha of his own.
An alpha like…
His chest tightened. Ludiin closed his eyes as Tarymn’s face came unbidden.
It still hurt even after all this time. The wanting hadn’t gone away. The tea only dulled it, making the longing for the alpha more bearable.
But …. Ludiin still wanted him.
“Should I tell him we’ll meet at Veal?” Luci’s voice cut through the thick silence.
Ludiin blinked, confused.
“What?” he asked.
“We were just talking. Did you shut me out already?” Luci huffed. “We’re meeting Baron and his friends at Veal.”
“When did I say yes to that?” Ludiin asked, already turning back to his workbench.
“You didn’t.”
“Okay then.”
“But you’re going.”
“I’m not.”
“You promised.”
Ludiin clenched his jaw, his molars grinding as he forced out. “I need more time.”
“No.”
“Please.” His voice dipped, almost breaking
“It’s been five years.”
“I’m not ready.”
“Ludiin, fuck…” Luci’s voice sharpened. “You can’t do this. You’ve had enough time to deal with your feelings and fears. You’re an adult now. You need to get bonded, start building a real life.”
“I’m never getting bonded.”
There was a beat of stunned silence. “What?”
“I don’t want to. Ever.” Ludiin said plainly. “Give me the tea and forget about everything.”
“What the hell are you going to do then? You can’t live like this forever unless you want to end up in some commune house.”
“Why would I do that?” Ludiin shrugged. “Tarymn said we could stay here. With him. We’re safe from the council of alphas and their stupid laws.”
“Yeah, and when he gets bonded?” Luci shot back. “You think his omega’s gonna be thrilled about his quiet, brooding stepbrother lurking in his house?”
That stopped him cold.
Ludiin turned. “Is Tarymn getting bonded?”
“He might. Hym found his mate. Why wouldn’t Tarymn?” Luci studied Ludiin for a long moment, before stepping closer. “Whatever was between you two is gone now. Don’t you think it’s time you went out there and tried to live a little?”
Ludiin barely heard Luci. He was still stuck on the fact that Tarymn might get bonded soon.
A strange ache bloomed behind Ludiin’s ribs at the idea.
He wasn’t supposed to care. Wasn’t supposed to feel anything.
Whatever he and Tarymn had been… he couldn’t even name it.
A mistake. A fleeting dream. They were something that never should have happened but happened.
Something he should have forgotten but hadn’t.
Something he shouldn’t want, yet deep down… he wanted.
Ludiin rubbed his chest absently, trying to smother the achy tightness curling inside him. “I like Jamue,” he said softly. “Maybe I’ll like… whoever Tarymn brings home.”
“Ludiin!” Luci snapped. “I’m not going to let you do this. You promised me.” Ludiin opened his mouth to argue, but his connector chimed on the workbench.
Without thinking, he answered. Putting it on speaker like he always did while working.
A soft, eager voice filled the room. “Did you manage to fix our alpha? I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about it. I have some ideas I want to share with you!”
Ludiin froze.
Luci’s eyes widened.
Ludiin’s face flushed hot. “Nylune,” he choked, “my brother is here.”
“Oh!” The gasp on the other end was sharp and horrified.
“Our alpha?” Luci asked slowly, eyebrows climbing. “What is he talking about, Ludiin?”
“I…its… I… meant…” Nylune stammered, scrambling for something to say. Poor thing sounded like he wanted to melt into the floor.
When Ludiin first met the omega through the Omega Placement Agency, back when he was still testing out his pleasuring bots, the omega could barely string two words together without stammering.
But that was then. Now, with the Alpha King’s scandal finally behind them, Nylune sounded like he was slowly breaking out of his shell.
“The, um, pleasuring bot. The one he’s working on.
It’s called The Alpha Experience . That’s just the name, I didn’t mean, he’s our alpha. ”
Luci turned to Ludiin with a look that could peel paint. “It sounded like that’s exactly what he meant. Like you’re in here, making an alpha.” His eyes drifted to the workbench, really looking this time. “You’re not actually doing that… right?”
“What if I am?” Ludiin replied, chin tilting in defiance.
“Ludiin…” Luci’s voice faltered.
“What?” he said, arms crossed now. “There are omegas out there who ache for an alpha. Who craves that experience and can’t have it for a million reasons.
Trauma. Fear. Illness. Not being wanted.
And they still want to feel it. I want to feel it…
again.” He sighed. “I’m trying to build something that can give us that. Is that such a bad thing?”
Luci opened his mouth, then closed it again.
“It’s…” Luci started.
“It’s a good thing,” Nylune cut in gently, his voice steadier now through the speaker.
“I hope he succeeds. I need this too. Because of my condition, I can’t be with a real alpha.
I’m terrified of what I’d turn into. I’ve loved everything Ludiin’s ever made, but this pleasuring bot… this one could change my life.”
“Mine too,” Ludiin whispered.