18. Chapter 18
Tarymn
H e was going to apologize. Definitely. If he could face him. Which, right now, felt impossible.
Tarymn’s fingers clenched around the controllers, his knuckles white, a silent scream ripping through his mind as the pod hurtled down the airway at maximum speed.
The lights that blurred past the transparent tube usually mesmerized him, but tonight they barely held his attention.
He felt like shit. Because he’d done a shitty thing.
With a sharp growl, Tarymn slammed his fist against the console. The pod jerked violently, nearly clipping the pod in the next lane.
“Shit!” he hissed, righting the controls.
He had to get it together before he had an accident. He focused on the airway, forcing his thoughts into silence, not allowing himself to replay the image of Ludiin bent over the basin, moaning in pleasure.
By the time he pulled in front of the Alpha King's house, the night had thickened. It was late for a visit, far past protocol. But he wasn’t there for the Alpha King. He needed Deltta.
Because he had nowhere else to go. He couldn’t go home. Not after what he’d done.
Maybe not ever.
“Fuck, Ludiin,” he whispered. What the hell was wrong with him when it came to that omega?
Tarymn exhaled heavily as he stepped out of the pod, the door hissing closed behind him.
Deltta was already at the front door, barefoot and looking annoyed.
Loose sleep pants hung comfortably off his hips, and his fitted shirt clung to his broad chest, wrinkled from sleep.
He didn’t say a word, just gave Tarymn a look that said, ‘ Really? At this hour? ’
Shit. He hadn’t meant to disturb him. Not when Deltta was likely curled up with his bond mate.
“Your security team is efficient,” Tarymn said to break the silence.
Deltta arched a brow. “Are you complimenting yourself? You handpicked them, remember?”
Tarymn blew out a short breath, rubbing the back of his neck. “Right. I did.” The confidence that had carried him to the front door was quickly deserting him, leaving awkwardness in its place.
Deltta sighed, turning on his heel. “Well, come on in.”
Tarymn followed him into the house, his eyes sweeping over the high ceilings and polished floors.
The Alpha King’s house was a sight to behold, grand and timeless.
Every arch and polished stone whispered of legacy.
Tarymn always felt a quiet honor settle over him whenever he was within its hallowed walls.
He followed Deltta to his office just as Yarr, Deltta’s house manager, entered with a serving bot gliding at his side.
Tarymn winced. “You didn’t have to wake everyone. I’m fine.”
“You sure? You look like you could use a drink.” Deltta gave him an assessing look. “And probably a friend. Where is Micha?”
“Sirhe is probably busy.”
“Wulfric?”
“I don't know. Sleeping.”
“So you came crawling to your third-best friend"
“Third what?”
“Best friend,” Deltta clarified, smirking. “The one you abandoned when he needed you most.”
Tarymn blinked at him, incredulous. “You’re still mad about that?”
“A little,” Deltta admitted with a laugh. “It’s going to take me a while to get over everything, I guess.”
“Okay,” Tarymn said, shrugging with a sheepish tilt of his mouth. “Thanks for being my third-best friend tonight.”
“Give him this,” Deltta told Yarr, nodding toward a dusty amber bottle resting on the shelf. Yarr grabbed it without question, poured a generous amount into a glass, and handed it over.
Tarymn took a cautious sniff and immediately wrinkled his nose. “This smells like regret.”
Deltta chuckled, sprawling into the recliner in the corner like he owned the room, which, of course, he did. “Take a sip. It’ll burn the sadness right out of you.”
Tarymn gave him a skeptical look but obeyed. The liquid hit the back of his throat like fire, and he coughed. “Holy shit. That’s vile.”
Deltta laughed louder. “Told you. A couple more sips, and you’ll stop caring why you’re miserable.”
“Will you be needing anything else, Master?” Yarr asked drowsily.
“No, Yarr. You can head back to bed,” Deltta replied.
Yarr nodded with a grateful bow of his head, his soft slippers barely making a sound as he turned and exited the room. The door whispered shut behind him with a smooth whoosh .
“You actually drink this?” Tarymn asked, squinting at the glass.
“I used to,” Deltta said, taking a sip from his own glass. This one a clear, gold-tinged liquid. His eyes fluttered shut as he moaned. “Now Mac makes my drinks. This is just pure heaven.”
“I want that,” Tarymn muttered, nodding at Deltta’s glass as he dropped into the nearest chair with a heavy sigh. A slow warmth began to unfurl in his chest, melting the tension coiled around his ribs.
Damn, he thought, staring into the glass, the vile shit actually worked.
“Nope. This one’s mine,” Deltta said matter-of-factly.
“He should sell it. He’d make a killing. Especially now that everyone’s back to worshiping the ground you walk on.”
“This one’s just for me,” Deltta said, eyes sharp as they landed on Tarymn. “I’m allowed that, aren’t I?”
Tarymn met his gaze and nodded. “Yeah. You are.”
Deltta leaned back, his expression unreadable. “You too.”
Tarymn blinked. “Me?”
“Yes,” Deltta said, taking another slow sip of his drink.
“You’ve been alone too long, Tarymn. You need to stop living for other people, for the council, for me and start living for yourself.
Because at the end of the day, all this…
” he gestured around the room with his glass, the gold liquid catching the light, “can be stripped away in a heartbeat. And then what? If there’s no one in your corner.
.. you’ll be left with nothing. And it hurts like hell. ”
Tarymn nodded, his jaw tight.
“I nearly lost my damn mind before I met Mac. Now? I couldn’t care less if I’m the Alpha King or not.”
Tarymn lifted his glass again. The drink still burned, but it no longer clawed at his throat like it did before. “I never thought I’d hear you say that.”
“Me neither,” Deltta admitted. “But once you find someone who matters to you more than the very air you breathe, more than life itself, you’ll understand. You need that too. Or maybe...” he narrowed his eyes on him, “...maybe you already found it. Is that why you’re here?”
Tarymn shifted, trying not to fidget under the weight of Deltta’s gaze. It was like being peeled open. Deltta’s knowing chuckle filled the space between them.
“So, there is someone.”
Tarymn dragging a hand over his face. “Yes, and I did something so stupid. I think I made everything worse. That’s why I’m here. I needed to clear my head.”
“You couldn’t do that at home?” Deltta asked. “It’s someone from your house, isn’t it?” He leaned forward, all amusement gone now. “One of your brothers?”
“Stepbrother,” Tarymn said too quickly.
Deltta smirked. “You say that like you need to convince yourself.”
Tarymn glared at him. “Don’t start.”
“I’m not starting anything. I’m just sitting here, sipping my delicious drink, watching you squirm and run from your feelings.”
“I’m not running,” Tarymn mumbled. “I’m trying to think. I can’t think when I’m home. I just react. All I want to do is drag him into my arm and…”
“Fuck him,” Deltta said with a dry laugh.
“Fuck, Deltta,” Tarymn snapped.
Deltta lifted both brows, laughter rumbling in his chest. “What? Am I lying?”
“This isn’t funny,” Tarymn growled in frustration. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “I feel like shit. I shouldn’t have touched him.”
Deltta’s face softened, the teasing replaced by quiet concern. “What happened?”
Tarymn didn’t answer right away. He reached for the bottle Yarr had left behind, poured himself a full glass, and downed it in one go.
“That bad?” Deltta asked.
“I doubt he’ll ever want to talk to me ever again.”
“Did he say that?”
“He didn’t have to,” Tarymn murmured. “If I were him, I wouldn’t want to.
I managed to stay away from him for the past five years.
Kept everything bottled up, buried so deep it almost felt like it wasn’t there.
But tonight…” His words caught in his throat.
Tarymn exhaled sharply. “I don’t know what came over me tonight.
Seeing him with that other alpha… I lost control.
I followed him into the washroom and just attacked him.
He’s my mate. I shouldn’t have done that. ”
“You attacked him?”
Tarymn’s face flushed red. “No. I mean…” he hesitated. “Not like that. We didn’t even have sex. I mean we did. But I didn’t fuck him with my cock. I used my tongue. Roughly. Without thinking. I couldn’t stop myself.”
“So you tongue fucked your mate in a public washroom after spiraling from jealousy.”
“Thank you for putting it that way,” Tarymn said bitterly. “Really makes me feel better.”
Deltta grinned, but there was sympathy in his eyes.
“Look, you wouldn’t be sitting here if you didn’t already feel like shit.
And I’m not judging you. I just think… maybe it’s time for you to stop overthinking.
Don’t approach this like your job where you have to think over every move. This is your mate.”
“You think I’m overthinking?” Tarymn asked, jaw tight.
“Yes. Who waits five years to be with their mate?” Deltta said without hesitation. “And you’re doing it again. If it were me, I’d be in bed with my mate right now, not here sulking. You’re an aggressive alpha. Control isn’t in our nature, especially when it comes to our mate.”
“I don’t want that,” Tarymn said. “I’ve already hurt him. The last thing I want is to scare him off for good.”
Deltta tilted his head, studying him. “Did he look scared when you fucked him in public?”
Tarymn’s eyes snapped wide. “What?”
“Answer the question,” Deltta pressed. “Was he scared?”
Tarymn hesitated, the memory flooding back. He hadn’t been thinking clearly then, only drowning in need, but no, Ludiin hadn’t pushed him away. He hadn’t frozen in fear. If anything… he’d melted into him.
Tarymn shook his head.
“He wasn’t scared,” Deltta said. “Go home and finish what you started in that washroom.”
Tarymn stood immediately, then soon regretted it as the room started to spin. His hand shot out and gripped the armrest before he fell.
“Shit. I think I’m drunk.”
“You think?” Deltta barked out a laugh.
Tarymn sat back down with a heavy thud. “Can I crash here? I don’t think I can go home like this.”
“Of course,” Deltta said.
A comfortable silence settled between them. Tarymn let his eyes fall shut, muscles slowly uncoiling as sleep began to creep in at the edges.
Then Deltta spoke again, breaking the quiet. “Five long years.” He whistled in disbelief. “You must be crawling out of your skin. How did you survive your heats with your mate just down the hall? That couldn’t have been easy.”
“It wasn’t,” Tarymn bit out.
Deltta groaned, dragging a hand down his face as if he could feel Tarymn’s pain. “Fuck. I can imagine.”
“Sirhe helped.”
“Micha? What did he do?”
“He knocked me out.” A dry, humorless laugh slipped out. “You should thank me, actually. Sirhe tested the drug he gave you on me. I was the experiment.”
Deltta winced, his expression flickering with guilt. “Thanks…I guess.”
“So, am I forgiven?” Tarymn asked quietly, “for walking away when you needed me?”
Deltta studied him for a long beat before nodding. “Yeah, you’re forgiven. But don’t you ever do that again.”
“Never,” Tarymn promised, exhaling a long, tired sigh. “I fucking miss having sex,” he blurted.
Snickering, Deltta pushed himself up with a lazy stretch, shaking his head as though he couldn’t believe half the things Tarymn had just spilled. “Tomorrow, you’ll claim your mate, and you can have all the sex you want,” he said, brushing off his pants. “He’s probably waiting for you right now.”
“You think?”
“Yes,” Deltta said firmly.
“Fuck,” Tarymn muttered, raking a hand through his hair. “I hope so.”
“Quit overthinking and trust your instincts,” Deltta shot back, already turning toward the door. A wide yawn split his face as he added, “I’m going to bed. Mac’s waiting for me.”
“Good night,” Tarymn muttered as he trudged toward the recliner Deltta had just vacated. He collapsed into the seat with a weary sigh, sinking into the lingering warmth.
“Guest room’s upstairs,” Deltta called over his shoulder.
“I won’t make it up there. Your vile spirit just declared war on my nervous system.”
“I told you it would fix everything,” Deltta cackled, his voice full of smug satisfaction. His laughter trailed after him, bouncing off the walls like it had a life of its own. It echoed around Tarymn, mocking him without mercy.
“Fuck my life,” Tarymn mumbled, slurring slightly as he rolled onto his side to face the wall. The world spun gently, a lazy tilt that made him nauseous with regret. He hoped Ludiin had made it home safely. He had made sure Hym knew where he was. Hym would make sure he got home safely.
Tomorrow, I’ll fix everything.
Tarymn squeezed his eyes shut, then shivered.
Fuck. Even through the spirit induced fog his body still hummed with the memory of Ludiin. His scent. His mouth and his fucking body.
Soon, he’ll be mine , Tarymn growled as sleep finally dragged him under.