20. Chapter 20
Tarymn
“ W hat,” Tarymn snapped, tossing the e-reader onto the table with more force than he meant to. It hit the wood with a sharp, echoing thud that made the air vibrate just like the tension between them. Hym’s raised brow and unreadable stare said it all. “I’m trying to calm down.”
“You’re doing a piss-poor job of it.”
“Fuck, I’m losing my mind.”
“I told you this would happen,” Hym muttered, sighing as he shook his head. “You can’t keep shoving everything down and expect it not to blow up in your face one day. Last night shouldn’t have happened. Not like that. You need to get yourself under control so you can talk to him.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Tarymn growled, dragging a hand down his face so hard his skin stung.
His chest heaved, fury and something darker pressing at his ribs.
He’d barely held himself back in the den, barely kept from ripping Ford apart.
The smug bastard, lounging there half-naked, talking to Ludiin like he had a fucking claim over him.
The alpha’s sudden appearance ruined everything.
He’d had a plan. As soon as Ludiin woke up they were going to talk.
He was going tell him how he felt. But then…
the fucking alpha from last night showed up.
A growl tore from Tarymn’s throat as he stalked to the window, shoulders tight, trying and failing to shake it off. His reflection stared back at him in the glass. Wild-eyed, raw, feral.
Fuck.
He was on the edge, ready to snap and turn into the very thing he despised.
He forced a breath into his lungs, trying and failing to calm the storm clawing inside him.
Tarymn’s gaze drifted out the window, straight to the garden where two figures walked too closely.
His jaw clenched when Ford brushed his fingers along Ludiin’s cheek. His cheek!
“I thought he said he wanted to be his friend,” Tarymn growled, the heat in his chest threatening to boil over.
“What?” Hym asked, stepping beside him. His eyes followed Tarymn’s.
“That’s how it always starts,” Hym said simply.
“What does?”
“Love starts with friendship. If you’re not going to claim him, at least let him fall in love,” Hym said quietly. The words dug under Tarymn’s skin because he’d noticed it too. The way Ludiin had remained still while Ford got closer, flirting with him in the den, he hadn’t pulled away.
“You need to decide what you want,” Hym added in frustration. “Either let him go or fucking claim him. The tension in this house is unbearable.” With that, Hym left him alone with his churning thoughts. Tarymn closed his eyes, dragging in a ragged breath.
He was losing it.
The rage. The ache. The need to mark, to take , to hold—it was all spiraling inside him like wildfire.
He stormed out of the office to go find Ludiin.
The omega wasn’t in the garden where he’d last seen him.
He’d better not be upstairs with that damn alpha.
Tarymn took the stairs two at a time, his heart pounding. Anger and longing twisted together in his gut, until they were indistinguishable.
He found him in his den, standing at his workbench, staring down at his e-reader.
The one he’d used to draw earlier. Something inside Tarymn snapped. All reason vanished.
Fuck.
Tarymn dragged in a deep breath. He clenched his fists so tightly his knuckles ached, barely restraining the primal urge to reach out, drag Ludiin into his arms, and claim him right then and there.
He wasn't going to do that. He wasn't a fucking animal.
His voice came out rough, laced with frustration. “Is he really just your friend? I saw him touch you here.”
He reached out, his fingers brushing the curve of Ludiin’s cheek exactly where Ford’s hand had lingered. The contact was light, possessive, tinged with something darker. Then he leaned in and released his scent, flooding the space between them with it, blotting out any trace of the other alpha.
Ludiin’s breath hitched. His eyes fluttered shut for a second, lips parting as the scent settled into his senses.
Then, just as quickly, he snapped out of it. His gaze sharpened, slicing through the charged air between them. He stepped back, out of reach.
And still, he didn’t speak.
He just looked at Tarymn. A flicker of something unreadable passed through his eyes.
“Is he?” Tarymn pressed again.
But Ludiin only stared at him, letting the question hang between them.
Say something, Tarymn silently pleaded, his chest aching with want, need.
The silence pressed down on them, thick and suffocating.
“Yes,” Ludiin finally said, voice cool. “He’s my friend and a model for my future pleasuring bots.”
Tarymn stiffened, prowling closer before he could stop himself, yanked forward by something he couldn’t fight nor deny. He wanted his mate. Now. “You shouldn’t have other alphas near you. You’re going to be bonded soon. Your alpha’s not going to like that.”
Ludiin flinched, eyes wide. “What did you just say?”
Smooth, Tarymn, he chided himself, each step toward Ludiin more of a prowl than a walk, hunger leaking into his movements no matter how hard he tried to rein it in.
“I said you’re going to get bonded soon,” he said, his voice tight. “You don’t want to get bonded…to me.”
“I…” Ludiin’s eyes flicked up to him, confusion swimming in them.
Damn him. His sweet, gentle, frustrating, beautiful omega. The sight of that fragile hesitation snapped the last thread of Tarymn’s restraint. He closed the space between them and wrapped him into his arms.
Ludiin stiffened, tried to pull away, but Tarymn only tightened his hold, burying his face against his neck, inhaling him like a drowning man.
“I’ve longed to hold you like this for so fucking long,” he murmured, voice hoarse.
“Please…just let me have this. One second. That’s all.
” His eyes fluttered shut, his entire body aching.
Ludiin went still in his arms, but Tarymn felt the tremors rattle through him. Fragile shudders that made his chest ache.
“What are you doing?”
Tarymn loosened his grip, pulled back just enough to lace his fingers with Ludiin’s. The omega’s gaze dropped to their joined hands as if he couldn’t believe it, couldn’t reconcile that Tarymn’s touch was real.
“Come,” Tarymn said gently, leading him toward the couch. But as his eyes landed on it, revulsion curled his lips as he thought of Ford sprawled on it half-naked like it belonged to him. Like he belonged there.
Mine, Tarymn thought savagely as he sat down, dragging Ludiin into his lap.
Ludiin’s head ducked instantly, hair falling forward like a curtain, hiding his flushed face. Tarymn’s chest swelled, a dangerous kind of giddiness flooding him just from having him this close.
“Why are you hiding from me?” he asked softly, threading his fingers into Ludiin’s hair and tugging his head back so he could see those wide, uncertain eyes.
Ludiin shivered against him, hands twitching as if he wanted to escape, but Tarymn caged him in with his arms.
“Stay,” he ordered, voice dropping to a growl.
The smallest moan slipped past Ludiin’s lips, breathless and unguarded. The sound speared through Tarymn’s chest, straight to his gut, and he nearly came undone.
Fucking hell, he’s killing me.
He brushed his lips against the corner of Ludiin’s mouth, unable to stop himself. Startled, Ludiin gasped, pressing a hand to Tarymn’s chest as if to push him back. “What are you doing?”
“Trying really fucking hard not to devour you,” Tarymn muttered roughly, arms tightening instinctively around the smaller body trembling against him.
“Why? It’s…” Ludiin’s voice cracked as he shook his head. “I don’t understand what’s happening right now.”
“I’m trying to tell you something,” Tarymn admitted, loosening his hold. His hands fell to his thighs, clenching, unclenching. He leaned back against the couch with a long, unsteady breath. “But I’m making a damn mess of it. I’m… scared.”
Ludiin blinked, almost incredulous. “You? Scared?”
“Yes,” Tarymn said. “I’ve been terrified since the day I realized you’re my true mate. I’ve been dreading this moment because I didn’t know how to tell you, you were mine… after I’d already said you weren’t.”
The silence thickened between them. Ludiin’s face crumpled, disbelief and betrayal flashing across it. “I’m what?”
“You’re my mate, Ludiin.”
Ludiin stumbled back, shaking his head violently, his breath stuttering. He tore himself off Tarymn’s lap, eyes burning with distrust. The very look Tarymn had dreaded.
Fuck.
Tarymn shot to his feet, reaching, desperate to pull him back, to keep him from slipping away. But Ludiin retreated another step, tears spilling unchecked down his cheeks.
Tarymn’s chest clenched until it hurt. “Shhh… it’s alright. Everything is going to be fine.”
“You lied to me?” Ludiin’s voice broke, laced with pain.
His gaze pinned Tarymn, eyes glistening, hurt rolling off him in waves so strong it was almost suffocating.
“I thought I was going crazy. I thought I was feeling something I shouldn’t.
I fought it for years, tried to bury it, kill it.
Yet… you knew.” His chest heaved as he stumbled back, as though even sharing the same air with Tarymn was unbearable.
“Ludiin, listen…” Tarymn rasped, stepping forward.
Ludiin flinched, holding up a hand like a shield. “No. Please. I can’t…”
“Don’t shut me out,” Tarymn pleaded, the desperation in his tone cutting through the stillness.
“Why not? You did. You left me to drown in this. You made me feel so alone. You…” He choked, his lips trembling.
Tarymn’s whole body tensed with the need to close the distance, to drag him into his arms and hold him, but he forced himself to stand still. His hands curled into fists at his sides, nails digging into his palms until they stung. The silence in the den pressed down on them.
Tarymn’s chest ached with the certainty that he might lose his mate and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
So, he swallowed down his fear, and chose the only thing left to give: the truth.
“I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you as my mate from the moment we met,” Tarymn bit out.
“The signs were there. But I was… blind,” his throat bobbed as he swallowed, “too caught up in what happened with my dad to see what was right in front of me. And by the time I finally realized you were mine, it was too late. You were already hurting, already running from what you felt. And I…” his voice wavered, “I respected your decision, even though it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. ”
He dragged a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. “I wish I could make it better for you, erase the pain, rewrite the past. But I can’t. This… this is us. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Ludiin said nothing. He only stared back at him with wide, glassy eyes, looking so lost, so breakable.
Tarymn longed to go to him. Hold him. Instead, he turned toward the stairs. His boots scuffed softly against the floorboards. He stopped at the second step, shoulders tight. “And Ford,” he said without looking back, “that alpha won’t be your model anymore. I’ll be your model.”
Ludiin blinked. “What? You can’t just…”
Before the words could form, Tarymn was there.
He closed the distance between them in a heartbeat.
Fisting Ludiin’s shirt as he dragged him forward and crushed their lips together.
The kiss was hard, fierce, a clash of desperation and possession.
It stole the air from the room, left Ludiin trembling against him.
When Tarymn finally pulled back, Ludiin swayed, lips red and parted, eyes glassy with shock and desire.
“I can,” he said, voice rough. “And I just did. No alphas for you.” His gaze burned into Ludiin’s. “I’m your alpha.”
“You’re not,” Ludiin whispered.
Tarymn leaned in until their foreheads nearly touched. His voice dropped to a dangerous murmur. “Yes, I am.” He pressed a kiss to Ludiin’s forehead, then stepped back, forcing himself to move away before he did something stupid. Again.
Ludiin needed time. Space.
Tarymn would give it. He’d give him everything.
But God help him, he prayed it wouldn’t take another five years.
He prayed.