Chapter 32
It was hard saying goodbye to everyone the following morning.
We were all going our separate ways and heading home for Christmas.
I hated that I wouldn’t see the girls for more than a week, and despite our breakup, I also found I was sad to leave Wes.
We might not be together anymore, but he was still one of the people I was closest to.
He gave me a warm hug goodbye, and I knew I was going to miss him over the holidays.
It was quite a long trip home, and it was late afternoon by the time Matthew’s plane touched down at the private airport outside of Rapid Bay.
I was exhausted because I’d barely slept all night, but my fatigue completely disappeared the moment I saw my mom.
She was waiting by her car and grinned from ear to ear when she saw me emerge from the plane.
I ran to meet her, needing a hug from her more than I needed air to breathe.
She caught me up in her arms and laughed when I squeezed her extra tight.
“Miss me, huh?” she asked.
“You have no idea.” I finally released her and went to load my bag in the car.
“How was the ski trip?”
“Well, I suck at skiing, and Wes and I broke up last night, so it probably could have been better.”
She touched my arm to stop me. “You broke up?”
“Yeah.” I let out a sigh. “But seeing as I’m not a devastated mess right now, it makes me wonder if perhaps it was for the best.”
“You’re not upset?”
“I mean, I am, but it just feels like the right thing to do for both of us.”
“It sounds like you’re being very mature about it,” Mom said. “But this doesn’t have anything to do with Noah, does it?”
It took me a moment to gather my thoughts.
“Noah definitely didn’t help the situation,” I said.
“But I think it’s more that Wes and I rushed into our relationship when neither of us were ready, and it was starting to show.
I thought about it a lot last night, and I think because we’ve broken things off now, we might have a chance at still being friends”
“Is that something you want?”
“It might be hard at first,” I said. “But I definitely still want him in my life.”
Mom smothered me with another hug. “How did I create such a grown-up young woman?”
I laughed and shrugged out of her hug. “Mom.”
She shot me a wink and got in the car.
“How’s the café?” I asked as she drove us home.
“Same as usual.”
“So, quiet?”
“Yeah.” Mom gave me a tight smile. “It’s been slow the last few weeks, but it’s picked up since the winter break started and people began filtering back into town.” The more she talked during the car trip, the more I noticed how hoarse her voice was sounding.
“Mom, are you feeling okay?”
“Fine, why?”
“Your voice is scratchy, and I’m trying to figure out whether you went to a heavy metal concert on the weekend without telling me or you’ve picked up a cold and are going to be sick for Christmas. Neither answer is acceptable.”
She waved off my concern with a laugh. “You worry too much. I feel perfectly fine. I probably just stayed up too late last night.”
“I hope you weren’t up watching Downton Abbey without me. You know we always watch it over Christmas together.”
“Of course not, I would never start our yearly Downton binge without you.” Mom smiled. “I mostly couldn’t sleep because I was too excited about you getting home today.”
“I’ve been pretty excited to get back too,” I admitted. “It’ll be nice to spend some time at home.”
“It will. It’s not the same here without you.”
“Nowhere’s the same without you, Mom.”
She reached across the car and took my hand. The way her eyes brightened at my words made me feel like she’d been truly touched by them.
“Now, tell me more about your trip,” she said.
“Well, you’ll be glad to hear I finally managed to drive without freaking out…
” I launched into the story of my emergency dash to the hospital with Noah.
Mom seemed more hung up on the way I spoke about Noah than my driving success though, and she kept sending me knowing looks.
I decided not to tell her that he’d told me he loved me again.
She’d want to know how I felt, and not even I knew the answer to that.
We arrived at the café in time for a late dinner, and I was pleased when mom told me Norma was finishing her shift early to join us.
Frank also came, and it was so sweet to see how well he and Norma were getting along.
They were so cute together, and it gave me hope that one day my love life might actually fall into place.
I didn’t bother unpacking after dinner. It was growing late, and I knew I’d have time to put my things away come morning.
Mom and I were going to start our annual Downton Abbey tradition anyway.
I put on a pair of cozy sweatpants and went to brush my teeth while Mom set up the TV.
I couldn’t seem to find the toothpaste though.
“Mom, are you out of toothpaste?” I called out.
“I finished it this morning,” she shouted. “There’s a new tube in the cabinet above the sink. Maybe try the top shelf.”
I’d had a quick look in the cabinet before, but clearly, I’d been too tired because, when I checked again, the toothpaste was sitting right where she’d said. I went to grab the tube, but as I did, my attention snagged on a little white container sitting on the shelf beside it.
I normally would have ignored the bottle completely, but my father’s surname was written in large letters across the side of it. Why on earth would my mom have medicine made by The LaFleur Corporation?
I took the bottle off the shelf and turned it over in my hand.
My mom’s name was on the prescription label along with instructions to take one tablet daily.
It didn’t say what the tablets were for, but my stomach plummeted because my father didn’t produce run-of-the-mill pharmaceuticals. The focus of his treatments was cancer.
I rushed from the room, still clutching the little white bottle.
“Did you find it?” Mom asked. She was sitting in front of the TV, getting Downton Abbey up on screen.
“Mom, what are these?”
She turned to look at me, and the easy smile on her face dropped. She stood up and hurried over to me, snatching the container from my hand and shoving it in her pocket. “You weren’t supposed to see those.”
“Weren’t supposed to see? Mom, what are they?” It was hard to keep the fear and confusion from my voice.
“It’s nothing you need to worry about.”
“It’s not nothing. I know the kind of drugs Matthew manufactures. Why do you have tablets that treat cancer?”
Her expression was torn, and when she didn’t answer immediately, my mind went straight to a very dark place. I knew something bad was coming, and I started to tremble. “Mom?”
“You better sit down…” She went to touch my arm, but I shook her off.
“I don’t want to sit down. I want you to explain.”
“Okay, okay.” She slowly blew out a breath. “I just want to start by saying you really don’t need to worry.”
I sank down onto the couch, no longer sure I could stand even if I wanted to. Her telling me there was nothing to be concerned about only made me more apprehensive.
“I’m fine,” she continued. “And I’m going to keep being fine.”
She wasn’t making me feel any better. Fine was the word you used when you were pretending everything was okay but it most definitely wasn’t. The word you used when you were in total denial. I felt like I was going to be sick.
“Just tell me what’s wrong,” I said. Her cautious explanation was only making me fear the worst.
She took a deep breath and sat on the couch beside me before gathering my hands in hers. “I have thyroid cancer.”
Her words paralyzed me. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. As soon as I’d seen those pills on her shelf, I’d suspected this was something bad. But it was one thing to speculate and another to have it confirmed.
Mom’s grasp on my hands tightened as she gave a reassuring squeeze. My body didn’t feel like my own right now though, and I could barely register the sensation.
“You have cancer?” I needed to hear it again. I felt like I was under water and her words were brushing over the surface. I wasn’t sure I’d understood her correctly. This didn’t feel real. How could it be true?
“I do, but it’s not the most serious kind of cancer,” she explained. “And we caught it early. My chances of a full recovery are high, and the treatment I’m on isn’t invasive. I’m going to live a long, healthy life, I promise.”
Tears pricked my eyes. Even if this cancer was less serious, it was still cancer, and despite what Mom said, that word felt like a death sentence.
Perhaps she’d survive it now, but what about in the future?
What if it came back? I was jumping ahead of myself though.
I needed to focus on how she would get through it now.
“What treatment are you on?” I asked. “What exactly are your survival chances? Who’s your doctor? Can I talk to them?”
My mom gave me a soft smile. “I know you have a lot of questions,” she said. “And we can make an appointment to chat with my doctor if that will make you feel better.”
“It would,” I said, but it only felt slightly true.
It didn’t change the fact I felt terrible she’d been dealing with this all on her own.
She’d seemed tired for months now, but I’d assumed she’d been overworking herself.
Had I gotten so caught up in my new life I’d failed to notice she was struggling for another reason? How could I have missed this?
She seemed to have a positive outlook, but I couldn’t imagine coping with something like this without the support of my family. How she’d handled the mental and physical load without me.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because you’d just broken up with Levi at the time, and you were devastated. I couldn’t dump this on you too.”
“I could have handled it.”