Chapter 20 Ashton #2
“No. It’s my turn now.” I run my hand down his arm and take his hand in mine.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever told you before, but Finn, I’m so sorry.
It wasn’t fair for me to lean on you the way I did.
My parents were falling apart. My life was falling apart.
I was falling apart, and you took on the role of protector.
You held me together more than you ever should have had to.
You made me feel safe. But it wasn’t Jamie I needed to be kept safe from.
I was safe from the pain of being alone in the world.
No matter where I was, you were with me.
Even after I left. Even when I was in Chicago and you were here.
You did that. You’ve always done that. Because of you, I was never truly alone.
And I love you too. I always have. I always will.
You are my best friend, and I should have told you as soon as anything happened. ”
He clenches his jaw, not ready to look at me quite yet. “So tell me now.”
“Finn,” Jamie warns, and I turn to him and shake my head the tiniest bit.
This is my battle as much as it’s his, and I absolutely refuse to be the thing that comes between them.
He’s not happy, but he kisses Kyrie’s forehead and watches us silently, showing me more trust than I think he realizes. And I will forever be grateful for that.
“Jamie and I slept together in Chicago.” As if he can’t stay away, Jamie moves behind me. His big body brushes my back, offering silent support but letting me have the control he knows I need right now, and I fall a little more in love with him for that.
“And . . .” Finn pushes, but he knows the answer.
“And I’m pregnant.” His head drops, and so does my stomach. “Please, Finn . . . I need you to be okay with this. I need you to not hate me.”
He lifts his head, but it’s not me he’s looking at. “Are you together?”
Jamie wraps an arm around me possessively, and I sink into his quiet strength. “Yeah, man. We are.”
“We were going to tell you,” I add quietly. “But I wanted to wait until after I saw the doctor today.”
“Everything okay with the pregnancy?” He doesn’t quite shift fully into Dr. Murphy mode, but there’s a clinical edge to his tone. “You look like you’ve lost weight since you got here, Ash. I thought it was stress.”
“I have lost weight.” Weight I didn’t have to lose.
“Six pounds, actually, so Kenzie wants to monitor me, and I need to try to gain that back. But . . .” I stop and glance up at Jamie, waiting for his permission, which he gives with a press of his lips to my forehead.
“He’s only measuring a little small. Nothing to be concerned with yet, she said. ”
“He?” A slow wobbly smile spreads across Finn’s handsome face. “You two are having a boy?”
“You gonna stop trying to fight me now?” Jamie groans, but there’s no malice this time, thankfully.
“Probably not,” Finn murmurs, his eyes growing wider. “I don’t hate you, Ash. I don’t hate either of you. But don’t fucking lie to me again.”
“We didn’t lie,” I argue and get side-eyed.
“A lie by omission is still a lie, Carmichael.”
“Are we forgiven, Murphy?” I push my luck as my stomach rolls again.
“I don’t know. I’m still in shock my best friend and my brother are having a kid.
Maybe make me his godfather and I’ll forgive you.
Best man wouldn’t hurt, either. Damn, that would piss off Maverick.
” Finn’s smile is a little evil as I stand in front of him, trying to act like that insinuation didn’t just scare the shit out of me.
“I mean . . . You guys are getting married, right?”
“Eventually,” Jamie assures him, and I think my head explodes like something from a Looney Toons cartoon.
We have absolutely not talked about marriage.
What the actual fuck?
I open my mouth to ask, but my stomach revolts the final time, and I dry heave all over my best friend’s boots.
Oops.
Jamie
“You know, you’re really good with her.” Finn sits opposite me, where I’m lying with Kyrie asleep on my chest. I know I should have put her to bed an hour ago, but Ashton fell asleep before dinner, and I didn’t want to risk waking her if Kyrie cried when I put her down.
It’s safe to say it’s been one hell of a day.
“Kyrie or Ashton?” I ask my brother, still more than a little frustrated from the showdown in the kitchen earlier today.
“Both, I guess.” He leans forward, his elbows on his knees and stares at the sleeping princess.
“I need you to tell me this isn’t some fling you’re going to get tired of, Jamie.
And before you say anything, remember I’m coming at this from a place of wanting to protect that woman upstairs. Even if it’s from you.”
“She doesn’t need you to protect her anymore. She’s got me,” I clap back, feeling possessive as hell. “And no. It’s not a fling. Fuck, Finn. How big of an asshole do you think I am?”
“Brother, I’ve never seen you with the same girl twice. What the hell am I supposed to think?” he challenges.
“You really don’t get it, do you?” Kyrie stirs, and Finn’s face drops.
“That’s because it was always going to be her.
I always knew it would be Ashton and me in the end.
I’m not going to get tired of her or Kyrie or my kid, brother.
I’m not going to hurt her. Never her. Not again. Can you say the same?”
He lifts his face but stays silent.
“You matter to her, little brother. That’s not going to change because we’re together,” I promise him, calmer now than earlier, seeing more clearly now too. “She might be your best friend, but she’s my fucking world.”
“You’re really going to marry her, aren’t you?” And damn, I like the sound of that.
“Yeah, man. I am.” My woman. My babies. My family.
“When?” the shit pushes harder.
“As soon as she says yes,” I groan, knowing we’ve got a few more hoops to jump through before she’s ready for that.
But I’m a patient man.
For her . . . For our family, I can wait.