CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Hendrix
W hen I don’t know what to do, I fidget. I move through the space and pick up or straighten things or do anything.
And right now, the image of his hard cock pressed against his pants and the scent of his soap in the air has me wanting things I shouldn’t want and thinking thoughts that are doing a number on my system.
“Paul put cracks in me, but I have a feeling that someone like you would break me. I don’t want to be broken, Jase.”
Why the hell would I say that to him? Admit that and open up to him?
I tear open a square, gold foil packet with my teeth and let the empty wrapper flutter to the ground.
THIS is why I don’t drink. Ever. Because I open my mouth and say things I shouldn’t.
Ugh.
I pull open the balcony door, tear open another packet and tuck its corner beneath an empty champagne bottle.
Why would I give him something to use against me?
I leave another opened packet on the foot of the bed and then another on the kitchen counter. I then take the contents of all the packages, the lubricated latex of the condoms, wrap them up in paper towels and then stuff them in the bottom of the trash can as if they were used.
It’s only then I catch movement on the far side of the suite. Jase is standing there with his hair a wet mess, his jeans on his hips but unbuttoned, and his torso bare.
Good thing I’m over here.
“What in the world are you doing?” he asks as he scrubs a towel through his hair and moves toward me barefooted.
I drop another ripped condom wrapper on the edge of the credenza and laugh.
“Cookie?”
“You’re a rock star, right?” I tear another wrapper with my teeth and shove it inside the empty champagne bottle on the end table beside me. “Since it will undoubtedly leak somehow, we need to make sure whoever the hotel cleaning staff is, they don’t doubt what happened here.”
He barks out a laugh as he strolls around the room and takes in the various wrappers I’ve deposited. “I love the thought, the belief you have that I can perform like this, but if I can fuck that many times in one night, then I’m a goddamn god.”
“Exactly.” I look up at him and grin. “Only the best public image for my pretend husband.”
I love the astonished look on his face and what looks like embarrassment mixed with arrogance. It’s the cutest combination that doesn’t belong on that body of his. “Or they’ll think we had a wild orgy.”
“Oh.” My face falls and then my nose scrunches. “I didn’t quite think of that option. I’ll uh—pick them up. I’ll—”
“Don’t you dare.” He reaches out and grabs my wrist to prevent me. “I love what you’ve done with the place.”
We stare at each other across the short distance. What is he thinking? Is he wondering why the “normal” baker he decided to marry is doing this? Am I what he bargained for? Does he look at my lips and want to kiss them again like I do his?
Nah.
Jase is a great guy, would probably tell me he wanted to kiss me again simply to avoid hurting my feelings, but I don’t have any delusions of grandeur that he couldn’t go out right now, snap his fingers, and have anyone he wanted.
“It’s okay, Jase. You’re not my type either.”
Truer words have never been spoken, but there’s something to be said about how much fun we had last night. The laughter. The ice cream. The dancing.
“Where in the world did you get these?” he finally says, breaking the silence, and he lets go of my wrist.
“You got ice cream, I bought condoms.” I shrug. “I figured that we needed to stage this better. Sell this convincingly.”
“All these condoms and none of them put to good use. What a waste,” he jokes as he picks a wrapper up and drops it back down.
“It might be a little awkward bringing someone up from the casino floor while your wife is sound asleep in the bed,” I say to play off the pang of hurt that comment unexpectedly causes.
“Hendrix. I wouldn’t—”
“Did you really talk me out of getting a tattoo last night?” I ask, wanting to change the subject. The last thing I want him to think is that I wanted to have sex with him. Or think that his joke referred to or implied that he meant me. I mean... it didn’t, right ?
It couldn’t have.
He’s him. I’m me. A kiss is a kiss and a lot different from giving my body to him.
“Yes,” he says before my thinking spirals out of control. “You were quite adamant that you get a pink heart like the one I have on my wrist. I thought you might regret it in the morning, considering you’ve never had one before. And I’m not certain that twenty years from now, when this is all said and done, that you’re going to want a reminder of last night.”
I hate that he makes sense. “Thank you,” I say softly.
Does he really think I’ll forget? Or that last night was all that bad? I woke up with a smile on my face despite the headache and feeling freer than I can remember in years. In some respects, as crazy as this whole situation has been, it was exactly what I’ve needed because of how Fuck You, Paul , dismantled my life.
“I’m all for rebelling, sweetheart, but I have a feeling that marrying me is more rebellion than you’ve ever tried, so let’s just take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, before we permanently mark your skin.”
I bite my bottom lip and nod. It’s reasonable enough. More than. And yet a little part of me—the same part of me who repeats fuck you, Paul, every morning—wonders if I’ll regret not doing it. Commemorating me living a little.
“I still can’t believe you did this.” He chuckles.
“Sex.” I point to the condoms, wanting to end this conversation. “Drugs.” I point to the Ibuprofen bottle sitting on the counter open. “And rock and roll.” I point to him.
A grin slides across his lips. “You’re something else.”
“You ain’t seen nothing yet.”