Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Sam stared after the car, her hand still weirdly reached out into the air, to Taylor. She dropped it to her side.
What the actual fuck.
She walked back to the table, finished her coffee in a blur, and began the walk back to her place.
The next morning Sam was back at work, still reeling from the day before. She’d slept like shit, felt like shit, and hadn’t yet come up with how she should handle things between her and Taylor. She was hoping to talk to her like two adults yesterday, but clearly, that wasn’t the case. Hopefully, with a little time, she’d be able to get through to her. Though time wasn’t exactly on her side…
There was so much to organise now that her dad had accepted the offer. The new owners were going to turn her place into a casual office and staff kitchen combo and were coming in midweek to run through their initial thoughts and ideas for the transition. She was so excited on the one hand by the changes, and devastated on the other, not being able to share this with Taylor like she’d thought. It made her realise just how close they’d become, how often they spoke and how much her hand kept twitching to text her, call her, just talk to her.
The buzzer went off. She looked up to see Jase smiling down at her over the counter.
“Jase, hi. I didn’t expect to see you in today. What can I help you with?”
He rapped his knuckles on the top. “Day off today, and I was actually here to see you. Got a minute?”
“Oh sure. Dad?” she called out.
“Yup!” he replied, somewhere down the back of the shop.
“I’m just stepping outside for a sec. Can you keep an eye out for customers.”
“Got it!”
She rounded the corner and led Jase out of the back doors for a bit of extra privacy in the yard, since she had a good guess what he wanted to talk about. They walked in silence until Jase turned to her as they neared the edge of the yard by the water.
“So I wanted to thank you. In person.” He took a deep breath. “I finally spoke to Pops last night. Thank you for the idea,” he said, nudging his shoulder into hers, “and for helping me work up the courage to do it. Also, sorry for dragging you into my mess as long as I did.”
She waved him off. She more than understood when the timing wasn’t quite right to share something as big as this with family. She tried not to think about the conversation she’d yet to have with her dad, feeling like a complete hypocrite.
“So I’m assuming by the positive attitude, things went well?” Sam asked.
His grin widened. “You’d be right.” He sat on the wooden edge, swinging his legs over the side and patting the spot beside him. She followed suit, eyes tracking a couple of seagulls on the boat across from them fighting over a piece of food, a mess of squawks and flapping wings.
“It went so much better than I was thinking in my head. He was more angry that I hadn’t told him sooner, said he feels like a fool for trying to set things up with you. But as I explained to him, we probably wouldn’t have had the conversation if he hadn’t. So in a way, it’s thanks to that whole thing it worked out the way it did.”
“That’s a good point. I’m just really happy it all went well for you. So what now? Time to download a dating app?”
He screwed up his nose. “One step at a time. I’m an old-school boy at heart, so if I could find a guy just out and about somewhere, I’d prefer that. Who knows, maybe Pops will find someone else to set me up with?”
“I mean, he doesn’t have bad taste.” She gestured at herself, making Jase laugh. “In all seriousness though, well done for telling him, I know you were pretty scared.”
“Shitting myself.” He laughed again. “But feeling the fear and doing it anyway feels pretty good.”
“Well in the spirit of feeling the fear and doing it anyway…” She refused to look at Jase. “I might not be straight either.”
“Hold up. What? Since when?”
“Well, it kind of hit me out of nowhere. One minute I’m making a new friend, then I’m thinking about her— way too much —and then I’m kissing her, and yeah. It’s all still very new, and it might already be over, so whatever.” She let her shoulders drop, still staring out at the marina. In this moment, she was just thankful Jase was someone she felt she could talk to about this, as hard as it was.
“Wait, is this about Taylor? The one I met yesterday? So you’re not seeing her anymore? I’m so confused.” He scrunched up his face, trying to work it all out.
“I don’t know?” She phrased it as a question, which only made Jase raise his eyebrows. She huffed, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. “We got into a fight—well not a fight—but essentially after you left, I told her how I’m leaving to go on my big trip sooner than planned, and she just… fled.”
Jase frowned. “So she’s scared.”
Sam’s eyebrows flew up. “Maybe? I guess I didn’t get a chance to ask her or even see how she felt about it all. I wasn’t anticipating meeting a girl OR leaving as soon as I am.”
“So how long’s the trip? Can’t you just pick things up when you get back?”
“Yeah, no. It’s more of a one-way trip sorta deal at this stage, I don’t know when I’m coming back.”
“Right. That’s complicated.” He picked up a small rock, throwing it into the water below.
Sam groaned. “Tell me about it. Maybe she’s right to run for the hills. It’s so early, and I really don’t know how I’d make long distance work from a boat.” She watched the ripples growing bigger and bigger.
“How much do you like her?” he asked. She tore her eyes away from the water.
“A lot. Like nothing I’ve felt before. The best way I’d explain it is this pull. I just want to be around her, in her orbit, all the time. She just makes sense.”
Sam shrugged.
“So ask her to go with you.”
A laugh flew out her mouth before she could stop it.
“Yeah, right.” But even as she said the words, she knew she’d already pictured it. She could see them on Manny together, sailing off along the coast, waking up together in the cabin. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. But asking someone this new into a relationship? It was crazy. Effing ludicrous . The kind of thought that never came to light.
“I’m serious,” he said, looking intently at her. “If it’s what you want, and you feel that way about her, why not take the chance? Or at least have the conversation about it.”
She nibbled on her lip. “If she’ll even talk to me,” she mumbled.
“You can only try.” He squeezed her knee.
“I’ll think on it.” She side-eyed him. “Also, can you keep this whole thing about me between us?”
“You know what I’m going to say, don’t you?” Jase replied, standing, offering her a hand up at the same time. She grabbed it, rolling her eyes as he pulled her up.
“Oh yes. I’m well aware of what a hypocrite I’m being right now. I’m sorting out some other things with my dad at the moment, and that’s not an excuse I swear, but I am planning to come out to him soon. And I guess I better keep Larry in the loop too,” she winked.
Sam spent the next two nights planning how to talk to Taylor. She’d had the meeting with the new owners this afternoon, which went well, but it had meant no time during the day to even think about her and Taylor. She’d spent the whole time cleaning up the shop and her place first, then the rest of the time showing them around in detail as they laid out their plans. Her dad was going to stay on for a few months as an employee for a smooth handover, but there wasn’t much else for Sam to do aside from clearing out the space for them.
She hadn’t heard from Taylor since their fail of a coffee date on Sunday, and with the clock ticking, she didn’t want to waste any more time contemplating what might be. She needed to know if she was finalising her plans for a solo trip around Australia or if it might indeed become a crew of two and a half—because, of course, Belle would have to come. There’d be no way Taylor would leave her behind. That’s even if this stupid, crazy idea was going to work.
She huffed. She felt like the Big Bad Wolf with all the huffing and puffing she’d been doing around the place the last couple of days and not like the girl who wanted to win back the other girl and set sail into the sunset happily ever after. She was such a sap.
Tonight was the night. Sam’s heart was beating way too fast as she pressed the doorbell at Jess and Taylor’s house. The usual barking sounded from inside, softer than usual.
Jess opened the door.
Damn.
She put on her best smile. Time to win over the best friend. Why was this so damn scary? Jess’ eyebrows raised as she saw her.
“Sam. Hi.” She looked wary.
“Hey, is uh, Taylor home?”
“She doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“Oh, I know that. Very well. But she hasn’t even let me try to talk to her yet. She just left.”
“You’re leaving, Sam. You know what Liz did to her.”
Sam dropped her head, then looked back with determination. “Please, Jess. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think this could work. I want us to work.” She willed her words with everything she had, hoping that Jess would believe her. “Please.”
She really didn’t want to beg.
They stared at each other until Jess blew out a breath and opened the door wider. “She’s going to kill me,” she muttered under her breath.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Sam said, stepping into their house.
“Don’t thank me yet,” Jess replied as she walked Sam to Taylor’s bedroom door. Jess knocked twice and opened the door. Taylor looked up.
“Who was tha—oh.” Taylor’s eyes narrowed as they landed on Sam.
“I’m just gonna…” Jess trailed off as she retreated back off towards the lounge.
Belle leapt off the bed where she’d been snuggled next to Taylor, and ran to Sam as she closed the door to give them more privacy. She bent down to greet Belle, Sam swearing she heard Taylor whispering “ traitor” under her breath.
She straightened up as Belle sat at her feet, wagging her tail. Taylor was still looking at the dog, trying to pretend Sam wasn’t standing right there.
She took in the room. It was messy, like the state of Taylor right now. She looked as bad as Sam felt and her heart ached to see her that way. She wanted to close the gap, wrap her up in her arms and tell her they’d sort everything out. But nothing was ever that easy.
“Can we talk?” she asked tentatively.
All she got was a half-hearted shrug in return.
“Taylor.”
“What? What do you want me to say?”
“How about we have a conversation like grown adults? I want you to talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking. What’s going on in that head of yours?” She widened her eyes, pleading.
Taylor frowned down at her hands, fiddling with one of her nails. Belle lay at Sam’s feet, her nose resting on Sam’s toes. At least someone had some sense.
“What’s the point? This isn’t going to work.”
“Not with that bloody attitude. If you don’t want to talk, fine. Sit there, sulk. I don’t care.” She wanted to stamp her feet, but god damn it, she couldn’t upset the dog.
She sighed. “No, that’s not true. I do care. That’s why I’m here, and that’s why I want to talk, so if you’re not going to, you can just sit there and listen.”
She paused to take a breath as Taylor finally looked at her.
“I like you. A lot. I’ve never been with someone like you, and this is new and scary for me too, but I want to try. Yes, I am leaving, but I’m telling you right now, Taylor, I am not Liz. I’m just following my dream, and I did not expect to meet you amongst it all. You’ve been one of the best things to ever happen to me, but I’m not going to wait around for you to find your voice to work this out with me.”
Carefully, she moved her foot out from under Belle and, without waiting for a response, turned on her heel and opened the door—almost smacking into Jess, who had the decency to look sheepish as Sam stepped past her.
“I’ll see myself out.”
She wasn’t surprised when no one came running after her, though it didn’t hurt any less, an errant tear escaping as she made it to her car. She sniffed, wiping her eyes hastily as she got in and drove off.
Well, she’d done all she could. She’d wanted a conversation, to be able to talk with Taylor instead of a brick wall, but now all she could hope is that the wall had listened and maybe loosened a brick or two. Time would tell.