Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
DEIDRE
I t’s been almost two weeks and I haven’t heard anything from Luke—not a phone call, text, or f lirt of any kind.
It’s killing me. I don’t know if I should contact him or not, even though my situation hasn’t changed.
I can’t give him what he wants, not until I figure out how to fix it.
I want to give him everything, but I must respect his wish and save him from any more pain than is needed.
Mandy keeps asking me what happened, but I can’t talk about it.
The pain is too raw. I’m grateful that the holiday is over.
At least I’ve got some quiet time to reflect on everything before work picks back up again.
I want to be with Luke. He means more to me than this stupid business, but I’m not sure how to have them both. I should be able to have both—right?
“Hey,” Mandy calls from the doorway.
“Hey,” I mumble, staying under the blankets and not bothering to face her.
“Want to come with me to the store?”
“I’d probably scare the customers away,” I say.
“Not showering for a few days and looking like you do…I’d say you’re right,” Mandy giggles. “But it’s not anything we can’t fix.”
“Can you fix my heart?” I ask, feeling the tears threatening to return.
“Yeah,” she agrees. “But that means you need to talk to me about it.”
My head shakes as I start to cry. “It hurts so much, Mandy.”
“I know,” she soothes, curling up behind me on the bed. “I know.”
“It’s not fair,” I continue. “It’s not fucking fair.”
“What’s more important?” she asks sweetly.
“Him."
“Then figure out a way,” she encourages.
“I’ve tried.”
“No, you haven’t,” she challenges. “You’ve been moping in this bed since you got back.”
“Please don’t,” I request.
“I mean it with love.”
“I know,” I agree with a heavy sigh.
Mandy brushes her fingers through my hair as we both stay quiet for a few beats.
“He told me he loved me,” I share.
“Really?” she asks excitedly.
“Yeah."
“What did you say?”
“I told him that I love him.”
“And that fucker won’t talk to you?” Mandy scoffs.
“He wants all or nothing, Mandy.”
“Can you blame him?”
“No. But he doesn’t know why. He can’t and you know that.”
“Yeah,” she huffs. “Maybe if he knew the why, he’d understand…maybe having him know could help figure a way out of this mess.”
“He can’t. It’s bad enough that you know. Thankfully, Victoria still doesn’t suspect.”
“So what if he knows?” Mandy counters.
“She already asked about us.”
“What do you mean?” she replies.
“Victoria confronted me about Luke…showing me some pictures of him at some of the events.”
“How did she get photos?”
“She has a team that follows me around at events for photo ops,” I say. “That’s why I always have to be careful. One wrong move and I’m screwed.”
“What did you tell her?” she asks.
“That he’s a part of my security."
“And?”
“I don’t know if she bought it.”
“Shit. Really?”
“Tony lied for us, saying he was a part of the team.”
“What’s she going to say when he’s no longer around? Victoria might suspect something even more,” Mandy says.
“Wouldn’t matter,” I huff. “The relationship is over. If she had real proof, shit would be worse with the company by now.”
“Her lack of proof does help us figure out how to do both,” Mandy says.
“I’m ashamed that I even allowed this to happen.”
“We all need to swallow our pride at some point or another, Dei.”
“I did when I told him I loved him and accepted the fact that letting him go is better for him,” I reply.
“You’re full of shit, Dei,” Mandy snaps mildly. “You let him go because it’s easier for you than to fight for what you want.”
“You know that technically I can’t even be having this conversation with you,” I remind.
“Is Victoria here? No. Is there anyone else in this room who could be listening in on us talking about that fucked up clause in your contract with Victoria’s company that is suddenly making your life hell?
No! So fuck the contract. Fuck Victoria.
Talk to me at least because I’m about to go through some extreme measures to get you out of this fucking funk,” Mandy declares.
“What kind of extreme measures?” I ask nervously.
“Talk and you won’t find out.”
“I….”
Mandy glares at me.
“Fine,” I huff.
I start at the beginning. Letting Mandy know about the past few trips, the meetings, how Luke and I have barely been able to talk, and then what happened during New Year’s.
Mandy sits quietly for a few moments after I finish, nodding her head as she processes the information.
Normally, I wouldn’t freak out about how quiet she is because this is how she always is when there’s a challenging situation for anyone, but today it’s driving me crazy.
“You need to tell him,” Mandy states.
“I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. He has the right to know. More importantly, you both have the right to be happy and together.”
“I can’t talk to him,” I counter. “He won’t talk to me.”
“Have you tried calling him?”
“No,” I reply sheepishly.
“So, maybe he will talk to you,” Mandy suggests.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Yes, you do,” Mandy challenges.
I shake my head, feeling sick at the thought of all of this. “I need to find a solution before I can talk to him.”
“What? Why?”
“This is my mess,” I remind. “I need to fix it. Preferably, sooner rather than later.”
“Maybe he can help,” she suggests.
“I have to do this myself.”
“There’s nothing wrong with asking for help,” Mandy says.
I force a smile. “I’ve got you.”
“That, you do,” she affirms. “But seriously, consider talking to him. At least to ease the tension between the two of you.”
“I need to regain myself. I don’t expect you to understand, but I need to get my footing…confidence in myself before I can talk to him. Then, when I can, I’ll do it in person.”
“He’s seen you at vulnerable times, too,” she reminds gently.
“Exactly. Which is why I need to stand up and fight for this on my own. I can’t have him swooping in to protect me anymore. I need to show him that I’m willing to fight for him…for us.”
Mandy studies me, but doesn’t comment.
“Let me do this. I need to do this…at least before I can talk to him,” I assure.
“Just don’t wait too long. Time can heal wounds, but too much time can also make them deeper.”
I nod in agreement.
Three days later, Tony, Vix, and I are walking into Victoria’s office for another round of meetings.
She’s been pushing me to reconsider doing ads with many of our sponsors.
I was in yesterday for several meetings and I’m back for more.
Victoria doesn’t have complete control over my company, but with the way she’s been pushing, it confirms that she’s been overstepping boundaries.
I listen intently to the first two pitches, not liking one of them.
I keep my opinion to myself and offer a smile and a confident handshake to the people before they leave.
When there’s a break before the last one, I use Vix as my excuse to get out of the building for a few minutes.
When I get back into the conference room, I see that we’ve got about ten minutes until the advertiser should be arriving.
I peer out the window, considering all of my options and how I can use them to fix things between Luke and me.
“Next, we have our first financial institution,” Victoria announces, entering the room. “Do you need a minute, or can Rachel escort them in?”
“I’m good,” I say, wanting to get the day over as soon as possible.
Victoria hands me a folder with some information about the company. I hear her greet the person as my eyes look over the paperwork.
“Deidre,” Victoria calls. “This is Mr. Warren.”
My eyes lift and I’m caught with a face that I’d say I should recognize but can’t place. “Mr. Warren. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Oh, please,” Mr. Warren replies. “Call me Joseph.”
I look at Mr. Warren’s face more closely. An icky feeling compels me to look back through the glass wall into the waiting area. I don’t see anyone out there, but something feels off. I know him from somewhere, and I can’t figure it out.
“Shall we?” Victoria asks.
“Yes,” Mr. Warren and I say at the same time.
Mr. Warren gestures for me to sit and then takes his seat.
“Let’s get started,” Victoria says, not waiting for a response from anyone else in the room. “Deidre, Mr. Warren is from UA Capital. They’ve been a sponsors for a year now with Flirt .”
I smile and nod.
“They’re looking to do a few marketing campaigns with you and their company,” Victoria continues. “If I’m not mistaken, you already have an account with them, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I agree calmly.
My mind wanders the second Victoria and Mr. Warren continue speaking, not giving them a single second of my attention.
I keep my eyes focused on them, pretending like I’m involved in the conversation, but my ears don’t hear them as I start to speculate about who Mr. Joseph Warren may be.
Their conversation presses on for I’m not sure how long.
I smile and nod, pretending like I’m engaged, all while trying to decipher the odd feeling I’m getting.
“Deidre," Victoria suddenly calls.
“Hm?”
“Do you have any questions for Mr. Warren?” Victoria checks.
“No,” I lie. “I think you’ve covered all of them. Thank you.”
We bid Mr. Warren farewell with Victoria escorting him out of the room.
I sit, staring at the paperwork in front of me from the four different companies we spoke to, chewing on my lip as if that will help me reveal Mr. Warren’s familiarity.
“Hey, Deidre,” Rachel greets suddenly.
Rachel has been Victoria’s secretary for about six months now.
“Hey,” I reply.
“Lots of things to think about, huh?” she says with a smile.
“Yeah."
“Victoria should be back in a minute,” Rachel confirms. “Do you need anything?”
“No,” I say. “Thank you, though.”
“Anytime,” Rachel replies with a smile.
Twenty minutes later, Vix and I are getting into the car to go home.
“Everything okay, Deidre?” Tony asks as he drives.
“Yeah."
“What’s bothering you?”
“I met someone today who seems familiar, but I can’t place him,” I say.
“Who?”
“I’m sure it’s nothing,” I return, brushing it off.
“Usually, when it feels like something’s off, it is.”
I look at Tony, catching his attention in the rearview mirror, but don’t say anything.
“Trust your gut, Deidre,” he encourages.
I look out the window, wondering if I should include him.
“Just start talking as if I’m Mandy,” he offers.
“It’s not your job.”
“Your security is my job, Deidre,” he reminds.
“If I tell you anything, Tony,” I preface, “I need your utmost discretion about the topic.”
“When have I not?”