CHAPTER THIRTEEN #3
Evylin refused to be ashamed. Not when the alternative was an aching and inescapable pain.
If it kept her from falling back into despair, she’d happily prostitute herself to him.
After all, she’d begun to desire their union herself for the last month, purely for enjoyment’s sake.
It would only be a formality, finally taking him to her bed in exchange for keeping the Relic.
Seeing her determination, Deckard’s face twisted in disappointment. “I won’t entertain this conversation any longer. Give the Relic back to Rafferty.”
Her hands curled into fists. “You can’t make me.”
His eyes went wide. “Perhaps I can’t. But if you don’t do it of your own volition, I will allow Auden and Ilain to use whatever force necessary.”
She laughed with empty, caustic mirth. “You wouldn’t let them hurt me. And with the Relic, I could do far more damage than they’d be willing to risk.”
“Not if I give them the other two Relics,” he countered. Slowly, he took a step forward. “Whatever it takes, Evylin, I will protect you—even from yourself.”
The shaking had taken over Evylin’s whole body now. Tears of fury filled her eyes as she backed away. If she thought it would do any good, she’d attack, forcing him to submit under violence. But she knew such a recourse would only convince him of the justification of his decision even more.
“You’ll lose me,” she warned. “If you make me do this, I won’t ever forgive you.”
Deckard’s pinched brow and dejected frown gave his sharp features a stricken, resigned cast. “That’s a risk I’m going to have to take.”
Evylin glared at him. “Altruistic bastard,” she spat.
He simply ducked his head, shoulders hunched as though he carried the weight of Terraeus alone.
She wanted to yell at him, to tell him that his disappointment was his own damn fault.
She finally understood Thom’s dislike for his brother.
While Deckard did everything for the sake of morality and goodness, he made the rest of the world into his inferiors.
He made it seem as though she was being selfish and weak by doing what she had to do to protect herself. And she hated him for it.
Just as her anger reached its crest, the warm pulse of the Day Relic began to defuse Evylin’s fear.
It swept over her body, soothing her trembling muscles.
The anguish and fury in her heart eased even as a tear dropped over her lashes.
It coursed a path down her cheek. Yet, she didn’t feel the sorrow it held, succumbing to the Day magic’s calming effect.
Evylin took the first clear breath she’d managed since the start of the conversation.
Why had she been so upset? Yes, Deckard was self-sacrificing.
That was part of what made him so wonderful.
He might be trying to take the Relic from her, but it was out of concern for her. And she’d cursed him for it.
Evylin put her hands on her cheeks as a small, embarrassed laugh slipped out of her.
Deckard’s head snapped up in shock.
“I’m sorry,” she said around her laughter. “That was uncalled for. I quite appreciate your altruism. It makes you all the more charming.”
He didn’t speak as he continued to study her, doubt evident in his darkening gaze.
Evylin took a step closer, the Day magic curling contentedly around her limbs. “I know you’re trying to take care of me,” she promised. “But it isn’t necessary.”
He stood there, unmoved by her words.
“I’m all right, Jonn. I can carry it.”
“No,” he said firmly. “You can’t.”
Evylin chewed on her bottom lip. “You’re going to make me give it back no matter what I say, aren’t you?” she realized, hoping her fear didn’t wend into her voice.
“Yes,” he said.
Evylin nodded. “All right. What if—what if we make a deal?”
His eyes narrowed.
She held up a hand to beg his indulgence. “I’ll give the Relic back to Rafferty,” she said, then added, “for a day. And then, when I prove to you that you’re wrong—that it won’t hurt me to be parted from it—you let me have it back.”
Deckard drew in a long, deep breath. “And if I deem that I was right, and you can’t handle its inevitable removal?”
“Then you can keep it from me,” she assured him.
As Deckard considered her proposal, Evylin steeled herself for his refusal. She needed this. One day. She could make it one day without the Relic. She had to make it one day. But he had to give her the chance first.
“Please, Jonn,” she begged.
Slowly, Deckard released a sigh. Then, with a great deal of reluctance, he nodded.
“Thank you,” she whispered, relief and anxiety coursing through her.
“I won’t let you hurt yourself, Evylin,” he replied, determination and compassion mixed in his words. “Even if you’re convinced you aren’t.”
“I know,” she said, forcing herself to smile. “I’ll be fine. You’ll see.”
The disbelief plain on his face hurt her, knowing it was her he didn’t believe in.
“I’ll give it to you now if you’d like,” she offered.
“I trust that you’ll hold up your end of the bargain,” he said. “When we get back to camp, I’ll pull Rafferty to the side. We won’t tell anyone else about this. They don’t need to know.”
Evylin nodded, appreciating his discretion.
They walked back to the camp, an uncomfortable distance and awkward silence in the chasm between them. One day, Evylin told herself. She only had to make it one day. And then she could have the Relic back for good.