Taeja

21. Chapter 21

21

The door opened, and she smiled at Liyah. “Hey!”

Liyah stepped aside so Taeja could enter. “Why yu deh here so early on a Saturday?” she asked, closing the door.

“I can’t visit my best friend anymore?” Taeja pouted as she sat on the sofa.

“I didn’t say that. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. I was on the road with Zain, but I wanted to see you. Mason deh here?”

Liyah smiled while walking further into the house. “He just left.”

“Why are you smiling?”

“Because we’ve been doing good,” Liyah replied. “The whole cheating saga is behind us… But he doesn’t know that I was only texting people, so he’s still convinced that I was cheating, too. That should keep him in check.”

Taeja laughed. “How did the dinner go?” she asked, and Liyah shrugged.

“Like every other dinner. I smile, laugh, and shake the hands of everyone he introduces me to, then they ask me when I’m joining the family.”

Taeja scoffed. “You told Mason you’re not ready to be married yet, right?”

Liyah nodded. “That was the first thing I told him in junior year when he brought it up.”

“Did he bring it up again?”

Liyah shook her head while entering the kitchen. She grabbed a glass from the cupboard and a bottle of orange juice from the fridge. While pouring, she said, “No. I told Mason several times already that not because everyone in his family got married young, I’m going to be the one who makes him marry young, too. I have goals I want to achieve first.”

Grabbing the remote, Taeja glanced at Liyah. “Yu cya offer mi a drink?”

Liyah hissed her teeth. “You’re not a guest here. If you want anything, come help yourself.”

“I miss the days when you used to love me.”

“Mi love yu like cook food.” Liyah grinned and sat beside Taeja, resting her head on Taeja’s shoulder.

As the opening soundtrack of Taeja’s favorite film filled the room, Taeja threw an arm over Liyah’s shoulder. Cool air drifted through the nearby window and grazed their skin.

“Why do you have the window open?” Taeja asked, hating how the humid air would make her hair frizzier.

“My AC stopped working and my landlord is being an ass.” Liyah sighed. “I can’t wait for my lease to end. I already have a room lined up for me at school because I’m working on campus. Can you believe it’s our last year?”

“No. Time moved so fast… Wait. I thought you were gonna do grad school?”

Liyah scoffed. “Hell no. That was before I knew how serious these student loans are. Maybe when I pay them off, I’ll consider it. My focus is our graduation in December.”

Taeja smiled. “Remember when you were against taking all those summer classes and now we’re going to be graduating a semester earlier?”

“Mi deevn ago ansa yu,” Liyah laughed.

Taeja cleared her throat. “Remember that thing you did for me last year?”

“Be more specific. I’ve done a lot for you.”

“ You know … The account you opened in your name.”

“Oh. Yeah. Do you want the card now?” Liyah asked, and Taeja nodded. She leaned off Taeja’s shoulder, her brows narrowing as she looked at Taeja. “What happened?”

“Jerry cut me off…” Taeja murmured, unable to push away the weight on her shoulder. It burrowed into her skin, shimmering down to her heart, and leaving a deep, painful wound .

Liyah sighed. Then, she stood and went to her room. She returned a minute later with a white envelope in her hand. “Here.”

“You didn’t open it?” Taeja asked as she accepted the sealed envelope.

“I did. How else was I supposed to activate it?” Liyah laid her head on Taeja’s shoulder. “But I resealed it, so it would feel more real for you.”

Tears pricked Taeja’s eyes. “Thanks, Liyah. I say this a lot, but I do love and appreciate you.”

Liyah grinned. “I know, but say it one more time so I can really believe it.”

Taeja snorted a laugh. “Cho, Liyah.” She opened the envelope with shaking fingers, her breathing quickening as her heart paced. She got her first card in her first year of high school, but this was her first time ripping open her own envelope. Which reminded her… “You didn’t use any of the money?”

Liyah shook her head. “Of course not.”

“I told you that you could,” Taeja said. “You did a lot for me when you opened this account and made all the deposits.”

Liyah leaned off Taeja’s shoulder and looked at her with a smile. “I know, Tae. But I always made ends meet, so I didn’t touch it. It’s your money. You worked for this, and I know how much it means to you. Besides, mi prefer when yu spend Jerry money pon mi.”

Taeja chuckled. “This is a lot of money, though. Considering all that I did… It should be close to five hundred thousand because it was just collecting interest.”

“Rich and naa talk!” Liyah exclaimed. “How me love this fi yu so? Don’t mi always tell yu seh Jerry cya wul yu down? Now look at you, almost a millionaire at twenty.”

Taeja smiled until her cheeks hurt. “Stop swell up mi head.”

Liyah grinned. “Happy for you, bestie. Mek Jerry gweh! As one door closes, another one is gonna open every time!”

Taeja nodded. “I guess you’re right.”

“I know I’m right,” Liyah said. “And let me know when you want me to put the account in your name. Just remember me when you get richer.”

“Even if I had nothing, I couldn’t forget you. I’m going to do something for you and I’m not going to tell you what. This is a heads up, so you know you can’t decline it.”

Liyah sighed. “Tae—”

Taeja covered her ears. “Mi nuh waa hear it.”

“You’re so childish— A wa deh vibrate mi batty?”

“My phone,” Taeja laughed as she placed the envelope aside and grabbed her phone, which was buried between the sofa cushions. “Hello?”

“Are you ready?” asked the caller.

Taeja bit into her bottom lip. How his voice sounded much deeper over the phone always did many things to her… It made her clit throb. Her heart race. Her mind full of things that would’ve made a nun blush.

“Yes, I’m ready.” She looked at the clock. It’d been an hour already since he dropped her off from the hair salon.

“I’ll be there in twenty.”

“Okay.” The call ended, and she tossed the phone aside.

“A the madman dat?” Liyah whispered, and Taeja glared.

“He’s not mad.”

“He kicked down my door and told your other man how fi beat up yu fadda. Some screws are loose somewhere, and if you nuh see dat, then mi nuh know how fi help yu.”

Taeja pursed her lips. Circumstances made Zain who he was. She wouldn’t dare to judge him.

“Mi deevn ago answer yu,” Taeja said. “Now shh, so we can continue watching the rom-com.”

Liyah smiled and threw an arm around Taeja’s waist, laying her head on her shoulder. “Okay, but I’m changing the movie from this. Let’s watch a cartoon.”

Amused, Taeja smiled. “Okay,” she said, nuzzling closer to Liyah and relishing in the comforting warmth.

“Yeah… I’m just happy to see you,” Taeja said.

“Doesn’t sound or look like you’re happy to see me. ”

Taeja laughed, shaking her head with a smile while looking at Zain. “I am! It’s just something I was talking about with my best friend. It’s making me feel… a way.”

Raising a brow, Zain drove off. “ A way ?”

Taeja nodded. “It’s a feeling I don’t know how to describe.”

“Do you… wanna talk about it?”

She didn’t have to think. Of course, she wanted to talk about it. As intimidating as Zain portrayed himself to be, she liked talking to him. She didn’t have to pretend to be someone she wasn’t, because, just like Liyah, Zain knew both her good and bad sides. Maybe even more than Liyah because he was as messed up as her.

“Yes.” She nodded.

“Okay,” he said, then made a detour. He drove for twenty minutes until he parked at a grey-painted warehouse with no windows and a single door. A sign made of black paint in a Gothic font was above the door. It said, ‘WRECK IT!’

“What is this place?” Taeja asked. She couldn’t recall ever being on this side of town.

“A rage room.”

Her brows furrowed as she looked at Zain. “I don’t get it.”

“You will. Come on.”

“Okay,” Taeja mumbled, opening her door, and walking ahead of him. “I’ve never been to a rage room before.”

“You’ll love it.”

“Why’s that?” she asked, walking through the automatic door.

“It’s the first place I went to after I got done with physical therapy. It helped me in more ways than one. It will for you, too.”

“How are you so sure?”

“Because I am,” he said as they stopped by a counter. “Stop asking so many questions.”

Taeja pouted, her shoulders slumping as she grumbled, “Miserable like mi nuh know wa fi seh.”

Zain looked down at her, his eyes narrowing. The scar on his left eye always made him more intimidating whenever he glared, but it never scared her. It always intrigued her. “What did you say?”

“Nothing,” she rushed out.

Zain stared at her for a long moment before looking at the associate who approached the counter. Zain booked them a room for an hour, and they waited for an additional twenty for the room to be prepared. After they got dressed in safety gear, another associate led them to the room.

Taeja walked inside while Zain paused at the door for a few seconds before entering. Zain slammed the door shut while she scanned the square room.

Five buckets full of ceramic and glass items were in a corner. Three old TVs lined a wall, along with a printer and mini fridge. An iron barrel was in the middle of the room, atop it was a sheet of board with a metal baseball bat laid on it.

Taeja smirked at the bat. Liyah would’ve loved it.

“Are you ready?” Zain asked from behind her.

Taeja adjusted the protective glasses on the bridge of her nose as she faced him. “What exactly should I do?”

“Destroy everything.”

Taeja grabbed the metal bat and hit the printer as hard as she could.

“Harder,” Zain urged.

“I can’t hit it any harder than this,” Taeja complained.

“You can,” he insisted. “Let your anger drive you. Scream if you must. Just let it all out.”

Taeja inhaled a deep breath before complying with Zain’s order. She swung on everything — starting with the old printer. The crush and scrape of metal was satisfying to her ears.

“I hate Teddy!” she screamed, hitting the printer over and over. She didn’t dodge the broken pieces as they flew around. Some hit her body, landing on the floor while others fell atop the printer to be smashed again. “I hate how Jerry treats me! I hate that Liyah—” A loud crash. “Has to deal with my mess when she has her own shit to focus on!”

As she screamed out her frustration, Zain stood in a corner, watching her and saying nothing. Every so often, he’d empty a new bucket on the ground for her, and Taeja didn’t hesitate to smash everything.

It was amazing!

“Which mother just leff dem pickney so?!” she screamed at the TV. Hot tears streamed down her cheeks now, amplifying her rage by the second. “She even think boh me?! She even remember me?!” Taeja raised the bat to swing it with force, but her grip loosened, and it flew out of her hand.

A loud crash came from behind her as it hit the wall. She spun around with bewildered eyes. Zain was stooping while the bat rocked by his feet.

Taeja gasped, cupping her mouth with a gloved hand. “Did I hit you?”

“No.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” Zain grabbed the bat and walked toward her. He grabbed her by the wrist and spun her around, pulling her flush against him.

Taeja’s breath hitched. What was he doing?

“You need to hold it like this.” Zain placed the bat in her hand, curling his fingers around hers to tighten her grip around it. “And swing it like this.”

“Like this?” She mimicked his actions, then looked at him. She was surprised that he was already looking at her.

Being this close to him — where she could feel his breathing and smell his expensive cologne despite the mess she made — made her heart beat faster than it should. Her lips parted, and she wetted them with her tongue. Zain’s eyes followed the action before he dragged them to her eyes. Her breath got snatched away again, overpowered by the urge to lean in and kiss him.

Zain broke the moment before she could get on her toes and reach for his lips. He looked away from her to the bat they held. “Yes. You’ll use more force and cause more damage.”

Taeja nodded, unable to concentrate when he was this close. His body felt amazing against hers. He was so tall, so muscular, she felt more than protected in his embrace. Zain consumed her thoughts to the point she forgot she was still crying.

“Good,” Zain said, his voice huskier than before. He took several steps backward until he was by the door. “Continue. Be angry. Let it all out. ”

He didn’t have to tell her twice.

She positioned the bat like he showed her and swung on the barrel, denting it with a powerful hit. “I hate thinking about Cassedi every day! I hate wanting to see her! Mi hate feel like this!” She let out a piercing scream as she delivered a powerful blow to the TV, causing the screen to shatter and shards of glass fragments to explode outward. Her breaths came out quick and heavy while her shoulders heaved. As her hand shook violently, the baseball bat slipped through her fingers, crashing to the ground, and rolling away into the mess of debris. “I don’t feel better,” Taeja cried, dropping to the floor, and bringing her knees up to her chest. Loud sobs rocked her body. She couldn’t contain herself even if she tried. She laid her head atop her knees as she forced out, “This isn’t helping, Zain. What should I d-do?”

“Keep crying.”

Sniffling, Taeja raised her head and looked at him. Despite witnessing her outburst, Zain appeared completely at ease, not having moved an inch. “W-what?” she forced out.

“Cry, then pick yourself up,” he said authoritatively. “The world won’t stop for you. Ever. So you decide right here and now if you want it to leave you behind or if you want to continue moving with it.”

She looked away, her eyelids lowering as she focused on the mess before her. “I don’t want to get left behind.”

“Then stop letting your past control you. I know it’s easier said than done, but I’m being real. All those people — they don’t fucking define you. You define yourself. Do you want to be daddy’s helpless little girl forever? Answer me!”

Taeja’s fists balled. Anger surged through her blood, making her want to hit something again. Why was Zain speaking to her this way? So cold, so unfiltered. It hurt her more because she knew he spoke the truth.

“I-I don’t…” she whispered.

“So cry now and pick yourself up later.”

Taeja heard the slam of a door, and she looked up.

Zain left.

She was dumbfounded. What just happened? She didn’t know and wouldn’t use this moment to figure it out. Because Zain’s words hit her at a place that had been aching for so, so long. As harsh as they were, she needed that. She couldn’t keep wallowing in self-pity.

Sure, she always tried to get some freedom. But yearning for her father’s approval always had her rubber-banding.

If she wanted better, she needed to be better. Not for Teddy. Not for Jerry. And not for Cassedi.

But for herself. Taeja Marley.

So, she cried.

A sad cry. An angry cry. A cry of hope.

Freeing all the tears she built up and never allowed herself to feel past the surface. This cry touched her soul, and she allowed herself to feel every splintering emotion.

Then she picked herself up. Just like Zain demanded. And without looking back at the wrecked room, she straightened her shoulders and walked out of there.

Zain was leaning against a wall with his head down while he made a ball in his hand. Sensing her presence, his head snapped up. His eyes beckoned her over, and she took long strides toward him. “How do you feel?”

“Like I should’ve come here long ago.”

Zain seemed pleased, but he didn’t say it. Instead, he lifted her chin and took the glasses off her face. He wiped away her tears with a napkin. It looked like he saved this one for her instead of adding it to his ball.

Taeja smiled after he got done. “Thank you.”

Zain nodded. “Let’s go.”

They headed to a private room to clean up themselves. They did it in silence, and Taeja used the time to reflect on all she’d been through.

How she skyrocketed to a high, then fell from it…

How vulnerable it made her feel, then empowering her after…

It was other-worldly. Unlike anything she ever felt before.

Finally finished with the cleanup, they returned to the car.

As she settled in the passenger seat, she smiled at him. “Thanks, Zain,” she said, and he nodded. “You were right. I feel much better, but I know all of it won’t go away until I get some closure.”

“Your mother?” he asked, and she nodded. “Do what’s best for you.”

“Do you ever… wonder about your biological father?”

Zain shrugged. “Not really.”

“Why not?”

“Seth has a family.”

“You’re his family.”

Zain scoffed. “A thirty-two-year-old son he doesn’t know exists?”

“That doesn’t matter.”

“It does,” he said, a bit harsh. “He has a wife and daughter.”

Taeja gasped. “Stick a pin. You have a sister?”

He chuckled. “That’s what I said.”

Taeja smiled despite rolling her eyes. “Stop be slick wid mi. What’s her name?”

“Lashay,” Zain confessed, and Taeja smiled.

“That’s a pretty name.”

“It is,” Zain agreed.

She detected some sadness in his tone. “Why do you think it’d be bad to know him?”

A few seconds passed before he sighed. “Damon helped me find Seth in college, and sometimes… I kept tabs on him and his family. Seth loves golf. Lashay loves swimming. And Indra hates herself because she couldn’t give him a son.”

“He wants a son?”

Zain nodded. “Indra had a lot of miscarriages; Lashay is their miracle.”

“How old is she?”

“The same age as you.”

Taeja chuckled awkwardly. “That’s kinda messed up.”

“How?”

“It’s not weird dating someone the same age as your sister?”

Zain shrugged. “I don’t know her.”

“You have a point,” Taeja said, then grinned. “Plus, it’s a good thing I like my men older.”

“You’re the youngest woman I’ve dated. Stop making it weird. ”

She laughed. “Okay, okay. But… would it be bad if you met Seth? You’ve been in the picture before Lashay.”

“I know, but Indra would feel worse to know that the random one-night stand before marriage gave her husband all he ever wanted,” he said. “Enough about me. And stop looking at me like that. You talk too much.”

Taeja pouted. “Yu know mi nuh like when yu tell me dat.”

“It’s a habit. I’m not used to people constantly questioning my choices.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” he said while reaching an arm over onto the backseat. When his hand came into view again, a rectangular gift box was in his hand.

Taeja’s heart quickened as he handed it to her. “Is this for me?”

“We’re the only ones here.”

She rolled her eyes with a big smile. “Should I open it now?” she asked, and Zain nodded. Hastily, Taeja undid the bow, then removed the top. Wrapping paper was on top and her excitement increased as she removed it. “ Wow ! Is this what I think it is?”

Zain nodded.

“Mi think yu nehna go mek mi ride it!” she exclaimed, removing the black jacket from the box and holding it at a distance. Her face brightened as she laid it on the dashboard, then removed the pants and laid it atop the box. “It looks like yours!”

“I’ll get you a bike like mine when you learn how to drive.”

Taeja’s smile dropped. “So… never?”

He shrugged. “That’s up to you. A bike isn’t a toy. I’m not getting you one until I know you’re ready. Especially not now when your finger isn’t fully healed.”

Taeja sighed. “Fair.”

Zain smirked before reaching onto the backseat again. He came back with a shiny lavender helmet this time. “You can try it on later.”

Taeja nodded, suddenly regretting wearing her afro. Curious about what else he got her, Taeja looked at the backseat. A nondescript black bag was on the seat.

“You’ll get that another time,” Zain said, making her look at him.

“Okay.” Taeja smiled. “Thanks for these. I can barely wait to try them on. ”

Zain nodded, adjusting himself on the seat. “Put your seatbelt on.”

Nodding, Taeja placed her gifts onto the back seat, then fixed her seatbelt. Zain drove off toward Damon’s house. Taeja had an unwavering smile while looking through the window.

A few days later, Taeja was sitting on Damon’s lap while kissing him all over.

His arms were loosely wrapped around her waist, and hers were thrown over his broad shoulders. She loved how Damon held her tenderly, like she was the most precious gem. Whatever he felt, she felt tenfold. He was always so verbal and unapologetic with his affection; it made her want to give him more than he could ever ask for.

If he wanted a new tech room, she’d buy him an entire building.

Damon made her happier than she’d been in a long, long while.

And with the way they kissed each other hungry with passion, she knew she did the same for him.

They ran out of breath and broke free from the kiss, panting and smiling at each other.

“Baby,” he said, his voice making her warm and fuzzy on the inside. He was about to say something else when a beep captured his attention.

It took her a few seconds to find the monitor that Damon had his gaze set on. This sophisticated room was a tech freak’s wet dream.

“Damon, what happened?” Taeja asked, looking at the black screen that only had a loading bar with the word ‘Complete!’ written a few inches above it.

“We found your mother.”

The world stopped.

Taeja couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t hear. She couldn’t feel.

This was what she wanted for the longest time, and it was here now, but she didn’t know how to react.

Damon found Cassedi? Out of all the Cassedi Robinsons in the world?

Damon’s gentle touch beneath her chin brought her back to reality, turning her head to face him. “We don’t have to look at it if you aren’t sure about this.”

She forced down the lump forming in her throat. “No. I want to know if she’s okay.”

“Okay.” Damon gave her an encouraging smile. “Up.”

Taeja frowned. “Push we back over deh nuh. Yaa treat mi like sidegyal so?”

He chuckled and did as told. Taeja held him tightly as the chair rolled toward the desk. Damon stopped it with his foot before it could hit the desk, and she turned around on his lap to look at the monitors.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he whispered.

Taeja nodded, her eyes wide as she looked at the screen. What would she do if Cassedi was confirmed to be okay?

There was only one way to find out, and living in suspense did more harm than good.

“Okay,” she said on exhale. Her hand was sweating as she clicked the mouse, her heart pounding against her chest as the monitor loaded the search results.