22. Chapter 22
22
She exhaled a long breath. “She’s alive.”
“Were you expecting something different?” Damon asked.
“No… Yes… I don’t know.”
“Do you need a minute?”
“Yes… Thanks.”
“Okay,” Damon said. When she got up off him and took his seat, he gave her a smile of assurance. “I’ll be in the kitchen.”
Unable to move her tongue, Taeja nodded. She waited until the door closed before looking at the screen and exhaling another long breath.
Cassedi Robinson…
Damon found out everything about her.
From the documentation of giving birth to moving to America years ago. Her last location was outdated — it was from nine years ago. Even her driver’s license was outdated. The only thing that proved Cassedi was alive and well, was a post from three months ago on a popular social media platform.
Taeja clicked on the post, her eyes widening at the image. “Cassedi has a baby?”
Tears sprung to Taeja’s eyes as she read the caption: ‘My cookie and I two years ago today!’
Re-reading the post felt like shoving a sharp knife into her own heart. Over, and over and over until the organ was nothing but a cold shell.
“Wow,” Taeja bitterly laughed and exited the post .
She glared at her mother, who smiled back at her. Cassedi’s smile was so familiar even though she hadn’t seen it in years. Taeja couldn’t tell if the picture was old or not, but Cassedi didn’t look like she aged a day.
The longer she stared at the picture, her bitterness seeped away and was replaced by another emotion.
Longing.
Taeja wondered why she never searched this platform for her mother. She always thought senior citizens were the only ones who used it.
Sighing, she printed the information and dropped it in a portfolio. She wiped beneath her eyes before going to the kitchen. Damon stood by the island, taking big bites out of the sandwiches he held in both hands. One looked like plain peanut butter and the other looked like jelly.
She forced a smile. “Hey.”
“Did you find what you were looking for?” he asked.
She nodded. “Thanks.”
“Come here,” he said, resting his sandwiches on the plate on the counter.
Taeja stepped into his hold. Usually, she would’ve felt at peace from hugging Damon. Her body would simmer with heat, and she’d wear the brightest smile.
None of that happened this time.
Taeja was numb.
Even as he held her tightly and brushed her hair out of the way so he could place two long kisses on her forehead.
“Talk to me,” he said.
“I don’t know what to say,” Taeja confessed. “I think I need some time to process this.”
Damon pulled away. “Do you want to be alone?”
“I want Liyah.”
“Okay. I’ll go find her—”
She chuckled. “Calm down. I have her number. I’ll call her like a normal person.”
“Okay.” He grinned and went back to eating his sandwiches.
Taeja called Liyah. Liyah was on her way over to Mason, but she invited Taeja to tag along. Thirty minutes later, they were blazing down the highway.
“Thanks for picking me up. I really need some air,” Taeja said.
Liyah smiled. “No problem. Your man puts the R in rich.”
Taeja grinned. “Damon has a lot going for him. If you think the outside looks good, you should see the inside.”
“One day when the madman nuh ova deh.”
Taeja laughed with a roll of her eyes. “Mi cya stand yu! Cho. Anyway, mi know seh Mason must tired of me being the third wheel ina unu relationship.”
Liyah laughed. “He knows we’re a package.”
“Exactly!” Taeja beamed. “I didn’t mean to intrude this time, though.”
“It’s fine. I won’t stay long. I’m just getting my hairbrush and that’s it.”
Taeja burst out laughing. “A one hairbrush yu have?”
Liyah rolled her eyes. “No. I just needed an excuse to see my man. We had a small argument earlier, so I’m going to ask him if he still loves me.”
“You? A headache.”
“I’m not.”
“ Sure .” Taeja rolled her eyes as she turned down the volume of the radio. “You’re going to be deaf by the time you’re twenty-five.”
“No, I’m not.” Liyah turned the volume back up. “I swear, this car is the best thing Mason ever gave me.”
“Aside from dick?”
“That’s top two, and it’s not number two.”
Taeja smiled. “And he always makes sure your tank is full. Mi just love unu! Next time unu argue, I’m picking Mason’s side because we know you’re never leaving him.”
Liyah pouted. “No more girl code?”
“I just told you that you’re a headache.”
Liyah scoffed as they exited the highway, arriving at Mason’s place in quick time. “Coming inside?”
Taeja grabbed her phone and shook her head. “I don’t want to see anything I’m not supposed to.”
“I’m not going to— You know what, mi deevn a promise that. If I stay longer than ten minutes, recline the seat and make yourself comfortable.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice.”
Liyah laughed and exited the car. She skipped up to the house and used the key to open the door.
For the next few minutes, Taeja stared at the picture of Cassedi with a big frown. The questions running through her mind gave her a headache. As a text from Damon came in, she made a mental reminder to ask Zain to bring her to the rage room again.
Taeja’s brows crinkled at Damon’s text. It was a link. She clicked on it, gasping as it opened a screen in her browser. A flower made of binary codes was in the center of the screen, along with a simple message in the middle: ‘Feel better soon, baby.’
She smiled at the flower as it spun, and the words in the middle throbbed. “Aww, Damon,” she cooed before sending him a sweet thank you message.
She exited his chat as he started typing, and she rewatched the short animation. A loud slam drifted from outside, and she looked up to see Liyah storming toward the car. Mason was behind Liyah.
“Nine minutes…” Taeja muttered. “And they couldn’t go without arguing?”
Liyah opened the driver’s door and sat. Before she could lock the other doors, Mason entered the car.
As tension loomed over them, Taeja gulped. “Hey, guys… The weather’s so nice today.”
“Mason, come out of my car,” Liyah said through gritted teeth.
“I’m not coming out until you talk to me,” Mason hissed. “I’m tired of your pettiness.”
“I’m not being petty!”
Taeja glanced between the two of them. “I’m going outside—”
“Stay,” they said, and she sighed.
“I don’t think I—”
“Tae. Stay. Mason. Leave,” Liyah insisted.
“Yeah, stay and tell your friend to stop getting upset with me over stupid stuff,” Mason said .
Taeja sighed again. She hated being in the middle of their arguments. Sometimes being friends with a couple felt like the job of a mediator. “What happened?” she asked. “I’ll be as unbiased as I can.”
Liyah glared at Mason. “I didn’t do anything.”
Mason chuckled, the tip of his ears turning pink. “You always never do anything. It’s always me.”
“If it’s always me, why don’t you leave?”
“I’m not leaving, and you’re not going anywhere either.”
“He has a point,” Taeja agreed, and they glared at her. She forced a smile. “Guys, yelling at each other isn’t doing any good, and unu nuh waa me leave the car. Either talk things out like adults or do this another time.”
“We’ll do it another time,” Liyah rushed out, reaching for the ignition.
“Aaliyah, if you push that button, I’m done, and I mean it this time,” Mason stated, and she froze. His gaze narrowed on her as she looked at him, sighing before resting her hand on her thigh. “Talk to me, Liyah. Please .”
Feeling some of the tension lessen, Taeja said, “Can I go wait o—”
“No. Stay,” Mason said. “Listen to how your friend is being inconsiderate.”
“I’m not being inconsiderate, Mason,” Liyah countered as her voice lowered. “I’m just not ready to get married.”
“I know that, but you’re acting as if being my fiancée means I’ll drag you down the aisle by tomorrow morning. I just want you to wear my ring, so I know you’re serious about us,” Mason said gently.
“I’m serious about us.”
“You’re not because since I cheated, you changed. I know you said it’s behind us, but you still blow up on me over the simplest stuff and push me away whenever we argue. You cheated too, and you don’t see me acting like you. I’m still trying for us.”
Liyah and Taeja exchanged glances, and Taeja pursed her lips. Looking away from Taeja, Liyah faced her boyfriend. “I’m sorry. I thought you were cheating again.”
“I’m not. I want you; I love you. I stopped drinking so that you won’t have to worry about something like that happening again.”
“Then whose skirt was that?”
“My sister,” Mason answered. “If you didn’t storm out, you would’ve heard me say she slept over last night. My house is closer to the studio she’s working at today.”
“Oh…”
“Yeah. Oh .” Mason leaned back in the seat and crossed his arms. He looked at Taeja. “See what I’m talking about?”
Taeja held her hands in the air. “Leave me out of it. You know I’m not saying anything bad about our girl.”
Mason scoffed. “You said you wouldn’t take sides, Tae.”
Taeja sighed and looked at Liyah, whose head was hung low. “Mason has a point, Liyah. Yu head too easy fi chip sometimes.”
“I’m sorry,” Liyah whispered.
“It’s fine—”
“It’s not fine,” Mason stated. “Aaliyah, you’re supposed to be my safe space. I don’t want to be with you if it’s going to be the same thing over and over.”
Liyah’s head shot up, her mouth agape. Tears streamed down her face. Taeja wanted to reach over and dry Liyah’s face like Liyah would do for her, but she didn’t. Zain taught her how freeing it could be to embrace emotions.
“Yu really ago seh that to mi, Mason?” Liyah asked.
He nodded. “You’re treating me like I’m some random guy who wants you.”
“How?” Liyah asked with attitude.
“You always hold my mistakes over my head and it’s like you don’t trust me anymore. I know we come from different backgrounds, but you act like anything I give to you, I’m going to take it back from you. I’m not your dad’s brother.”
Taeja gasped. “That’s low, Mason.”
“No, he’s right,” Liyah disagreed. She dried her tears and looked at Mason. “I’m sorry.”
Mason scoffed. “Sure you are.”
Liyah’s brows furrowed. “Wow. Really? Mi seh mi sorry, and that’s all you have to say?”
He shrugged. “I heard that one too many times now. ”
Taeja glanced between the couple and outside. She wished the Earth would open and swallow her, only spitting her out after these two got done with what she knew was about to be another argument.
Liyah glared at Mason, who returned an equally harsh one. “What do you want from me, Mason MacMillan?”
“I want you to be my Mrs. MacMillan,” he said without a second thought.
“I’m going to marry you, Mason. I’m just not ready yet.”
“We’re not getting married right now, Liyah. It’s an engagement. We can walk down the aisle when we’re old and grey if that’s what you want. I just want my ring around your finger right now, so I feel more secure in this relationship.”
Liyah’s brows knitted. “You don’t feel secure?”
He shook his head. “Not since lately. You leave after every argument. Sometimes I fear you won’t come back. If you love me, wear the ring, so I know you will.”
“Sounds like yaa try trap mi friend,” Taeja said.
Mason laughed humorlessly. “I’m not trying to trap her. If leaving me makes her happy, then she’s free to go. But we know she’s more than happy with me, so that’s not going to happen. Tae, when me and Aaliyah argue and she wants her space, I always give it to her. But this is what I want for my peace of mind, and she keeps declining.”
As Liyah looked in Taeja’s direction, Taeja looked behind herself. “A wa wi a look pon?”
“I’m looking at you.” Liyah chuckled as Taeja turned back around. “Tell me what to do.”
“I can’t tell you what to do in your relationship, Liyah.”
“But I need advice.”
Taeja glanced between her friends. Mason’s jaw was clenched and his eyes were tired. Liyah chewed on her bottom lip.
Focusing on Liyah, Taeja said, “You love Mason, and he loves you, too. Even when the two of unu at each other throat like puss and dog, a unu dat a smile up with each other the next minute. So, I think you should do what makes the two of you happy. ”
Liyah pondered the words before looking at Mason. “I’ll wear the ring,” she said, and Mason sat up, his jaw unclenching while his eyes shone. “Under a few conditions.”
“Yes. Anything,” Mason said.
“I meant what I said junior year. I don’t want to get married until I have my degree and a good job. I’m hyphenating my last name when we get married. I don’t want a big wedding, and I don’t want any kids until we’re married for at least two years.”
“Done. Done. That can’t work, and done.”
“Can’t work?”
“Babe, my entire family gets married by the time we’re eighteen. Weddings are a big deal for us. It’s been like this for ages and I… I’ve been looking forward to a big wedding with you since we met.”
“A so long yaa plan fi tek mi friend offa the streets?” Taeja blurted.
Mason scoffed. “She was never on the streets.”
“I agree,” Liyah laughed, and Mason smiled at her.
Taeja smiled too, soaking in all the love they radiated. “Aww, see how easy one talk is?”
“I like make-up sex.”
“So fi that yu push the man buttons?”
“Sometimes.”
Mason sighed. “See what I’m talking about? I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”
Liyah grinned. “It’s too late to back out now because you just said you want me forever.”
“I’ve been saying that since the first time I saw you, Aaliyah,” Mason said, making Liyah’s smile widen. “Let me see your nails,” he said, and Liyah showed him them. “Come get one of my cards. When you say yes tomorrow, I want you to look your best.”
“If naa waste time was a person,” Taeja mumbled.
“I’ve waited long enough, and she’s going to make me wait a few more years to actually call her my wife. ”
Liyah smiled as she watched Mason exit the car. “Mi soon come.”
“Okay.” Taeja nodded, smiling as they walked toward the house hand-in-hand.
Then, Taeja waited in the car. By herself. For fifteen minutes until Liyah finally walked outside.
Liyah carefully settled in the driver’s seat. “Mi pussy a hot mi.”
Taeja burst out laughing. “Well done, Mason.”
“Him angle triangle mi, naa lie. Suppose yu see how the man wul mi up against the wall and grab mi throat, then tell mi fi stop ramp wid him?” Liyah fanned her face. “A God come down and hold mi tongue when mi nearly tell Mason fi breed mi.”
Taeja was laughing uncontrollably now. “Mi neva know seh Mason bad so!”
“My love for him aside, why do you think I can’t leave him? The good hood trap mi,” Liyah laughed while reversing out of the driveway. “He just showed me the ring for the first time, and it’s even prettier than he described. I’m going to be so scared to walk in public with it. What if I get robbed? It was his great-grandmother’s ring, and Mason really loved her. And now he’s giving it to me! I feel so special!”
“She died?”
Liyah nodded. “When he was in kindergarten. Some people stick with you forever, I guess.”
Taeja’s shoulders slackened. “I know what you mean…”
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Damon whispered.
Taeja laughed. “Why are you whispering?”
“I’ve never broken into anyone’s house before.”
“No, you just hack into their devices.”
“I don’t have a good comeback for that.”
Taeja smirked. “It’ll be fine. I’ve done this many times before.”
“And how many times did you hang upside down in this tree, waiting for someone to save you? ”
Taeja gasped. “ One time! Mi nuh know weh mi tell yu dat fa.”
Damon smirked. He looked from her to the window on the second floor, then he gulped hard.
“Damon.” Taeja laid her hand on his forearm. “You don’t have to do this for me if you don’t want to. I can wait until Zain’s back.”
“It’s fine.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, her voice laced with concern.
Damon nodded. “Now come climb up on my back. I’ll stay right here.”
Smiling, Taeja mounted him. She reached for the highest branch, then climbed into the tree. She looked down at Damon, whose brows were knitted. “Text me if you hear his car pull up. He’s usually back by seven,” she said, and Damon nodded.
With one last look at him, she climbed higher until she was at her bedroom window. She usually kept it cracked a little, and she was extremely thankful that Jerry hadn’t shut it. She opened the window from the outside and climbed inside her room, instantly being greeted by all her Kirone Tyke posters. Taeja blew a kiss toward one of them. “My man for life.”
Taeja tiptoed out of her room and down the hallway to Jerry’s bedroom. “Hope mi nuh see nun mi nuh supposed to see,” Taeja muttered while looking around the room.
She hadn’t been in here in ages, she almost forgot how large of a room it was. Taeja remembered waking up early on Christmas mornings and running to this room. She’d hop into the bed, and her parents would pretend she scared them.
Taeja smiled at the memory. Those were good times. If only they’d lasted longer…
She sighed. “Focus.”
She walked toward the cabinet in the furthest corner. A year after Cassedi left, Jerry moved most of his office supplies into the room. She glanced at the artwork that lined the wall toward the cabinet, mesmerized as the paintings shifted from intricate portraits of Cassedi to chaotic murals of swirling colors and unknown forms.
Arriving before the large cabinet, she opened a drawer and searched through the many files and documents until she found what she was looking for.
The family albums.
“I’m surprised he kept them…”
They were numbered by the year, so she quickly found the one when she was eleven.
She sat on the floor beside the open drawer, then opened the thick album. A bright smile painted her face when she saw the first picture. It was a New Year’s picture. There they were — all dressed in gold and white, looking elegant and sophisticated. Cassedi was on a throne, looking like royalty, while Jerry stood behind her with one hand on the back of the chair. Taeja stood beside Cassedi, smiling brightly, and showing her missing front tooth.
“I can’t believe they didn’t tell me not to smile,” Taeja laughed and skipped the page. “Ratid. Watch costume! Nobody cudn tell mi seh mi nuh look good ina the piece of wig?”
Laughing to herself, Taeja leaned her back against the cabinet. As she skipped through the pages, her heart grew heavier. This album wasn’t even a quarter full, so the last page came quickly. It was a picture of Cassedi and Jerry, smiling and looking at each other lovingly. She traced a thumb over Jerry’s smile. “He used to be so happy…”
“I was.”
Taeja’s head shot up, her eyes widening when she saw Jerry standing in the doorway. She was shocked to see him, but more than anything, she was hit by a stark realization. This man was nothing like the person in the photos. This Jerry looked older than his age.
Taeja snapped the album shut and jumped to her feet. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t be here—”
“It is fine.” Jerry dropped his briefcase in a chair before walking toward the bed while removing his jacket.
Taeja watched him, hugging the album close to her chest. She was unsure if she should stay or leave.
Jerry sat on the bed with a heavy sigh. “What are you looking for?”
“A picture of me and Cassedi. ”
Jerry tensed — so quickly Taeja almost missed it — then he relaxed. “Why?”
“Teddy took away all the pictures I had when you made me live with her. I want one now,” Taeja replied, twisting the truth.
“You are not a good liar, Taeja,” Jerry accused, and she gulped.
“I miss my mother,” she confessed. “I always felt like you weren’t telling me the truth about why she left. I deserve to know.”
“I told you the truth.”
“You didn’t!”
A raging storm grew in his tired eyes as they narrowed at her. “Watch your mouth in my house.”
“Yu cya tell mi wa fi do, Jerry! Mi nuh under yu bondage anymore. Tell me the truth,” she insisted, but he didn’t budge. Taeja frowned and lowered her voice, “ Please .”
Silence gripped the room. Taeja had to remind herself to breathe during their stare-down.
Finally, he sighed and looked away from her, focusing on his reflection on the television. “Cassedi left me for another man.”
“Yago sidung yaso and lie to mi, Jerry?” Taeja asked. “Mi ano fool. She loved you, and I know you loved her. Just like you used to love me.”
He tensed again, in and out so quickly like the flicker of a light. Then, he stood and started approaching her. Taeja stepped backward until her back hit the cabinet. She gulped, wondering if she should scream for Damon. She kept quiet while watching Jerry lower himself to the floor and flip through another album until he found the page he wanted.
“This was the best day of my life.”
Wanting a better view, she cautiously lowered herself to her knees beside him. Her lips parted when she saw what he was looking at. “That’s when I was born.”
“Yes.”
Taeja’s brows pulled together. “How can it be the best day of your life when you treat me this way?”
He looked down at her. “I am hard on you because I do not want you to be a whore like your mother,” he hissed, his eyes narrowing as her shoulders slumped. Shaking his head, he looked back to the picture, his eyes softening. “I failed you.”
“I’m not a whore…” Taeja murmured.
“You are selling yourself and you are dating two men. Is it the other guy that was here?”
Taeja swallowed the lump in her throat as she nodded. “Nothing you say will make me leave them, so don’t start.”
“Do you know what people will say about you when they realize the type of relationship you are in?”
“No one can hurt me more than you already did.”
Jerry’s eyes widened, his lips parting, but no words came out. He looked like he got the wind knocked out of him and… it shamed Taeja to admit that she was proud. She never knew it was possible to have a lawyer speechless this way.
Teddy had always made her sit and watch all of Jerry’s televised cases when she was younger. Jerry was ruthless in the courtroom, and his win rate was amongst the highest of all the criminal lawyers in this area.
And she had him stumped.
Taeja smugly smiled and looked at the picture. “I don’t believe what you said about her. No mother and wife would just get up and leave their family when they were this happy.”
Jerry cleared the shock with a shake of his head. “We were not as happy as we seemed,” he confessed, his voice holding an emotion Taeja couldn’t put a name to.
“There’s no evidence to support that claim. You’re a lawyer, you should know that,” Taeja said before opening the album in her hand to the first page. “Look at her. My mom was happy. Stop lying to make yourself look like a better person.”
Jerry seemed pleased by her words, and before Taeja could revel in the moment, he looked away. He picked up a different album. It was the marriage one. He flipped the album onto its back and took out a picture hidden in the cover. He showed it to her. “Do you believe me now?”
“Isn’t this our driver?” she asked, and he nodded. “You said he quit.”
“I was trying to protect you.”
“I-I don’t know what to say,” Taeja stuttered, staring at the picture with wide eyes.
Why were Cassedi and Romar hugging so… Taeja didn’t want to say romantically, but the lines between platonic and non-platonic were skewed.
“These are the clothes she was wearing the day she dropped me off,” Taeja said.
“Do you believe me now?” he asked as he concealed the picture in the cover.
Taeja looked at her father through teary eyes. “Yes,” she breathed out. “I’m sorry.”
Jerry gave her a small smile. “It is okay,” he said, standing. “I am going to have a shower. You can show yourself out. Your boyfriend is still in the backyard. I told him I would sue him for trespassing if he came inside.”
Too engrossed in a level-headed conversation with her father, she didn’t remember that she left Damon outside by himself. Taeja’s eyes widened. “How did—”
“I had a motion sensor installed when you started sneaking out. That is before I knew what you were doing. I wanted to be sure that you got home safely,” Jerry said, and tears broke Taeja’s resistance. Jerry watched as it rolled off her cheek and fell onto the album. He sighed before meeting her eyes. “You can keep that if you want to. I miss her sometimes, too.”