39
Ashlynn
Tailwhip (Album V) – Men I Trust
N eha was right. She woke up with a massive hangover, even though I thought she had sobered up enough. She was still able to get out of bed and come down into the village to find a spa for a massage while Cora and I go riding for the day.
We get to the lifts right as they open for the day at 8:30 AM. We got a beautiful clear day, which Cora calls a Bluebird Day, which is a term for a clear day after a storm where the sun is bright. I am by no means as good at snowboarding like Cora, but I am good enough to hang with her and make it down the mountains. I stay clear away from the park section that Cora likes to ride through every couple runs we do. Every time we have gotten to the bottom, she keeps daring me to try just one little baby jump and to that I tell her, “HELL NO!”
I have caught enough edges today and kissed enough snow already. Cora just laughs at me. “Seriously, they are not as scary as they seem. I bet you would be just fine!”
I shake my head to the point I get a bit dizzy. We have been riding all morning and stop to get some lunch. We meet Neha, who is looking a little more alive after her massage. She is waiting at a table for us. “Hey! How was the massage? You’re looking a bit more lively now!” I tease her.
She laughs at me. “Yeah, I feel a bit better. How is the snow?”
Cora and I say it at the same time. “Awesome!”
As we are all eating our lunch, my facial expression changes the moment I see Brock walk through the door. Neha and Cora have their backs to the door, so they notice the disdain all over my face. “What is up your ass all of a sudden, Ash?”
I just lift my chin in his direction. Neha turns slightly and then back around. “Well shit, there goes my good mood.”
Brock stops right at our table. “Cora, can I talk to you outside, NOW?!”
I can see her body go tense; that’s when Neha’s loud no filter mouth comes in handy. “Actually Brock, we are still eating, so you can wait.”
Cora looks over at Neha with wide eyes, and Brock lets out a cocky laugh. “Neha, I see you still haven’t figured out how to shut that mouth of yours up.”
Smirking right back, Neha says, “NOPE and I don’t plan to either!”
Brock doesn’t like the push back he is getting from Neha and finally turns and walks out. “He is such an asshole. When does he leave again?” I ask Cora.
“I think later today. My dad and I talked this morning before you two were awake. We are doing everything while he is out of town and we are also putting a restraining order in place. He is going to go ballistic. I honestly am a bit scared.”
I look out the window where Brock is standing just staring at Cora. “The restraining order is a good idea. This will be the best thing to do,” I tell Cora.
After we finish our lunch, Neha and I stand outside to keep an eye on Cora, even though we know Brock isn’t going to do anything in a public place.
That’s when Neha turns to me. “So, you want to tell me about you and Cora’s brother? How did I not know about that?”
I smile over at Neha. “I didn’t think you caught on to any of that. I will tell you later, I promise.”
Neha gives me the side eye. “I am holding you to that! Also, how would you feel about cooking us a taco bar tonight? You cook them the best!”
I just laugh at Neha. “I guess so; I am assuming you also want fresh salsa and guacamole?”
Throwing her hands up, she says, “Is there any better kind?!”
Finally, Brock leaves Cora. As she is walking back to us, I can see the tension leaving her the further away she gets from him. “You, okay?” I ask her.
“Yeah, I am good. Even more so knowing the slap in the face he is about to get! Let’s go do a few more runs and call it a day!”
We turn to Neha and all of us decide to meet in the same spot once Cora and I finish up. Before heading back to the lifts, Neha tells Cora, “Prepare for Taco bar tonight, told you I could talk her into making them!”
Cora’s eyes go wide, “YES!!!”
As we make our final run of the day, I reluctantly let Cora convince me to attempt my first jump on a snowboard. I am terrified, mainly because I don’t want to fall on the landing and break something. Cora and I are standing near a smaller jump and off to the side, so we are not in anyone’s way. She is telling me exactly what to do, when out of nowhere, we are both covered in snow.
I look at Cora. “Are you freaking kidding me?”
I turn to the asshole, who just gave me a snow shower, getting ready to tell him off, when I hear his voice. “Hey Peanut!”
I nearly lose my balance and fall over. “Avan.”
He smiles wide, showing me his dimples. My body has a mind of its own at the moment because I throw my arms around his waist in a tight hug. Avan wraps his arms around me and lifts me off the snow, board, and all. “Fuck, Ashlynn. I can’t believe you are here, right in front of me.”
He puts me back down, and I am holding onto his forearms. “What are you doing here? I thought you were leaving for Austria?”
He is still smiling at me. “I leave early tomorrow morning; I knew you all would be up on the slopes. Though, I never expected to find you in the park section.”
I throw my head back, letting out a laugh. “Yeah, Cor talked me into doing a jump.”
At that time, he and Cora descend the slope, so I can take on this jump. So, here goes nothing!
Once I see Cora and Avan off to the side, I am just standing up with my board, ready to take this on. I try to tell myself; you are a badass; you can do this. I let out my breath and start toward the jump. I hit it with my eyes closed. I open them once I come down on my landing. To my surprise, I stick, but once I look over at Avan and Cora, I face plant. I am laughing so hard at myself when I hear them stop next to me, and Cora is cracking up as well. Avan seems more concerned, “P, are you okay? Does anything feel broken?”
I can’t stop laughing. I finally catch my breath enough to say, “I landed it!”
Avan grabs my hands and helps me up. “Can I ride with you all down to the bottom?” he asks us. Like Cora and I own this resort, he can do what he wants!
“Of course, you can!” I tell him. After that, all three of us are off. Those two are much faster than I am, not to mention my hair is all over the place from my jump and blocking my eyes a bit.
We make it down to the bottom right as the last lift of the day heads up. I step out of my bindings and place my board on the rack. I turn toward Avan, who is barreling toward me. He grabs the collar of my jacket and slams me into his rock-hard chest, nearly knocking the wind out of me. I melt into his embrace. Once Avan lets me go, I pull my goggles off, and my hair is a mess! I have strains sticking out all over. Avan grabs my face between his hands and gently moves my hair out of the way. He moves his thumb over the end of my scar on my cheek and I can tell instantly when his demeanor changes. That’s also when I realize Cora didn’t tell him what happened. I pull my beanie all the way off so he can see the full extent of it. Starting from the center of my right eyebrow, down past my eye, and the turn onto my cheek. Still holding onto my face, he looks at me with a serious look. “What the hell happened to you, Ashlynn?”
I give him a small smile. “It’s a long story, Avan. I’d rather not get into that.”
He nudges my chin, so I am looking up at him. “Lucky for you, I have all night to hear it.” Charming as always!
Avan follows us back to the cabin. I have been quiet the whole ride back. It’s like all the emotions came to the forefront the moment I heard his voice. I melted in his arms the minute they wrapped around me, just like I did when we dated!
Cora breaks me out of my head. “So, I honestly didn’t know Avan was going to be there. Also, I am sorry I never told him about the accident.”
I keep my stare straight out the windshield. “It’s okay Cora, I am still so…I don’t know what I am honestly after seeing him again!”
I catch the small smile on Cora’s face. “If you want to hang out with him tonight to catch up before he leaves, that’s fine. I don’t care. I know you both have some unresolved feelings.”
That’s when I look over at Cora. “I am here to visit with you, Cor. Not Avan, though seeing him was a bonus.”
Once we pull into the garage at the cabin, Avan helps us unload all our gear and we introduce him to Neha. Avan still lived at home when Neha started going to school with us but was also gone a lot since he was two years older than us. They managed to never cross paths somehow, but that was also a bad time in Neha’s life, where she was sent to live with her grandma out in Montana, until the start of senior year. By then, the Hendrix family moved out of state.
Once we all go inside, Avan grabs my hand and walks back to his room and slams the door behind us. The slam makes me jump and he notices that. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to slam it like that.”
I am quiet because I am not sure what to expect at this moment. I go and sit on the edge of the bed and look down at the floor. I want to look into his dark eyes, but I know his focus will go to my scar. He kneels down in front of me. “P, look at me, please.”
I shake my head no and cover my face with my hands. To my surprise, I actually start crying, and I really don’t know why. I don’t know if it’s happiness over seeing Avan after so long or because sometimes, I feel ugly with this stupid scar and am embarrassed by it. Avan peels my hands away. “Please, Ashlynn.”
I compose myself and look at him; his dark eyes clash with my hazel eyes. “Hi!” I say to him, which makes him smile, showing off those dimples again.
“Hi, peanut! I know I don’t have a right to ask, but what happened? How did this happen?” As he says this, he traces down the side of my face along my scar.
“Avan, I don’t want to waste time telling you what happened if you are only going to be here until tomorrow morning.”
I lean my forehead down to his. “Can we catch up tonight, then?” Avan asks me.
I smile at him, “Yes, after I hang out with the girls first.”
Letting out a chuckle, he says, “Lucky for you, I don’t mind waiting.”
Avan leaves the room shortly after, so I can shower and go get dinner cooking.
As I am cooking, I noticed Avan has made himself scarce. As I am adding the finishing touches on everything, Cora and Neha get the table set and we sit down for dinner. “Is your brother not eating with us?” Neha asks Cora.
Cora just shrugs her shoulders, and I don’t know either.
“We can save him some food.” I tell Neha.
We are all quiet while we stuff our faces with tacos, chips, salsa, and guacamole!
“I think I want to go in the hot tub tonight. I am sore already from riding!” I tell the girls.
“Oh, yeah! Let’s do the hot tub. Hot chocolate with Kahlua? Or we can do coffee and baileys, too!” Neha adds in.
“For you waking up with a hangover this morning, I am surprised you would want to drink tonight!” Cora tells Neha.
Waving her hand, Neha says, “I feel good now that my belly is full of good homemade food!”
We clean up, all change into our bathing suits, and get into the hot tub. The warm water instantly feels good on my sore muscles.
I have my head leaned back on the edge of the hot tub with my eyes closed, relaxing when Neha breaks the enjoyable silence. “Okay, I have waited long enough. Spill everything about you and Avan.”
I keep my head back and my eyes closed while I tell Neha everything about Avan and me. I start from when the Hendrix family first moved to Colorado Springs. Cora and I were in first grade, Avan was in fourth. So, naturally, he picked on me as Cora’s friend, but middle school started, and things changed between us. He would always walk me home every day or night, whenever I left. I also let Neha know how my mom never really liked Avan, due to the age difference, which to me wasn’t a big deal. It was only for two years. “The summer after sophomore year was when he finally asked me on a date, and after that, we were inseparable.”
I finally look over at Neha and Cora. “So, what happened then? Why did you all break up and how did I not even know about you all?”
I take a deep breath because I haven’t thought of this in a long time, and it is bringing up emotions I pushed way down.
I'm hesitating to tell her, but I push forward, anyway. “We had to keep it a secret. Only the Hendrix family knew. They didn’t care about us dating, but my mom did.”
That’s when Cora adds in, “Yeah, my mom and dad seriously hoped Ashlynn would be their daughter-in-law; that’s how much we all love her!”
I laugh at that because I forgot the Hendrix family ever told me that.
“Why do I have a bad feeling about this?” Neha asks.
I look at her. “Your feelings are not wrong. Like I said Avan, and I were inseparable. Cora let me use her as an excuse really to see Avan, but I still hung out with her just as much. So, I guess at first my mom didn’t question anything.”
I have Neha’s full attention; she looks entranced with this story of my first love. “So, we had to hide our relationship, and we did until the summer when it all blew up in our faces. Pictures, gifts, anything from Avan had to be hidden.” I am starting to get teary-eyed. “One day shortly after summer break started after junior year for us, we were out somewhere, I don’t remember, but we obviously were not being careful or just started getting careless, because we were holding hands and kissing–showing affection like a young couple.” I take a deep breath and close my eyes; I can feel a tear escape and feel Neha grab my hand.
I wipe my tears. “That night I was back at the Hendrix house; I think we were just playing Mario Kart or some game when my mom called me. She was just yelling at me, telling me to get my ass home. So, as usual, Avan walked me home like he always did. My mom came charging outside, telling him to get the hell away from me.”
Now I feel anger brewing thinking about that night. “I tried to calm her down, saying he was just walking me home. She grabbed my arm and dragged me inside the house. As soon as we were in the living room, my heart sank, Neha, because every picture I had of Avan and me was out on the coffee table. Pictures I had hidden–that she searched my room for.”
I stop for a minute because this is a reason my mom and I don’t have much of a relationship when Neha says, “I don’t like where this is going, but I knew your mom was mean. I think I am about to really learn how mean, aren’t I?”
I nod my head at Neha’s question. “I asked her why she had my pictures. She just shook her head at me, saying ‘Ashlynn Skylar Black, you will never see that boy again. He only has and wants one thing from you, and I am sure you already gave it to him.’” Neha and Cora both have wide eyes–Cora hasn’t heard any of this either. “After that, I started to grab the pictures and told her she just didn’t know Avan and he wasn’t like that. She ripped the photos out of my hand and threw them all into the fire.” That opens the dam. I thought I did a good job blocking that out, but I guess when asked about it, everything is right there like it was that night. “So, I have nothing of Avan anymore, Neha. That’s why I never talked about it and to this day, I still have no idea how she even found out. About a month later, Mr. Hendrix was transferred for his job, and I never saw Avan again, until today.”
We are all quiet after I finish. I am happy Neha knows that now. She now knows why I hold on to things and people I love so hard and fight for what I want. I had one taken away from me. “I always knew your mom was mean, but damn. That’s not right. To burn all your memories. What the hell. Now I understand why you were so hellbent on moving when you turned eighteen.” Neha says out of nowhere.
I lean my head back and look up at the stars and blow out a breath and watch it in the cold air. “Then you met Anthony.”
I look over at Cora. “What?”
She repeats what she just said. “Then you met Anthony, senior year. I remember you telling me about him.”
I bite my lip and smile. “Then I met Anthony, and I wasn’t prepared for Anthony Ville. He knocked me on my ass and turned my world upside down.”
I never thought I would find love like the way I found it with Avan, but when Anthony came into my life, he showed me that love had no boundaries and he loved with such an intensity that has never been matched.