Chapter Four
Maya
The fresh scent of dew lingered in the air as Maya stepped off the train. Surrounded by rolling hills, the walk to Millton University beat most people’s commutes. Maya’s gaze roamed over the last of the colourful wildflowers, trying to ignore the knots tightening in her stomach with the anticipation of seeing Carly. They’d texted a little since she’d moved, but it wasn’t the same.
Summer was finally over, but Maya wasn’t sad about it. She just wanted to get a bit of normality back—back into her friends and football—before her student years were snatched away forever.
Jamie’s face flashed into her mind. That smug smirk. Her teasing tone. The unusual awkwardness at the dinner table. No doubt she was going to have to face her at football trials this afternoon, but she’d deal with her later.
She pushed thoughts of Jamie to the back of her mind as she strolled through the campus grounds, breathing in the fresh air and admiring the red brickwork buildings. Students were already lounging around on the grass square, drinking coffees and chatting under the huge oak trees.
She dodged a few cyclists, smiled politely at a few familiar faces, and jogged up the main steps to the sports building, her pastel pink shirt fluttering as she pushed through the doors and headed to the common room. Carly usually hung out there before lectures started. Hannah and Maddie too—even though they didn’t often see eye to eye with Carly.
The purple-and-black square sofas were much comfier than they looked, granted, but the space was small, and there was no hiding from anyone. Which meant that when Maya walked in and couldn’t see Carly, her heart sank into the soles of her trainers.
Hannah jumped up immediately, though, pushing aside her revision folders to give her a hug. Maya’s disappointment quickly eased.
“It feels so long since I’ve seen you!” Hannah greeted her in her soft Glaswegian accent, which always seemed more prominent whenever they’d spent time apart. She squeezed her harder, Maya’s arms trapped by her sides.
“I missed you too, Han.”
“You better have.” She pulled back to give her a once over, her auburn hair already coming loose from its bun despite the day only just starting. “How’s your grandpa doing?”
“He’s…the same, really. It’s…”
Hannah shook her head, dislodging more stray hairs around her freckled face. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up straightaway.” She glanced at her watch and collapsed back into the sofa. “We’ve got some time before our Biomechanics lecture. Tell me about your summer.”
Maya caught her up on her mum and grandma, leaving out a lot of the details about her grandpa. She hated the sympathy that came with it. There was nothing anybody could say to make it better, anyway. When she told Hannah about Jamie, her friend’s brown eyes widened. Hannah loved to know the latest gossip and was always filling Maya in on her own netball drama.
Hannah leaned in closer once she’d finished. “So…do you think she’s going to be here today, then?” Her eyebrows bounced. “Do you really think she’d have the nerve to show up at football?”
Maya snorted. “That woman’s got bottles of the stuff. Apparently, she’s trying to take my role of captain.” Even the mention of it made her jaw clench.
Hannah let out a soft laugh. “Women’s football, eh? So much drama and you’ve literally not even started this season yet.”
“Tell me about it.”
Hannah filled her in about the latest romances on the netball team and then her summer in Scotland as they walked to their lecture. Her aunty Fiona had insisted on staying with them for three weeks, bringing all five of her cats with her.
“I love her,” Hannah said, “but every night one of the cats woke me up pawing at my face. And they ate one of my Twinkies.”
Since her dad had brought her some back from a business trip seven years ago, Hannah had become obsessed with the American cakes and hoarded them so she’d never have to go through another Twinkie drought. Maya could just imagine the carnage when Hannah realised one of the felines had broken into her prized stash. Her temper had no rival. Especially regarding food.
Before Maya knew it, she was back in the safe routine of university. She caught up with classmates, took notes in her Sports Science lecture, and successfully avoided eye contact with their intimidating professor, Mr Dricken. She didn’t know whether it was his patchy facial hair or his receding hairline, but something always had his knickers in a twist.
When the bell rang for lunch, Maya spotted someone with long blonde hair heading towards the cafeteria. Carly. Her heart skipped involuntarily as she took in her long dancer’s legs in her light blue denim trousers .
Hannah followed her gaze and shot her a sympathetic look. “I’m guessing from those puppy dog eyes that you still haven’t told her how you feel?”
“I’m not a puppy dog. She’s just…”
“The classic queer fantasy.”
Heat prickled Maya’s neck. “She’s more than that, Han. I don’t wanna fuck it up.”
Hannah wasn’t shy about her opinions on Carly. Thankfully, today, she bit her tongue and just huffed instead.
Hannah and Maddie were the only people who knew about Maya’s hopeless crush. Maya didn’t usually get this way over women. Being openly gay and on the football team meant women weren’t shy about wanting to get to know her—and Maya didn’t mind, either. It was a good distraction. Something to keep her occupied…but her heart wasn’t in it.
“I’m meeting Maddie in the common room for lunch. Are you coming or…” Hannah’s gaze lingered over Maya’s shoulder, where Carly had disappeared.
She hated this part. The guilt that came with having two friendship groups. “I should go say hi to her. I haven’t seen her since she moved.”
Hannah might have bitten her tongue, but her eyes still shone with disappointment. “Alright. I’ll see you after for the practical, then.” She gave her a small smile before she left, her oversized tote bag clunking against her side as she went.
Maya blew out a breath. She hated feeling she was letting Hannah down, but she was sure she’d understand if she felt this way about someone. Hannah was always complaining about being single.
She picked up her bag and headed towards the cafeteria, heart squeezing when Carly looked up from one of the wooden benches. Carly’s wavy hair parted in the middle, framing her round face, her cat-like eyes snaring Maya as she strolled towards her. Carly’s pink lipstick mouth stretched into a smile.
She’s happy to see me.
Maya didn’t want to read too much into it, but she couldn’t help the way her stomach flip-flopped.
But when neither Carly nor Zeek stood to greet her, the excitement soured. Maya quickly masked it, taking an empty seat next to Zeek. He had a plateful of chunky chips already and was tearing open a tomato-sauce sachet with his teeth. Maya pinched a chip from his pile, and he scowled at her, swatting her hand away as Carly did the same.
Carly and Maya shared a glance that reawakened the butterflies.
Zeek’s dark eyes narrowed. “I hate you guys.” He swirled another chip in tomato sauce. “So, how was everyone’s summer?”
Carly sighed, fanning her blonde fringe with her expelled breath. “Really, Zeek, not you too. I must have answered the same question fifty times.” She reached for another chip, but Zeek pulled his plate away.
“Get your own. The line is still small.” Zeek tried his best to sound authoritative, but he had a naturally high-pitched voice that he couldn’t make sound scary, even when he tried. His sleeves were rolled up, showing off his dark, muscular arms. He barricaded them around his chips, blocking out any thieving fingers. “I’m so sorry for making conversation.”
“You’re asking this like we haven’t seen each other for eight weeks.” Carly laughed. “We went to the cinema on Saturday.”
Saturday? Maya looked down at the table, tracing the initials that had been carved into the wood. It hurt that they’d been doing things without her, but she should’ve been used to that by now. Since Carly and Zeek met in their first year, it felt like she was slowly being phased out of Carly’s life. They rarely texted each other, hardly saw each other between football and dancing, and now Carly had moved away. Sometimes Maya wondered if they would have stayed friends at all if they hadn’t lived opposite each other. Hannah certainly doubted it. Maddie would just shrug and tell Maya to do what made her happy. Honestly, Maya wasn’t sure what exactly that was. Her feelings for Carly were complicated.
Zeek nudged her with his foot. “What about you? Good summer?”
Jamie Mellor’s smug face jumped into her mind. She blinked it away. “It was fine, thanks.”
“Fine?” Carly leaned over to steal another chip from Zeek’s plate. “I thought you were bedridden with sadness from me leaving.” She laughed .
“Yeah, you wish.” It was easy to bat away the comment, even if it did strike a little close to home. Maya took a swig of her water, catching Carly’s eye. There was a hint of something there. She could swear it wasn’t just in her head; she’d been blessed with gaydar, after all.
“Well, if any of you scroungers care, I am still single and alone, and looking for Mr Right.” Zeek chewed, waiting until he’d swallowed before continuing, “There are no decent guys in this place.”
“Tell me about it,” Carly said.
Maya tried to ignore the way her throat tightened at the thought of seeing Carly with someone. Every time the subject of dating was mentioned, she wanted to throw herself headfirst into the large industrial bins out back.
Zeek and Carly laughed at something, and she joined in a second too late, her mind preoccupied with scenarios in which Carly was getting wed to a handsome six-foot basketball player, while she watched from the aisle in tears. She pushed those ridiculous thoughts away, and her eyes drifted over the cafeteria, needing distraction. A group of guys shrieked with laughter, gathered around a video on one of their phones.
She skipped past them and spotted Jamie sitting at the back of the hall with her headphones in. She was bobbing her head to the music, eyes pinned to her phone screen. Maya wondered how her first day was going. A part of her felt guilty seeing her sitting alone.
It’s not your problem, Maya.
And yet, her eyes found themselves gravitating back towards her, lingering for a moment too long.
* * *
Maya knew Jamie would show up to football practice, so when she sauntered into the changing room at the end of the day, she was prepared. What she wasn’t prepared for was Jamie taking the seat next to her on the bench.
“Hey.” She dumped her grey backpack by her feet, whistling a tune.
“Hello.” Maya tried to mirror the same nonchalance, but the sound she made resembled more of a grunt.
“You seem to be in another delightful mood.”
Maya’s gaze bounced up to hers, to find Jamie smirking. “I wasn’t aware I needed to pander to your presence.”
“You don’t. But I thought we were friends?”
“We’re not friends.”
Jamie grinned. “Well, I’d at least expect a warm welcome from the captain.”
The mention made Maya narrow her eyes, but she was determined not to let Jamie get to her. She’d have to do better than that to rattle her.
The only other people in the changing room were two girls from the year below. They were chatting among themselves, unaware of the potential disaster about to unfold .
Maya eased out of her shoes and unpacked her training kit, placing her top and shorts in a neat pile. She felt Jamie watching her, and then she actually started to whistle to herself again.
Who actually whistles? Could she get any more annoying?
“Can you stop whistling?” Maya huffed.
Jamie finished the end of her tune and laughed.
The sound made something inside Maya’s chest pull taut, threatening to break. “And why are you here?” she asked. “There are plenty of other places for you to get changed.”
“Relax, Maya. What is your problem, anyway?” Jamie stood and began unbuttoning her jeans, and she looked away. “You should be happy.”
Happy? Maya bit her tongue, then let out a short sigh. Truthfully, she was in her head about lunch with Carly. The day hadn’t quite lived up to her expectations, and something felt strange. Taking her frustrations out on Jamie was easier than dealing with that. Remembering Jamie’s odd reaction at the dinner table, she eyed her.
“I’m just confused…about why you’re here.” She shrugged off her own top, replacing it with the white one from her pile.
“Well, it’s trials for the football team, so I thought, why not?”
Maya clenched her jaw. “Not here here. Like at this university here.”
More people began to fill the room, taking up the empty benches. She nodded a greeting at some of her teammates as they entered.
“Starburst?” Jamie asked.
Maya glanced down at the bag in her hand before looking back at her with derision. She’d rather eat old chewing gum from under the locker benches than take something from her.
“Suit yourself, grumpy.” She tucked the bag away and straightened up, ruffling her short blonde hair. Maya’s eyes were drawn to the half-sleeve on her forearm, but she quickly glanced away. The last thing she wanted was Jamie thinking she was interested in her.
“Are you not going to answer me?” Maya pressed.
“I don’t owe you any explanation.”
“Of course you do. You’re a Harrier, for fuck’s sake.” That comment caused a few of her teammates to turn their heads. “You can’t just waltz in here and take over.”
Jamie laughed. “I don’t want to take over. Relax. I’m just here to play football. Believe me.” When Maya shot her a look, she blew out a breath, letting another laugh pass her lips. “Look, I told you already. My folks moved. This university is closer. You can retire your detective skills.”
I’m not buying it. Maya pressed her lips together. “You have a car.”
“Observant.”
“Why not just drive there?”
The corners of Jamie’s mouth quirked in a way that made Maya want to punch it off her face. “Do I really bother you that much?”
The direct question threw her. She waited a moment, pondering whether Jamie wanted her to answer honestly or if the question were meant to be rhetorical. Surely she knew how irritating she was?
The silence between them was replaced by the chatter around the changing room.
Maya held Jamie’s stare. “You don’t bother me,” she said, crossing her hands in her lap. People like Jamie revelled in the attention. They wanted a reaction, and she didn’t want to give her the satisfaction. She needed to focus on what was important.
“I wish I could say the same.” Now fully changed, Jamie leaned her head back against the white walls, squinting under the bright lighting. Maya did a double take at the tight red T-shirt covering her shoulders, thinking for a second she’d brought a Harriers top to trial in. Even Jamie would surely have reservations about wearing that in a sea of Millton players. It’d be like bleeding out in shark-infested waters, just asking to be eaten alive.
“Excuse me?”
Jamie laughed, shaking her head. “It’s nice to see you’re still so easy to wind up, Skip. Comforting, really.”
“Don’t call me that. I’m not your captain.” Maya let out a frustrated sigh. “And don’t even think about challenging me for it, either.”
“Are your ears clogged? I don’t want to be captain. ”
Memories of Jamie gathering the Harriers like troops flashed before her eyelids. Maya found her statement hard to believe. Jamie had always been vocal and commanding on the field, revelling in the nuisance she created and leading by that example.
“Whatever,” Maya said. “Just wait ’til everyone finds out you’re a Harrier.”
“I’m sure they already know.”
“What, you really think everyone knows who you are? Like you’re some sort of celebrity?”
“It’s no secret we’ve beaten you every year…So, yeah.” Jamie smiled, and rage simmered in Maya’s gut, as she leaned forward. “And thank you for making that so easy.”
Luckily for Jamie, Coach Carmichael burst through the doors. Otherwise she’d have a Maya-shaped fist in her face.
“Come on then, you lot! Out on the field in two minutes. Grab the balls and the cones.” Her dark eyes rested on Maya. “Thomas, lead the warm-up,” she told her. “Now, go!”
The room jumped to attention, grabbing their boots and water bottles and flying out the door. Before Maya could give Jamie a piece of her mind, she was already gone, winking at her and disappearing into the crowd of departing women.
* * *
The smell of freshly cut grass filled the air as Maya sprinted across the field, the rhythmic clacking of boots pounding the turf. Football trials were held at the start of every new school year. The places on the team mostly stayed the same, give or take a few of the first and second years. Despite this, Coach Carmichael would make you believe you were trialling for Manchester City, the way she spoke about the pride and the responsibility of representing Millton University. This passion and borderline obsession seemed to amuse Jamie.
Maya found herself watching her, assessing how she was reacting to the experience and to the rest of the team. It annoyed her that she’d been accepted with open arms. She was a Harrier.
Why am I the only one who cares?
Admittedly, Maya was competitive. Getting so close to the title and losing each time to the Harriers—to Jamie—did make her feel a little bit unhinged. Millton University had certain expectations. It was a university of winners. The best coaches and, supposedly, the best players. It was Maya’s responsibility as captain to make sure the team lived up to those expectations. Winning the championship would not only be amazing for her job prospects, but it would prove her point. She was good enough. All the fights with her mum would have been worth it.
An hour later, sweaty and red in the dipping sun, Coach blew outrageously long on her whistle, her cheeks puffing up like a hamster’s. They trotted into the changing rooms, and once everyone was inside, she let the door close with a bang.
“Bloody fantastic effort today, everyone!” She blocked the archway with her broad shoulders, placing her hands on her hips. Her tracksuit bottoms were a little too tight and strained with every movement, threatening to split the fabric. “I’m delighted to see so many familiar faces, and a couple of newbies. This is going to be a great competitive season. I can feel it in my toes.”
She spun, her trainers squeaking across the floor. “Binta, great to see you back to fitness after that nasty injury. Careful with that left foot, though. We’ll work on it some more next week.” She winked and spun back around, this time to face Jamie. “And you, the little wild card. The lucky dip. Good to have you here. Something tells me with your two feet on the team, we’re gonna have a lot more bloody goals on the board.”
“But what about our formation?” Maya interjected. “The way Jamie plays doesn’t fit that.”
“It’s time to shake things up, Thomas.” Coach eyed her knowingly. “Make sure Mellor feels welcome.”
Jamie beamed. “Thanks, Coach.” She cast a smile Maya’s way, but Maya looked down at her boots. Even Carmichael didn’t have a problem with her? The world had gone mad.
Maya knew on a sensible level that having Jamie on their side was a good thing. She’d been the league’s top scorer two years in a row—but did it have to be Jamie who helped them win the championship? Jamie, really ?
Maya couldn’t trust her as far as she could throw her. Even if Jamie wasn’t bothered about taking Maya’s captaincy, how did they know she wasn’t just going to relay information back to the Harriers? She didn’t want Jamie on her team; she wanted to beat her. She wanted to see the look on her face when they lifted the trophy and make her eat her own damn words. She didn’t want to rely on Jamie for anything.
Coach heaved in a deep breath. “Right! Get changed, you bloody ragamuffins, and meet in the hall to discuss this year’s fixtures. Look alive!” And with that, she was gone, the door swinging shut behind her as her clunking footsteps disappeared.
“So, Skip.” Jamie turned to her, raising her eyebrows and bumping her with her shoulder. “Seems like we’ll be spending some time together.”
Maya didn’t have the energy to pull her on the nickname she’d continued to give her all through practice. Or to question the truth behind her statement. For the first time since meeting her, Jamie Mellor might just have a point. Not only were they going to spend more time together, they were going to be teammates.
Maya wasn’t sure which part frightened her more.