Chapter Five
Maya
The first two weeks back at university had exhausted her. It was strange how lying around moping all summer hadn’t exactly prepared Maya for her final year exams. If her phone hadn’t buzzed, though, she would’ve happily spent all Sunday doing the exact same thing.
When Carly’s name lit up her phone, Maya’s heart skipped.
Fancy a drink at the Globe?
She glanced at Zeek’s thumbs-up reply and sighed. So much for a private invite. Lazy afternoons spent laughing with Carly and making future plans seemed long forgotten now, along with their dream trip around Europe. Carly’s eyes had lit up when they’d discussed driving through Switzerland and trying every variation of Swiss cheese, learning different languages, and watching the sunsets. Maybe now she’d prefer to go with Zeek.
Maya pushed those thoughts away, replied with a yes, and rolled out of bed to get ready.
The Globe was one of the student pubs on campus. A place where everyone and anyone was welcome as long as you didn’t mind sticky tables and slippy floors. Flags of all colours lined the ceilings and walls, creating a world tapestry of cheap polyester that featured in many of Maya’s drunken memories. Maya was surprised when Carly suggested it. The lively drunks and crumbling furniture were a far cry from the quirky coffee shops Carly frequented—but the beer was cheap, and the pool table was free, so she wasn’t going to complain.
They took a seat at the back, away from the thick smell of fried onions emanating from the kitchen. Carly and Zeek discussed his latest matches on Tinder. They pushed the occasional topless photo Maya’s way, and she nodded and smiled as enthusiastically as she could. They both knew her preferences, so why they kept insisting on her opinion was beyond her. Looking at each hairless torso was the equivalent of a long, cool shower.
“Look at him! Steve. Oh, Steve.” Zeek slid the phone back over, and Maya didn’t miss how Carly’s eyes grew wide. She looked away, watching a tall blond lean over the pool table, line up his shot, and miss by an embarrassingly wide margin. His friends erupted into laughter.
“Jesus. Look at the size of his arms,” Carly said, still absorbed in the photo.
“That’s nothing,” Zeek insisted. “Wait ’til you see the size of this.”
“Zeek! Gross!” Carly pushed herself away from him and into Maya, nearly knocking her off her seat. The sweet, flowery smell of her perfume invaded her nostrils as Carly shuffled her chair closer, so their legs brushed.
Maya couldn’t stop the tingles spreading across her skin. Was Carly aware of the effect she had on her? Hannah always said she should be honest with Carly and tell her how she felt. “How are you ever gonna know the answer if you never ask?”
She had a point. But once the words were out there, Maya couldn’t take them back. What if it made their whole relationship uncomfortable because Carly didn’t reciprocate her feelings? So much had changed already.
The truth was, she got scared. The idea of being so vulnerable made her shiver. It was safer to stay on this side of her feelings, even if that meant getting unintentionally hurt. She had her methods for working out her frustrations. Casual hook-ups occupied her body when her heart was somewhere else. It didn’t always work, though. Sometimes it made things worse .
Zeek tilted his head at the phone screen, and after a few seconds, Carly pawed it out of his hand.
“Right, that’s enough Tinder talk for one day. We’re supposed to be socialising.”
Thank god.
Carly flipped the phone screen down on the table. Zeek narrowed his eyes but didn’t protest.
Maya let out a breath. She’d hoped spending time with Carly would make her feel better, help them feel closer, but it was only reminding her just how far apart they were.
As she was about to change the subject, Carly nudged her leg. “Hey. Isn’t that the new girl you were talking about?”
Maya followed her gaze and spotted Jamie leaning against the glass of a grabber machine in the corner. The metal claw bobbed through the air as she fiddled with the controls. Red-and-yellow pinstriped trousers hugged her muscular legs, paired with a white T-shirt that showed off her arm tattoos.
“Jamie, you mean?” Maya asked, turning back to the group.
“Is that Leah Calder with her?” Zeek said, between sips of his cider. “Damn, she’s not wasting any time in going for the Millton girls.”
Maya’s gaze moved to Leah, one of the wingers on their team. It was strange to see her blonde hair fanned out behind her and not in the signature thick braid snaked over her shoulder. She felt a sting of betrayal seeing them together, even though she knew that was stupid. Jamie was on their team now; she had to get used to it.
Jamie swept her hand through her head of curls and laughed at something. The mechanical claw barely grazed a plump Yoshi toy and returned to its starting point, singing under flashing lights to try again. Leah pounded against the glass, and Jamie laid a comforting arm around her shoulder.
Maya wanted to roll her eyes. Of course, Jamie would have Leah eating out the palm of her hand already; she always seemed the type to land right on her feet.
Carly laughed. “Hardly surprising that she’s a fast mover, though, is it? She’s like…a super dyke.”
Chills pricked up Maya’s spine, and her gaze snapped to Carly, but she was still laughing too much with Zeek to notice.
“Super dyke?” he said. “That sounds like a cool superhero.”
Carly giggled. “And what’s the superpower?”
“Eating pus—”
“Don’t speak about her like that,” Maya snapped, surprising herself. She was used to staying quiet to blend in with the two of them; it was usually easier that way.
They turned to look at her. Zeek raised a dark eyebrow, and Carly was on the verge of laughter again, her red lips pursed together.
“It’s not funny.” Maya suddenly wished she’d never left the comfort of her bedroom. She took a long swig of her beer to stop her from saying something else .
“We’re only joking, ya know, Maya.” Zeek held his palms up in mock surrender. “Besides, I’m gay, so I’m allowed to say it.”
Carly nodded, still trying her best not to laugh.
“That’s not how it works, Zeek. Don’t be a dick.”
Maybe Hannah was right about other things too—all these two did was gossip about other people. It grated on her, and she didn’t like the feeling.
Do they talk about me when I’m not here as well? Make fun of my indifferent responses to the parade of Tinder profiles? Laugh about my unrequited crush on Carly?
Maybe she needed to face facts: she and Carly just weren’t compatible. They’d outgrown each other.
“I’m heading to the bar.” Maya finished her drink and left without saying anything else.
The Globe had filled with people since they’d arrived, and she had to sidestep the other students as they shuffled past with their glasses. A huge cheer erupted from the pool table, followed by deafening laughter.
At least some people were having a good time.
She leaned on the sticky bar, not caring about the mess it’d make of her shirt. She was determined to have a good time too, and the good time started with some more drinks—and hopefully ended with staying in someone else’s bed.
There was a pattern with Carly-related incidents and Maya craving a hook-up. Fucking away the pain had seemed to serve her well when she was feeling like this. At capacity—being back home, her grandpa, Carly, Jamie—everything was all piling on top of each other. She needed to blow off some steam. The Globe was usually good for that.
“Two double vodka cokes, please,” she ordered when the bartender approached, straining her voice over the indie music.
She let her attention drift over the crowd, spotting some familiar faces from her Sports Science lectures and sharing a small smile. A short redhead waiting further along the bar caught her eye. She recognised her from Hannah’s netball team. Chloe…something? The girl glanced at Maya, her blue eyes widening slightly with recognition. Maya let her gaze roam over her deep green dress and the bare freckled skin of her shoulders.
This might be easier than I thought.
Hannah had mentioned that Chloe had split up with her boyfriend recently, and Maya remembered buying her a drink at one of the netball meets last year. She had a nice smile, smelt good, had cute freckles. What was not to like?
The bartender placed Chloe’s drinks on the bar, and she disappeared into the crowd without so much as a glance in her direction.
Ah, maybe not.
Her gaze shifted to the woman who’d taken her place, and some of the rage from before simmered back in her gut. She’d forgotten she was there.
Jamie raised her eyebrows. “Hey, Skip! ”
Maya’s attention dropped to her mouth. She couldn’t hear her over the music, which only seemed to be getting louder, but she could read the words leaving her lips. She gave her a small nod and a tight smile. Jamie’s incessant need to talk to her was wearing thin. She knew she was only doing it to wind her up, but it worked too well. That woman knew how to press her buttons.
Luckily, the bartender pushed Maya’s drinks in front of her, and it was her turn to disappear back into the crowd.
She took two deep gulps, relishing the burn as the vodka slid down her throat. She already felt better. Her eyes scanned the tables for Zeek and Carly, but when they came up empty, she frowned. Leaning against a flashing slot machine, she sipped her drink, noting that the table they’d previously occupied definitely now belonged to someone else.
She’s fucking left me? Really?
She shook her head, finishing the first of her drinks.
Then she spotted them, over by the pool table. Carly’s head was thrown back in a laugh, her hand squeezing Luke Ingle’s sizeable bicep. He was studying the same Sports Science degree as she was, played on the basketball team— of fucking course —and had tight brown curls that seemed to be a Carly-magnet. Zeek was standing off to the side chatting with someone, but Maya couldn’t take her eyes off of her.
Carly reached up to tousle Luke’s hair, while his right hand snaked across to grab her hip. Maya’s heart tightened in her chest. Every nerve in her body wanted to tug her forward and slap his huge hand off her. But Carly wasn’t hers. Never had been. She had no right to say or do anything. She just had to take it.
A lightbulb went off in Maya’s head. Was that why Carly had wanted to come here tonight? Luke was known for hanging around here with his basketball bros. She hadn’t wanted to spend time with Maya at all. That realisation stung.
Maya backed herself into the corner, letting the feelings wash over her. Shame. Stupidity. Inadequacy. Loneliness.
Pure and utter loneliness. Ironic, really, as she was surrounded by so many people having a good time.
Her gaze snagged on Jamie and Leah again, chatting in a far corner by the jukebox. Leah hit her arm playfully at something she said.
By the look of it, even Jamie Mellor was getting lucky tonight.
Maya downed her second drink and headed back to the bar.
She wouldn’t be the only one.
* * *
The cold pavement seeped into Maya’s jeans; the bricks pressed cool against her back. The indie music from inside the Globe was a muted hum, oddly comforting, despite the fact she was outside alone.
She didn’t know what time it was—didn’t care either. The only thing her mind could replay was the sight of Carly and Luke leaving the bar together about an hour ago.
The deep navy sky told her she would most definitely be missing her lecture tomorrow. She wanted to text Hannah and tell her, but she was a little embarrassed at what she might say—and what Chloe might tell Hannah about her behaviour tonight. The people on the netball team were tight; gossip always spread around the sports teams fast. Sitting on the floor outside seemed better than facing her responsibilities. Even if the chill was creeping up her spine.
She and Chloe had had a nice conversation, flirted some, arms touching in all the right places. Then Maya had kissed her, earning some wolf-whistles from Chloe’s friends, but when she’d seen Carly leaving with Luke, the illusion shattered.
She was too sad even to have a casual shag. Now that truly was pathetic.
The music was amplified as the door swung open and a handful of people spilled out onto the street. Maya tipped her head up instinctively, her vision blurring and dipping in and out of focus. Chloe, Zeek, and most of the other students had left already. Soon the bar staff would be out, sweeping up the cigarette ends and shooing her along the street like a stray pigeon.
A shadow loomed over her, blocking the yellow light from the lamppost opposite. “Do you need a hand?”
She squinted, trying to focus, and let out a groan when Jamie’s signature smirk filled her vision. Like this night couldn’t get any worse.
“I’m always touched by how happy you are to see me, Skip.” Jamie let out a soft laugh. “Anyone would think you didn’t like me.”
“I don’t,” Maya slurred. “You’re arrogant.”
“On the pitch, maybe.” She offered her arm. When Maya didn’t take it, she lifted her anyway, propping her back onto her feet with ease.
“Hey,” Maya protested, slapping her hands away. “I’m fine. I was just getting some air.”
Jamie nodded. “Sure you were. You’ve been out here for ages. You’re going to catch a cold.”
“I’m fine,” Maya insisted, but even she could hear the slur in her words. She didn’t like the swirl of feelings in her stomach. The way Jamie was looking at her only added to it. She didn’t need her help. It made her feel even more pathetic. “Why do you care?” Her gaze roamed behind Jamie, but only caught on a couple having a hushed conversation over a smoke. “Where’s Leah?”
Jamie’s eyebrows quirked at the last question, almost making Maya regret asking it. She didn’t know where her interest had come from. Stupid vodka brain. “She’s gone home. Why do you care?” she mirrored back.
Maya scoffed. “I don’t. You can sleep with whoever you want.”
Jamie chuckled low in her throat. “Well, thanks for the permission, Skip. I wasn’t aware I needed it.”
“See.” Maya prodded a finger in her chest. “This is what I mean. You’re always so sarcastic. And smiling. Why are you always smiling so much?”
Jamie really laughed at that. “I guess I find your pure, unwavering hatred of me quite amusing.”
Maya snorted. “Only you would find it amusing. That’s so typical of you.”
“Well, we don’t need to hold any grudges now, do we? You’re spared playing against me this year. If I win, you win too.” She leaned closer to whisper, “We’re on the same team, in case you can’t remember.”
Her sudden proximity raised the hairs along Maya’s neck. The tangy, spicy scent of her aftershave cut through her senses, making her take a step back. She swallowed. “Yes, I am aware of that. But it won’t be down to you. It’s a team sport.”
Jamie let out a sharp laugh. “Wow. Even with this much booze in you, you’re still relentless. You know what? I respect that.” She shook her head, but a genuine smile lit up her face. “Now, come on. I’d never forgive myself if I left our captain out here alone to freeze in the dark.”
“I’m not coming back home with you.”
She’d definitely not had enough to drink for that. Even if she was desperate.
“And what makes you think you’d be so lucky, huh?” Jamie smirked. “Come on, let’s get you home.”