Chapter 10
Jenna couldn’t have looked more different as she sat at the table in The Park Cafe.
Gone was the bright lipstick and the sexy lingerie.
Today she was wearing a sensible pair of navy-blue trousers, a white shirt and a pale blue cardigan.
No lipstick at all. Then again, she was hardly going to dress like some seductress to teach a class of twelve-year-olds, was she?
She’d obviously been looking out for her mum because she tentatively waved as soon as Alison entered the building and gestured to the two mugs that were already on the table. Evidently, she’d not waited for Alison to decide what she wanted to drink but had made the decision for her.
Alison took a seat opposite her daughter, warning herself not to give in even as she realised, to her surprise, how much she’d missed Jenna.
‘Coffee, milky, one sugar,’ Jenna said, as if expecting praise for remembering.
Alison was about to remark that she’d be knocking the sugar on the head from now on but didn’t. They weren’t here to talk about her possible diabetes diagnosis.
‘Thanks,’ she said grudgingly.
‘Sorry I ordered for you, but I haven’t got long. You know what it’s like. Forty minutes for lunch and by the time I drive here and back…’
Despite her annoyance, Alison couldn’t help but ask if Jenna would be having anything to eat.
‘I’m not really hungry, to be honest, Mum,’ Jenna admitted. She looked pale and tense and Alison’s heart melted just a little.
‘You can’t go back to work without having something,’ she said. ‘Order a sandwich at least.’
‘I won’t have time.’
‘Of course you will!’ Alison motioned to a waitress who was hovering nearby. ‘Excuse me, can we order some lunch, please?’
‘Sure.’ The waitress smiled at them expectantly and Alison turned to her daughter.
Jenna sighed. ‘Just a sandwich, please. Ham and tomato will do.’
‘Same for me,’ Alison said, and the waitress nodded before heading off to give their order to the kitchen staff.
There was a chilly silence at the table.
Alison wondered what it was that Jenna wanted to say to her and hoped she wouldn’t allow herself to be fooled into picking the girls up from school that evening.
This was supposed to be her day off from work, and she’d already wasted a chunk of it going to her appointment.
She didn’t need any more time carving out of her precious day.
On the other hand, she couldn’t deny that she also missed Ada and Hallie. She was so used to seeing them every day that it was strange not having them around.
‘How are the girls?’ she asked reluctantly.
‘Fine. Missing you, I think,’ Jenna said.
‘Don’t try emotional blackmail on me,’ Alison said immediately, her hackles rising at the thought that Jenna might be trying to manipulate her already.
Jenna’s eyes widened. ‘I wasn’t! I was just saying, that’s all.’
Alison sipped her coffee, not sure whether she believed her or not.
‘Mum, what you saw that night…’
Jenna’s voice trailed off as if she was waiting for her mother to interrupt, but Alison said nothing. She eyed Jenna steadily, wondering what sort of excuse her daughter was about to offer.
Jenna sighed. ‘You’re right. It was a stupid thing to do. I’m sorry.’
Alison leaned forward, forgetting all about keeping quiet. ‘Sorry? It’s not me you should be saying sorry to, is it? What about your husband? What about your daughters?’
‘They don’t know anything about it,’ Jenna said. ‘And I’d really appreciate it if it stayed that way.’
‘I’ll bet you would,’ Alison said grimly. She gripped her coffee mug, still reeling from the fact that her daughter could do something so reckless. ‘So who is he then? And how long’s it been going on?’
‘Does it matter?’ Jenna asked wearily. ‘And before you ask, nothing happened that night. In fact’ – she gave a brittle laugh – ‘he didn’t turn up.’
‘Sounds like a right charmer. Is he one of your fellow teachers? Is he married? Have you any idea how dangerous this could be for your career, never mind your marriage?’
‘He’s not married,’ Jenna said angrily. ‘I would never do that to another woman!’
‘But you’re okay doing it to your husband?’
Jenna bit her lip.
‘So is it an affair?’ Alison asked. ‘Lust, love, what?’
‘It was just a stupid mistake,’ Jenna said. She ran a hand through her hair, looking exhausted. ‘We’d done a bit of flirting at work and just got carried away, I suppose. That night was the first time we were going to – you know. But he didn’t show up. I guess he realised it was a mistake, too.’
‘You guess?’ Alison’s eyes narrowed. ‘Don’t you know? Haven’t you discussed it with him?’
Jenna shook her head. ‘We’ve avoided each other ever since. I think we both feel a bit foolish.’
‘So nothing happened? You didn’t cheat on Joel?’
‘No, Mum. I didn’t cheat on Joel,’ Jenna said heavily.
‘Well!’ Alison leaned back in her chair and puffed out her cheeks in relief.
‘That’s something, I suppose.’ She couldn’t bear the thought of her daughter losing her husband.
She’d only regret it if she did. Alison knew what it was like to be alone and she wouldn’t wish it on Jenna, not to mention what the twins would go through if the worst came to the worst.
The waitress returned with their sandwiches. They thanked her and spent the next few minutes eating in awkward silence.
‘What you said about the girls,’ Jenna said at last. ‘About me dumping them on you. You didn’t mean that, did you?’
Alison sighed. Here it was, then. The moment she’d been waiting for.
‘I did actually, yes,’ she said carefully. ‘I’m sorry to say it, but that’s how I feel.’
Jenna’s eyes gleamed with tears. ‘I thought you loved them.’
‘Oh, Jenna, don’t be daft, love! Of course I love them! This has got nothing to do with my feelings for my granddaughters, and everything to do with feeling like I’m being taken for a mug by my own daughter and son-in-law!’
‘I thought you were happy to help,’ Jenna insisted.
‘I was happy to help! I am happy to help! But that doesn’t mean I want to be at your beck and call every single day, and that’s how it’s felt to me for years now.
I have a job, Jenna. I have parents who are getting on in years, not that you seem to care.
When was the last time you visited them?
You haven’t even asked how your grandma’s arm is. ’
‘There never seems to be any time!’ Jenna shook her head and pushed her plate away, having only eaten one half of the sandwich. ‘How is Grandma’s arm anyway?’
‘Healing slowly,’ Alison said. ‘I’ve been popping down to Kelsea Sands more regularly now I haven’t had to babysit, and I’ve taken over the cleaning and cooking duties from your Aunt Elaine and Rosie. They’ve been brilliant, but they shouldn’t have had to be, should they?’
‘I doubt they minded,’ Jenna said. ‘You know how close they all are.’
‘That’s hardly the point, love.’
‘No, I suppose not. I’m glad Grandma’s getting better. I will try to pop down one weekend. Or maybe in half-term?’
‘Why don’t you all go down?’ Alison asked impulsively.
She squeezed Jenna’s hand, feeling a sudden compassion for her overworked daughter.
‘You, Joel and the kids. I’m sure they’d love to see you all, and it would do you good to be together as a family.
A bit of sea air, or a walk along the river path. You can’t beat it.’
‘In February?’ Jenna laughed mirthlessly.
‘Even if I said yes, I can’t see Joel wanting to visit Kelsea Sands at this time of year, or any time of year quite honestly.
And the girls would get bored. It’s not like there’s anything for them to do there, is it?
I don’t know. Maybe I’ll take them to see Niall and the family one day.
At least there are amusements in Millensea. ’
‘Maybe you should go the whole hog and book a family holiday somewhere. Why not? Easter holidays, you, Joel and the twins. Go somewhere lovely where you can have fun and relax together. Actually talk. Take those bloody tablets away from the girls.’
‘Mm. Maybe.’
Jenna shrugged and Alison bit down her frustration. You just couldn’t help some people. ‘Well, it’s up to you. Just don’t go getting distracted by any other men at work or anywhere else, for God’s sake.’
‘I won’t. So…’ Jenna gave her mother a pleading look. ‘About the girls.’
‘No.’
‘But, Mum!’
‘I said no, Jenna. I’ve done my childcare bit bringing you up, and then the last seven years with the twins. I’ve had enough. You and Joel earn enough money between you to pay for some sort of after-school club or something. It’s not my responsibility.’
‘Other grandparents do it,’ Jenna said sulkily.
‘Look, I’ve been giving this a lot of thought, and maybe you’re right.
Maybe we have been a bit unfair. But what if I pay you?
The going rate – well, more or less. How would that sound?
A proper job. Maybe you could even give up that job at the petrol station and look after the twins full time? What do you think?’
Alison stared at her. ‘You’re not serious?’
Jenna nodded eagerly. ‘I’ll bet you’d much rather be with Hallie and Ada than stuck behind that counter, wouldn’t you?
It’s a win-win situation. You’ll have a better job, and I won’t have to worry about getting help with the twins because I know you’ll be great with them, and far better than any paid child carer would be. ’
‘You’re unbelievable,’ Alison said. ‘How can I make this any clearer? I do not want to look after the girls full time! I need my job at the petrol station. It’s my independence.’
‘But you don’t even like it that much! You only took it because Dad died. You’d given up teaching, remember?’
How could she forget? They’d had such plans, she and Drew. But then he’d started to feel unwell, and just months after Alison had left her job, he’d been given a devastating diagnosis.
And when all hope had died, along with her husband, she’d been left alone and lonely in the house they’d planned to sell but had taken off the market while they focused on his treatment. The days had stretched on endlessly, and the nights – well, they were the worst.
After a year of tears and being trapped in a fog of indecision and fear, she’d finally applied for a job at a petrol station on the retail park where her husband had once worked as a manager of a large furniture store.
The very petrol station where Drew had filled up the tank every week.
She’d been surprised when she got the job, but it had brought her comfort – made her feel closer to him somehow.
And it had given her a reason to get up in the morning. There’d been no grandchildren to run around after then.
‘That’s not the point. Oh!’ Alison gave an exasperated groan.
‘You just don’t get it, do you? Hallie and Ada are your children.
Yours and Joel’s. Your responsibility, not mine.
I don’t want to look after them every day.
I want my freedom and they want – need – their parents. Why can’t you understand that?’
Jenna watched her through narrowed eyes. ‘So you don’t want to see your own granddaughters?’
‘Bloody hell! Of course I want to see them – but the same way any other grandparent would want to see their grandchildren, not because they’re in my care twenty-four-seven.
I’m tired, Jenna. They exhaust me. I love them to bits but, to be perfectly honest, I can only deal with them in short bursts.
I’m fine to babysit for you once a week.
That’s not a problem. And if it’s a genuine emergency then of course I’ll help.
But having them every day, having to juggle my job around the school run, having to fit my entire life around my commitments to your children – well, it just isn’t on. Not any more. I’m done. I’m sorry.’
‘Wow.’ Jenna picked up her bag. ‘Well, thanks a lot for making it so clear. I won’t bother you again.’
Alison reached for her daughter’s hand. ‘I’m serious about babysitting them once a week. I’m happy to do that. I’ll even take them to Kelsea Sands. Mam and Dad would love to see them and—’
‘No, honestly, it’s no trouble. I wouldn’t want to interfere with your busy life,’ Jenna said coldly.
Alison rolled her eyes. ‘Jenna, stop being so stubborn and childish. Just because I don’t want to make it my full-time job doesn’t mean I don’t want to see them at all. You know I love them.’
‘Sounds like it,’ Jenna said bitterly. ‘When you can fit them in around your hectic schedule of course. I’ll find my own childcare solutions, thanks, Mum. Nice seeing you.’
Alison stared, open-mouthed, as her daughter stalked out of the cafe without a backward glance.
She leaned back in her chair and shook her head.
Well, that had gone well, hadn’t it? She’d hoped, deep down, that they could come to some sort of understanding, that Jenna would see things from her point of view.
It seemed that had been optimistic of her.
Well, she’d tried. Time to go home and spend the afternoon catching up with all the little jobs she’d been putting off for far too long.
She picked up her bag and rooted inside for her purse, then let out a gasp of annoyance as it occurred to her that Jenna hadn’t even paid for her own coffee and sandwich.
Bloody hell. Today really was the gift that kept on giving.