Chapter 12
Alison scooped up a spoonful of chicken fried rice and curry sauce, her eyes fixed on the television screen and an old episode of Miss Marple.
She knew the plot off by heart, but it didn’t detract from her enjoyment.
She loved detective programmes – as long as they weren’t too graphic or scary.
She hated anything with too much tension.
It was probably why she watched so many repeats of old series.
That way she knew what to expect and there were no nasty surprises.
The Chinese takeaway had been a last-minute idea.
A fond farewell to eating fast food. She’d rung the surgery that morning from work and had it confirmed that she was just within the diabetic range.
It was time to do something about it. She had three months to turn things around, so what better way to mark the occasion than with her favourite Chinese dish?
The doorbell rang and Alison frowned. Rosie?
But it was gone six o’clock and dark outside.
Rosie didn’t like driving in the dark, especially not on the lonely, winding roads between Hull and Kelsea Sands.
Maybe it was someone wanting a donation or asking her to sign up for some raffle or other, or switch broadband providers or electricity companies.
There’d been a lot of that just lately. Most of her neighbours had put signs in their windows, telling cold callers not to bother.
She put her plate on the coffee table and headed into the hallway, hoping whoever it was wouldn’t keep her standing at the door too long, because there was nothing worse than cold chicken fried rice.
Making sure the chain was on the latch, she cautiously opened the front door, then heaved a sigh of relief and pulled back the chain, standing aside to let her son-in-law in.
‘Joel! I wasn’t expecting you.’ She frowned, suddenly worried. ‘Everything’s okay, isn’t it?’
‘Apart from me and Jenna being well and truly dropped in it as far as childcare goes, you mean? Perfect.’
He sounded bitter and his eyes flashed with annoyance. Alison’s worry evaporated, replaced with irritation.
‘Has Jenna sent you?’ she asked as she closed the door to keep out the cold January air.
‘No. She doesn’t know I’m here. She told me to leave it, and that I should stay away from you.’
I’ll bet she did. Terrified I tell him what caused me to withdraw my labour, no doubt.
‘Maybe,’ she said, ‘you should have listened to her.’
She’d been going to invite him through to the living room. Make him a coffee. Even offer him some of her fried rice. Seeing the disgust on his face, she changed her mind. She wished she’d left him standing on the doorstep in the cold now.
‘Why are you being so selfish?’ he snapped. ‘You know how we’re fixed. It’s not easy, you know, both of us working with twins to look after.’
‘Except,’ she said coldly, ‘you don’t look after them, do you? You’re always at bloody work or some conference or meeting or whatever. Jenna palms them off on me whenever she can, but you’re even worse.’
‘Palms them off on you?’ He glared at her. ‘So she wasn’t lying then. You really do consider them a burden!’
‘I never said that. Stop twisting my words,’ she said crossly. ‘Are you going to calm down and talk about this sensibly?’
‘I’m perfectly calm. You know, we thought we were doing you a favour. After Drew died you were so miserable, and when the twins came along, we thought they’d be the perfect antidote for your depression—’
‘My grief,’ she said flatly. ‘I think you’ll find it was grief, and the only antidote to that is time, not looking after other people’s kids.’
‘Your grandchildren,’ he reminded her, as if she needed reminding.
‘I’m aware of that, and I love them both to bits,’ she said. ‘That doesn’t mean I want my entire life to revolve around them. Surely you can see that? You clearly feel much the same way about them yourself.’
He puffed out his cheeks and shook his head. ‘Wow! You’re unbelievable. I’m working! I’m trying to build a better life for my family. Maybe that doesn’t mean much to you, given that you threw away a perfectly decent career to sponge off Drew—’
‘I beg your pardon?’ Alison couldn’t believe he’d just said that. She stared at him, hardly able to comprehend that the son-in-law she’d always got on well with could say something so cruel. ‘Sponge off him? What are you talking about?’
Joel’s lip curled. ‘You gave up your job to do what? Lounge about in the house while he drove himself into an early grave working to provide for you. How did you think he was going to make up the shortfall in your income, once you stopped teaching?’
‘It wasn’t like that at all!’ Alison’s eyes filled with tears, and she blinked them away angrily. She was not going to show any signs of weakness. ‘Drew and I talked about it. We’d made plans.’
‘You made plans, and he went along with them,’ Joel said scornfully.
‘He never liked letting you down, did he? You could have carried on working until you both retired. Instead, you quit your job, became a lady of leisure and let him work himself to death. Now you’re trying to do the same to your daughter.
How’s she supposed to look after two kids and carry on working at the same time?
Have you any idea how stressed she’s been lately because of this?
Or maybe you’d prefer it if she quit her job, too, and let me struggle to cover all the bills and mortgage? ’
Alison had no words. She thought back to the discussions she and Drew had had about her leaving work. He’d been all for it. Hadn’t he? He’d said they could easily manage on his salary, that she had no need to worry. He wanted her to be happy, he said.
Oh, God. Had she really driven him into an early grave?
‘I think you should go,’ she said shakily.
‘Truth hurts, doesn’t it?’ he said unkindly.
‘I’m glad you’re upset. Jenna’s been a mess for days, ringing round, organising after-school clubs and all sorts.
Their gym club’s probably out of the question now if you won’t take them.
Maybe the dance classes, too. We’re probably going to have to look for a nanny now. Jenna’s worn out trying to fix it all.’
‘And I’m sure you did your best to help her,’ she said sarcastically, knowing perfectly well that it would all have fallen on her daughter’s shoulders. She felt a sudden guilt and shame. She should have considered that. She’d just made more hard work for Jenna.
‘No wonder she doesn’t want to see you again,’ he snarled. ‘You really take the biscuit, you know that? Not an ounce of compassion for her. When I think how forgiving she was, even though she really struggled after her dad died, knowing it was all your fault he got ill—’
‘It was not my fault!’ Alison pushed him away from her in fury, and he staggered backward, not prepared. ‘How dare you say such a thing? He had cancer! I didn’t cause that.’
‘Cancer can be caused by stress. Everyone knows that. And his immune system was probably weakened by the extra work and the responsibility. But did Jenna ever have a go at you for it? No. She tried to get you through it all. She even trusted you with our babies, which is more than I would have done, considering the state you were in at the time.’
‘Get out, Joel,’ Alison said, unable to check the flow of tears now.
She wanted him to leave because she hated the thought of him seeing how much he’d upset her.
She didn’t want him to have that power. She pulled open the door, her emotions making her oblivious to the icy blast that swept through the hallway. ‘Leave, now.’
‘Don’t worry, I’m going. But I hope you’re prepared for the fact that you won’t be seeing the twins for a very long time.’
‘You can’t keep them away from me,’ she gasped. ‘They’re my granddaughters.’
‘Yes, when it suits you! If you’re not prepared to look after them when we need you then you’re not seeing them at all. Simple as. And don’t bother trying to harass Jenna about it because it was her decision. I’m just passing on the message.’
He pulled his coat tighter. ‘I hope you’re happy with yourself. You’ve really upset your daughter and now your granddaughters will be miserable, too. Nice work, Alison.’
The moment he stepped outside she slammed the door shut and dropped the latch, as well as sliding the chain across.
For a moment she held her breath, half expecting him to try to get back inside, but she heard nothing until the front gate clicked shut, and a minute or so later his car started, and he drove away.
She leaned against the door, struggling for breath, her hands shaking. She couldn’t believe that she’d just had a showdown with Joel, of all people. They’d always got along fine. Did he and Jenna really believe she’d been responsible for Drew’s death? Is that what they’d thought all these years?
She staggered back into the living room and sank on to the sofa. She couldn’t stop trembling and felt as if she was in shock. What just happened?
‘It was Drew’s idea for me to leave teaching,’ she muttered to herself, shaking her head as if some invisible source was arguing the point.
‘I admit I told him how unhappy I was, but it was Drew who said we could manage fine without my salary by that point. He was the one who dealt with the finances. He knew the situation. I didn’t push him into anything. I didn’t!’
But had she, without even meaning to? Drew had been such a kind man.
He would have done anything to make her happy.
And he knew how risk averse she was. The very fact that she was even mentioning how she’d like to leave her job – even though she had no intention of doing so then – would have signalled to him how unhappy she was feeling.
Had he felt unable to ignore her misery?
Had she emotionally blackmailed him, however unintentionally?
Biting back tears, she took her plate into the kitchen and scraped the takeaway into the bin.
She couldn’t face it now. Instead, she made herself a hot chocolate and carried it back into the living room, trying to calm herself down.
She felt sick with anxiety. She hated confrontation of any kind, but to argue like that with her son-in-law!
She couldn’t believe she’d fallen out with her own family, and that she might never get to see Hallie and Ada again.
Panic gripped her and she wondered for a moment if she should call Jenna, tell her she would give up her job and accept her offer to be the twins’ nanny.
When the phone rang, she was almost afraid to look at it. What if it was Joel ready for Round Two? Or what if it was Jenna calling to add her tuppence worth? She really couldn’t deal with any more accusations.
Daring to peer at the screen she almost sobbed with relief when she saw Rosie’s name flash up on the screen.
She accepted the call without even thinking about it, but it was some moments before she could manage to say hello, as she struggled to hold back the tears, her throat tight with emotion, her heart thudding.
‘Ali? Ali, are you there?’
Alison desperately swallowed and managed to croak out a response.
‘You sound awful. Have you got a cold? I was just ringing to tell you that I’m finally moving back into the caravan on Sunday, and I’ve just come here to give it a good clean.
Wish I could stay here all night to be honest, but I daren’t risk getting chucked out when I’m so close to escaping Mam and Dad’s.
’ She laughed. ‘Mind you, I’m in no hurry to go back to theirs yet.
Just about to order meself a takeaway as a matter of fact and—’
She broke off as Alison let out a sob, even though she’d done her best not to.
‘Ali? What’s wrong?’ Rosie asked anxiously.
‘It’s… it’s Joel. He’s just been round. Oh, Rosie, he said some awful things! It wasn’t my fault, was it?’
‘What wasn’t your fault?’ Rosie asked, sounding completely baffled.
‘Drew! I didn’t push him into an early grave, did I?’
‘What?’ Rosie’s voice bellowed in her ear. ‘Is that what Joel said? Is he there?’
‘He left,’ Alison managed. ‘I asked him to leave.’
‘Asked him to leave? I’d have kicked his sorry arse all the way down the Clive Sully,’ Rosie raged. ‘The bloody cheek of him! Why would he say something like that?’
‘It’s because of Jenna and the twins,’ Alison said shakily.
‘He’s furious. He says… he says I can’t see the girls any more because I’ve refused to babysit.
He says Drew got cancer because he had to work so hard after I left teaching.
That it was stress that made him ill.’ She wiped her eyes with a trembling hand.
‘It’s not true, is it? I didn’t cause his illness, did I? ’
She really wasn’t sure any more. Joel had certainly sounded convinced.
‘Of course it’s not true! Oh, Ali, don’t let him get to you, please. Right, that’s it, I’m on my way,’ Rosie said.
‘What? No, no you mustn’t! You’re about to have your tea,’ Alison protested. ‘Besides, it’s dark outside and you hate those roads and—’
It was no use saying anything else. Rosie had hung up.