Chapter 36
‘That’s two duck eggs and three hen’s eggs today. Not bad at all.’
Mac gazed down at the basket over his arm and nodded approvingly at the little haul, then rolled his eyes. Look at him, walking around like Little Red Riding Hood. Whoever would have believed it?
He’d got used to the routine now, having figured out that it was best to collect the duck eggs in the morning, as they tended to lay at night, whereas the Bennet Sisters laid throughout the day until mid-afternoon, so he usually waited until around three o’clock to collect theirs.
He glanced at the pond where Peggoty and Nancy were swimming in the water, while Estella was lying close by, drying off after a previous dip.
He couldn’t believe that he knew which duck was which.
When he’d first arrived here, they’d all looked the same to him, no matter how many times Gilly Foster had pointed out their differences.
He was, he had to admit, extraordinarily fond of them.
Of all the animals and birds. Maybe he really was cut out for this Doctor Dolittle lark, after all.
Smiling to himself he strolled up the garden path and into the kitchen, placing the basket on the worktop.
Carne trotted in behind him, never wanting to be away from him for too long.
‘You should be outside,’ Mac told him. ‘It’s a beautiful day. Don’t be cooped up in here. Take a leaf out of Mrs Beddows’ book.’
Where she’d vanished to again he had no idea, but she could take care of herself, and she’d be home when she felt like it. No doubt about that.
‘Mac?’
He spun round, his heart thudding with sudden hope at the tentative voice behind him, but his spirits fell when he saw Stella standing there, her hands wringing together and her posture revealing that she was nervous as hell. As well she might be.
‘Oh,’ he said dully, turning back to the sink and reaching for the handwash. ‘It’s you.’
‘I was watching you out of the window in the snug,’ she said. ‘You looked really happy. Really happy.’
He mentally shook his head as he washed his hands. He knew exactly what she was implying.
‘Are you happy?’ she asked cautiously.
‘Well, my sister seems to think she can let herself into my house any time she feels like it, and the woman I love has moved back to Hull and wants nothing more to do with me, so no, I wouldn’t say I’m exactly thrilled, but I’m getting by. Is that what you wanted to hear?’
He dried his hands and threw the towel on to the draining board, then turned to face her. She swallowed, looking terrified and, despite his anger, he felt himself soften towards her.
‘Why did you do it, Stella? To teach me a lesson? To prove a point? To ruin my life?’
Stella gripped the back of the chair.
‘Because you could have done, you know. You could have ruined my life! Do you know that?’ He gave a bitter laugh. ‘Well, of course you know that. That was the intention, wasn’t it? See me back in the hell I’d finally managed to drag myself out of. God, you must really hate me.’
‘I don’t hate you, Mac. I don’t!’ Tears rolled down Stella’s cheeks and she sat down at the table, staring at him in anguish. ‘Please tell me you haven’t done anything stupid. I’d never forgive myself if you have.’
‘You mean, please tell you I didn’t go straight to the casino and blow that thirty thousand pounds which you kindly transferred to my bank account last week?’
She nodded dumbly.
Mac fumbled in his jeans pocket and took out his mobile phone. He tapped it a few times and waited until her phone pinged.
Stella retrieved it from her handbag and tapped the notification. Her mouth fell open as she stared at the photo he’d just sent her.
‘You did go to the casino! Oh, Mac! I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry!’
She took out a tissue and began to sob noisily with genuine regret. Mac couldn’t stand it any longer.
He sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulders.
‘If I was going to go into the casino, would I really have taken a selfie outside it to show you? Don’t be daft, Stell. I took the photo to show you that I was strong enough not to go into the casino. Look, I’ll prove it.’
He opened the banking app on his phone and passed it across to her. She gazed at it for a moment then looked at him in wonder.
‘It’s all there. You didn’t touch it!’
‘No. I didn’t touch it. I didn’t gamble, Stell. I promise.’
He was stunned when she threw her arms around him and sobbed on to his shoulder.
‘I’m so glad! And I’m so sorry. Oh, Mac, I’ve been such a bitch. Alison was right about that. I don’t know why I did it, I really don’t. Well, that’s not true, I do know, sort of. I was all mixed up and angry and hurt and I just wanted…’
‘To force me into selling Watersmeet? Is that what it was? Did you think that if you could get me gambling again, I’d get into so much debt that I’d have to part with it?’
She pulled away, wiping her nose on the tissue.
‘No. I don’t think so. I didn’t really think beyond you losing that money.
I didn’t really think at all. I was just so angry, and I thought I wanted to teach you a lesson, but as soon as I’d done it I panicked and regretted it, but I couldn’t stop it. It was too late. So…’
‘So,’ Mac said, ‘you rang Gavin and told him what you’d done.’
‘He called you?’
‘He did. Checked up on me. I told him what I’m telling you. I’m fine. I wasn’t even tempted. I’ve got way too much to lose, and believe it or not, I really like my life now. I love it here. I’m not about to throw that away again.’
‘Oh, Mac,’ she breathed. ‘I’m so glad! And I’m so proud of you.’
He’d never expected to hear those words from his sister, and he swallowed.
‘Thank you. But Stella, it could have had a very different outcome, you understand that? Especially since Alison – what happened with her. I was vulnerable, just like I was when I found out about Lynne and Terry, and I could have gone down the same path. What you did was awful. Cruel.’
‘I know. I know it was, and I can’t tell you how sorry I am.
’ She rubbed her eyes then looked at him with genuine pain.
‘Gavin told me, Mac. He told me what really happened. About Lynne and Terry’s affair.
All those years! And about you giving her your half of the house proceeds and walking away with nothing. Why didn’t you tell me?’
Mac sighed. ‘He shouldn’t have done that.
I asked him not to, and I explained my reasons.
I don’t want the kids to ever find out what really happened.
They’d lost all faith in me, and I didn’t want them to lose faith in their mum.
Please tell me you haven’t contacted Lynne.
I couldn’t stand it. I don’t want any of that raking up again. ’
‘I haven’t, I swear it. I mean, I would have done if I’d known back then. I’d doubtless have gone round there and bawled her out, and you’re right, the kids would probably have found out all about it because I’d have been so furious about it all.’
She squeezed his hand. ‘I still am furious about it all. She let me think it was all your fault. She made me despise you.’
‘Stella,’ he said firmly, ‘it was all my fault. The gambling bit anyway. Yes, Lynne and Terry behaved badly, deceiving me for all those years and betraying my trust, but they didn’t force me to throw away every penny I had on the horses, the cards, the roulette wheel. That was all me. My responsibility.’
‘It’s an addiction,’ she said sadly. ‘An illness. I didn’t understand, but I think I do now. A little bit anyway.’ She raised embarrassed eyes to him. ‘Drinking,’ she said quietly. ‘I think… I think I’ve got a bit of a problem with it.’
He nodded. ‘You think? Or you know?’
She took a deep breath. ‘I know. I’ve started to rely on it way too much.
I’ve been so unhappy, Mac, and the alcohol seemed to take the edge off it, however temporarily.
But it’s no solution, is it? I mean, alcohol’s a depressant in itself so it’s the last thing I should be doing.
I’ve…’ She shook her head and gave a small laugh.
‘I’ve been to an AA meeting in town. I stood up and said I was an alcoholic. Me! I’m so ashamed.’
He squeezed her shoulder, remembering his own battle, and thinking of Alison and her junk food habit, and of Doug, who’d stopped gambling and helped him so much but had been unable to kick the heavy smoking habit which had eventually led to his own untimely death.
People suffered and struggled so much, and they used all sorts of different props to help them through.
It was easy to judge from the outside, but how many people could claim they didn’t have something they relied upon to cope?
It was just that some addictions seemed to be more socially acceptable than others.
But all of them had the potential to be dangerous, one way or the other.
‘Well done, Stella,’ he said. ‘I’m proud of you, too.’
‘It was after I transferred the money to you,’ she explained.
‘I couldn’t believe I’d done it. I was drunk, of course, and when I sobered up – oh, God.
I was so disgusted with myself, and so terrified.
I just didn’t know what to do. That’s why I called Gavin.
He always knew what to say. I thought he’d fix it for me. I thought…’
‘That he’d come riding to your rescue and everything would resolve itself?’
She nodded. ‘When he made it very clear that he’d check on you, but he wasn’t going to come round and see me, I realised it really was over. I’ve been such a fool, haven’t I? Gavin doesn’t want me back, does he?’
Mac hesitated, not wanting to hurt her, but he realised there was no point sugar-coating this particular pill. She was going to have to swallow it, as bitter as it was.
‘No,’ he said, his eyes brimming with tears as she gazed up at him. ‘He’s moved on, and you have to as well. And you can,’ he added quickly. ‘You’ve got me. You’ll always have me. And Crystal and Ned.’
‘I don’t deserve you,’ she said.
‘Of course you do. We’ll help each other.’
‘I don’t know what I’m going to do, though. I’m sixty this year and look at me! I’m lost. Completely lost.’ She burst into tears and Mac hugged her tightly.
‘Help me then,’ he said impulsively. ‘Come into business with me. Help me turn this place into a refuge for people to reconnect with nature, with their loved ones, with themselves.’
She blinked away the tears and frowned. ‘What do you mean?’
Briefly he told her about his plans for Watersmeet.
‘Shepherd’s huts? But you were so against a caravan park.’
‘There’ll only be three or four shepherd’s huts at the most. That’s if we can get planning permission, of course, but I don’t think it will be a problem.
There are a couple of houses along this road that have a static caravan in their gardens which they rent out to birdwatchers and the like.
It sort of sets a precedent, doesn’t it?
And shepherd’s huts are so unobtrusive. They won’t even be connected to the mains. ’
He tapped his phone, showing her the website of Gavin’s friend, who made and sold them. ‘See? Off-grid ones. They’ll have wood-burning stoves so people can stay warm in them, but no electricity or water or waste pipes.’
‘Then, how…?’
‘The extension at the back of the house,’ he said. ‘The utility room and downstairs cloakroom. There’s plumbing already there. We could turn it into a shower block with a couple of toilets.’
‘And what about food and drink?’
‘Bed and breakfast,’ he said with a grin.
‘I’d make them breakfast every morning and take it to their hut, or they could eat in here if they wanted.
And I’d provide dinner if they paid extra, or they could go over to The North Star.
I could even make them packed lunches. The point is, they’d be warm, comfortable, fed, and there’d be no distractions.
Nowhere to plug in their mobile phones or laptops or games consoles.
No TV. Just nature and each other, or themselves if they wanted to be alone. You see?’
‘And you really want to do this?’ she asked.
‘I really do, but I know nothing about running a business like this. You’re the one with the hospitality background. What do you say to helping me out?’
Stella shook her head in wonder. ‘You’d really let me be part of this, after what I’ve just done to you?’
‘You’re my sister, Stella,’ he told her kindly. ‘I love you. I’d be so happy if we could do this together.’
She fell against him, and he hugged her to him, stroking her hair as she cried softly against his chest.
‘So,’ he said at last, as her sobs turned to sniffles, ‘what do you say? Partners?’
She nodded and smiled up at him, her eyes red from crying but also bright with a new optimism.
‘Partners,’ she said.