Chapter 37
No word from Mac. Of course, I don’t want there to be.
There wouldn’t be much point, would there?
Jenna is talking to me again, so that’s something.
It’s a bit awkward, but we’re trying. I haven’t seen Joel, and I don’t want to.
I’ve gone right off him. Not a word of apology from him about what he said to me.
Had the twins on Saturday but only for the day.
Took them to the park. It was lovely. They wanted to go to Kelsea Sands again, but I told them Mam and Dad were busy, and Rosie was at work.
They were really disappointed. I’m having them again the Saturday after next, so maybe I’ll take them to see Niall and Kendra in Millensea.
One beach is as good as another when you’re that age, right?
Oh, and my cervical screening results came through. All fine. Another thing ticked off the list, as Mac would say.
Rosie rang to wish me good luck for today.
She offered to come with me, but I told her I didn’t want her driving all that way just to hold my hand.
I’m a big girl. I can do this. Funny, it really doesn’t feel like such a big deal any more – going to the doctor’s, I mean. Life is certainly strange, isn’t it?
‘Alison,’ the nurse said, beaming at her with delight, ‘you’ve worked a miracle!’
As Alison stepped off the scales she couldn’t help smiling at her obvious approval.
She might well approve, too. Alison had lost thirty pounds in three months.
Her blood pressure was normal, and the nurse was already sure that her blood glucose levels would have dropped – it was just a question of by how much.
‘What have you been doing? I’d like to tell my other patients the secret,’ she said, as Alison sat back down.
‘I followed the recipes in a diabetic-friendly cookbook,’ Alison said with a shrug. ‘I taught myself to cook from scratch. I think that made a difference.’
With Mac’s help. She hadn’t taught herself to cook from scratch. They’d taught each other. She wondered if she should add that it had got a lot easier over the last three weeks. It was amazing how being heartbroken dulled your appetite.
‘Well, I’m proud of you,’ the nurse said.
‘Call the surgery in a few days and we’ll have the results for you.
I have a good feeling that you’ll be out of the diabetic range, but I’ll keep everything crossed for you.
The main thing now, of course, is to keep going with it.
You’ve still got some weight to lose to be in the ideal range for your height, and of course, we need to keep that blood sugar steady, don’t we? ’
Oh, do we? I’m so glad we’re doing this together.
But the nurse was so happy for her, and so full of compliments that Alison couldn’t help but feel good about herself, so she smiled and thanked her, then left, promising to keep up the good work.
She headed through reception, waving a cheery goodbye to the receptionist, and went through the automatic doors into the car park.
‘Hiya, Mum.’
Shocked, she stared at Jenna, who was standing nearby.
‘What the heck are you doing here?’ She glanced at her watch. ‘It’s eleven o’clock. What’s wrong? Why aren’t you at work?’
‘I’m playing hooky.’ Jenna gave her a sheepish smile. ‘I rang in sick. Sod it.’
‘You did what? You?’ Alison couldn’t believe it. Jenna, the woman who wanted nothing more than to be every pupil’s favourite teacher and be promoted to head teacher by the time she was forty-five had played hooky? It had never been known. ‘Has something happened?’
‘Sort of.’ Jenna glanced upwards and wrinkled her nose as spots of rain started to fall. ‘Come and sit in my car. Let’s talk.’
Feeling she was in a dream, Alison followed her daughter to where her smart new car was parked. Well, nearly new. She’d only taken delivery of it last week. The family was certainly aspirational.
‘Nice,’ she said, admiring the interior as they sat inside, while the rain began to pour down, bouncing off the windscreen. ‘Very smart.’
‘I doubt it will stay that way for long,’ Jenna said. ‘You know how much mess the twins can make.’
‘Don’t I just!’ Alison said with feeling.
‘Bloody April showers,’ Jenna said wistfully. ‘It was such a lovely day yesterday, too. I hope it’s not an omen.’
‘An omen of what?’
Jenna turned to face her, her cool facade dropping. ‘Mum, why didn’t you tell me?’
Alison frowned. ‘Tell you what?’
‘About the diabetes!’
Alison heaved a heavy sigh. ‘Bloody Rosie.’
‘Don’t blame her! She shouldn’t have had to tell me.
You should have! She called me last night.
She told me you were going to get your bloods checked today and that you might be really nervous, because we all know what you’re like about going to the doctor’s.
She wanted to be with you, but she was needed at work, so she asked me if I’d go with you, and I told her I had work, too, and she said she’d clean forgotten.
But I don’t think she had, do you? I think she just wanted me to know.
And then I got stuck in traffic and missed your appointment anyway and… How did it go?’
‘Okay, I think,’ Alison said, feeling slightly stunned at Jenna’s little speech. It was the most her daughter had said to her in months. ‘Are you telling me you called in sick to be with me for my blood test?’
Jenna’s face crumpled. ‘Yes! And I missed it! I’m so sorry.’
‘There’s no need to be sorry,’ Alison assured her, handing her a tissue as Jenna began to cry. ‘I was absolutely fine. Honestly.’
‘But you’re scared stiff of doctors. Everyone knows that. Ever since Dad.’
‘Yes, well, I’m not so scared any more. I’ve had that many tests lately it doesn’t bother me at all.’
‘Tests?’ Jenna’s eyes widened. ‘What sort of tests?’
‘Nothing sinister. Just routine stuff. When you get to my age they want to check everything. And besides, you know what it’s like when you’re a woman. It never ends, does it?’
‘Oh. Oh, you mean like a mammogram?’
Alison groaned. ‘Bloody hell. I’d forgotten about that. That’ll be next, no doubt. Something to look forward to, eh?’
‘But everything’s okay?’ Jenna asked anxiously.
‘I’m fine, love. All results are good so far. Just got the blood sugar test to come back now and then that’s it. And I’ve lost so much weight and eaten so healthily that I’m feeling positive about that too. My blood pressure’s normal again. The nurse is really pleased with me.’
Jenna surveyed her thoughtfully. ‘You look fabulous,’ she said. ‘Really well. I guess going away to Kelsea Sands did you the world of good.’
‘Mm. It did.’ Until it didn’t.
‘I thought… I thought it was all because of me, you see,’ Jenna said. ‘You going away. I thought you’d left home because you didn’t want to be at my beck and call, and I felt awful. I didn’t know you were going away to get healthy.’
‘Well,’ Alison said slowly, ‘it was partly because of you. Not that I wanted to get away from you,’ she added hastily.
‘It was just… it was all getting too much for me. Looking after the twins all the time and working at the petrol station and worrying about Mam and Dad. My blood pressure was creeping up and up and I was comfort eating way too much. I had to do something. I had to reset my life. I’m sorry if I made things difficult for you.
I know it can’t have been easy, finding someone to take care of the twins. ’
‘No,’ she admitted. ‘It wasn’t.’
‘So, who did you find in the end?’ Alison asked tentatively.
‘Me,’ Jenna said. ‘I started juggling things around to make sure I could pick them up and take them to school as much as possible. And I started doing my marking and lesson planning when they were in bed, or at gymnastics, or dance class. I’ve never seen so much of them since my maternity leave ended. ’
Alison stared at her. ‘I don’t know what to say. How are you finding it?’
Jenna smiled. ‘You know what? At first it was awful. I was in tears nearly all the time, and I was so bloody angry at you for dropping me in it. But the truth is, you did me a favour. I like spending time with my girls. I’ve realised I hardly knew them at all, but now…
now we talk. We go out. We have fun. They’re so good to be around. They really make me laugh.’
She stared out of the window. ‘I think I’ve realised that there are more important things than being promoted to head.
Truth is, I don’t care about that any more.
I don’t think I’ve really cared about it for years.
I was just stuck in this hamster wheel, going round and round because I didn’t know what else to do.
You helped me step off it. You forced me to step off it.
I was furious! But now, I’m so grateful.
’ She turned back to Alison, smiling. ‘Thank you, Mum.’
‘Well,’ Alison said, ‘I never thought I’d ever hear you say that!’
‘No, me neither.’ Jenna laughed. ‘And now,’ she said, folding her arms and eyeing Alison knowingly, ‘I want to hear all about this Mac person that Rosie told me about.’
Alison scowled. ‘She never did!’
‘Oh, we had quite the chat,’ Jenna confirmed. ‘I’d forgotten how much fun Rosie can be, you know. It was so lovely to talk to her properly after all this time. And she couldn’t wait to fill me in on my mother’s holiday romance. So go on, tell me all about him.’
‘There’s nothing to tell,’ Alison said, her voice suddenly croaky. ‘It was nice for a while, but it’s over now.’
‘Yes, I know. And I know why, too.’
‘You’ve got to be kidding me,’ Alison said weakly. ‘She never told you everything?’
‘Well,’ Jenna said, ‘if she didn’t, I dread to think what she left out. The mind boggles.’
‘That bloody woman!’
Jenna took her hand. ‘She’s really worried about you, you know. She says you’re making a terrible mistake. She thinks Mac’s perfect for you and you’re walking away from something that could be so good for you.’
‘Did she tell you why I walked away?’ Alison asked, her eyes pricking with tears.