Chapter 38
Mac stared at the letter on the doormat. It wasn’t possible. Was it?
He bent down and picked it up, his eyes scanning the neat, loopy handwriting, his fingers gently caressing the expensive-looking envelope. Had it got lost in the post? His mother had been gone for months now. Surely, even the post in Kelsea Sands wasn’t that unreliable?
What’s wrong with you, you moron? She’d hardly have written a letter to you addressed to Watersmeet, would she?
But who then?
He carried it through to the kitchen and sat down, staring at it for a moment before finally starting to open it, carefully, gently, bit by bit. It was too beautiful to be torn open like a bill or an appointment letter.
Carefully he pulled out the piece of paper inside.
It wasn’t the same as the ones his mother had written all those letters on, but it was similar enough.
Good quality writing paper, and the actual writing itself…
Not a fountain pen, but some sort of gel pen, he guessed. Still, it was lovely handwriting.
His eyes scanned the contents of the letter, his pulse racing and his heartbeat quickening as he did so.
Dear Dad,
Thanks for your letter. It was quite a shock to receive it and I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to reply, but as you can imagine I’ve had to think about what I wanted to say to you.
Like you said, it’s been a long, long time.
You say you never stopped loving us or thinking about us, but from where we’re standing it’s not that easy to believe it, you know?
It’s always felt to us like we no longer existed as far as you were concerned.
It hurt. It still does if I’m being really honest with you.
A couple of years ago, Mum told us all about your gambling. We didn’t know. They’d never said anything about it at the time. All we knew was that you’d walked out and left us, and Terry took us in. He’s been really good to us. Like a proper dad. I can’t tell you he hasn’t.
Anyway, when Mum finally told us the truth, we were shocked. Wyatt says it doesn’t make any difference and it’s no excuse for what you did. But I read up on gambling addiction after Mum told us, and I sort of think it wasn’t all your fault. Addiction’s like an illness, isn’t it? A disease.
I’m really glad to hear that you’re not doing that any more, and that you’ve made a new life for yourself at Watersmeet. I’m sorry about Grandma MacMillan. She was nice. I wish I’d seen more of her, but I guess it’s too late now.
You might like to know that Mum and I are in partnership.
We run a property development company. We buy up houses and flats, do them up and sell them on.
Terry’s retired, and he sold the business and helped us set up ours.
He says he’s quite happy to sit back and let us keep him in the style to which he’s become accustomed, haha!
Wyatt’s not part of all that, but he doesn’t want me to discuss him or what he does. He’s not ready for any communication with you yet, so I have to respect that. He takes his time, but he usually gets there in the end. Sorry, but it’s up to him, you see?
Anyway, I think that’s all I wanted to say for now. This feels really strange to be honest, but I’m glad you reached out.
Maybe one day I’ll come up to Kelsea Sands and see this amazing Watersmeet for myself? Auntie Stella always said it was beautiful, and I’ve looked it up on Google Maps, which isn’t exactly the same but it’s a start. It looks really cool.
Let’s just stay in touch and see how it goes, okay? I’m glad you’re well and I hope to hear from you again soon.
Take care.
Sarah xx
Mac closed his eyes, holding the piece of paper to his face and inhaling the scent of it.
This was from his daughter. His flesh and blood.
He’d never thought to hear from her again, but she’d written to him.
He’d given her his mobile number, thinking she’d text him at best, but she’d written an actual letter, just like his mum used to.
His throat burned and tears pricked his eyes. She hadn’t slammed the door on him. She’d said she wanted to stay in touch. That maybe one day she’d even come and see him. He could hardly believe it.
He put the letter down on the table, buried his head in his hands and let the tears fall.
Carne let out an excited yap and Mac wiped his eyes as he looked down at the little dog, who was dancing around his legs, his tail wagging frantically.
‘Don’t get upset,’ he told him. ‘You know I’ll be okay. It’s not the first time you’ve seen me cry, is it?’
Carne yapped again and Mac shook his head and looked up. He froze, wondering if he was hallucinating. Standing in the kitchen doorway was Alison.
‘I did knock on the front door,’ she said, ‘but no one answered, so I thought you might be with the animals.’
Carne danced around her like a mad circus dog.
So that’s what you were trying to tell me.
He wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what. His mind was blank. All he seemed able to do was stare at her.
‘Can I come in?’ she asked after a moment.
He blinked and tried to pull himself together. ‘Yes, of course. Sorry.’
She stepped inside and he hurriedly indicated that she should sit down at the table opposite him.
She ignored his instruction and sat next to him, giving a curious glance at the letter in front of him.
‘It’s from Sarah,’ he told her.
Her smile lit up her face, the way it always did, and his heart did that funny little dance in response, the way it always did. He couldn’t believe she was here, and he stared at her, not wanting to take his eyes off her for a moment in case she vanished.
‘Really? That’s fantastic! I’m so pleased for you.’ Then her smile faltered, and she said, ‘It is good news, right?’
He pushed the letter towards her. ‘Here, read it for yourself.’
‘Are you sure?’
He nodded. ‘I would never have written to her if you hadn’t given me the courage to.’
‘You would. Eventually.’ She quickly read the letter, and her smile returned. She laid her hand on his arm and his stomach flipped over. ‘This is brilliant news. So promising. You must be over the moon.’
‘I am. I mean, I know Wyatt’s not interested yet, but she says he likes to take his time. She didn’t say it was a definite no, did she?’
‘She didn’t.’
‘And even if it is… I mean, I never thought Sarah would get in touch, but she has. It’s good, right?’
He was jabbering and he knew it. Nerves had got the better of him.
‘It is,’ she said soothingly. ‘I’m really happy for you, Mac.’
He put the letter back in its envelope with shaking hands. ‘So, what are you doing here? I never expected to see you. This is quite the day.’
‘For me, too. I went to the doctor’s yesterday. I thought you might like to know that Project Alison has gone very well. I’m thirty pounds lighter, my blood pressure’s normal and the nurse is pretty confident about my blood results. I’ll find out for sure in a few days, but it’s looking good.’
‘That’s great. I’m so pleased for you.’ He smiled. ‘I knew you could do it.’
‘I might not have done without your help,’ she said. ‘I wanted to say thank you.’
‘It was all you,’ he told her. ‘I didn’t do anything.’
‘We both know that’s not true,’ she said, squeezing his arm.
He glanced down at her hand and hesitated, then covered it with his own hand, hardly daring to breathe in case he’d made a terrible mistake.
‘I’ve missed you,’ she said. ‘And I’m sorry.’
‘Sorry?’ He narrowed his eyes. ‘What have you got to be sorry for?’
‘For being an idiot. A coward. For running away. For turning my back on the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.’
‘Alison—’
‘No, let me say this, Mac. I know you can’t promise me you’ll never gamble again.
Truth is, I can’t promise I won’t put weight back on again.
All we can do is try, right? We both have so much to lose.
But at the same time, we both have so much going for us.
Life is good. It could be even better if we’re together.
I know there are no guarantees, but I’m willing to take the chance if you are. ’
Was she really saying this? On top of the letter from his daughter, Mac felt as if he was in some sort of lovely dream. If he was, he hoped he’d never wake up.
‘I never told you,’ he said. ‘I love you.’
‘Oh, but you did tell me,’ she said, smiling.
‘Maybe not in words, but you told me every day, with everything you did say, and everything you did for me. But I never told you, did I? So let me tell you now. I love you, Mac. I love you very much. And I don’t want to waste another moment of my life being without you. Will you give me another chance?’
She put her arms around him and he held her tightly, burying his face in her hair, breathing in the scent of her, as she stroked the back of his head and told him everything he’d longed to hear, of how she wanted to make a new life with him, be here with him in Watersmeet, of a future she couldn’t wait to start building.
He had so much to tell her. So many plans. So much to look forward to. But right now, there was only thing he could say.
He pulled away and cradled her face in his hands, kissing away her tears.
‘I love you so much. Welcome home, Alison.’