Chapter 13 #2
I was madly in love with Rosalie, but even today, I knew that I didn’t want to monitor her every move when I was out of this house.
I was grateful for everyone and for everything they’d done to welcome Rosalie, from the It’s a Girl!
banner they’d hung above my door to the many wonderful and sometimes high-techie gifts they’d brought me.
Especially the one that dispensed a warm bottle of formula in any number of ounces you programmed in thirty seconds or less.
I wondered if it would do that for my morning coffee.
But again I wondered, where was Adam? Surely, he’d come to welcome Rosalie home.
I was feeling overwhelmed. I loved everyone, but I wanted to be alone without all these kind well-wishers.
At the same time, I dreaded being alone with the baby, because, yes, although I was a doctor and I knew a lot about newborns, I’d never cared for one twenty-four-seven. I had no idea what to expect.
Adam would understand. He’d probably say something funny. Or encouraging. Even his presence calmed me, and I missed it. I missed him, even as I had a sense of disbelief that I had these powerful feelings at all.
I thanked my partners profusely for the wonderful gift that seemed smarter than I was. Next to me, the baby was sound asleep in her bassinet next to the couch, her tiny mouth open, her face turned up.
“Dylan Baird called me again,” Helen said, eyeing me carefully. “He wants to set up a time to talk with you, at your convenience, of course. He wanted to be respectful of your time with the baby.”
“We liked him a lot,” Pen said with enthusiasm. “He has great credentials.”
Yes, he did, but still, I had an uneasy feeling.
I couldn’t imagine why Dylan would want to do locums here, in the middle of Wisconsin.
He was all L.A.—sunshine, highlights in his blond hair, and surfing.
He was the kind of person who needed an ocean within biking distance to catch a few waves before work each morning.
“I’m worried for your sake that we still don’t have anyone lined up while you’re on leave,” Helen said in a blunt tone.
What she meant was, how many nights could I sustain being up with a newborn and working nonstop all day?
That was the arrangement I’d made with Daria.
She would be off the clock at five p.m. each day until I took leave.
She would be involved daily in Rosalie’s care until I was permitted to become the foster parent of record.
“Are you going to call him?” Helen prodded.
“Tomorrow for sure.” The baby stirred, and I practically jumped, more than ready to step into action. But false alarm—she immediately fell back into a deep sleep.
Penelope put her hand on my arm. “Ani, call him. You’re going to get exhausted fast, and he can start right away. He has fantastic references. We’re okay with him if you are.”
I had no doubt in my mind that Dylan was a great doctor.
We’d developed a cordial, respectful—even warm—relationship over the years, with the mutual agreement that we’d both made a youthful mistake.
Being cordial and seeing each other occasionally was fine.
But this arrangement would bring him too close for comfort.
A little feeling in my gut kept holding out for anyone but him.
Come on, locums people, check out this great opportunity. Where are you?
One of my elderly neighbor ladies stood in the dining room and pointed to Adam’s decorating handiwork in the corner. “How cute is this?” she said, admiring the woven basket and the vases.
It reminded me yet again that I had so much stored up to tell him—how it took my mom and me a good ten minutes just to figure out the snaps on Rosalie’s outfit, the wonderful kindness everyone had shown us, my surprise at learning that he’d somehow snuck over and cut the grass and edged around the beds before we’d brought Rosalie home.
“Looks like you’ve got a furry visitor running up your sidewalk, Ani,” Sam suddenly said, peeking out my front window. “And he’s got a man in tow.”
I bolted up from the couch, mumbled an excuse me to my partners, and opened the door. Arnold immediately pulled his leash free and ran in before Adam could stop him.
“Arnold!” I said, bending down to greet the dog, who gave me plenty of doggie kisses. “You came to see me, didn’t you? I’m so glad!” I was saying that in my doggie voice to Arnie, but I knew whom I really meant.
I stood up to face Adam. “Hi,” I said.
“Hey,” he said back, our eyes meeting and holding longer than necessary. “Arnie couldn’t stay away.”
We stood there for a minute, both of us seeming to blame all our own feelings on the dog. At least, I hoped that was the case.
The dog, sniffing the air, bounded over to the bassinet. Adam ran after him in a panic. Arnold ran directly up to the bassinet, stuck his nose inside, and sniffed the baby delicately, starting with her head and ending with her butt. Practically perfectly behaved, except for the butt part.
“Arnie, meet Rosalie,” I said, stroking his head. “Someone new for you to play with.”
The dog was calm and seemed happy with that, but it was Adam whom I worried about. He simply stood there, staring hard at the baby. He appeared a little quiet, a little frozen.
Was he thinking of his wife? Their dreams, their life together? Perhaps, because he wasn’t smiling like all the other people who had passed through. Plus, he stood back, not daring to completely approach.
Finally, he turned to me. “She’s so sweet, Ani. I wish you all the best.”
I got choked up because, to me, his words sounded final. Like a goodbye. “Thanks,” I managed. “What did you bring us?” I pointed to the gift bag he was carrying. Anything to keep him here for just a few extra minutes.
He handed me the bag. “Open it.”
I pulled out a tiny Packers beanie, green with a little top knot.
I held it up and laughed. “Perfect!” Next was a baby blanket that said “Rosalie, Future Packers Fan,” repeated all over in green and gold.
He must have been concealing another, larger bag, which he brought out from behind his back. “For you,” he said.
Puzzled, I stuck my hand into the bright green paper and pulled out a warm fleece Packers blanket. My eyes started watering, partly from his thoughtfulness to think of me too, and partly because he’d never sit next to me on that checked couch and wrap up with it as we watched a game together.
“I love it. Thank you.” I saw the struggle on his face, so I knew that this was difficult for him. I reached over and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for coming. It means a lot to me.”
He nodded. “Glad you like it.” He paused. “How are you doing?”
I avoided a direct answer. “Everyone’s been so wonderful.
” As I looked around the room, my neighbors, whom I barely knew, were sorting a big pile of baby clothes donated by Penelope and some of my colleagues.
Sam and Mia were sitting on the couch, chatting with Penelope and Helen.
My mom and Daria were sitting on fold-out chairs on the tiny brick patio, deep in conversation.
“My dad’s putting my old crib together in the baby’s room.” I met his eyes. I wanted so badly to tell him that I was happy but also terrified. I wanted to say that I’d been subconsciously waiting for him, and now that he was here, I somehow felt that I could breathe again.
He glanced around the room and out the back sliding doors where we could see our mothers drinking coffee and laughing. “It’s a lot.”
I nodded. “I sort of feel like I did before my first night of being on call. Restless, not knowing what to expect.”
“Here’s what to expect.” He counted on his fingers. “Eating, pooping, sleeping. Eating, pooping, sleeping. Rinse and repeat. Easy peasy. You’ve got it.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“You’re going to be a great mom.” He paused, looking a little conflicted. “I have to tell you something—about Arnold.”
Oh. Arnold. Not the I just couldn’t stay away that I was hoping for.
But then the doorbell rang again.
I opened the door to a tall, roguishly handsome man with longish light brown hair and a beard, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, Birkenstocks, and sunglasses on his head, who sauntered in carrying two giant picnic baskets. Dylan himself.
“Hey, lady, there you are.” He walked right over to me and kissed me on the cheek. “I made you some power dinner. Where’s the little lady?” He spotted the bassinet and asked permission with a lift of his brows.
“Sure, go on over,” I said. Sticking out of his shirt pocket was a small leather-bound notebook that he still kept tucked there for when he was inspired to write spontaneous poetry verses.
They were bad, but nevertheless, it was reassuring that he was still an original guy who’d remained true to himself.
Over the past decade, he’d tended to blow in and out of my life unpredictably, like a sudden storm that made a lot of wind and noise, stirred everything up, and left just as suddenly.
“Hi, Baby,” he said in a higher-pitched voice, waving his fingers above the bassinet. “She’s really precious,” he said, straightening up. “Congratulations, Ani.”
“Thanks,” I said, noticing that Adam was watching all of this with lifted brows.
Before I could make introductions, Dylan lifted up each basket that he’d brought.
“I just took some homemade bread out of the oven. The rest is a burrata salad, grapes, and some chicken salad with nuts and a Greek yogurt dressing. Strength for the journey.”
I gave him a side hug, reminded of how I almost didn’t divorce him because he was such a great cook. “That was sweet. Nice to see you.” He put his arm around me, and keeping it there, reached out a hand to Adam, who was still standing nearby. “Hey, I’m Dylan. Ani and I go way back.”
“Way back?” Adam asked, his tone a tad suspicious as he shook hands with him.
“Dylan’s an old friend,” I said, taking a step away so that Dylan had to move his arm. “And my ex. And also a pediatrician.” Might as well get it all out there, right? “Dylan, meet my friend, Adam Lowenstein. He’s the director of the ER.”
“Oh, hey, great to meet you,” Dylan said. “Turns out I’m going to be in town for a while. I’d love to talk to you about a job.”
“We’re always interested in getting more primary care docs on staff. But all of them are also employed in the community.”
“Well, I’d love to take over for Ani here for a few weeks, so what do you say? I’m in town, I’m available, and I’m here for my best girls.”
Adam’s brows shot up in surprise as the intimacy of that statement hit him. “If you take over for her, you’ll do her assigned ER shifts.”
This was just like Dylan. To present his case publicly. But to refer to the baby and me as my best girls? Way too much.
That was how he was—over the top. That was probably why I fell in love with him at such a young age—he believed anything was possible. He’d encouraged me to apply to medical school when I was working as a nurse, so at least I owed him for cheerleading me onward to follow my dreams.
“My practice is vetting candidates,” I said in a neutral tone. “We should have a decision soon.”
“I know I’m the only candidate,” he said honestly. “I’d take good care of your patients. You know I would.” He did a careless shrug. “I mean, I’m already vetted, right? You know me inside and out.”
Oh no. I wished I didn’t. I couldn’t look at how Adam was taking this. “Well, my partners and I all need to agree. We’ll have a decision by the end of the week.”
I had to have a decision by then. Because I wasn’t going to survive much longer going like I was. I had to do something quick.
“Inside and out, huh?” Adam bristled as Dylan moved on to meet my neighbors. If he’d had a sword, he’d have drawn it right then. And if I read his body language right, he didn’t like this. Not one bit.
And that gave me a ridiculous surge of hope.