Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Adam
As soon as I walked into the ER on a Wednesday morning a little over week later, my phone buzzed with a call from my mom, who literally never called me at work.
“Hey, what’s up?” I asked, answering immediately.
“Just making sure you’re still alive,” she said.
I frowned. “What’s this about?”
“I’m just wondering if you’re coming over here any time soon,” she said in a where-have-you-been tone.
Silence on my end. Over here meant Ani’s house, where she was spending her days. My brain was filled with a flurry of thoughts, the first of which was, why was my mom suddenly concerned about my relationship with Ani?
“It’s complicated,” I looked around to make sure none of my staff was listening.
“Well, you might want to consider uncomplicating it sometime soon, is all I’m saying.”
I paused to think. “Is it too much? Caring for a baby all day? Do you need some help? I can help you find—”
“You don’t need to help by proxy or whatever it is you’re doing,” she said, cutting me off. “Ani can hire someone to cut the grass. She doesn’t need expensive coffee delivered by the UPS guy. Or brand-new placemats from . Or a fourth basket for that abominable dining room corner.”
“Hey, don’t criticize my decorating.” I was mortally offended. “Exactly what does she need, Mother?”
“For you to get off the fence.”
Ouch. I did get off the fence, I told myself. I had been honest with Ani about that. I’d decided on the safe course, one that would be better down the line for everyone. I checked my watch. I was meeting Dylan Baird to give him a tour of the ER, and I didn’t want to be late.
Ani had finally pulled the trigger and hired him to take over for her, which meant he’d be taking her ER shifts as well. I personally hoped that his stay was temporary. I didn’t care for the way he’d been so possessive of Ani, even though I knew I didn’t have the right to care.
“I have one more minute, Mom, and then I’ve got to go.”
“You’re doing everything for Ani except being here. And that’s what she needs.” My mom’s voice cracked a little.
Which concerned me. She never hesitated to tell me what she thought. But she did not typically call me to passionately stoke me into action. In other words, she didn’t interfere. I wondered what piece of the story I was missing.
“I’m not capable of being there for anyone right now, Mom.” There. She might as well know the truth. Life wasn’t a fairy tale. But why did that sound so weak and…cowardly?
“How do you know unless you try?”
She was poking the bear. But I stayed firm. “I love you, Mom, but I have to respectfully tell you to please stay out of this.”
“I love you too, Adam, but I have to respectfully tell you that Ani needs more than deliveries right now. And that’s all I’m saying. Have a nice day.” And then she hung up.
From inside my desk drawer, Liv seemed to frown at me. Which scared me a little. I’d never imagined her disapproving of me before.
Liv would have admired Ani’s gumption. Her courage. Her no-holds-barred way of embracing life.
You’re afraid of living, she seemed to say. An imaginary eye roll from her. You’re an ER doctor. Be the badass that you are.
I snapped the drawer shut. I didn’t know which was worse, the fact that I was imagining my dead wife giving me dating advice or that my mother actually was. Either way, I didn’t feel any better.
I walked out to the nursing station to find Dylan ensconced behind the nursing desk, casually leaning back in a chair with one ankle crossed on the other knee—I noticed he didn’t have dress socks on under his khakis—and chatting up the staff.
“I’m a huge proponent of baby massage. Baby yoga.
Baby meditation. Calms the nervous system, reduces stress, and improves sleep. Does wonders for the whole family.”
Baby meditation? Oh no. Was he one of those docs who threw traditional medicine out the window in favor of…other stuff? Crystals? Inner healing powers? Eye of newt and leg of frog?
“I mean, when there’s nothing medically wrong, I like to do things to help parents handle stress.
” When he saw me coming, he rose and clapped me on the back.
“Hey, Adam.” He frowned and started to poke his thumbs aggressively between my shoulder blades.
“Wow, you’re tight back there.” Whatever he was doing was a little weird but also felt kind of…
good. Maybe I was more stressed than I’d thought.
“You’re holding in a lot of muscle tension. Have you ever had a massage?”
Maybe I really could use one right now because dealing with him was already starting to raise my blood pressure.
Cathy was blatantly crocheting. As I passed, she smiled and lifted up her work, not trying to hide it at all. It was a bright pink baby bootie. “Good morning, Dr. L. This is for Rosalie. I’m making a sweet fuchsia pink flower for it too.”
“Oh.” I stopped to admire her handiwork. And to marvel at how such a mini-sock could fit on a tiny human’s foot. “That’s really cute, Cathy.” I mean, what else could I say? Everyone had stepped up in a big way for Ani and the baby. I decided to close my eyes to the defiance.
“So cute,” Angie said as she grabbed a handful of caramel popcorn from a giant aluminum tin sitting on the desk. “How’s the baby doing, Doc?”
“Settling in,” I said, even though it was Friday, and I hadn’t seen the baby all week.
“That little house is so cute,” BethAnn said, thumbing through a Spafinder catalog. “Ani told us you snuck over there and did a bunch of yard work. It’s really charming.”
I nodded and smiled, letting everyone assume that I’d acquired an instant family.
“Too bad the air conditioner broke,” Angie said, eyeing me carefully, as if she saw right through me. “Ani said she couldn’t get a technician out there until tomorrow.”
It had gotten unseasonably warm, unusual before May. I didn’t have a chance to respond because just then, Dylan pulled a book out of his backpack. The title was Sprouts, Workouts, and Other Power Moves for Your Best Life.
“Do you rock climb?” he asked as I tried to move on with the rest of our tour.
“I’m a runner.” We hadn’t even left the main desk yet. And the staff seemed in no hurry to let us go.
“I rock climb,” Tom said. He was bent over the counter, working on something with a tiny tool. At second glance, he appeared to be repairing his watch. At work.
“I do a little bit of everything,” Dylan said.
Of course he did. “Hang gliding, skydiving, scuba certification, hot-air balloon. Last winter, I climbed Kilimanjaro. The world is our oyster, dude. We have to spend every breath trying to draw in its full essence.” To demonstrate, he sucked in a loud, deep breath.
“I love that!” BethAnn said.
Ivy cracked open her novel. “In that case, maybe I can get in another chapter before it gets busy.”
They were all openly defying me. But I didn’t have the heart to enforce today.
Besides, I had other things on my mind. I knew a great technician for that air conditioner.
I wondered if I could call in a favor and get him out there this morning, since the temp was supposed to reach the mid-eighties today.
“Come and see the acute side of the ER,” I said to Dylan. He was a lingerer, I could tell. Wanting to keep chatting. I wondered if he took a long time with patients.
“Nice to meet you all,” he finally said. “Cathy, I’m going to bring my mini-loom next time.”
“Oh, exciting!” She waved him off. “I always wanted to learn to weave.”
“Nice to meet you too.” BethAnn looked up from whatever she was shopping for.
“My whole philosophy is seizing the moment,” Dylan said as I walked him around the department, showing him all the state-of-the-art features like our new ultrasound machine and the rapid CT scan next door. “That’s why I came here. I want to seize the moment with Ani.”
I froze. “Does she know that?”
“Not yet.” He checked out our urgent care clinic rooms. “But she will. In fact, I’m going to cook a gourmet dinner for her tonight and discuss things.”
Fudge. My hunch was right. He did want her. “Discuss things?” I cleared my throat.
“We were so young when we married,” he said, fiddling with the otoscope cord on the wall.
“We didn’t understand anything about life or ourselves.
But she and I—we’re both adventurers at heart, you know?
She’ll always be the one who got away, unless I do something about it.
I’ve never met anyone like her. I mean, the way she fought for that baby—”
The way we fought for that baby, I wanted to say. But who was I to correct him? I’d jumped off the fence and right back into my small, confined, suffocating safety zone, leaving Ani territory free for a takeover.
But by him? I envisioned him in yoga pants, spreading his mat in Ani’s tiny backyard, meditating with the baby while he simultaneously whipped up a five-star meal. Ugh.
I cleared my throat again. “Um, Dylan,” I found myself saying in a dead calm voice. “Actually, I’m afraid tonight isn’t going to work. I’m having dinner with Ani.”
Ani
When I got home from work that night, I’d barely had time to say hi to Adam’s mom and change into my shorts when Rosie started to cry.
“It’s still a little warm in here,” I said, flapping my hands to fan my face.
Daria was gathering her things. “It will get cooler in time. The repairman temporarily fixed the problem by adding more coolant, but he said you’re eventually going to need a new unit.”
Great. Another expense, and I’d just put myself on leave. Not good.
“She’s starting to act a little fussy right around this time of day,” Daria said.
We shared a look between us. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” I asked.