Chapter 6
Kate
It’s amazing how talking to someone can make you feel better. At first I was hesitant to tell Brody anything, but then I realized it doesn’t matter what I say. Brody doesn’t know me, or my family or friends, or Cam. He’s not going to tell them what I said.
‘I don’t know what to do now,’ I say, resting my feet on the coffee table. ‘Oh, sorry,’ I say, putting my feet down.
‘For what?’ Brody asks, taking a drink of his beer.
‘Putting my feet on the table. I don’t know why I did that.’
‘I don’t get it. What’s the big deal?’
‘It’s bad manners. My mom would’ve had a fit if she saw me doing that, especially as a guest in someone’s home.’
Growing up, my parents were very strict about manners.
They were strict about everything. They said I should always present the very best version of myself, which was code for not being myself, but whatever would impress people or at least meet their standards.
Having proper etiquette is a standard in my world, a minimum expectation, and I’m still not great at it.
Just the other night, Cam scolded me for using the salad fork instead of the dinner fork at our rehearsal dinner.
Nobody even noticed except Cam. No wonder I always felt nervous around him.
He was always watching me, waiting to point out my mistakes.
‘Go ahead,’ Brody says, motioning to the table. ‘Put your feet up. I do it all the time.’
I shake my head. ‘I can’t. It’s rude.’
‘According to who? I just told you I don’t care. Go ahead.’
‘I don’t need to. I’m good.’
He sets his beer bottle on the table, without a coaster, and gets up from his chair.
‘What are you doing?’ I fall back on the couch as he lifts my legs up and places my feet on the table.
He smiles at me. ‘You’re really uptight, aren’t you?’
‘No,’ I say defensively.
‘Are you always like this, or is it just because of what happened today?’
‘I’m not uptight,’ I insist.
He stares at me, then laughs a little. ‘I bet you didn’t use my soap.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘In the shower. I bet you wouldn’t use my soap because you thought it had germs.’
‘I used it,’ I say, folding my arms over my chest.
‘Did you really or are you lying?’
‘I’m not lying. It was an accident. I was thinking about what happened today and didn’t realize what I was doing.’
‘And when you realized it, you freaked out. ’
‘Maybe a little,’ I mutter.
He laughs again. ‘It’s soap. It’s already clean. You don’t have to worry about germs.’
‘It’s not just that. It’s—’ I stop before I tell him the thoughts I had about him in the shower. Why did my mind even go there? I mean, yes, he’s really hot, but I shouldn’t be thinking about that on my wedding day!
‘It’s what?’ he asks. ‘Why didn’t you want to use it?’ He knows the answer, but he’s not getting me to admit it.
When I don’t say anything, he goes back to the chair to sit down. ‘We should do something.’
‘What would we do? We can’t go anywhere.’
‘Yeah, that’s right.’ He picks up his beer and takes a drink.
I point to the TV. ‘Don’t you want to watch the game?’
‘Not really. They’re so far ahead, it’s basically over.’
Getting up, I go over to the window and look outside. ‘When do you think the snow’s going to end?’
‘They’re saying it’ll go on all night. My dad heard it may not end until Monday.’
I turn away from the window. ‘Monday? The car will be buried by Monday! I’ll never get it out!’
‘A tow truck can get it out. They’re used to digging cars out of ditches.’
‘Yeah, and damaging them in the process.’ I lean back against the wall. ‘Cam’s going to kill me. He loves that car. If it gets even a tiny scratch on it, he goes crazy.’
‘He’ll have to get over it. The roads are covered with ice. You couldn’t help it you went off the road. The guy should be happy you’re okay and didn’t get hurt.’
‘He wouldn’t even think about that,’ I say, my chest aching as I realize it’s true. If Cam found out about the car, he’d be more worried about the damages than about me.
‘You’re kidding, right? I mean, I know you left him, but he still cares about you and what happens to you.’
I shake my head, my gaze on the floor. ‘He doesn’t. I’m not sure he ever did.’
‘Then why the hell were you going to marry him?’
‘Because everyone said he was perfect for me. And I believed them.’
Brody gets up and brings his empty beer bottle to the kitchen. ‘Why were you listening to other people about who you should marry?’
‘I don’t know,’ I say, because I really don’t. I never even thought about it. Cam’s handsome and sophisticated and has a promising future. He’s everything my mom told me to look for in a guy, so when I found him, I assumed he was the one. My friends agreed.
‘Sounds like you made the right decision,’ Brody says. ‘Leaving your wedding before it was too late.’
I turn back to the window, watching the snow fall and wondering how this happened. How I got this far with Cam without realizing I didn’t really love him, and that he probably didn’t love me.
‘You want to go out there?’ Brody asks.
‘Out where?’ I turn around and see Brody right behind me, looking out the window. ‘In the snow?’
‘Yeah. I’ve got some sweats you could put on and an extra pair of boots. They’ll be huge on you, but I think you could make it work.’
‘Why would we go outside? ’
He shrugs. ‘It’s something to do. And I like being out in the snow. Always have. When I was growing up, my brothers and I would spend all day outside when it snowed. Sledding, making snowmen, having snowball fights.’
‘Sounds fun. I’ve never done that.’
‘Done what?’ he asks, his gaze going from the snow back to me.
‘The stuff you just said. My mom didn’t want my sister and me getting our clothes wet in the snow or tracking it in the house. We stayed inside on snow days. I’d look through my mom’s fashion magazines and my sister would draw. She’s really good at drawing.’
Brody’s staring at me. ‘You never made a snowman? How is that possible? Everyone’s done that.’
‘I haven’t. I grew up in the city. Where would I build a snowman? We didn’t have a yard.’
Brody takes off, walking fast through the house.
‘Where are you going?’ I call out, but he’s in his room and doesn’t answer.
He returns holding a pair of gray sweatpants. He tosses them to me. ‘Put those on. I’ll go find a hat.’
‘Wait—what?’ I hold up the pants. They go up to my head. ‘Brody, there’s no way I can wear these. They’re too big.’
‘I’ll give you a belt.’ He comes back with a green knitted hat. ‘This should fit. My mom made it for one of my exes, but we broke up before I could give it to her.’
‘You want me to wear your ex-girlfriend’s hat?’
‘Why not? What difference does it make who it was for? All that matters is that it’ll keep your head warm. ’
I put it on. ‘At least it fits. But there’s no way the pants will.’
‘Just try them on and we’ll go from there.’
‘Are we really doing this? It’s freezing outside.’
‘It’s not that cold. It’s above zero. Anything above zero is considered warm around here, or at least warm enough to be outside.’
‘It’s cold to me. I’m not used to being outside in this kind of weather.’
‘We don’t have to stay out long, just long enough for you to throw a few snowballs.’
‘We’re throwing snowballs? I thought we were making a snowman.’
‘We’ll figure it out when we’re out there. Would you just put the pants on?’
I put them on over the shorts, but they don’t have a drawstring so I can’t tighten them. I let go of the waistband and the pants fall to my ankles. ‘A belt’s not going to help. It won’t be small enough, unless you have one small enough for a girl.’
Brody looks at the pants pooled around my feet, rubbing his jaw as he thinks. There’s a thick layer of stubble on his face that’s really sexy. Cam always kept his face smooth. Sometimes he’d shave twice a day just to keep from having a five o’clock shadow.
‘I got an idea.’ Brody runs off and goes out to the garage. Why is he going in the garage?
‘What’s that for?’ I ask when he returns holding a roll of duct tape.
‘We’re just going to try it.’
‘Try what? ’
He lowers to his knees in front of me and pulls the pants up to my waist, folding them over a few times.
‘You are not duct taping these pants on me.’
‘Desperate times call for desperate measures.’ He tugs on the pants, the part around my waist. ‘Can you hold this?’
I take hold of the pants, then watch as Brody wraps duct tape around me. ‘I can’t believe you’re doing this.’
‘I don’t know how to else to keep them up.’ He finishes taping the pants, then rips the tape from the roll. ‘Okay, let go.’
When I do, the pants fall down a little.
‘You need more.’ Brody hands me the tape. ‘You do it, so you can decide how tight you want it.’
‘Maybe we should just forget it. I don’t need to make a snowman.’
‘You’d rather sit in here thinking about your ex and your parents and all the other shit going on in your head?’
‘Well, no. It’s just this seems kind of juvenile. Aren’t we too old for this?’
‘No. My brothers and I have snowball fights all the time and they’re older than me.
We don’t build snowmen, but that doesn’t mean we can’t.
You gotta stop worrying so much about what other people think.
’ He points to the window. ‘There’s nobody even out there. Who’s going to know what you’re doing?’
‘Yeah, that’s true.’
I’m actually kind of excited about doing this. I always wanted to play in the snow when I was younger, but it wasn’t a thing my family did. My sister hates the cold so there was no way she’d even consider going out in the snow with me.
‘Are we doing this or not?’ Brody asks .
I answer by wrapping another piece of duct tape around me. I can’t believe I’m duct taping myself into a pair of sweatpants. If Cam or my family saw me, they’d be horrified and embarrassed. They’d tell me I’m being ridiculous. But like Brody said, they’ll never know.
‘Okay, I’m ready,’ I say, handing Brody the tape. ‘Can I wear your coat again?’