Chapter 9 #2
‘Yeah, but as soon as the snow stops, they’ll want their driveway cleared, and that’s not going to happen if my plow doesn’t work. I’m hoping I can fix it before I have to tell them.’
‘If you can’t, I’m sure they’ll understand. Equipment breaks all the time.’ I turn the burner up on the stove. ‘Do you want some pancakes?’
Brody walks over to me. ‘Where’d you find stuff to make pancakes?’
‘I found a mix in your cupboard.’ I hold up the box.
Brody takes it from me. ‘I never bought this.’
‘Someone must have. Maybe your mom?’
‘No, it wasn’t her. It must have been Danielle.’
‘Who’s Danielle?’ I ask, feeling a twinge of jealousy. I shouldn’t be jealous. I’m not dating Brody. Why would I feel jealous?
‘She was a girl I dated last year. She loved pancakes. She’d make them for dinner, breakfast, lunch.’ He sets the pancake mix down. ‘I didn’t know she left that here.’
‘Were you two living together?’ I ask as I flip the pancakes in the skillet.
‘No,’ he says with a laugh. ‘I’m not ready for that. Not even close.’
‘You’re 26. That’s not too young to live with someone.’
‘It’s not about age. It’s about not being ready. You move in with a girl, you’re in a serious relationship.’
‘And you don’t want that?’
‘I do eventually, but not now. I’ve got too much other stuff going on.’ He goes past me to the fridge and takes out the orange juice. ‘You didn’t have to make breakfast.’
‘I wanted to. I was hungry, and when I found the pancake mix, I suddenly wanted pancakes.’ I turn to Brody. ‘It’s okay, right? That I used your kitchen?’
He smiles. ‘What did I say yesterday?
I smile back. ‘Yeah, I know. I’m just not used to that.’
‘Used to what?’ he asks, pouring the orange juice into a plastic cup.
‘People being so easygoing. Cam was always so rigid about everything. I wasn’t allowed to do anything without asking.’
Brody shakes his head. ‘I don’t know why you dated a guy like that. I don’t even know him and I already don’t like him.’
‘Do you have any syrup?’ I ask, changing topics. I don’t want to talk about Cam.
Brody opens the fridge and takes out a bottle of syrup. ‘I didn’t know I had this,’ he says, setting it on the counter. ‘Must’ve been another thing Danielle left here.’
‘Do you still talk to her?’
‘Not really. Not unless I run into her in town.’
‘Could you get some plates?’ I ask, moving the skillet off the heat so the pancakes don’t burn.
Brody reaches above me to a cupboard and takes out two plates. He hands them to me.
‘Thanks.’ I move the pancakes to the plates. ‘I thought this might be better than eating on the counter.’
Brody smiles. ‘I don’t always do that. Just when I’m being lazy.’
I put the skillet back on the burner and add more batter to it, then turn to Brody. ‘So what do you want to do today?’
‘We’re spending the day together?’
‘Well, yeah, I mean, we’re kind of stuck here, right?’
‘Only until the snow stops. When it does, I’m going to get out there with a shovel.’
‘Isn’t that gonna hurt your back?’
‘I’m used to it. I grew up shoveling driveways as a kid to make extra cash. It sucks doing it now, but it’s better than not getting paid.’
I turn back to the skillet and flip the pancakes.
‘So about what you were saying last night,’ Brody says.
I look at him. ‘About what?’
‘About fixing that spreadsheet. I was thinking about it after you left.’
‘What were you thinking?’
‘That maybe it’s not such a bad idea. You know, adding all that stuff you were talking about.’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah. I mean, if you could set it up, then all I’d have to do is add stuff, right?’
‘Yeah, it’d be super easy. I do it for my clients all the time.
I have this one guy who absolutely can’t stand spreadsheets, but he needed them to keep track of his business expenses.
I set everything up for him and now all he has to do is plug in the numbers.
And if he has questions, he just calls me. ’
‘I’m open to trying it. You mind giving me your number in case I have questions?’
‘I’d be happy to!’
I’m happy because it means we’ll stay in touch. I’m not saying anything would happen between us, but I’d like to talk to Brody again. Maybe we could be friends.
‘Do you want me to work on it this morning?’ I ask.
‘Yeah, if you could. I could bring the laptop out here and we could sit at the counter and do it together. ’
‘Sure! It shouldn’t take long. After breakfast, just give me a few minutes to clean up and then we can work on it.
’ I pause. ‘Oh, wait. I don’t have clothes.
’ I look at Brody. ‘Would you mind if I borrowed something?’ I point to the shirt I’m wearing, the one I put on last night.
‘Or if you want me to keep wearing this—’
‘You should probably wear something else,’ he says, cutting me off as his gaze drops to my body. ‘I’ll give you another one of my sweatshirts.’ He looks up at my face. ‘And pants. Sweatpants.’
‘Um, okay.’
He’s acting strange. Does he not want me wearing his shirt? He said I could pick whatever I wanted. I really love his shirt. It’s so soft, and not like he bought it that way, but like lived-in soft.
His gaze lowers to my body again. Maybe I’m imagining it, but I feel like he’s checking me out. I thought the same thing last night when he saw me wearing his shirt.
It’s probably wrong to think this so soon after breaking up with Cam, but I kind of like having another guy look at me like this, like he wants me, assuming that’s what Brody’s doing.
I could be making the whole thing up in my head, but I don’t think I am, and it’s not just because of how he’s looking at me.
It’s because of what I feel when we’re together.
There’s this energy between us, like an electric current coursing through the air whenever I’m near him.
At first I thought it was nerves. But it’s not nerves.
It’s something else. A feeling I can’t quite figure out.
I felt it last night when I fell on him in the snow.
Then I felt it again when I came into the kitchen wearing his shirt, and then later, when I was in his room, sitting next to him on the bed.
I’m feeling it again now as Brody looks at me .
.?. like a man hungry for more than just pancakes.
Cam never looked at me this way. It’s just not him.
‘Be right back,’ Brody says, taking off. He goes to his room and shuts the door.
I finish making the pancakes, then take a seat at the counter just as Brody returns.
‘I can make more if that’s not enough,’ I say as he sits beside me.
‘This is plenty,’ he says, grabbing the syrup bottle.
We eat our breakfast looking out the kitchen window at the falling snow. It’s so quiet here, and calm. There’s no schedule to follow, no list of things to be done. I can’t remember when I’ve felt this relaxed.
‘Don’t worry about the dishes,’ Brody says as I take my plate to the sink. ‘I’ll take care of them.’
‘Thanks.’ I turn and smile at him.
‘Thanks for breakfast,’ he says, smiling back. He has a really nice smile. It’s one of those laid back smiles that’s more of a half smile than a full-on toothy grin, which is what I’m used to with Cam.
When I’m in the shower, my mind goes back to the mess I have to deal with at home. Cam and his parents. Our friends. My mom and dad. Jill and her husband. They’re all going to try to convince me to get married and live the life I’d planned.
I don’t want to think about it. I wish I could just erase yesterday and pretend it never happened. Except for the part where I met Brody. I’d keep that part.
I really like him. I’m going to be sad when I have to go.