Chapter 9
Kate
‘Brody?’ I knock on his door. ‘Can I come in?’
‘Yeah, go ahead.’
I walk into his room, stopping when I see him. He’s sitting on his bed. Shirtless. My eyes drop to the muscles that line his chest, then slide lower, to his abs.
‘Kate?’
My gaze jerks back to his face. ‘Yeah.’ I walk up to him. ‘Here’s your phone.’
‘Just put it on the nightstand,’ he says, staring at his laptop.
‘What are you working on?’
‘I need to write an email to my customers explaining why I didn’t show up today. I should’ve done it sooner, but I didn’t know what to say. I’m not good with this shit. I know how to mow lawns and plow snow. That’s it. I’m not good when it comes to the business stuff.’
‘I might be able to help.’
‘What do you mean? ’
‘Part of my job is customer service and I’m actually pretty good at it, or that’s what my boss tells me.’
‘If you want to give it a try.’ He moves over on the bed.
I take a seat next to him and feel my heart racing, my breaths speeding up.
I don’t know what it is about Brody, but he keeps causing these reactions in me.
It’s almost like a nervous feeling, but it’s not nerves.
It’s like the feeling you get on a first date with someone you really like.
That initial excitement. The attraction. Wondering where it might go.
But that can’t be it. I can’t be feeling that way about some other guy on my wedding day. I move to the edge of the bed so that we’re farther apart.
‘This is what I have.’ He hands me his laptop.
I look at the screen and see three words written. Sorry, I didn’t .?.?. and then it stops.
‘I didn’t get very far,’ he says, sliding closer to me so he can see the screen. I wish he hadn’t done that. I’m trying to ignore my attraction to him and having him this close to me without a shirt on is not helping the situation.
‘What do you want to tell them?’
‘That I’m sorry I didn’t show up today but that it didn’t make sense to plow when it’s snowing this hard. Tell them I’ll be out when the snow finally stops.’
I stare at the laptop, chewing on my lip as I try to decide how to say all that in a customer-friendly way.
‘I also have to send them a new contract. I’m attaching it to the email. They need to sign it and send it back.’
‘Okay, let me think about this.’ I pause a moment, then start typing, the words flowing out of me. When I’m done, I read it back to myself, then hand Brody the laptop. ‘See what you think.’
Brody looks at the screen, smiling as he reads it. ‘That’s really good.’ He looks at me. ‘How’d you learn that?’
‘Part of it I learned in school. The other part I guess just comes naturally. I’ve been told I’m good with people.’
‘Thanks for helping me out. I thought I was going to be up all night working on that.’
‘If you need any other help, just let me know.’ I get off the bed and head to the door.
‘How did it go?’
I turn back. ‘How did what go?’
‘Your phone call.’
‘Oh. Not great.’
‘Why? What happened?’
I barely know Brody and he acts more interested in my life than my family and closest friends. I wonder if he’s like that with everyone.
‘My sister agreed with my parents.’
‘She told you to get back with your ex?’
‘Basically, yes. She told me I made a mistake.’
‘That sucks. She’s not very supportive.’
‘I knew she’d react that way. I guess I was just hoping she’d listen and not give me advice. But she didn’t listen to me at all.’
‘I could listen if you want to talk.’
‘I don’t want to talk about Cam. It’ll just upset me and I won’t be able to sleep.’
Brody shrugs. ‘Just thought I’d offer.’ He looks back at his laptop. ‘I should probably send this email.’ His brows draw together and a look of frustration covers his face .
‘What’s wrong? You need some help?’
‘I can’t find where I put my contact list. I’m so disorganized. I hate this shit so I don’t do it, or I try to and fuck it up.’
‘I’d be happy to help you look.’ I should get out of his room, but I don’t want to. There’s something about Brody that relaxes me, which is just what I need after talking to my sister. She always makes me feel anxious. Same with my parents. And Cam.
Brody sets the laptop on the bed. ‘Take a look. I’m going to get a shirt.’
As he walks to his dresser, I watch him, noticing his narrow waist and the muscles that line his back. I wouldn’t mind if he kept the shirt off. With a body like that, why cover it up?
Why do I keep having these thoughts about Brody? Is it because it’s been so long since I had sex? Or because Cam just didn’t do it for me like Brody does? Was I even attracted to Cam or just attracted to what he could offer me as a future husband?
‘Did you find it?’ Brody asks, his back to me as he puts on a t-shirt.
‘Um, no.’ I race over to the laptop, picking it up as I sit down on the bed. I wake up the screen and notice it’s not locked. ‘Is this your work computer?’
‘Yeah. Why?’
‘You should really keep it locked.’
‘Why? I’m the only one who lives here and I don’t take it anywhere.’
‘I know, but still. It’s better to be safe than sorry.’
‘You sound like Nick,’ Brody says, looking through one of his drawers.
‘He’s always worried about shit like that, always thinking something bad’s going to happen.
I don’t think that way.’ He pulls a pair of workout shorts from the drawer and walks to the door.
‘I’m gonna go change. I’ll be right back. ’
While he’s in the bathroom, I find the client spreadsheet and quickly glance through it.
‘Any luck?’ Brody asks, coming back in the room.
He’s changed into the shorts and tosses the jeans he was wearing on the floor.
Cam would never do that. All clothes had to be neatly hung or folded, including mine.
The one time I left my work clothes draped over a chair in my hurry to get to yoga class, Cam scolded me.
I was feeling zen after class, only to have it ruined by Cam lecturing me as soon as I got home.
‘I found the list, but I think you could do more with it.’
‘What do you mean?’ Brody sits beside me, close enough his arm brushes against mine. He’s just trying to see the screen but his brief touch had that fluttery thing happening again, only this time it was lower, in a place it shouldn’t be.
‘You don’t have their services listed or a schedule for when you’ll do them.’
‘I don’t need to. If it snows, I show up.’
‘What about the summer? How do you know when to mow?’
‘I’ve got it in a notebook somewhere.’
His system is a mess. How is he running a business like this?
‘It’d be really easy to put it in the spreadsheet,’ I say. ‘And add columns for when they paid. Or do you track that somewhere else?’
‘I don’t track it. I don’t need to. I know all my customers. They’re good people. Most of them are friends with my parents. They’re not going to stiff me on the bill. ’
‘But if they did, you wouldn’t know because you’re not keeping track.’
‘Everything’s good,’ he says, taking the laptop from me. ‘I like my system the way I have it. It’s simple.’ He motions to the screen. ‘And I hate these damn spreadsheets. The less I have to use them, the better.’
‘They’re easy to use once they’re set up. I could help if you want. I could add the payment information and a schedule for—’
‘Thanks, but that’s not what I want,’ Brody says, sounding annoyed. ‘Why don’t you go to bed? I got this.’
‘Yeah, okay,’ I say, sensing I overstepped.
I was just trying to help, but he doesn’t want it.
I forget not everyone’s obsessed with organization the way I am.
I grew up in a home with order, where everything had a place and there were lots of rules.
Cam’s the same way. It’s odd to be around someone who’s not that way, or doesn’t want to be.
‘Goodnight,’ I say as I head to the door.
‘Goodnight,’ he mutters. I look back and see Brody staring at his laptop, rubbing his hand over his jaw.
I go down to my room and get into bed but can’t sleep.
I can’t shut my brain off. I have so much to think about, like if the storm ends tomorrow, where will I go?
Do I find a hotel somewhere close to here and stay there until Cam’s car can be towed out of the ditch?
What if the car doesn’t start? What if it got damaged when it slid into the ditch?
Cam’s going to kill me when he finds out what happened.
That car is his baby. How am I going to tell him?
*?*? *
In the morning, I wake up at six. I didn’t fall asleep until three, after spending hours replaying that conversation with my sister.
At one point I convinced myself she was right, that I should go back to Cam and live the life I’d planned.
Then I came to my senses and remembered I didn’t want that life.
And I didn’t want Cam. In the brief time I’ve spent with Brody, I’ve realized how much better my life could be with someone else.
Someone who lets me be myself and look however I want and do silly things like make snow angels.
With Cam, I felt like I was living in a box I couldn’t get out of.
But being here, I’ve felt free, like I could be this whole other person.
Brody knows nothing about me so I can be whoever I want. There’s freedom in that.
‘What are you doing up so early?’ Brody asks as he walks into the kitchen. I’m standing by the counter, mixing up pancake batter.
‘I’m making breakfast.’
‘What time is it?’
‘A little after seven. Did I wake you up?’
‘Yeah, but it’s fine. I needed to get up.’
‘It’s still snowing.’
‘Are you serious? I was hoping the weather guy was wrong and it’d be over by now.’ Brody walks to the window that looks out to the backyard and yanks up the blinds. It’s snowing so hard that all you can see is white. ‘It’s worse than yesterday.’
‘How much do you think is out there?’
‘Probably 15 inches, maybe more. People are going to be calling me, yelling at me to clear their driveway.’
‘Didn’t you send out that email last night?’