Chapter Seventeen
Posey
The moment Silas kissed my forehead and flicked off the light, I passed out. But my alarm went off far too soon and now I’m dragging ass, but it was worth it.
It’s going to be a double coffee kind of day, especially having to go to yoga first before an already hectic day. Amaya and I have to deliver orders to the local stores in town to stock them up with the fall scents. Tomorrow’s the first of September and sales are nearly double than last month.
“I hope you made extra.” Silas’s sleepy voice behind me makes me smile, but I swallow and hide it.
“Workin’ on it,” I tell him, keeping my back to him.
After everything we did, I shouldn’t be this embarrassed to face him, but I’m not usually a hook-up type. And when it has happened in the past, they’d leave right away.
Silas softly brushes the hair off my neck, his fingers skating across my throat, and burning my skin with his touch.
“Mm…” he groans, inching closer before pressing his lips below my ear.
It only lasts half a second before he pulls away, but my heart beats wildly at the subtle graze.
“I like seein’ my marks on you.”
“What?” My eyes pop open, quickly covering the spot with my palm and spinning around. “You gave me a hickey?”
He beams proudly. “Two of ’em from the looks of it. Although I’d have to examine your ass to see if there’s more.”
“Silas!” I push against his chest to look in the mirror. “I gotta go into town today!”
His chuckle echoes behind me.
When I go into the bathroom and look in the mirror, I gasp at the deep purple bruises his wandering mouth left behind.
“Oh my God…”
“Wear a turtleneck,” he muses, leaning against the doorframe.
“In this heat, are you crazy?” I blow out a frustrated breath.
He shrugs. “Concealer?”
“That’ll only make it look more obvious that I’m hidin’ something.” I scrub at my skin as if that’ll erase it. “Ugh, what were you thinkin’?”
“You really wanna know?” His wicked grins assures me I don’t.
“I’m gonna have to wear it down now and that’s gonna suck in this weather.”
“I like your hair down, so it’s a win-win.”
“Silas, I’m serious. This ain’t good. I’m supposed to deliver soaps to retailers today. This is all your fault!”
“It’s a hickey, not a bomb. Relax. No one’s gonna say anythin’.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re so delusional.”
When I go to walk past him, he grabs my arm and pulls me to stand in front of him. “So much attitude for someone who came twice last night.”
My spine straightens, reliving the memories of how good it felt to finally get some relief that wasn’t from my own hand.
But that doesn’t mean he has to rub it in my face and be cocky about it.
“It might be cool for guys to have hickeys but the moment a woman has one, we’re seen as promiscuous and not taken seriously. It’s not a good look for someone who’s supposed to be a professional.”
“Alright, I’m sorry. Next time, I’ll keep my mouth below your neck.”
“There can’t be a next time,” I tell him although my head’s screaming at me. Liar!
Instead of arguing with me like I expect, Silas crosses his arms and an amused smile spreads across his face.
“You’d be a lot more convincin’ if you weren’t squeezin’ your thighs together like you’re replayin’ last night in your head.”
God, I hate when he reads me so well.
I start to argue but something catches my attention out of the corner of my eye.
“Teddy!” I squeal, pushing Silas out of my way so I can quickly pick him up before he runs off again.
“Um…an excuse me would’ve worked just fine,” Silas mumbles behind me. “And oh yay, the rat’s back.”
I pick up Teddy and nuzzle him with my face. “Where did you go? Are you okay?”
“He looks fine to me,” Silas says.
Petting him, I feel his little ribs. “Aww…he’s skin and bones. Look!”
I shove Teddy into Silas’s chest, but he quickly holds up his hands and stumbles backward.
“Nooo…I’m good.”
I scowl at him acting like a wimp.
“It’s okay, Teddy. Mama’ll take care of you.” As I walk toward my room, memories of Silas calling me mama flood my mind.
No guy’s ever said that to me before, and I had no idea it’d make me absolutely feral in the moment. Silas didn’t hold back and worked my body better than anyone I’ve been with before.
And worse, he knows it too.
I never considered I had any preferences in the bedroom besides the desire to actually finish, but he’s proved there’s a whole other side to me I hadn’t realized until now.
We have insane chemistry, and I fully trust him to make me feel good, but I’m still not a hundred percent convinced he won’t break my heart a second time.
Once I get Teddy back in his cage and refill his food and water, I go to the kitchen to drink my coffee.
“All good now?”
“Yep, safe and secure. Even put a couple books on top of his cage so he doesn’t get out again.”
Silas stifles a laugh. “Marjorie opens cabinet doors and powers off phones. I hardly think that’ll deter her from gettin’ him out again if she wanted.”
I blow out a frustrated breath because he’s right. “Whaddya suggest then?”
“Get a snake and let Teddy be his snack.”
“Silas!” I smack his arm, and he cackles trying to get away. “Gonna feed you to a snake instead.”
“But then who’d be ’round to give you hickeys?” He waggles his brows, clearly proud of his comeback.
“I’m sure Jackson wouldn’t mind givin’ me a hand.”
He snorts. “He’s too busy jerkin’ off to his sister.”
I roll my eyes because I still don’t believe it, but I certainly didn’t need that image in my head.
“Let’s go, we’re gonna be late.” I grab my bag and we walk out to the truck.
Except before he gets in, he pulls out a cowboy hat from the back and places it on his head.
“What’s that?” I hate that he looks so hot wearing it. “Since when do you wear Stetson hats?”
“Since my fan club recommended I wear one to yoga.” He smirks, buckling in.
“Your fan club?”
“The women in the comments of my videos. They suggested I wear one. Gotta give ’em what they want, Posey!”
“You’re actually insufferable.”
“This whole thing was your idea, remember? I’m just doin’ my part to keep the classes filled.”
“Oh, you’re so full of shit. You love the attention.”
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the shifter, he tilts his head toward me with a toothy grin. “Yeah, but the only attention I want is yours.”
After an hour of Silas giving a show to the class and all the women hooting and hollering at him, I’m back in the barn with Amaya and packing up orders for delivery.
It’s not that I’m jealous they thirst after him, but he’s turned my calm and relaxing yoga class into a Magic Mike cowboy-themed event.
No doubt there’s already videos of him from this morning surfacing online of him in gray sweats and a cowboy hat.
I was damn near ready to kick him out.
“So…you ready to admit your feelings about Silas yet?”
“Huh?” I look at Amaya who’s driving us into town.
“You’ve been starin’ out that window for fifteen minutes and ignorin’ me except when I said his name.” She gives me a pointed look. “I’ve seen the videos. He’s very social and charmin’.”
“He’s a nerdy extrovert,” I correct.
“Have y’all kissed yet?”
“Technically, no.”
“So that mark on your neck is…”
Dammit, I knew someone would end up seeing it.
I quickly cover it with my hair. “He sucked on my neck, but that doesn’t mean anythin’.”
She grins, glancing between me and the road, but the look on her face implies she knows I’m lying through my teeth. “And? C’mon, I won’t tell.”
“And…a few other things, okay? But he won’t kiss me unless I tell him what I want. He doesn’t do flings or whatever.”
“That’s a good thing, Posey.”
“Did you forget about the employee rules? We can’t date.”
“So fire him, problem solved.”
“He needs this job. And we live together until he moves into his own place. It’d be like skippin’ the whole talkin’ phase and jumpin’ right into serious relationship territory. Then what happens when somethin’ inevitably goes wrong? It’s a disaster waitin’ to happen.”
“Why’re you anticipatin’ the worst? And y’all already have history, so of course it’ll be different. There’s no awkward phase when you’ve known him for years. I’d take that over datin’ strangers any day. It’s brutal out there.”
“’Cause I don’t wanna be a rebound and get hurt again. It’s bad enough it happened the first time. A second time would send me over the edge,” I admit remorsefully.
“You need to stop makin’ assumptions and talk to him. Although I dunno him very well, I see the way he looks at you every time he swings by during his lunch just to say hi or when he asks if you’re ready to go. He doesn’t give off the vibes that he’d be playin’ you either.”
“No, he’s not like that,” I agree.
“So, I’m right.” She smirks. “Why not just keep things on the down low and see how it goes? If it turns serious, tell your dad or make sure Silas has another job lined up before you do.”
“I’m not sure how to deal with these feelings,” I confess. “It’s a huge risk, especially since he’s Warren’s best friend. He’d be put in the middle if things went south between us.”
I’m already in deep, so might as well tell her everything.
“It’s different with Silas compared to any other guy I’ve been with and that scares me. I completely fold when he touches me. Like…he’ll tell me how good I’m doin’ or how badly he wants me, and I just melt. He talks me through it so I actually finish and it’s the hottest experience I’ve ever had.”
“He found your praise kink,” she teases, sticking out her tongue. “Don’t be embarrassed. I have one too.”
“You do?”
“Oh honey…where do I begin?” She giggles. “I also have a degradation kink. Be mean to me and I’ll squirt all over you.”
My cheeks heat as I laugh. “Oh my God. How am I supposed to look at you now and not think about that?”
“Maybe you should get some handcuffs or nylon rope so he can tie you up.” She waggles her brows. “Oh wait…I bet I can guess another kink of yours.”
“How? I’m just figurin’ out my own as it is.”
“You ever hear of a breedin’ kink?”
“Yes.”
“I bet Silas would love the idea of fillin’ you with his seed and knockin’ you up.”
“Jesus, Amaya.”
Why does the thought of him doing that make me blush?
“See, I knew it!” She points at my red face. “Tell him you want him to cum inside you and have his baby. He’ll go feral.”
“We’re not even havin’ sex!” I admit.
“But damn near close to it, right?” She shrugs. “Stop worryin’ about the what-ifs and the rules for once in your life, Posey. You’re a young, hot, successful woman. Have some fun!”
Amaya’s words echo in my mind the rest of the afternoon. I can hardly concentrate on anything else, and when we return from town, I can’t even look at Silas when he waves to me.
Thanks to her, my brain is now trying to process what it is I want versus what I’ll allow myself to have.
“Hey, Posey. Can we talk?” Ian knocks on the doorframe, grabbing my attention.
“Sure, I’ll meet you in my office in a minute.”
I remove my gloves and wash my hands before walking out. He’s in one of the chairs and hangs up his phone as soon as I walk in.
“Delia’s sick and the vet can’t get here until tomorrow mornin’.”
“What’s wrong with her?”
I have a soft spot for Delia. She’s a sweetheart and one I rescued from the side of the road five years ago. Some asshole didn’t need her for milking anymore and dumped her.
“She’s not eatin’, but she’s bloated and constipated. I tried gettin’ her to drink and she wasn’t interested. I put her in the sick pen for now so the others didn’t bother her.”
“Sounds like gastro issues.” I try not to panic but goats can decline fast. “Let’s try givin’ her some hay and see if she’ll eat that. And add some electrolytes to her water.”
“Will do, boss.”
“I’ll stay with her until the vet comes, so you can go home.”
“All night? Are you sure?”
It’ll give me some much needed space to clear my head and this way she won’t be alone.
“Yep, positive.”
Once he leaves, I find Silas.
“Ready to go?”
“Go ahead without me. I’m gonna stay with Delia.”
“Yeah, I heard she wasn’t doin’ well. Anythin’ I can do?”
I still can’t look him in the eyes, but now it’s worse with Amaya’s words lingering in my brain.
“Uh, no. I’ll be fine. Not the first time I’ve pulled an all-nighter.” I shrug.
“Okay…” he says hesitantly. “Do you need me to bring you anythin’?”
“Nope, I’m good. Thanks.”
Before I can walk past him, he grabs my arm and pulls me into his chest. He brushes his mouth against my ear, and I feel his erratic heartbeat. “I’ll be lonely without you, so text if you need me.”
Swallowing down my emotions, the only thing I can do is nod.