Chapter Eighteen
Silas
The house is too quiet without Posey and I hate it.
Granted I didn’t see her much today, but she’d been distant when we did see each other.
She’s fighting her feelings, and I can respect her needing space to figure them out, but if I’ve learned anything from the last time, I need to be brutally honest about what I want.
But I’m afraid I’ll lose her again.
And I can’t let that happen.
Posey might not be ready to admit what she wants, but I am.
I spend hours applying to jobs and text a few friends for references. I’m experienced in construction, developing properties, project management, and building houses. There’s no reason I shouldn’t be able to find something within my area of expertise.
Eating alone after getting used to being with Posey in the evenings kinda sucks. She’d eat whatever I made, even when she made fun of me for screwing it up, and then we’d watch TV together. Sometimes, she’d read and I’d pull her feet into my lap so I could rub them.
Feeling restless and unable to sleep, I go into her room and grab her comforter and goat stuffies. I put the blanket in the dryer longer than usual so it stays hot and make a pot of coffee. If she’s staying up all night, then I am too.
When I get to the barn, it’s nearly pitch black inside, the only light coming from the back where Ian put Delia. I find Posey on the ground next to her, cuddled underneath a thin blanket, and passed out.
Instead of waking her, I fan out her comforter and climb in next to her.
She barely moves until I pull her body into mine.
“Silas?” she asks in the most adorable sleepy voice.
“Yeah, it’s me. Go back to sleep, baby.” I softly brush my finger down her cheek, admiring how gorgeous she looks without even trying. Her blonde locks are tied back with some loose strands around her face, and I slowly tuck them behind her ear so I can stare at her.
“I should check on Delia.”
“She’s sleepin’ too. I can see her breathin’ from here.”
Posey’s shoulders relax, and she wraps an arm over my waist. “If she wakes up, let me know.”
“I will.”
As she clings to me, I soak in the moment of getting to hold her this way.
Nothing sexual, just soft touches over her arm as she buries her face in my chest. Her cute little snores are the perfect background noise to help me fall asleep too, even though I’m scared I’ll wake up and this’ll all be a dream.
My eyes pop open sometime later, and I hear Delia struggling to breathe. She’s on her side but looks as if she can’t get herself up.
“Posey,” I whisper, lightly shaking her arm. “You gotta check on Delia.”
She blinks a few times before realizing where she is. Abruptly, she sits up, then gets to her feet and walks over to the goat.
“She looked like she strugglin’,” I explain.
Posey feels Delia’s chest and stomach. “I think it’s bloat. I’m gonna try somethin’…” She gets Delia upright. “I’m gonna get some bakin’ soda and water. Can you massage her stomach for a couple minutes? It’ll help with the gas.”
I scramble to my feet. “Sure, yeah.”
After Posey walks out, I lean over Delia and rub her belly. She makes a noise and looks like she wants to bite me.
“Hey, I’m just doin’ what I was told.”
Posey returns with a bowl, drenching syringe, and some gloves.
“What’s that for?”
“Bakin’ soda and water can help neutralize stomach acid, so I’m gonna try and squirt it down her throat.”
“Do you want me to hold her?”
“Yeah, keep massagin’ her stomach. She won’t run off on me.”
Posey’s gentle with Delia while she administers the solution, and within ten minutes, she seems better.
“It’s not a long-term solution, but hopefully enough until the vet checks her out.”
Once Delia’s asleep, I get back under the comforter and wait for Posey.
“Thanks for comin’ and bringin’ me my blanket,” she says when I open it up for her to climb under. But this time she sits between my legs and lies against my chest. I’m propped up on a barrel of hay so we can both lean back comfortably.
“You’re welcome.” I cover us up. “I brought your stuffies too just in case you wanted ’em.”
She chuckles, snuggling deeper into me. “Very sweet of you.”
“I’m a very sweet guy.”
“Mm-hmm,” she muses. “Amaya and I talked about some interestin’ things today.”
“Yeah? You wanna share with the class or—”
“She thinks I need to get over my insecurity about relationships and the fear of you hurtin’ me again so we can have a real shot at makin’ this work. Then she said I have a praise kink…and possibly a breedin’ kink.”
My cock twitches.
“I felt that,” she says, laughing and elbowing my stomach.
“I think Amaya just became my new favorite person,” I quip. “So about these kinks…”
She shrugs. “Might be worth explorin’.”
This time when she inches closer, I bury my nose in her hair and inhale. “I think I could accommodate that.”
But I’m still not kissing her until she admits her feelings—even if it is giving me the worst case of blue balls.
“Uh, Posey? The vet’s here.”
My eyes slowly open until I realize where I am and see Ian in the doorway. His furrowed brow and narrowed eyes are aimed at Posey in my arms.
“Baby, wake up,” I whisper in her ear so he doesn’t overhear.
She startles awake. “Is she alive?”
Glancing over at Delia, I nod. “Her eyes are open.”
“Oh, thank God.” She whips off the blanket and gets to her feet.
I quickly follow so I’m not in the vet’s way.
“Dr. Warner, thank you so much for comin’,” she greets when he steps into the stall.
Posey quickly fixes her hair and clothes, looking adorably cute for sleeping in a barn all night.
Leaving them to it, I walk to the bathroom and relieve myself. I’ve had to go for hours and her pressing on my bladder didn’t help, but I wasn’t about to risk waking her.
Employees start arriving for their shift, giving me weird looks at me wearing my sweats and a T-shirt, I’m sure, but I don’t bother explaining myself.
I need to shower and change, but I need to let Ian know first.
“Yeah, take your time,” he says, but it’s the suspicious look he gives me that has me concerned. If he tells her dad before I get the chance to find a different job or tell him ourselves, he’ll fire me on the spot.
“Thanks, and we were only sleepin’ just so you’re aware. I brought her a thicker blanket and we fell asleep.”
“Right.”
“I’m serious. We kept an eye on Delia all night.”
“So the hickeys on her neck weren’t from you?”
Crossing my arms, I flex my biceps more than usual and stare him down. “Not sure that’s an appropriate thing to ask about your boss’s daughter.”
“I hope I don’t gotta remind you of the employee relations policy?”
“Nope, I’m well aware.”
He purses his lips. “Good. Be back in twenty for your shift.”
I resist the urge to knock him out and walk back to where Posey is in the stall.
“I gotta clean up and change, did you wanna ride with me to do the same?”
“We’re gonna be a bit, so I’ll have Amaya drive me home when I’m done.”
“Sounds good.” I wink before heading out to my truck.
Pulling out my phone, I realize it’s almost dead since I didn’t charge it all night, but it’s the text from an unknown number that grabs my attention.
Unknown
Hey, I’ve been seeing tons of your videos online doing goat yoga and just wanted to say I miss you. Hope you’re doing well.
Silas
Who is this?
Unknown
Aundrea.
How? I blocked her number.
Silas
Whose phone are you using?
Aundrea
When my texts wouldn’t go through, I borrowed a friend’s.
Silas
I blocked you for a reason.
Aundrea
I understand, but please just wait. I really think we should talk.
Silas
There’s nothing to talk about. You said everything you needed to say when you broke off our engagement and gave me two days to move out. And I had to get a new job.
Aundrea
I know, and I’m so sorry for that. Truly. I’d like to apologize in person.
Silas
That’s not gonna happen.
Aundrea
I still love you, babe. Please. Give me a second chance.
After hardly getting any quality sleep last night and working all day today, I’m beat. Posey can barely stay awake while we eat dinner. But the good news is Delia’s doing much better after Dr. Warner gave her some meds and helped with her bloating.
“This is so good, but I can’t keep my eyes open.” She leans back against the couch with the fork still in her hand.
“You’re pathetic,” I say with a laugh. “Let me help you.”
I stab a piece of chicken with rice, then hold it up to her mouth. “Open.”
Keeping her eyes closed, she obeys.
“Now chew.”
“I can’t believe I’m lettin’ you feed me like a child.”
“You like it,” I tease.
“I’m too exhausted to even argue with you.”
“Damn, you are tired then.”
She lets me feed her a few more times before calling it quits.
“Will you lie on the couch with me for a bit?”
Her question takes me off guard, but I’m quick to respond. “Sure, which way?”
“On your back so I can snuggle into your side.”
“Oh I see now…” I grin, getting into position. “You just wanna use me as a human body pillow.”
A slow smile appears on her sleepy face. “Now you’re gettin’ it.”
Opening my arm, she topples on top of me before wedging between me and the couch. Then she wraps her arm over my waist and bends her knee over my leg.
“Is this okay?” Her muffled words against my chest sends warmth through my body.
I tighten my grip, keeping her as close as possible. “You’re perfect.”