28. Chapter Twenty-Eight - Wilder
After giving our statements to Eddo and the other Blades in the alley, Ry and I climb into a taxi to head back to the garrison.
As the car pulls away, we watch from the window as a delirious but conscious Dimitri gets put into the back of a squad car.
The Blades then call in a van to transport his frozen accomplice.
Pockets of city lights blur past us, and Ry and I fall into easy conversation, catching up on his life in Aurora since I’ve been gone.
He laments the practically nonexistent dating pool, which leads him to ask about Gianna and, inevitably, Leigh.
Ry’s relentless teasing fills the car, warning me not to let Brigid see the undeniable smile that appears whenever I speak about Leigh.
But I’m done hiding.
My friends mean too much to me to conceal something as significant as my relationship with them.
It’s time to prove that.
When we arrive at the garrison, we hang our jackets in the foyer.
Ry’s eyes sparkle with mischief.
“Come on, Alec texted that the girls were in the courtyard. You can’t bail on that drink now.”
Exhaustion tugs at my limbs, urging me toward the stairs leading to my room.
But the sound of laughter is impossible to resist.
The day’s events still weigh heavily on my mind, especially Brigid’s attempt to control my access to Stellan.
Her manipulation leaves a gross taste in my mouth.
But more than that, I need Ry and the others to understand that despite my life in Borealis, they still matter to me.
They’re still my family.
“One drink,” I concede.
Ry’s grin is infectious as he claps me on the shoulder and steers me out into the warm night air.
“No, you’re wrong, Brigid. Dead wrong! That’s not what—” Alec cuts herself off as she sees Ry and me.
“Hey! Perfect timing. Brigid was trying to convince us she wasn’t hammered at the Mayoral Ball last year when Janus Dyer visited.”
“I wasn’t,” Brigid insists.
Meg and Alec lock eyes.
Then Alec’s laughter bubbles like a gurgling fountain as her drink sloshes onto the plush outdoor couch.
The rich aroma of spilled whiskey mingles with the heady scent of jasmine from the nearby trellises.
Gianna laughs along with everyone else, but her laugh is a hollow sound devoid of genuine mirth.
I half-expected to find her barricaded in her room, but it seems she prefers the company of others to facing the demons that lurk in the solitude of her thoughts.
I understand her choice completely.
My friends have a way of helping you forget the bad stuff.
It’s what made living here so easy the first time around.
I’d arrived broken and scarred, my soul battered by the shitstorm I’d left behind in Borealis.
But they’d given me a chance to start over, to be the person my dad never wanted me to be.
I flourished here and maybe Gianna can, too, if she doesn’t let the acts of three idiots dictate her future.
“That’s funny, Brigid, because I remember seeing you take several shots on an empty stomach, no less,” Alec reminisces, her voice taking on a dreamy quality as she transports us back to a memory from ten months ago.
Before Dad had killed Sinclair, life had seemed good, or at least, I’d thought it was.
Little did I know that, shortly after, I would meet Leigh, and she would turn my world upside down.
Living in Aurora, I’d been happy, if not aimless.
It wasn’t until I returned to Borealis and chose to compete for Domna that I found something worth fighting for.
Alec continues, “Remember? Everyone was there. Stellan covered the event, wandering around, and trying to get quotes from the inebriated guests. Janus was the only person who deigned to speak to him.”
That’s right.
Stellan had been there, but I didn’t pay him much notice.
He’d been a beat reporter for the mayor’s office, observing from the shadows for a long time, waiting for his opportunity to strike.
Stellan had been quiet, if not nosy.
I believed he was harmless, but after what Dimitri did tonight, claiming it was to further Stellan’s cause, I fear Stellan’s use of violence will push people to their limits.
I glance at Gianna.
More people will get hurt in the process.
Meg draws from a long, ornate pipe connected to an intricately designed water vessel.
Swirling patterns and glowing runes adorn the glass.
“Ah, yes,” she says, exhaling sweet, tobacco-scented smoke into the air.
“Phe wore that hideous gown.”
“Yes! And Brigid, who wasn’t wasted, tripped and fell into the fountain,” Alec recalls, her voice rising in pitch as the story progresses.
“You were floating around like a jellyfish in all that taffeta!”
My smile freezes on my face, cracking around the edges.
That party .
.
.
it was just a few days before the call, before Marlowe told me my dad was in prison, and after that my sister was dead.
I remember Marlowe’s voice, the way she stayed on the phone for a full hour while I tried to grasp the impossible.
How could I live without my sister?
My twin.
My other half, whom I left behind when I moved to Aurora to deal with my problems instead of being there for hers.
I fight the wave of grief that threatens to drown me, one jagged, painful childhood memory at a time.
My chest tightens, as if a vise grip wound around my lungs.
Suddenly, each breath feels stolen, a desperate gasp for air.
Ry squeezes my shoulder.
“You good?”
I force a nod.
He gives me a closed-mouth smile before sitting beside Gianna.
Meg frowns into her drink.
Brigid’s cackle cuts through the tension.
I sit across from her on one of the upholstered floor pillows.
“Papa was so mad! I couldn’t understand why. It’s not as if I fell on purpose.”
“Please! Eddo had a good reason to be angry!” Alec screeches.
“The water made your dress see-through. Everyone saw your pierced nipples!”
The girls and Ry erupt into another fit of laughter, but I know what’s coming next.
“When Wilder tried to pull you out, you yanked him in with you, tux and all,” Meg adds.
I groan at the memory.
I had promised myself nothing would happen again between Brigid and me, but I broke my word that night.
“Eddo about blew a fuse.”
Brigid’s gaze meets mine, and the intensity in her eyes makes my lips flatten into a grimace.
“That was a great night, wasn’t it, Wilder?”
I avert my gaze, feeling Leigh’s presence even in her absence.
Things were different back then.
“I’m heading to bed,” I announce, rising.
“But it’s not even midnight,” Brigid protests.
I shrug.
“It’s been a long day.”
Gianna sets her untouched coffee on the low table and declares, “I’ll come with you.”
Eddo gave her a room across from mine.
It’s small, but it does have a window overlooking the courtyard.
It’s no Najma Hotel, but it also didn’t seem to have been occupied for some time, so Eddo was being an ass for not getting it ready for her sooner.
Alec whines, “You can’t go yet, Gi! I haven’t even asked you all the burgeoning questions I need to know.”
“Like what, Alec?” Brigid asks, a slight edge to her voice.
“Like where Gianna bought that dress? It is so chic.”
“You probably can’t afford it,” Brigid says, her tone dripping with disdain.
Alec scoffs.
“Bitch!”
While Alec and Brigid bicker, I tell Gianna, “You should stay if you want.” It’s good for her to be around other Nebula who don’t want to cause her harm.
“Yeah, stay!” Alec chirps.
Gianna’s gaze flicks between me and the others, lingering the longest on Brigid.
“Have some fun,” I encourage.
Gi smiles, nods, and then sits back down beside Ry.
He leans in, lowering his voice conspiratorially.
“Do you want to hear the story about how I accidentally shot Commander Eddo in the ass?”
“Aren’t you a sniper? That’s what Alec said,” Gianna asks.
Ry’s smile is wide and infectious.
“That’s why it’s a good story.”
A gentle breeze wafts through the courtyard, carrying the heavy promise of rain with it.
The palm fronds rustle and whisper as if sharing secrets of the impending downpour.
I can almost hear the water rushing down the streets and smell the petrichor as it mingles with the sand and debris that will inevitably clog the storm drains.
It’s time to go.
“Wake me if there’s news about Dimitri’s accomplice. The one that got away,” I tell Ry.
He nods, his eyes never leaving Gianna’s face.
“Will do.”
I leave the courtyard, and seconds later, footsteps tap behind me.
Brigid’s hand grips my upper arm, her touch searing my skin through my sleeve.
My room is to the left, and hers is to the right.
We’ve been through this routine countless times.
“Brigid, I’m exhausted,” I firmly tell her.
“Can we talk a bit? It feels like I angered you with how I handled things earlier.”
“You think so?”
A flush of color rises in her cheeks.
She hurries to explain.
“I’m sorry. Having you back . . . it’s been a whirlwind. Stellan is a good guy, but not everyone takes his message the same. I just didn’t want Dimitri’s actions to reflect on him or the Nebula who follow him. You know how the media likes to twist things.”
I fold my arms.
“The media or Stellan?” They are one and the same.
“That’s not fair.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about Stellan’s rally? You made me think I needed you if I wanted an audience with him.”
Brigid drops her gaze.
“I wanted an excuse to spend more time with you. Having you here has been difficult. You’re the same, yet different, and I’m just trying to figure out where I fit.”
“Fit?”
“In your life.”
“We’re friends, Brigid.”
She steps closer.
“What if I want more?”
“Brig—”
“Just hear me out.” I turn away, but she yanks me back to face her.
“After you left, I realized something.”
“Brigid, stop.”
“I love you, and I can’t just switch that off. You make me feel seen, important, and on equal footing. None of my other partners have ever made me feel that way.”
An uncomfortable tightness fills my chest.
None of her other partners were Nebula.
She dated Epsilon, whom she thought were better than her because she didn’t think highly of herself.
“We agreed to keep things casual, and now you’re telling me you love me, all while knowing I’m with someone else. How is that fair?”
“I should have held onto you tighter,” she offers.
I sigh.
Brigid was my distraction.
It was never serious for me.
But it’s my fault if she got the wrong impression.
“Brigid, I’m sorry, but we never should have crossed those lines. It wasn’t fair to either of us. We were hurting.” The light in her eyes dims.
“You are important to me, but I am not in love with you and won’t ever be. I’m sorry.” Gently, I withdraw myself from her grasp.
Brigid blinks, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, before taking a deep breath.
“It’ll never last,” she says.
“Leigh’s queen and queens marry princes or wealthy Epsilons. You’re a Nebula, Wilder. You have a chance to get a fresh start here. Don’t throw away your future for her. If you’re going to Stellan’s rally, you’ll see he is trying to make changes for us. He deserves your support. So do I. Meet me there, and I will introduce you. I wasn’t lying. He is my friend, and so are you.”
Her words sting, hitting a nerve I’d rather not acknowledge.
Sure, I’ve had my doubts, and I’m not blind to our complications, but Leigh and I have been navigating this mess together since day one.
We’ve fought tooth and nail for every moment we’ve shared.
I’m not ready to give her up.
Brigid’s offer to introduce me to Stellan is genuine, but comes with strings attached.
The more favors she does for me, the more she’ll expect in return.
“Goodnight, Brigid,” I mutter, stalking to my room.
I close the door and let out a shuddering breath.
The room is dark, the only light comes from the soft luminance of the moon filtering through the window.
Collapsing onto the mattress, I sink into the soft comforter and pull out my phone.
My thumb hovers over Leigh’s name.
I want to call her, hear her voice, and tell her how much I miss her.
But for some reason, I hesitate.
The sound of laughter drifts in from outside, causing an ache in my chest.
I’m an outsider in a world I once loved—a world that filled a hole in me.
But that life is gone now, and I’m not the person I was then.
I’ve changed, grown, and found something worth fighting for.
I hit the call button.