29. Chapter Twenty-Nine - Wilder
“Hey, stranger,” Leigh’s sultry voice breathes into the receiver, prompting my smile.
“Hey,” I respond as I unlace my boots.
“You sound tired.”
My boots thud on the worn wooden floor as I kick them off.
“It’s been a long ass day,” I admit with a ragged exhale.
The patter of rain against the windowpane intensifies, accompanied by the mournful howling of the wind.
I picture the others scurrying indoors to continue their revelry but I’m relieved to be alone.
“Want to talk about it?” Leigh asks.
I hesitate.
Aurora is a disaster, from the chaos at the power station to the brutal attack in the street.
But telling Leigh feels like an unbearable burden.
She might spiral, convinced that Stellan sent those thugs after Gianna to hurt her.
I’m still far from understanding Stellan’s motives, let alone confirming his involvement in the attack.
No, I decide I can’t risk it right now.
I told Leigh I was here to turn on the power and convince Stellan to stop sowing division.
He hasn’t posted a new article in days, which works in my favor, but I’m afraid of what he might say at the rally and who he will anger next.
“I’d rather talk about your day.” I roll onto my side.
The prolonged silence that follows sets my nerves on edge.
I almost hear Leigh biting her lip.
“Is everything okay? If something happened, you could tell me.” The hypocrisy tastes acidic on my tongue.
Another pause, and then Leigh laughs, but it rings hollow and strained, like in the days before she came out as a Lunar Witch.
“I’m just missing you.”
I don’t believe her.
Something’s troubling her, and her not wanting to tell me has me thinking the worst.
But pressing her further might only push her away.
“I miss you, too,” I confess, my voice strained.
“Like so fucking much.”
“Oh, yeah?” Leigh teases.
Fabric rustles on the other end of the line.
Is she in her room?
I picture her lying on her bed, dressed in silky pajamas, twirling a strand of her long hair around her delicate finger.
Suddenly, the distance between us grows into a physical ache.
If only I could reach through the phone and pull her onto the bed with me.
“Yeah.” My voice lacks the enthusiasm her teasing deserves.
I truly miss her.
“Make anyone cry today?” I joke.
Leigh sighs.
“Not yet, but there’s still time.” I smile as she adds, “Alden is as tiresome as ever. He went to breakfast alone with Janus. Can you believe that?”
“Why? Did you two have plans?” I ask, trying to keep the jealousy from seeping into my tone, but it’s a struggle.
“Queens marry princes,” I recall Brigid saying.
Alden is a prince.
“No, but we haven’t had a chance to agree on anything, nor have we discussed peace terms,” Leigh says.
“I’ve tried to, several times. It’s like he is purposely stalling. All he does is flirt with me. Not to mention, he almost got me in trouble with the vampires. And then he tries to pass Ravi off to me like some sort of gift, which I mean, I am grateful for the help with my magic, but every time I turn around, I fear he’ll stab me in the back. And now Alden is going out with Janus without me. I mean, what the hell is that all about?”
I’m gripping my phone so tightly that I’m surprised it doesn’t break.
The image of Alden licking Leigh flashes before my eyes.
The urge to tell her to send him home is overwhelming, but I know an alliance after years of animosity between our countries would be a monumental achievement for her.
Besides, I have no room to talk, not with Brigid batting her eyes at me at every opportunity.
“It sounds like you have your hands full,” I say.
“Yeah, but you know the worst part?” Leigh says.
“I’d rather my hands were busy doing something else.”
I’m adjusting my arm behind my head to get more comfortable when I groan at her suggestive tone.
Though it comes out sounding more like a growl.
“I wish I were with you.”
“I wish I were naked with you, too, baby.” Her voice, a mere whisper, sends a jolt straight to my groin, every inch of me responding to her invitation.
The image floods my mind: her lying beside me, her lips on mine, the heat of her body pressed against me as I grip her ass, breathless, seeking that intense friction between her thighs.
I bite my lip, trying to regain composure.
Fuck.
I want her.
“What are you wearing?” I ask, but then she laughs, breaking the spell.
“What?”
“That line is so cliché. ‘What are you wearing?’” She mimics my deep voice, and I can’t help but smile at her playful attempt.
“You can get more creative than that.”
“I don’t know. I’ve read some pretty cringy and cliché lines in some of those romance books you like. I mean, where do some of these guys get off with their alpha male bullshit?” I think of the entire shelf she has dedicated to taboo romances.
I know because I might’ve borrowed one or two.
For science, of course.
“I happen to think it’s hot,” Leigh retorts, her voice sultry.
“You can tell me to get on my knees and take it like a good fucking girl anytime you want.”
“Promise?”
Leigh laughs.
“Cross my heart.”
We continue our playful banter, and my worries melt away faster than butter in a hot skillet, but fatigue tugs at the edges of my consciousness.
If it meant I could talk to Leigh longer, I’d tape my eyes open, but sleep is falling over me like a weighted blanket.
“Wilder,” Leigh’s dream-like voice drifts through the phone.
“Are you awake?”
“Yeah . . .” I mumble, fighting to stay present.
The next thing I know, I’m on the rooftop of the Aurora garrison.
As I gaze up at the vast expanse of the star-studded sky, the cool night air caresses my skin.
The February moon is full.
It seems close enough to reach out and touch.
The distant hum of the city below drowns out by my heart’s slow, rhythmic beating.
This rooftop has always been my sanctuary after grueling days on the field, where I can lose myself in the vastness of the cosmos and remember that my troubles, like how to keep the Nebula and Epsilon from tearing each other apart, are fleeting in the universe’s grand scheme.
The soft rustle of fabric draws my attention, and I see Leigh approaching.
She is an ethereal vision in a flowing gown that waltzes in the gentle breeze.
My heart twists.
A dream, then.
Her beauty steals my breath away.
It still amazes me that she’s mine.
But as she settles beside me, a flicker of uncertainty gnaws at the edges of my mind.
If the day ever comes when I’m forced to let her go, I know it will shatter me.
Having just found her, the thought of losing her is unbearable.
I silently vow to fight tooth and nail to keep her by my side—propriety be damned.
Queens marry for love sometimes, don’t they?
“Are you hiding from me or your troubles?” Leigh asks softly.
Her violet scent envelopes me like a soothing balm.
“Where are we?”
“Aurora,” I reply.
“I’m not hiding. I’m . . . contemplating.”
“How to rule the world?” she teases.
“More like my role in it.”
Leigh sighs.
“Sounds fun. Can I join?”
“It’s not a party without you.”
Her smile widens.
“You sound like Gianna.” Leigh tilts her head back and releases a soft gasp.
“Do the stars always burn this brightly in Aurora?”
“Always. Less light pollution means we get this killer view.”
Her exhale is reverent.
“Wow.” She hugs her knees to her chest.
“No wonder you like it here so much. It’s breathtaking.”
I roll onto my side, propping myself on an elbow to study her.
“Is that jealousy I detect, princess?”
“I feel like I’m keeping you away from your one true love,” she chides with a hint of melancholy.
“Aurora is beautiful. I can see why it means so much to you.”
A soft chuckle escapes me as I flop onto my back once more.
“I love it here, but Aurora no longer loves me back.”
In this dream-like realm, my words flow freely.
Here, with Dream Leigh, I can bear my soul without the risk of shattering my heart.
Free from the pressures of reality, we can simply be ourselves, two souls intertwined in a moment of perfect understanding.
I thread my fingers through her silken locks and draw her face closer.
Our lips meet, and her soft sigh has me tightening my grip.
If only we could freeze this moment.
Here, I could hold her forever, shielding her from the cruel realities that await us beyond the veil of dreams.
As we part, the words tumble from my lips.
“I love you.”
Leigh’s smile is radiant.
“Do you mean that, or is this part of your dream?”
I blink.
“It’s the truth . . . but, also, I am dreaming. Aren’t I?” A note of uncertainty creeps into my voice.
“Aren’t I?”
Sitting up abruptly, I pinch myself.
That hurt.
Why did that hurt?
“What’s going on?”
“You’re asleep,” Leigh explains, a mischievous grin on her lips.
“So, this is a dream?”
“Yes, but it’s more like lucid dreaming. I haven’t quite figured out its mechanics yet.”
A lump forms in my throat.
“Wait, are you real?”
“Real enough.”
I swallow.
What the hell is happening?
“I’m dreamwalking,” Leigh clarifies.
“While you’re asleep, I can enter your dream and see what you see. But this time is different from the last. I tried to reenter the person’s dream I visited the first time, yet ended up here with you. It’s different, though. You seem more aware, more . . . you.”
Tentatively, I reach out and touch her cheek again, marveling at the familiar peachy smoothness of her skin.
“I’m confused. How can you do this?”
“Ravi,” she states simply.
Leigh shrugs in a noncommittal gesture.
“He’s teaching me about my magic. Or he was . . .”
Holy shit, she’s inside my dream.
It hits me like a bullet to the chest.
Leigh is in my subconscious, and I just confessed my love.
Again.
And she didn’t say it back.
Again.
Glancing sidelong at Leigh, I struggle to find words.
“Honestly, I’m not entirely sure how I got here,” Leigh admits, seemingly oblivious to my inner turmoil.
Her touch on my forearm sends a jolt of warmth through my veins.
“You must have been thinking about me when you fell asleep. And then, suddenly, I was here.”
That’s an understatement.
Leigh is always on my mind.
“Is it as real for you as it is for me?” I ask.
“More. When I entered Janus’s dream, I woke up covered in dirt. At least, I think it was her dream. That’s why I agreed to let Ravi train me—so that I could do it again. Except he refused to teach me about dreamwalking in depth, and this time, I’m in your head instead of hers.”
I balk at the revelation that Leigh invaded Janus’s dream.
I agree with Ravi; being inside Janus’s head, where she is most vulnerable, is not a good idea for Leigh.
She could misconstrue something, leading to potentially lethal outcomes.
However, I know that if I lecture her now, she will only get angry.
It’s best to share my thoughts when we are both awake and can have a proper discussion.
Pushing my concerns aside for the moment, I ask, “In the other dream, was it similar to this?”
The world around us seems to shimmer, the edges blurring like a watercolor painting.
Leigh shivers.
“None of you were as you are in real life.”
“I was in Janus’s dream, too?” I press.
She nods, avoiding my gaze.
My chest tightens.
“Why won’t you look at me?” I urge, my voice calm despite the dread coursing through me.
The thought of hurting her, even in a dream, is unbearable.
“What did I do?”
“It doesn’t matter. It wasn’t real,” Leigh murmurs, hugging her knees tighter.
My jaw clenches.
Whatever transpired, it was real enough to leave a mark on her.
I touch her chin, tilting her face until our eyes meet.
“Leigh, I’m sorry.”
“Why apologize? It wasn’t you.”
“Because whatever dream me did, it hurt you.”
Leigh’s shoulders slump, and I hold her close as she whispers, “I wish you weren’t so far away. I wish Stellan Navis didn’t exist and that Alden would go home and take Ravi with him. Why can’t this be real life and everything else be a dream?”
I tighten my embrace, wishing I could shield her from the world.
“Because if this were real life, we’d never grow. We’d stay like this forever.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad.”
I kiss her head.
“Leigh, you’re a new queen. Everyone faces challenges when they start something new. Trust me, you’ll get the hang of it.” Her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Look at what you’ve already accomplished. I mean, you’re owning your magic. That’s incredible.”
“Yeah?” she asks, a glimmer of hope.
“Yeah.” A thought strikes me, and a smile tugs at my lips.
“If this is my dream, does that mean I have control here? If I wanted us to be at the beach instead of in the desert, could I make that happen?”
Leigh shrugs, a playful gleam in her eyes.
“I’m not sure how it works, but maybe?”
Holding her close, I close my eyes, conjuring the memory of a long-ago family vacation to Nereus.
It was my favorite trip before my Emergence, Mom’s promotion to Altum Healer, and Desiree’s struggles at school.
I picture the tropical beach town, the endless expanse of azure sky, the sun’s relentless heat, the gritty sand between my toes, and the distant crash of waves against the shore.
Leigh’s gasp prompts me to open my eyes.
We are sitting on a deserted stretch of pristine sand.
The sun hangs high in the cloudless sky, its warmth enveloping us like a hug.
The ebb and flow of the waves is almost enough to lull me back to sleep, but I’m already dreaming.
“It worked,” I breathe.
Leigh arches a brow.
“A bikini?”
The tiny black string bikini she’s wearing sets my blood on fire.
The small triangles barely conceal her curves, and the slinky bottoms seem more suited for lounging than swimming.
I groan.
She is perfect.
But if I keep staring, I won’t be able to resist pouncing on her.
And while I’m hurting to have her, I’m also eager to explore this dream world we’ve created.
Springing to my feet, I flash her a challenging grin.
“Race you to the water.”
“Wha—”
Before she can finish, I take off toward the inviting waves.
Her startled cry and laughter rings in my ears.
Sand flies beneath my feet as I sprint, not slowing until I’m knee-deep in the welcoming sea.
I plunge beneath the surface, the water surprisingly pleasant, like a soothing bath.
“Is it cold?” Leigh calls from the shore.
Emerging from the depths, I stride toward her, grinning.
In one swift motion, I scoop her into my arms.
My laughter drowns out her protests as I toss her into the waves.
Leigh vanishes beneath the turquoise surface, only to resurface, sputtering and wiping the saltwater from her eyes.
“What the hell?” she yells, but amusement dances in her eyes.
“Come on, princess. Don’t tell me you can’t swim,” I tease, earning myself a face full of water.
“I can swim,” Leigh retorts.
I ignore her, pulling her close.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got you. You’re safe with me.”
She wraps her long legs around my waist and encircles my neck as my hands find her hips, toying with the strings of her bikini bottoms.
“I said I can swim,” she repeats, a smile tugging at her lips.
“Then you can let me go,” I challenge, but her grip tightens.
I’m acutely aware of every inch of her skin pressed against mine, every point of contact setting my insides ablaze.
I kiss her chin, trailing kisses over her jaw and throat.
But then she asks, “Is everything okay in Aurora?”
I freeze.
I consider lying, or at least omitting the truth, but it feels wrong in the raw honesty of this shared dream.
“It’s not,” I admit, and her chin lifts.
“But it will be. They’re working on restoring power, and I have plans to see Stellan soon.”
“There hasn’t been an article in a few days. Maybe Stellan’s given up on me?” A hopeful note colors Leigh’s voice.
“Maybe,” I say.
But deep down, I doubt it.
Something tells me Stellan is just getting started.
“Okay, enough talking,” she says as the water laps against our entwined bodies.
“Time for you to kiss me.”
She doesn’t have to tell me twice.
I capture her lips, savoring the taste.
My fingers dig into her skin as I pour all my pent-up longing into this perfect moment.
Her tongue rolls with mine, and I lose it, kissing her with a desperate desire as if her very essence is the air I need to breathe.
“Wilder,” she gasps, my name a breathy plea on her lips.
I tug at the flimsy strings holding her bikini together, my self-control fraying at the edges.
Her mouth latches onto my neck, her lips and tongue leaving a trail of heat as I carry her out of the water.
I lay her down on the compact sand.
As I settle between her thighs, my hips thrust against hers, desperate for friction, for the mind-blowing release only she can give me.
I’m fucking obsessed with her, my thoughts consumed by her intoxicating scent and the way she’s always soaking wet, ready to take every inch of me.
The mere thought of her has me by the balls.
She’s a drug I can’t quit.
“Fuck, I’ve missed this.” I groan as she tugs my shorts down my legs.
“Same.”
Leigh unties the strings of her top and tosses the scrap of fabric aside.
She lays bare before me, a goddess in the flesh.
Every man’s ultimate fucking fantasy come to life.
If this is a dream, I never want to wake up.
But somewhere in the distance, a voice calls my name as I slowly ease inside her, and with each passing second, Leigh’s warmth fades.
Her body grows less substantial in my arms.
She’s slipping through my fingers like sand, and I can’t stop it.
With a groan, she rolls her hips.
“Don’t wake up. We are just getting started.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, desperation clawing at my chest.
“I can’t help it.”
“Dammit.”
“Revisit me?”
I jolt awake, blinking rapidly as I try to orient myself.
Ry’s face swarms into view.
“What?” I snap, my voice rich with sleep and my skin hot with arousal.
Ry takes a step back, a hint of apology in his eyes.
“We found the guy who had the gun on Gianna.”
I sit up, all the heat draining out of me.
“And?”
My heart rate accelerates as the fog of sleep dissipates, replaced by a growing sense of urgency.
I remind myself that I’m in Aurora on a mission for the Crown.
I need to stay focused.
“He’s at the precinct.”
I nod, pushing aside the lingering ache of leaving Leigh behind in my dreams.
I toss the blankets aside.
“Can we question him? I want to know if they’re working with Stellan or simply fanatics.”
A knowing grin spreads across Ry’s face.
“Dreaming about your girlfriend?”
I shoot him a pointed look as I reach for my boots.
“Shut up.”
“Hey, it’s okay. Sometimes I make out with my pillow, too. It’s good practice.”
“Grow up,” I growl.
“Text Eddo to hold the prisoner until we get there.”
Ry’s expression turns serious as he follows me out of my room with his phone in hand.