38. Chapter Thirty-Eight - Leigh
Back at the palace, I rip open Don’s latest letter from prison as I wait for Ravi to return from whatever errand he’s running this late.
My fingers tremble as I quickly scan the documents for any mention of Fynn or Stellan.
I find a whiny message that reeks of desperation.
Don apologizes for trying to steal my throne and for the deaths of his brother and Fynn—his nephew, contrary to Stellan’s claim that Fynn was his son.
His words are meaningless until I confront him face-to-face.
I crumple the letter and toss it into the overflowing wastebasket with the others.
“Your Highness, Mr. Deyanira is back. He’s in the gym,” my equerry announces from the doorway.
“Thank you.”
Kicking off my high heels, I storm out of my room.
I leave behind my phone, which is inundated with hundreds of missed calls and texts from the Council, Gianna, Wilder, and the press.
I can’t focus on them right now—not until Ravi shows me how to astral project into the prison.
If I were to request an official visit, there’s a risk that the press could catch wind of it, and I don’t want anyone to know I saw Don until I can wrangle the truth from his lips.
I need to know who he has working for him and why he leaked the story about Fynn to Stellan.
Is he trying to buy his way out of prison?
When I enter the gym, the scent of sweat and the faint hum of energy greets me.
I spot Ravi, clad in loose-fitting sweats and a matching gray shirt.
His eyes are closed, and his chest rises and falls with each breath.
I sit across from him.
Tread lightly, cautions my father’s ghost.
But I push him away.
I am not ready to face him after what happened at my mother’s.
He’s had twenty years to come clean about Fynn.
“I need your help.” My voice cuts through the silence.
Ravi remains unperturbed, as if I were a mere whisper in the wind.
I study him, my mind racing with questions.
Did he know about Alden’s proposal?
If he did, why didn’t he tell me?
Unless .
.
.
that’s what he was trying to tell me that day in the throne room when he advised me not to accept Alden’s request to visit.
Perhaps he knew what Alden’s intentions were, and for some reason, he didn’t want me to agree to them.
But Ravi and Alden are close friends, so wouldn’t he want me to marry his friend?
It would make many people happy, not to mention secure peace between our nations.
So, what would Ravi gain from my saying no to the proposal?
There must be something more to this, a missing piece of the pie.
“I know you can hear me,” I persist.
I tap my fingers against the cushioned mat.
“And I’m not leaving until you show me how to astral project.”
Still, Ravi does not respond.
A flush creeps up my neck, amplified by the restless murmurs of my ancestral ghosts stirred by Ravi’s presence.
They are as confused by him as I am.
“Ravi!” My voice reverberates off the gym walls.
His shoulders collapse.
“Leigh, whatever it is, I am sure you can figure it out yourself, or there’s someone else you trust more than me to help you,” Ravi says, his eyes opening.
The concern in them makes my breath stall.
If he had known about Alden’s proposal, he wouldn’t be worried about me.
Unless .
.
.
he’s concerned about Stellan’s article, which is none of his business.
“I want to astral project,” I say.
He scoffs.
“I came damn close to doing it again the other day, so I promise I won’t take too much of your time.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose.
“The last time I tried to help you, it didn’t end well.”
I square my shoulders.
If he remains within the palace, he’s obligated to assist me.
He also promised.
But I am desperate enough to beg.
“Please.”
Ravi sighs.
“Have you been practicing your meditation like I asked?”
“Yes,” I lie.
A slight frown tugs at his lips.
“Your aura betrays you.”
I narrow my eyes.
“How?”
“It’s all red.”
“I thought red denotes leadership, passion, and groundedness,” I mimic his deep voice.
“It can, but on the opposite spectrum, it means anger, fear, over-sensitivity.”
“Can you not?” I say, not meeting his gaze.
He sees right through me, which wouldn’t scare me if I knew who he was here for.
“I’m not angry. But I will be if you don’t stop judging me and help me get what I want.”
“Okay,” Ravi concedes with a nod.
“So, you want to astral project.”
“Yes.”
“Where?” Ravi states as he sips his water.
The sound of his swallowing is loud in the quiet room.
He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.
I don’t meet his eyes as I reply, “No where in particular.”
“You’re lying. Your aura is a muddy-yellow.” Ravi’s voice comes out gentle, almost conciliatory.
My jaw drops.
I can’t tell him about Don.
He could tell Alden, who might withdraw his proposal after hearing about Fynn, especially if he suspects I’m a bastard-born child.
But Ravi is still here, which means Alden is as well.
This suggests that the proposal is still on the table.
My muscles tense at this notion.
I am neither relieved nor upset, but I am glad that I haven’t missed the chance to secure peace for our borders.
Keeping the possibility of the alliance alive is crucial.
“Fine,” I say, contemplating a lie to get him to teach me what I need to know.
“I want to visit Wilder. I haven’t heard from him since the rally, and I need to be face-to-face when he tells me what happened.”
Ravi’s eyes narrow, but then he sits tall.
“Fine. The fourth layer of the aura is the astral body. It’s the layer that you project out into the world. Tell me what you felt when you harnessed this magic the first time.”
I swallow.
I hate talking about Thayer or anything having to do with That Night.
I now know I am not to blame for my father and brother’s deaths, but after blaming myself for so long, those feelings still surface.
The shame makes me want to endure dozens of purification rituals, but I force myself to stay seated.
My magic isn’t dangerous.
I can be a better leader if I know how to use it.
“When I did it the first time, I was only able to project a few feet before . . .” I take a deep breath, “before the witch who killed my father and brother attacked us.”
Ravi nods.
“That’s understandable, but you must forgive yourself for what happened. It is the only way to move forward and use your magic easily. When we link an experience with shame, it is hard to access those reserves.” I frown.
Maybe I’ve already failed before I’ve begun.
“But don’t worry, with a little self-love, you can send your spirit anywhere. All you have to do is connect emotionally to the person or place you want to see.”
When I think of Wilder, missing him is a physical pain in my heart.
Not seeing him after being able to feel him in his dream has been maddening, but I didn’t want to risk something happening to him if I visited him again.
I wasn’t entirely lying when I said I wanted to know what happened at the square in Aurora with Stellan today.
Several councilors have sent me messages questioning Wilder’s loyalties.
I’ve deleted them all.
He’s with me.
There is an explanation.
“The astral layer connects the three lower and three higher auric layers, acting as a bridge between solid and spiritual energy,” Ravi continues, his voice low and authoritative.
“When we astral project, we send a carbon copy of ourselves through the spiritual plane. The energies from the spiritual and physical plane make contact, causing you to appear visible to the naked eye. You will feel connected to your physical self, but you cannot make physical contact with others. It’ll be like you are a ghost.”
“How long does it last?” I question.
Ravi shrugs.
“Depends on the wielder.”
So, a powerful witch can hold on to the projection, while a less powerful might not have as much control.
I will lie in the middle; my magic is still untested and raw.
“How do we start?” I ask, my eagerness bleeding into my voice.
Ravi lifts a brow.
“Do you fully accept your powers? You aren’t afraid of the consequences after what happened before? It’s important that we clear any negativity before we start.”
I inhale a cleansing breath.
Using this ability feels like opening old wounds, but I meant what I said.
I am no longer ashamed of who I am or what I can do.
“My magic is a gift.” He continues to study me.
“I mean it. I’ve made great strides to forgive myself for what happened after my Emergence. I can do this. Please help me do this.”
With a curt nod, Ravi straightens.
“Sit tall,” he instructs, and I do.
The mat cushions my hips, and the crown of my head reaches toward the ceiling.
“You begin by expanding and contracting your aura. You must learn to access your magic even while others are in your space. Their energy frequencies will engage with yours, but the goal is not to let it affect you. First, close your eyes.” My eyes shut.
“Breathe in slowly.” I inhale, and the air cools in my lungs.
“Imagine your breath starting in your root, then flowing through your body, out of the top of your head. Think of it like a blow hole as if you were a whale or another aquatic mammal.” I laugh, but when Ravi doesn’t join me, I know he is scowling without opening my eyes.
“Once breathing and visualization are down, you will expand your aura. To practice, astral project by thinking of me.”
I play around with the exercises for several more minutes, with Ravi’s voice guiding and instructing me until his words grow distant.
My focus turns all the way inward, and my magic stirs within me as I conjure an image of Ravi’s face.
Suddenly, I am weightless, my essence no longer tethered to the earth.
I still feel like me, my breaths continuing to come and go.
“You did it,” Ravi says.
A whisper in the stillness.
Ravi still sits on the floor as I stand in my astral body several feet away.
Pride shines in his eyes.
He cradles my human body in his arms, his touch gentle yet secure.
His hold is a promise of protection that both comforts and unsettles me.
He won’t let anyone harm me while I am so vulnerable.
I hang out in my astral form for a few more minutes, stretching my magic to see how far it will go, flexing it like a muscle until I am sure that, if I tried, I could be with Don at the prison.
Closing my eyes, I return my consciousness to my body.
Then, I open them again.
I’m in the gym, resting in Ravi’s arms.
“That was amazing,” Ravi says as I pull out of his embrace.
His warmth lingers on my skin.
I try to smile, but his grin falters when it doesn’t reach my eyes.
“Thank you,” I say without meeting his stare, afraid of what I might find there.
This connection growing between us is dangerous.
The gods know I could use a friend, but too much has happened, and he is still loyal to Alden.
“You are a gifted Lunar Witch,” Ravi says.
“But even so, you know you can’t astral project into Kratos, right?” I freeze, and he shrugs.
“After the article, it’s not a big jump to believe that’s where you want to go.”
I hug my body as if my arms are a shield.
It’s no secret that Don betrayed me, but I still don’t want to talk about him with Ravi.
The sooner I get out of here, the better.
“I don’t expect you or anyone to understand.”
“I know all about being deceived, Leigh. We aren’t so different, you and me. You’d see that if you only gave me a chance.”
I want to believe him, but I can’t.
Ravi sighs.
“Wards make it impossible to astral project into the prison. I’m sorry.”
“Excuse me.” I rise with my heart in my throat.
I head out the door with Isolde hot on my heels.
I need to get to my room to make the painful request to Warden Grey.
My heart sinks.
One way or another, I’m talking to my uncle.