39. Chapter Thirty-Nine - Wilder
I hold the Aurora garrison door open for two Blades before I shove my way inside.
The smell of lemon-scented cleaner and old stone grounds me after the shitstorm I uncovered at Furies.
Ry had texted, telling me it was safe to return home.
The Council was initially angry about the shooting, but after reviewing the circumstances—that I was undercover, on duty, and saved a life—they acknowledged the man I shot would make a full recovery before serving his prison sentence.
Technically, I did everything by the book.
Still, the reality weighs on me—I shot a civilian.
Even though they’ll recover, I discharged my weapon against someone who wasn’t military.
I know how it must’ve looked, but the Council isn’t what has my blood heating in my veins; it is the article Stellan wrote about Leigh.
How fucking dare he write that bleeding shit about her after he agreed to meet her?
Now, how am I supposed to get Leigh to agree to come here?
Leigh will laugh in my face.
I’ve tried calling her several times, but I keep getting her voicemail.
Gods, she must be reeling.
My chest aches with how much I wish I could be with her right now.
With my phone pressed to my ear, I try her again, needing to hear her voice.
I head toward my room, but before I ascend the stairs, Eddo calls out, “Wilder, wait a minute.” I freeze, unsure if he is coming over to yell at me after shooting that Epsilon, or if it’s something else.
He’s probably pissed he didn’t do it.
“Not now,” I begin.
Eddo lifts a brow.
“Now, hold on a minute. I wanted to congratulate you on how you handled the situation in the square today. You saved Stellan’s life.” He playfully jabs me in the arm.
“I knew the real you was still in there. You just needed to be reminded of who you are, and if anyone could do that, it was Stellan. Where is he?”
“I don’t know,” I grumble as I’m forwarded to Leigh’s voicemail.
If I did know where Stellan was, I would wring his neck for publishing that article after our talk.
Not enough to cause any real damage, but enough to leave a mark.
It’s the least he deserves when he looked me in the eye knowing he had that article about Fynn queued up while we were talking.
He knew it would hurt her.
He just couldn’t help himself.
“Well, I am sure he is fine,” Eddo remarks, and I frown.
Yeah, thanks to me.
It’s not as if I want Stellan to suffer, or that I’ve changed my mind about him being the answer to securing peace between the Nebula and Epsilon, but I can still be pissed that he hid this article from me.
He dangled it like a carrot before he left Furies, too, taunting me about whether I knew Leigh or not.
I should have known he had one more trick up his sleeve.
“You made us proud today,” Eddo adds.
I blink.
It’s the first time Eddo has treated me with respect for the time that I’ve been here, and it’s because he thinks I’ve chosen sides—his side.
My desire to make my old mentor proud roots me where I stand, but my determination to fix this country has me giving him my back as I aim for my bedroom.
“Where are you going?” Eddo calls.
“To call my girlfriend,” I reply.
Eddo scoffs.
“Brigid is looking for you!”
I ignore him.
Oh, so now he wants me around his daughter.
Fuck him, and fuck that.
I kick my door closed and lock it, not wanting Brigid to come rub my nose in Stellan’s article and say she told me so, that Leigh has more secrets than a diary.
Such a scandal will be hard to recover from.
Leigh will have a challenging time convincing the public of Stellan’s lying —if he’s lying.
The implications for her reign, our relationship, and the kingdom are staggering.
I can almost feel the crown’s weight pressing down on me, though I’m not the one who wears it.
My phone vibrates in my hand, and I groan.
Brigid
Are you okay?
Wilder
I am fine.
Brigid
I’ve been looking for you since the riot, and then when I read that article .
.
.
I frown at the screen.
She is always weaseling her way into places she doesn’t belong.
Wilder
It’s a lie.
Brigid
I’m sorry, babe, but do we know that for certain?
I exhale.
This conversation is over.
Wilder
I appreciate your concern for my well-being, but I’m in the middle of something.
I am about to call Leigh again when another text from Brigid lights up my phone.
Brigid
Just .
.
.
be careful, Wilder.
This situation is more complicated than any of us realized.
I know.
But at the same time, I know nothing.
Exhaustion weighs me down, and I sink onto the edge of my bed.
I rub my eyes to clear the fog.
I’m beyond tired—physically and emotionally drained.
With a curse, I toss my phone aside and lie back on my bed, staring up at the ceiling fan.
I may not be cut out for this boyfriend stuff.
Juliette bullied my sister, Isolde cheated on me, and Brigid, who wasn’t a girlfriend but was the closest thing I’ve had to a healthy relationship, which is saying something, throws my words back in my face.
I did tell her Epsilon and Nebula shouldn’t date, and now those words taste like ashes in my mouth.
But that’s the coward’s way out—a way to avoid the difficult conversations and the painful truths.
I focus on the ceiling fan’s oscillation, watching as it goes round and round in a never-ending cycle that mirrors my relationship with Leigh.
No matter how hard we try, we never seem to outrun our issues.
I reach for my phone and stare at the blank screen.
The cursor blinks expectantly, waiting for me to pour my heart out in a text.
My fingers move slowly across the keyboard as I try to articulate the depth of my feelings.
Wilder
Leigh, I know things are hard right now, and I can’t imagine what you’re going through.
But I want you to know I’m always here for you.
No matter what happens or what anyone says.
Talk to me .
.
.
I pause, my thumb hovering over the send button.
Is it enough?
Will my words bring her comfort or add more fuel to the fire?
I hesitate, doubt creeping in like a fucking jewelry thief.
Without hitting send, I close my eyes, setting my phone aside.
I could wait and give her space to process the news about Fynn.
But I want to give Stellan an answer soon.
Now that he’s publicly announced his intentions to turn Aurora into its own country, we need to act fast to keep things civil.
I need to convince Leigh to trust him, even though she trusts no one, not even me.
“Hey,” a soft voice says beside me.
Nearly jumping out of my skin, I find Leigh perched on the corner of my bed, staring at me.
“What a day, huh?” she asks.
“What the fuck. You’re here? ” My heart nearly bursts as I lunge to hug her, only to fall right through her and smack my face on the fucking floor.
Leigh stands with one hand covering her mouth as she barely stifles a laugh.
“What the hell?” I ask, and she smiles.
It’s the best thing I’ve seen all day.
Warm and radiant like her.
“I’m here, but not really here,” she says.
“Am I dreaming?” I ask as I rub my bruised forehead like it could ease my bruised ego.
Leigh’s been through hell, and the first thing I do is tackle her.
I’m such an idiot.
“No. I am astral projecting.”
Well, fuck me.
I know she’s done it before, but I didn’t know she could do it again.
“How?”
Leigh shakes her head.
“No time for questions. I am unsure how long this is going to last.”
“You are here because you saw the news. The Council has cleared me, but in case you had any lingering doubts, I promise, Leigh, I didn’t save Stellan because I’ve turned my back on you. I?—”
“Wilder, I believe you, but Stellan needs to be stopped.”
I blink.
“Those are menacing words for a queen whose entire regime is based on peace.”
Leigh grunts.
“He started it.”
“The article. Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, I don’t want to talk about Stellan at all. I don’t want to talk.” Leigh paces before me, her body reminding me of a hologram.
Real-looking, but not.
I push myself off the floor.
“Well, considering I can’t touch you, we have nothing to do but talk.”
She groans.
“Did you talk to Stellan? Did he tell you where he got his information today?”
“No.”
“Did he tell you anything?”
I sigh.
“Come to Aurora and ask him yourself.”
Leigh stares at me.
“What?”
“Stellan’s agreed to meet with you. I am sure you heard the news about wanting to annex Aurora into an enclave?” I say, earning a nod from Leigh.
“Well, I convinced him to speak to you. A conclave, if you will. A chance for the two of you to air your grievances and get on the same page. You want the same thing: justice for the Nebula, a new world founded on peace and understanding. I think you two could work together to unite the factions.”
Leigh taps her lips with her forefinger.
“Hmm. I am willing to meet with him if he takes the article down about Fynn.”
I open my mouth to tell her I will do my best to get him to remove it, but Leigh adds, “And only if I can astral project. I have too much going on in Borealis to leave.”
I shake my head.
“Stellan won’t go for that. He’ll see it as an insult.” He fancies himself a leader, and his pride would take a hit.
If he and Leigh are going to work together, they need to speak face-to-face.
Shake on it.
“There’s no way I can leave.” Leigh sighs.
She sits on the bed.
It doesn’t dip beneath her.
“What’s twenty-four hours in the grand scheme of things?” I sit beside her.
“I’m needed in Borealis.”
“Why? Hot date?” I tease, but Leigh flinches.
My jaw clenches as she hides her face behind her hair.
“Leigh?”
“I am fixing things, Wilder, I swear.”
Despite the warmth in the room, goose bumps prickle my skin.
What isn’t she telling me?
I open my mouth to ask, but Leigh sighs, and the excessive amount of pain I see reflected in her gaze keeps me silent.
“I wish you could hold me.”
If I could hold her, I’d never let her go.
“You know you can tell me anything, right?” I offer.
“Hmm,” Leigh deflects.
Her tone is mischievous.
“Just because you can’t touch me doesn’t mean we can’t make the most of our time together.”
“I thought you had too much going on in Borealis to be here?”
Leigh leans closer to me.
Her bare shoulder should be touching mine if she wasn’t thousands of miles away.
I take in the sight of her dress.
Her breasts spill from the heart-shaped neckline, enticing me to take a bite.
I want to.
Fuck, I want to do more than that.
Leigh is everything I want wrapped in a tight, blonde package.
“What are you thinking?” Leigh asks, her voice a throaty whisper.
“How that dress would look a thousand times better torn to ribbons,” I sigh.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yes.”
“I like this dress, so I won’t tear it apart, but . . .” She bites her lip.
“Close your eyes.” I frown, and she laughs.
“That’s an order, commander.”
I do as she says, but nothing happens.
The longer nothing happens, the more I fidget.
“Leigh? I feel stupid. What?—”
“Open them,” she says after a long silence.
I obey, and my heart falters.
The dress is gone, and she’s lying back on the bed, clad only in her underwear.
Her hands move rhythmically over the comforter.
“What do you want to do to me?”
“What are you doing?” I ask, but she shushes me to play along.
“Everyone is downstairs,” she continues.
“If we are quiet, we can have some fun.”
I sigh as she sits up and crawls toward me with a taunting smile.
“Come on, Wilder. Don’t you want to play with me?”
My laughter is a throaty grumble in my chest.
“Yes.”
Her smile blinds me.
“Good.”
“How do you want to do this?” I ask.
I am completely at her mercy.
“Well, for starters, you are wearing entirely too many clothes.”
Eyes locked on hers, I pull my shirt over my head.
Her gaze is ravenous, like a caress across my chest and abs.
My dick hardens, straining against my zipper.
This is happening.
“Now what?” I ask.
She shifts, now on her side, head propped on her hand.
“Touch yourself,” she commands.
“Let me see what you do when I’m not around.” She rolls onto her stomach, offering me a view of her ripe ass, practically begging to be touched.
“C’mon,” she whispers, "I’ll show you what I do when I’m alone, missing you.”
I unbutton my pants. Leigh groans, her hips undulating as if we’re already joined. I’m captivated, unable to tear my gaze away. Soon, I forget what I’m supposed to be doing, lost in the sight of her parted lips, the little whimpers spilling from them.
“Does that feel good, baby?” I ask.
Her eyes close with a nod. “Y-yeah.”
“How wet are you?”
“Very.”
“Show me.”
Leigh stops dry humping the mattress, rolls over, and shimmies her cheeky blue panties down her thighs. She flings them across the room, gone as if they’d been erased from existence. Lying back, she parts her thighs, displaying just how wet and willing she is.
“Fuck. You’re a dream. Keep touching yourself,” I demand, my hands clenching into the sheets. It’s a painful torture knowing I can’t touch her.
Leigh gasps, slipping her hand between her legs. Her fingers trace up her slit before circling her swollen clit. She sighs as if I’m the one touching her, and I harden more. It’s fucking excruciating.
“With my eyes closed," Leigh breathes, her voice laced with a desperate edge, "it’s your fingers I feel, sliding inside me . . .”
My pants hit the floor, and Leigh’s moan is pure, unfiltered hunger. Her eyes lock on the glistening bead of precum clinging to my tip. “Oh, fuck,” she gasps, her fingers moving even faster.
“Shh, the walls are thin here,” I chastise, though I fucking love it.
I don’t want any of the other Blades hearing her like this. The sounds she makes are for my ears.
“S-sorry, I’m not used to being quiet unless you cover my mouth with your hand.”
I shake my head. The need to possess her, to consume her with every sense, is a tangible force. “You like it when I do that, Leigh?”
“Mm-hmm.”
She moves faster, spreading the wetness around as I grip myself and begin to jerk off. Her thighs are a mess, glistening with her own arousal as her slippery fingers disappearing completely inside her. Her breaths come faster, ragged and desperate, her chest heaving with each gasp.
I grit my teeth, the sight of her driving me wild. “Tell me, Leigh,” I growl, “Tell me how much you like it.”
She’s getting close, but I refuse to let her come alone.
“I love it,” she admits, the word a shaky exhale. “Gods, yes. It’s . . . it’s too much, even like this. I feel you watching me.”
My hips thrust up as she cries out, my muscles tensing with each movement, the bed creaking beneath me. “Wilder, I’m so close.”
“Fuck,” I growl. Leigh pants, and the sound sends shivers down my spine, and my dick twitches in my hand. I adjust my grip, focusing every last bit of my will into mirroring her rhythm.
Leigh watches me with nearly black eyes before she rolls over, face down on the blankets. Her hand is buried between her legs, one knee propped higher to spread herself wide. Her ass rises and falls as she writhes against the sheets, her back arching and neck straining. Her moans send jolts of pleasure through me, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. My blood rushes in my ears.
“Right there, just like that . . . yes, Wilder. Fuck, so good.” Her body bucks against the mattress, the sheets rustling with frantic abandon as she spirals closer to the edge, imaging it’s me fucking her rather than her hand. I let her cries wash over me, fueling my own desire, imagining every detail of her body beneath me.
I’m stroking myself raw as her ethereal curves drive me to the brink of insanity. I’d give anything to grab those hips and sink into her tight heat from behind, claiming her hard and deep the way I know she loves. The angle always hits just right. But I can’t, and she knows it. Her magic makes me watch, makes me ache to my core. That perfect ass bouncing on nothing when it should be slamming back against me. It’s torture. I’m stuck with my unsatisfying grip while she smirks over her shoulder. Untouchable perfection.
“I like having your eyes on me,” she breathes.
“Better than my hands?”
Leigh’s limbs tremble, her thighs quivering. “N-no.”
“You know what you’re doing to me, don’t you? Driving me crazy from a thousand miles away.” My pace quickens, desperation coloring my tone. “Gods, Leigh, that’s not fair. You’re going to make me explode just watching you.”
Her eyes glaze over, and I know she’s reached her peak. I quicken my movements, my heart pounding in my chest, my skin slick with sweat, my breath coming in short gasps.
My abs clench with each stroke, my balls drawing up tight against my body.
A few more seconds tick by, and her moans switch to cursing, her voice rising in pitch, her body tensing. “ Fuck .”
Leigh screams into the covers, her body shuddering, her hand still moving as she rides out her orgasm. I savor the image to conjure the next time the urge to draw hits me. Leigh coming is the prettiest thing I’ve seen, and I want to capture it on paper to immortalize the moment.
“Shit.” I shudder at my release leaving me breathless and spent, my cum spilling over my hand and onto my stomach. I stroke myself through it, prolonging the sensation, my eyes squeezed shut, my mouth open in a silent moan.
I open my eyes to see her reaction, but I’m alone. The room is suddenly cold and empty without her larger-than-life presence. I swear I smell the lingering scent of her perfume and arousal in the air, a ghost of her essence. My hair is damp and stuck to the nape of my neck, and my skin is cooling in the aftermath.
Groaning, I rise, eager to take a shower. My girl is a fucking goddess.