Chapter 30
thirty
I’d intended to take things slowly, but I was ensnared the instant I tasted his kiss. There was no way I was going to be able to resist him.
Rain pelted the canvas tent, filling the silence with its gentle song. I shivered against the chill that had settled in the dark. The forecast hadn’t included rain, but the spring weather didn’t care what the weatherman had to say. I peered over Tripp’s bare shoulder and stared at the radar on his phone. No red or yellow spots mixed with the green. It was just a spring rain shower.
“I should’ve packed more blankets,” I said. He pulled me closer to him, and his warm skin soothed the chill. “Or I could just steal all of your heat.”
“I’ll gladly give it to you. No need to turn to a life of crime.” I gratefully accepted his offer and nestled deeper into the cocoon of his embrace. We were a tangle of arms and legs. Moments before, it had been impossible to tell where I ended, and he began.
We spent the rest of the night curled together as the rain continued to fall. I knew reality would be waiting for us on the other side of tomorrow’s sunrise, but as I drifted off to sleep in his arms, I didn’t let those fears or worries blossom in my mind. Instead, I focused on memorizing every inch of his body. From the freckles on his chest down to his strong calves that draped protectively over my legs, I didn’t want to forget a single detail. His fingers trailed lazily up and down my arms as he held me. Even as his breathing slowed and his heart rate settled into a sleepy rhythm, I felt him draw me into him. By the time sleep took over, every image in my mind was a picture of him, a replay of the kiss and everything after.
I slept deeply despite the lack of a proper bed or walls around me. Morning came, and we both snoozed right through our intended departure time. I awoke to his lips painting a path down my forehead, over my cheeks, and onto my lips. My eyes reluctantly tugged open. The most beautiful sight greeted me. Tripp’s grey-blue eyes were locked on mine.
“Good morning,” I whispered.
“You’re the most beautiful woman.”
“You’re only saying that because I let you in my sleeping bag.” I laughed and turned away from him. I hadn’t brushed my teeth or hair before we’d fallen asleep. His smile didn’t waver. He gently brushed a strand of hair out of my eyes. Then his fingers flowed down the curve of my cheek, tilting me to face him.
“Don’t hide from me, please. I want to see all of you.”
“I’m a mess, and my mouth tastes like last night’s dinner.”
“I’ll be the judge of that.” His lips were on mine before I could protest. When his teeth nipped my bottom lip, I completely forgot what I had to protest. “Delicious.”
A few short hours later, we were packing up the campsite. I would’ve stayed all day and spent another night in the tent if we’d brought more food. I never wanted to leave the island or the bubble we’d managed to create here. But staying wasn’t an option. The little content we’d managed to capture needed to get to Liam. He had lunch plans with his sisters, and Ava had already called and sent a few texts. We may have spent the entire night and half the morning ignoring the real world, but it hadn’t forgotten about us.
“I’ve figured out the last adventure,” I said, breaking the silence that had been building between us ever since we’d boarded the boat back to the dock.
He took my now-healed wrist into his hand and drew it to his lips. “We don’t have to rush to finish the challenges,” he said.
“I know, but I’m ready to get back to it. Besides, the skydive is fast approaching, and we’ll need to shift our focus to training for that.”
He cleared his throat and smiled weakly. “I’ve been thinking about this whole challenge thing and the contract.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. Fear coiled in the pit of my stomach.
“I never should’ve had them add that clause. You and Ava have done a phenomenal job on the campaign. I know we are still running up short on the app downloads, but the comments and reception to the videos have been improving. We also have the fundraiser launching this week. So, we’ve got plenty of content. I don’t see why we need to keep forcing you into these situations. Especially after the broken wrist.”
“It was a hairline fracture, and it’s better,” I said defensively. “Your sister and the orthopedic doctor she referred me to cleared me for normal activity. It was just a minor injury. Nothing else has gone wrong. It worked just fine last night.”
My attempt at a joke fell flat. He let go of my wrist and turned away from me. I tried to pull his attention away from the lake, but he kept his focus forward. His knuckles turned white as his grip on the wheel tightened. A lump rose in my throat.
“It’s not just the wrist,” he admitted after a long pause. “I can’t do that again.”
“Do what?” I asked. If this wasn’t about my wrist, was it about last night? Was it about us? Every second of last night replayed in my mind, and my imagination ran wild. “What are you saying?”
He slowed the boat to an idle. Every minute he took to answer felt like an hour. Tears pricked my eyes as I watched a wave of anguish wash over his face. I braced myself for the inevitable heartbreak,
“Sadie,” he said, turning his body toward me, “I’ve spent my entire life pretending nothing scared me. I chased adrenaline rush after adrenaline rush. I built my entire life and career on my total lack of fear. I’ve broken bones and had more stitches than I can count, but none of that hurt me. Nothing could ever hurt as much as losing Noah. Or so I thought.”
“Tripp, I?—”
He help up his hand to stop me. “I need to say this before I lose my nerve. I didn’t think I’d ever feel anything like the pain of losing him ever again. I focused so hard on the joy and fun that I’d forgotten what it meant to care about and need someone else,” he said, running his hand over his chin. “Then you showed up in my office and were my complete opposite. I didn’t understand how someone like you, this beautiful, smart, and talented woman, could be afraid of her own shadow. I saw you as a challenge, and you surprised me. I knew from the moment I held your hand at that stupid trampoline park that I’d do anything to keep you safe.”
“You did. You’ve shown me a whole new side of myself.”
“It’s been amazing to watch your confidence grow to match the person you are. It really has, and if I’ve played any part in that, I’m honored. But you did the work, Sadie.”
“I still don’t understand what this is about?” I became more confused as he spoke. He seemed sad and distant, but his words didn’t match. “What can’t you do again?”
“I can’t watch you get hurt. I can’t feel helpless again. I can’t stand back and watch you climb into another race car and drive off at 170 miles per hour. And I sure as hell can’t watch as you jump out of an airplane.”
“I’ll be strapped to you, remember?” He rewarded my question with a sad smile. “You’ve got me.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know if I can do that. I’ve never been this scared of anything before.”
“Scared of what?”
“Losing someone.” He shook his head and closed his eyes. “I know I do this stuff all the time, and skydive with my sisters, but I never thought about the dangers before. It’s just something we do.”
“Okay, but I’m not going anywhere, Tripp.” I meant it. I’d never been so sure of anything.
“That’s not what I mean.”
“Then what? Please tell me.” I hated how desperate I felt and sounded. “Are you breaking up with me before we even decide things are official?”
“No, God, no. I’m letting you out of the contract, Sadie. I’m keeping you safe.”
“You’re what?” For some reason, that stung more than I could’ve imagined. He was giving up on me.
“You don’t have to do another challenge or go skydiving. We’ll get content for the campaign another way. A way that doesn’t involve putting you at risk.”
“What if that isn’t what I want?” It wasn’t. I wanted to continue what we’d started, even if that meant skydiving. “I meant what I said earlier. You and this whole thing have given me so much more than I expected. I’m starting to have fun.”
“If you want to keep pushing forward, you can, but I don’t know if I can be there to watch. I watched my brother slip away from me and was unable to save him. I won’t do that again.”
I sat back in my seat and folded my arms in front of me. I understood his fear. Probably better than anyone. But I wasn’t ready to quit. “Then, I guess I’m doing this without you.”
“As long as you’re doing this for you and not to prove anything to anyone. I already know you’re more than capable.”
“I am.”
“I respect your decision, and I’ll do my best to support you. I am proud of you and how far you’ve come. This isn’t easy for me to say.”
I wish I could say the same. This was the same man who’d built an entire company around helping people chase an adrenaline rush. I wanted to understand and respect his reasoning, but I couldn’t. “Can you promise me one thing?” I asked.
“Anything.”
“Don’t you want to know what I’m asking before you agree?”
“No, I trust you.”
His answered soothed some of the fear that remained coiled in the pit of my stomach. “Promise me that none of this changes what is happening between us. Last night,” I said, swallowing back the lump in my throat, “was probably the best night of my life. I want to see this through, but I don’t want to lose what we might have.”
He held out his hand. I took it and locked my gaze on his. “Sadie, I’m not going anywhere. I’m in this with you. I’ll be there for you during the challenges as much as I can, but when I can’t be there, please don’t ever assume it’s because I don’t care.”