Chapter 56
ZARIAH
FAIRY TALE
The dinner was long and painful, but we said our awkward goodbyes in the parking lot. We had a championship afterparty to get to, and while Denali’s parents were still stuck on being shocked, at least my parents understood how important this was to us.
Bear drove a rental car to pick us up for the afterparty at a bar with a great rooftop scene. The place was in full swing when we arrived.
“Zariah!” Cleo belted, pulling me into a hug. I’d seen Cleo drunk only a handful of times, her red hair was wild out of her bun and her smile was loopy. “How’d it go with your parents?!”
“Denali’s parents were seated right behind mine!” I shouted back, hugging her.
“Oh, god! I didn’t do that!” she slurred. “I have no control of the seating here—wow, that’s so funny though!” She giggled. “I love you.”
“I love you too, let’s get you some water,” I cooed, and Denali helped me bring her to the table, grinning at me over Cleo’s head.
The hockey team had their own corner of the rooftop, sitting up on the tables, singing along to the music. The Cup sat on the table, filled with ice and beer. A bottle of champagne was shaken, and I squealed when it hit us.
“Ooo, jeez, it’s cold!” Montoya yelped.
I grinned, wrapping him in a hug too. “I’m so proud of you!”
“That’s not happening again,” he yelled over the music. His hair was slicked up in a cowlick from the liquor, his smile anxious. “I don’t even know how I—I don’t know. I don’t know!”
“We’ll see.” I grinned. I turned to the other guys from the team and tilted up the beer Nick was trying to chug.
He sputtered. “Dammit—”
“You ready for the summer?” I teased him.
“No, I haven’t bought any of my Canadian gear yet.” He finished the beer, slamming it on the table with a pleased grin.
“You’re seriously going to Canada? I thought you were kidding.”
“I’m seriously going to Canada.”
Denali came up to me and I pulled him closer, wrapping my arms around his neck, still talking to Nick. “Are you and Tallulah going to be on the same flight or something?”
Nick’s eyes flickered to mine. “Is she going to Canada?”
I frowned his way while I stroked Denali’s hair. “Uh, yeah. I told you that.”
“Huh.” He shrugged, suddenly interested in grabbing another beer. “Guess I forgot.”
A new song started over the loudspeakers, something to really shake your ass to, and I took Denali’s face in my hands. “Oh my god, we have to dance.”
“Yeah?” he murmured.
I took him by the hand and led him to the dance floor. His team catcalled him from their seats and Denali burst into laughter, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“Those hyenas love laughing, don’t they?” I murmured.
“Yeah, well.” He caught me for a kiss, stroking my back. “They can do whatever they want. I really don’t give a fuck what they think.”
The dinner didn’t solve everything. My parents were shocked by Denali and Atlanta. I understood. This was a big change for all of us.
I purposely took it slow with them, and little by little, I started to bring Denali around the house.
Elijah was the real champion of those evenings.
I was so fucking grateful for him. He used his mama’s boy charm to relax our parents and bring Denali into our orbit.
Elijah taught him so many useful tricks to win our parents over.
By the third dinner, Denali was allowed to wash the dishes. It was real progress.
Maybe I wasn’t worried about it because I knew this was a long-term project.
Trust was something that’d grow with time.
We had years ahead of us for everyone to get comfortable.
And I knew that when I left for Atlanta, Denali would still be bringing over choclava for my parents, working on building that relationship with them.
For now, I didn’t fret about our future. I was happy to spend the hours with my boyfriend.
The Gladiators scheduled a pool party as a send-off to those who were leaving for the summer.
Some of the seniors were graduating. Soon, June was leaving, and I wanted to spend time with everyone before we went our separate ways.
But before we donned our swimsuits, Denali and I decided to take a side trip.
The two of us were on the highway to Gary Peterson’s Welding and Miscellaneous Repairs. The typewriter was finally finished. Denali’s hand was wrapped around my thigh, rubbing his thumb across the denim, squeezing me at every slow light.
“I’m entrusting you with my typewriter because I know you’ll take care of it,” I murmured, teasing, repeating a conversation that felt like a lifetime ago.
“Mm-hmm.” He smiled. “Your typewriter’s going to be safe with me.”
Having learned my lesson about the hazards of air travel, I decided not to take my typewriter with me to Atlanta, and Denali agreed to keep it for the time being.
Of course he did, my sweet, thoughtful, championship-winning boyfriend.
This gorgeous man who absolutely had my heart. God, I was enamored with him.
My eyes drifted to the ring around his neck. Yes, our parents had admonished us about the rings, but we took them off when we were around them.
They weren’t on our ring fingers, but they were a sign that we belonged to each other.
I smiled, thinking back to our conversation at the steakhouse. Things were changing with the Maddoxes, too. I’d started texting Denali’s siblings, and his parents were going to include me in holiday plans at the end of the year.
Except…there was something that prodded me. Something I meant to ask Denali about.
What was it?
“Denali?” I said slowly, thinking.
His eyes flickered to mine, warm and lovely. “Yeah, honey?”
“You said something at the dinner with your parents.” I tried to remember what struck me. What did he say? “You said…we’d talked about Hersch’s illness before? And what would happen? I don’t understand what that means?"
He gave a small shrug. “When we talked about what would happen if you got sick.”
“If I got sick?” I repeated, confused.
“Mm-hmm.”
“We talked about that? I don’t remember that.”
Denali made a face, pressing his lips together. “Oof.”
“What?”
“I’ll never forget that conversation.” He sighed. “I guess you were pretty drunk. I can’t hold it over you, I just didn’t think you’d forget.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay,” he assured me, rubbing my thigh again. He fell into contemplative silence, thinking it over. “Uh…it wasn’t a good day with Hersch. He missed a step going up the stairs, and when you tried to help him up, he yelled at you.”
I wasn’t sure what day he was talking about, a lot of those days bled together, but I could listen to his memories all day.
The soft way Denali spoke about our past helped me.
It gave me the space to remember things without dredging up so much pain.
Denali could make even the bad memories good because he was so gentle when he told them.
“We went to Penny’s Bowlarama—that place on Emerald Avenue. Do you remember Neon Thursdays?”
I nodded, running my fingers across his hand. “Yes.”
“I snuck out a bottle of vodka from my mom’s stash, and we were really drunk in our lane.
We bought nachos, and shared an ICEE, and sat together, and you asked me what would happen if you got sick like Hersch.
” He hesitated. “Like motor neuron disease or something. Where there’s nothing you can do. There’s no cure.”
I curled my fingers over his, holding his hand. “What did you say?”
“If you were given a two-year life sentence…I’d make your life a fairy tale.”
I couldn’t tear my eyes off him. I swallowed. “Oh.”
“We’d use whatever money’s in my retirement account. We’d cross off every bucket list item you had for whatever time I’d get with you. We’d fuck off for two years, doing whatever you wanted.”
Like so many times before, I was stunned into speechlessness. There was thoughtfulness in his words, but the conviction took my breath away. This was something he’d thought about before.
My words stumbled over each other. “At—at the end, Hersch was so angry, and depressed, and—”
“I saw the same things you did, baby.”
“But if I got sick…” More memories bubbled up and I struggled to speak through them. “It wouldn’t be—I wouldn’t be—”
“I know it wouldn’t be easy.”
“No, I mean, I wouldn’t be in a good headspace, it wouldn’t be like now—”
“We’re talking about a death sentence, Zariah. If you weren’t angry, I’d be concerned.”
Of all the things to say—what was I supposed to say to that? It was heartbreaking and funny and so sweet. Denali’s love overwhelmed me. I knew without a doubt that I’d do the same thing for him too.
There’s love and then there’s love with the knowledge of the end. I would’ve gladly embraced it with him and that was terrifying. It was new, I’d never thought about this before. This conversation was deeper than I expected, a quicksand kind of love I couldn’t breathe through.
“I love you,” I managed.
He smiled but that wasn’t the reaction that I was looking for because what I said wasn’t an expression or a sentence—it was an acknowledgment that we’d hit a new landmark, a new road sign to something I didn’t know by name.
“No, you don’t understand.” I quickly shook my head, frustrated I couldn’t explain. “I love you, and it’s, like, different, and it’s big, and all-encompassing—”
“It’s deeper now, huh?”
A knowing smile crossed his face, and I watched him, surprised. “You know?”
“I know.”
“How do you—? No. Do you?”
“Mm-hmm.” He nodded. “You reach a deeper level, and it’s so much love, you don’t know what to do with it. It’s like a pool. You go swimming and you realize you can’t touch the bottom anymore. And it’s fucking terrifying, but it’s also just—” He whistled, his voice low. “It’s pretty incredible.”
“How do you know all of this?” I whispered.
“Because I’m already there, Riah. I’m in the thick of it. And one day, you’ll be there with me.”
I gazed up at him, heart pounding. How much can you really love a person? With your whole body, your whole heart, your whole soul, until everything seems to pulse as one. I rested against my seat, watching him through the hearts dancing in my eyes.
Distance didn’t matter, sickness didn’t matter, I knew in every way, I’d love Denali.