25. Jane
25
JANE
I pull at the side of my bikini top, trying to keep it in place. This suit was my favorite when I bought it, but now standing between Scar and Carter who are both half my size, I wish I opted for something a little more full coverage today.
Although as uncomfortable as I feel, Nikolai doesn’t seem to pick up on it. If anything, he’s been taking in more than his fair share of my body as we eat lunch and lounge by the pool. His gaze follows me like a missile, and every time I meet it, he smiles slyly. He’s bold about checking me out amongst a group of people he should be hiding it from, but no one seems to notice.
Honestly? I don’t want him to stop.
Hayden and Carter have been wrapped up in each other all afternoon. He can barely keep his hands off her hips or around her back, tucking her into his side. It’s great to see him so happy.
My brother strides over to the three of us and lowers his sunglasses to look at me. “Wanna take a dip?”
“Are we not invited?” Scar scoffs playfully.
“Twin time.” Walker smiles. “Because Janie has been too busy for her big brother lately.”
I roll my eyes. “Please, you’re just as busy as I am.” But he’s not wrong. We’re finally in the same city again and have barely seen each other.
Following Walker out to the pool, I drape my coverup over one of the chairs and step into the water. It’s warm and smooth but also refreshing on such a hot day. As I stand in the shallow end, the water comes up to my hips and it tickles the bottom of my stomach.
I grab the hair tie off my wrist and pull my hair up into a messy bun. If I can avoid getting my hair wet today and save myself from washing it tonight, I will.
Walker sets his sunglasses on the table and then sighs contentedly as he enters the pool. But unlike me, who is trying to keep my top half dry, he flops back and submerges himself. When he shoots out of the water, he shakes his head, sending drops of water from his hair flying.
“Watch it!”
He shakes it again.
“Asshole.”
He swims toward the deep end and bobs in the water. I grab one of the floaties and lean forward on it, allowing it to hold me up as my legs dangle.
“So twin time,” I say, “what’s up?”
“Does something have to be up for me to want to hang out with my favorite sister?”
“Only sister,” I remind him.
“Nothing’s up,” he says, his beefy arms treading beneath the water. “I just miss you.”
I open my mouth to say I miss him too, when I take notice of the strain around his eyes. Heavy lines crease the corners of them and their usual playfulness is dulled. I propel myself toward him and hold out my hand.
“Give me your hand,” I say when he frowns, making a give me motion.
“No.”
“James...”
He knows I won’t drop it. Reluctantly, he holds one of his hands in front of my face before pulling it back to resume treading water. It was brief, but long enough for me to confirm what I suspected. His nails are chewed down to the bed. It’s a stress habit he’s had since we were children. My mom used to try wrapping Band-Aids around his fingers but it never worked.
“I’m fine,” he says before I can comment.
“Don’t lie to me.” I’m surprised I can even say that without getting struck by lightning considering I’ve been lying to him for years.
He stares at the hills behind me.
“Is it work?” He seemed excited over lunch to talk about the artists he’s been working with, but maybe he’s feeling the band’s absence as much as Nikolai has.
“No, that’s been going good,” he says. “Really, I’m fine.”
“You’re clearly not. What’s stressing you out?”
“Jane,” he snaps. “I can’t talk about it right now. Okay?”
His aggressiveness takes me aback. We rarely raise our voices at each other; especially not since we’ve been adults. My gut reaction is to push harder, dig deeper, and pull it out of him. Whatever it is, I want to help. Has something been going on for a while now, and because of my own secret, I’ve missed it? The idea makes my stomach turn.
But a shout of cannonball , followed by a large splash of water from the other end of the pool steals both of our attention. A golden head pokes through the surface with eyes the color of the water.
“Of course that was you,” I mutter, wiping away the bits of water that sprayed my face. “I’m trying to keep my hair dry.”
Nikolai swims over to us with a gleam. “Sorry, didn’t mean to make you wet, LJ.”
My mouth drops open at his brazenness in front of Walker, but my brother barks out a laugh. “You better sleep with your eyes open tonight, man. Janie doesn’t like to mess up her hair.”
It’s my favorite asset and I spend good money to keep it healthy, so yes, it’s safe to say I don’t like it getting messed up.
“She won’t do shit.” Nikolai grins. Not with an audience .
I bite my tongue because I don’t trust myself, or Nikolai, to be able to hide the flirtatious undertones our banter now has. And I breathe out a sigh of relief as Hayden, Carter, and Scar make their way into the pool as well.
Nikolai keeps his eyes on me as everyone gathers and I raise my brow at him in a reprimanding Stop it . He smirks and grabs an inflatable ring. His head disappears for a moment, before he re-emerges in the center of the ring. He lays his arms over the top of the ring and I discreetly trace the lines of muscle.
His skin glistens with water under the sun, like the light is made specially for him. And although his trunks are hidden beneath the water, I’ve been secretly admiring them all afternoon as well. Or more so, the way the navy material clings to his ass and thighs.
I have a feeling I’ll spend the rest of my life admiring the way Nikolai Brooks looks. I spent an embarrassingly long time last night staring at photos and watching videos fans were posting of his show. He wore a short sleeved, black button-up shirt and black jeans. And because his set was in the afternoon, he wore black sunglasses to block out the blinding light.
God, he looked so fucking hot that he had me squirming in my bed. It’s a good thing he wasn’t home last night, because I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from walking down the hallway to his room and climbing into bed with him.
Or on top of him.
Even as everyone forms a circle in the water and the conversation picks back up, I still can’t help myself as my eye is constantly drawn in his direction. And every time it is, he’s always staring at me.
My skin burns and it’s not from the sun. “I’m gonna run to the bathroom.”
I quickly dry myself off and tiptoe across the hot pavement into the house. I feel Nikolai’s stare the entire way, but I don’t turn around.
The AC pebbles my skin as I walk through the house. There’s a bathroom toward the entryway, and I make my way toward it, winding down a hallway covered in Carter’s photography. I locate the room and just as the door is about to close, it flings open and I whip my head around. Nikolai barges in and quickly shuts the door behind him, then he stands in front of it.
“What are you doing? You can’t be here!”
His chest heaves as drops of water cascade down it. Droplets cling to his hair, too, and the golden strands curl around his ears. “Says who?”
“Says the person trying to use the bathroom,” I say slowly. “This isn’t a two-person job.”
“Anything can be made a two-person job.”
“Get out.”
He crosses his arms. “No.”
“Someone might’ve seen you come in here. Do you want to have to explain that to my brother?”
“They’re all as you left them. No one’s coming to look for us right now.”
Growing exasperated with him, but also equally distracted by his half naked body and the ability to fully check him out without anyone noticing, I say, “Look, you seem to be enjoying toying the line with this whole getting caught thing. But we can talk at home.”
By the time Nikolai got back last night, I was already in bed. He had texted me about the pool party and then slept in this morning, only waking up twenty minutes before we had to leave. So that hasn’t left much time for us to catch up, but now is not the time.
Not surrounded by our friends and my brother.
“Who says I wanted to talk?”