Zak
ZAK
She’s engaged. Engaged. I wince as the bourbon burns down my throat, and open the top button of my shirt, regretting not changing into sweats before heading to the hotel bar. This time next year, Jaime will be married. To Louis fucking Chevalier.
I googled him. After she left me outside, I searched up everything I could find on the guy. It turns out Billionaire Ken is on every list of ‘most eligible bachelors’. I scoff to my glass. Not so eligible apparently.
Sitting through the rest of the Winter Mingle was sheer hell. Being in the same room as Jaime knowing the blond-haired billionaire beside her is the reason she isn’t mine. It doesn’t make things easier that she doesn’t want to marry him either. The real kicker is that she won’t do anything about it.
Closing my eyes, I breathe in a deep breath, exhaling slowly as I try to quell the building rage. At least Mom didn’t seem to notice things were off. I managed to talk with the people on our table and held my own as she went off to mingle and make connections that would benefit her company.
Although, when she called it at eleven, the Mingle was still in full swing, so maybe she did notice. I saw her to her room before heading straight to the hotel bar, because there’s no way I’m sleeping any time soon. Not with hurricane Jaime raging in my head.
I wish she’d told me.
Raising my glass, I tip it back, emptying it, before signaling to the bartender for another. Would it have made it easier if she’d told me from the start? Definitely. If she’d told me straight up in freshman year that she was engaged, I’d have stepped down. No eighteen-year-old wants to get tangled up in that shit.
If she’d told me this year . . . No. I don’t think things would have changed. I can’t decide whether I’m pissed or disappointed. Maybe both.
Does Billionaire Ken even know her? Have they been meeting up during holidays? The thought of him fucking her sends waves of nausea through me, and I clench my fists. Does he know she cheated on him with me? My stomach rolls. I’m definitely pissed about that. Cheating is never acceptable, and she made me part of that without my consent. If I’d known she was taken, I’d never have let it get that far.
“?”
My entire body freezes at the sound of Jaime’s voice, as if my own thoughts have conjured her. Slowly, I turn around to find her standing a little way away, her expression cautious, as though I’m a wild animal she doesn’t know how to approach. Her hair is still pinned back with pearls and diamonds, her make up flawless, but her dress has been replaced by black velour sweats, her heels for slides. She still looks like a dream even if she’s a fucking nightmare.
I have no idea what to say, so I say nothing, turning back to the bar and the fresh glass of bourbon that’s appeared in front of me.
“,” she tries again. “Can we talk?”
“Shouldn’t you be with him ?” I snap, fingers gripping the glass as I glare at the amber liquid.
I don’t dare breathe as she sighs, wondering whether she’ll do us both a favor and leave. But the footsteps don’t get quieter, they grow closer, and she pulls herself up onto the barstool beside me.
“Please? ?”
Turning my head to look at her, I raise my eyebrows. “Please, what? Did you tell him? Did you tell him you cheated on him with me? Did he kick you out? Is that what happened? Is that why you’re here?”
She winces but doesn’t look away. “I haven’t seen Louis in six years. When I came back to Florida for that family emergency at the start of the year? That was to meet him.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I say, shaking my head. “You’re still engaged. You belong to someone else.”
“I don’t belong to anyone,” she snaps. “I’m my own damn person.”
A cold laugh escapes me. “Oh, really? If you were your own person, you’d be able to tell Louis that you don’t want to marry him.”
Her lips part to argue, but then she closes them, her gaze dropping to her hands. The huge diamond ring she was wearing at the Winter Mingle is missing. I snort and take a swig of bourbon.
“You should have told me,” I say into my glass. “You led me on.”
This time, it’s her bitter laugh that fills the space between us. “I’ve been telling you we can’t happen for three years, . I’ve always been perfectly clear that there’s no chance of us.”
“Yeah. Shoving my cock in your mouth definitely hammered that home.”
She looks away and I almost feel bad.
“I never asked for this,” she says quietly, her voice breaking a little. “I didn’t ask for any of it.”
Fuck. Throwing back the rest of my bourbon with a wince, I stand and swipe my bowtie off the bar. “If you want to talk, let’s talk. But not here.”
She looks up, her brown eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “Where?”
I pull my room key out of my pocket. “Privacy. Come on.” When she doesn’t move, I sigh. “You think I’m going to try anything now that I’ve met your fucking fiancé?”
My words are harsh, and I’m not even sure if they’re true. But I wouldn’t try anything. No. If Jaime were to make a move, however, there’s no universe that exists with a version of me strong enough to say no.
Her nose wrinkles like she’s about to start crying, and I shake my head, moving away. If she wants to start crying in a hotel bar, that’s her call, but I’m heading to my room.
After a second, however, I hear her footsteps behind me, and breathe a sigh of relief. We ride to the third floor in silence, and I watch Jaime in the reflection of the polished elevator doors as she wraps her arms around herself, her head down. There’s nothing I want to do more than to pull her into my arms and hold her—tell her everything’s going to be okay. But I don’t. I can’t.
Housekeeping has tidied my room, which I’m grateful for, because when I left for the Mingle, the bed was unmade, my clothes all over the floor.
“Drink?” I offer, gesturing to the mini fridge.
She shakes her head and sits down on the foot of my bed, her eyes fixed on the carpet. I watch her for a second, before sighing and stooping to take off my shoes and socks, figuring I might as well be comfortable for what is likely going to be an uncomfortable discussion.
“Okay,” I say, leaning against the desk and folding my arms. “Tell me what’s going on. Properly this time. How are you engaged to a man you don’t want to be engaged to?”
Jaime groans and flops back on the bed, her eyes falling closed. Her zippered sweatshirt rides up as she does so, revealing a delicious slice of soft brown skin. I tear my gaze from it, forcing myself to look at her face.
“So, in case the house wasn’t a big enough clue, my family is rich,” she says.
I bark a laugh. “Yeah. It was subtle, but I got that.”
“Yeah, well, the Chevaliers are the European version of us. When my dad met Claude, Louis’ dad, years ago, they bonded over the fact they had small children. Dad really wanted to partner with the Chevaliers to take a bigger slice of the European market, and Claude wanted more of North America, but they were reluctant to risk so much of their own business.” Jaime sighs and drapes an arm over her face. “The next time they met, they brought their wives and kids with them. Somewhere along the negotiations, they decided it would be mutually beneficial to merge their businesses, but only if they could be sure that the wealth would stay in the family.”
I can’t keep in the noise of disgust that escapes me. “So, your dad sold you as part of a fucking business deal?”
“Not quite,” Jaime says with a sigh. “But yeah. They agreed to merge their companies after Louis and I were wed, ensuring that their combined wealth would transfer to their joint heir.”
I stare at her, laid out on my bed, my head spinning. “That’s ridiculous.”
“It’s my life, .” She shifts an arm and opens her eyes to look at me. “It’s all I’ve ever known.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to accept it,” I say, pushing off the desk and stalking toward her. “If you don’t want to marry Louis, just say so. Tell him. Tell your dad.”
She shakes her head. “It’s not that simple.”
“It really fucking is,” I say, my voice raising. “You’re not a piece of property to be used in business negotiations, Jaime. He can’t farm you out to produce heirs.”
My stomach turns at the thought of her with him. His hands on her. I wince and turn, sitting down beside her, my head in my hands.
“It’s not like that,” she says quietly.
“It’s exactly like that. What do you think’s going to happen if you say no? You’ll get sued? Disinherited?”
When Jaime doesn’t answer, I turn and look at her. She’s staring up at the ceiling, a defeated look on her beautiful face.
“Jaime,” I try again, gentler this time. “No one can make you do anything you don’t want to do. If you’re worried about money—”
“I’m not,” she huffs. “I don’t give a crap about the money.”
“What, then? Are you just brainwashed by this whole thing? Is it some sort of Stockholm Syndrome? Because I’m sure you could seek some help with that.”
Jaime turns her head and narrows her eyes at me. “You’re a dick.”
“I’m being fucking serious.” I hold up my hands. “Because from where I’m sitting, you don’t have to sign your life away for no reason.”
When she says nothing, I sigh. Lying back on the bed beside her and staring up at the ceiling. After a few minutes of silence, she takes a breath to speak.
“It’s not for no reason.”
She doesn’t elaborate and as much as I want to push, I don’t. It’s so fucking frustrating. I’m not a black and white person. I’m a big fan of the gray in between. But this whole situation seems so cut and dry. It’s just another giant glaring reason, set out in fucking neon, telling me to get the hell out of here.
Alex and Sol have been gently pushing me to let her go for years, and if this wasn’t the shove that I needed, I don’t know what is. But how can I walk away and leave her to marry some guy she doesn’t want? Yeah, she’s a big girl and can stand up for herself, but for some reason, she’s not. And it doesn’t sit well with me.
I scrub my hands over my face, and when I drop them back to my side, my fingers brush against hers.
When she doesn’t immediately pull away, I close my eyes, the barely-there touch of her fingers against mine burning hot. This is why I don’t walk away. I’m addicted to this woman. She was made for me, and I know, in the deepest part of my soul, more certain than anything, I’m the only one that can make her truly happy.
If only she’d let me.
When her fingers move, a wave of disappointment crashes over me. But she doesn’t pull away. Instead, she brushes her hand against mine, as though seeking the contact I’m craving just as much. Before I can question whether it’s a good idea, I take hold of her hand, lacing our fingers together.
Maybe it’s because this feels like the end—like goodbye—that I don’t just lie there and take it. Instead, I open my stupid mouth.
“Have you picked out a wedding dress yet?”
Jaime turns her head to face me but doesn’t pull away. “Not yet. I’m going this weekend. Want to come with me and give your opinion?”
Frowning at her serious tone, I turn my head to look at her. “What?”
She narrows her eyes. “Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.”
Glowering back at her, I can’t help but notice how close we are. I can feel the warmth of her breath on my skin as her eyes burn into mine.
We stay there, staring at each other, hands intertwined, a million unspoken words hanging between us. Just when the tension builds to an unbearable level, Jaime rolls onto her side, moving her even closer. Reaching up, she rests the fingers of her free hand against my chest, the touch burning through the fabric of my white shirt.
“I’m sorry,” she says quietly. “For not telling you. I didn’t want anyone to know because I knew they wouldn’t understand. Back in freshman year, I didn’t know you well enough to know that you wouldn’t have told anyone if I’d asked you not to.”
I roll onto my side, too, wondering if she has any idea what she’s doing to me. Being this close, smelling the way she does. My dick is growing harder in my pants and as her fingers remain, resting so lightly on my chest, I can’t do anything to stop it. All I want to do is roll on top of her and make her mine. Take her in the way I didn’t get a chance to in Sol’s room.
“I’m not going to forgive you,” I say, my voice rough. “You know that, right?”
She drops her hand from my chest, her fingers pulling free from mine, and I reach for her, cupping her jaw and holding her in place before she can pull away.
“How can I?” I ask, staring into the depths of her dark brown eyes. They’re darker than mine, like polished mahogany. “How can I forgive you when you’ve towed my heart alongside yours all this time, and you could have set me free with two words?”
Her breathing quickens, her wide eyes dropping to my mouth, and I swallow at the knowledge that even now, as I tell her that I can never forgive her, she wants me as much as I want her.
“This is why, isn’t it?” I ask, stroking my thumb over her full lower lip. “This is why you didn’t let me go. Because you want me. You want this.”
The faintest whimper falls from her lips, and I reach for her, grabbing a handful of her ass and pulling her flush with my body, letting her feel every inch of the effect she has on me.
“Say you don’t want this,” I say, flexing my hips just enough to drive my meaning home as I repeat the ultimatum I’ve given her before. “Say it. Then leave and don’t come near me again.”
Jaime’s eyes flutter closed as she presses against me, and my teeth grind at the effort of holding back.
“Say it.” I grip her chin a little tighter, causing her eyes to open. “Tell me we’re done.”
Even as the words leave my lips, I realize I’m asking her to end something we’ve never even started. Not really. My heart slams against my ribs as I watch her mouth, waiting for the end. I’ve put the ball in her court again, and this time, I don’t think I’m ever going to get it back.