Jaime
JAIME
“What the hell is going on?” Louis strides towards us, his narrowed gaze flitting between me and Zak.
My eyes widen as Zak tenses beside me, clearly sizing him up. “Louis, what are you doing out here?”
“Looking for my fiancée,” he grits out. “But apparently I shouldn’t have bothered.”
My heart sinks. Louis deserves so much better than this. I’ve been fortunate enough to have two exceptional men in my life and I’ve hurt them both.
“Can we go inside and talk?” I ask, stepping forward in an attempt to draw his attention away from Zak.
“Is this why you’ve been pushing me away?” Louis snarls. “Is he your boyfriend? Have you been with him the whole time?”
I shake my head. “It’s not like that, Louis.”
He finally turns to me, his blue eyes filled with hurt. “What is it like, ? Because I just watched another man kiss the woman wearing my fucking ring.”
I wince, reaching for the diamond on my finger. “Please, Louis. Let’s take this inside.”
Huffing a breath, he shakes his head and storms back up the path. I follow, glancing over my shoulder at Zak, who makes no move to follow. What pains me the most is the uncertainty on his face. He thinks I’m going to cave. That I’m going to convince Louis nothing was going on and walk away from everything we just discussed.
I’m not. Zak was right. All this time, I’ve been thinking of it as a choice between him and Louis. But it’s not. It’s a choice between the future I want and the future my parents want for me. It’s going to destroy my father when I tell him, but it has to be done. Even if I end up broke and alone, I’ll know it was my choice.
It occurs to me that I’ll probably lose my internship if I break off the engagement, and I sigh softly. If I’m burning everything to the ground, I may as well go for broke.
Louis heads for the French doors, heaving them open and standing to the side to let me through first. Ever the gentleman. He points at one of the reception rooms, avoiding my eyes. “Wait in there, please.”
I open my mouth to speak, but he storms off in the direction of the dining room, and I’m left with no choice but to do as he says. It’s a room I haven’t been in often, used mostly by my father when he holds meetings at the house. I perch in one of the taupe high-backed chairs and wait.
When the door flies open again, I leap to my feet at the sight of Louis, with my parents just behind, their faces pinched with confusion. My skin heats, my heart thundering as Louis closes the door and stands with his arms folded across his chest.
“What’s going on?” my father asks, looking between me and his future son-in-law.
This is it, I realize. I can either tell the truth and free myself, or I can lie and try to make things right. But things will never be right if I stay on this path. I know that now.
“I’m calling off the engagement,” I say, my voice strong despite the way my entire body’s trembling.
My father’s face turns a fascinating shade of mauve, his mouth opening and closing a few times. “What? Why? What happened?”
“Nothing happened. I never agreed to this wedding. I know I’ve never spoken out about it before, but that’s because it’s always been a part of my future. I believed it was normal—that it was the right thing for me—in the same way I believed in the tooth fairy and Santa. I trusted you.” I take a deep breath and turn to Louis, who’s still standing by the door, because he deserves these words. “I’m sorry, Louis. You are such an incredible man, and I’m lucky to have even been considered as someone you’d want to spend your future with. But you deserve better. My heart has belonged to someone else for a long time, and I’ve been too scared of walking away from this—of hurting my parents—to realize that marrying you wouldn’t be fair to you. You deserve someone who loves you with their whole heart.”
“This is ridiculous,” my mother snaps. “You can’t just end the engagement, . This has been planned for over a decade. You—”
“You can’t force me, Mom,” I say, turning to face her. “Cut me off, disown me, whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better. But I’m not marrying Louis.”
The relief of saying those words threatens to bring me to my knees, but I stand tall, my chin high, just as I’ve been taught. I will not show weakness. This is not a negotiation.
My dad sinks onto one of the chairs, rubbing a hand over his face. “I wish you’d come to me sooner, .”
My chest tightens. “I’m sorry, Dad. I tried, but you’re never here.”
It’s a weak excuse and we both know it. If I’d really wanted to speak to my father, I would have found a way, and his sad smile tells me he knows it, too.
“If anyone is wondering where I stand,” Louis says, pulling my attention back to him. “I’m also calling off the engagement.”
My mother gasps like she’s in some sort of bad sit-com, but my dad sighs heavily.
“That’s understandable, Louis. I’ll arrange a meeting with Claude as soon as possible.”
I frown. “What?”
My father looks up at me, his expression pained. “Don’t get me wrong, . This is a mess of epic proportions, but we’ll figure it out. Unless you want me to disown you?”
A smile pulls at my lips as I shake my head. “I’m so sorry.”
Slapping his palms down on his thighs, my father stands and takes my mother’s elbow. “Melanie, why don’t you go and take a minute then go back to the party?”
She looks at me and shakes her head, her disappointment palpable. But then she turns and leaves, patting Louis’ shoulder on the way out.
I turn to my dad, but before I can say anything, he pulls me into a hug. It catches me by surprise and my throat swells with emotion. I can’t remember the last time he hugged me.
“I’m sorry you didn’t feel you could come to me,” he says against my hair. “You’re such a strong woman like your mother, I forget that underneath it all, you’re still my little girl.”
“I’m sorry for ruining everything,” I mumble against his shirt, aware I’m probably staining it with whatever is left of my mascara. “I should have said something sooner.”
He sighs, his breath warm against the top of my head. “Yes, well, that would have been better. At least you didn’t wait until your wedding day.”
I groan and he laughs, pulling back enough to look me in my eyes.
“I love you, . All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy. I’m going to make more of an effort to make that clear going forward. Okay?”
I smile, my eyes filling with fresh tears. I swear I’ve never cried so much in my life. Leaning forward, he kisses me on the head and then leaves.
“You know,” Louis says, stepping forward until he’s in front of me. “There are so many times over the past six years or so, I thought about courting you.”
I sniff a laugh. “Courting me?”
He shrugs. “You know what I mean. I thought about coming to the US and taking you on dates. But I was too scared. Every time I made plans to come and spend time with you, I chickened out.”
My heart drops as I realize what he’s saying.
He reaches out and touches my cheek before letting his hand drop. “That will always be the biggest mistake of my life, . If I’d made more of an effort . . . If we’d gotten to know each other sooner . . .”
I shake my head. “That’s on both of us. I was hiding from this. I could have reached out to you, too.”
Silence falls between us, laden with the weight of ‘what ifs’. Perhaps we would have fallen in love. Maybe I wouldn’t have gone to Franklin West, choosing an East Coast college instead to be closer to Europe. Or maybe I would have gone, but when I met the eye of a cocky lacrosse player from across the room I would have felt nothing more than a flicker of attraction, because my heart belonged to someone else.
I’ll never know, and I’m okay with that. As lovely as Louis is, I don’t think I want to be part of that world any more than I already am. I don’t want to marry my father.
“Be happy, ,” Louis says, reaching for my hand and bringing it to his lips. “I’m sure we’ll see each other again.”
I smile and nod, watching as he closes the door behind him, leaving me alone.
And I finally exhale.
There’s a restroom off the reception room, so I take the opportunity to clean myself up. I’m a mess. My make up ruined, my face puffy and swollen. I’m completely numb.
I almost wish my dad had kicked up more of a fuss. The resigned, calm way he dealt with my admission is more painful than if he’d shouted and screamed. He’s right. I should have spoken up sooner. I should have trusted him.
But the truth is, I barely know the man. I know he loves me, but I’ve seen him once or twice a year my entire life. He was never at my award ceremonies, or even my high school graduation. It was the way things always were, so I was never bitter. He can’t blame me for not trusting him.
But it’s done. Regardless of the fall out.
Readying myself, I step out into the foyer and make my way back to the dining room. My heart skips excitedly at sharing the news with Zak. I’m free. I choose him. I want to be with him.
Every step is filled with purpose as I enter the room, looking at the tables, already cleared, with people standing in small groups mingling and laughing around them. I turn, searching, but there’s no sign of Zak or his mom anywhere.
Frowning, I walk over to the head server. “Excuse me. Do you know where the Aldridges are?”
“They left about ten minutes ago, Miss Smith.” He offers me a polite smile. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”
I shake my head. “No. Thank you.”
As he moves back off into the crowd, I try not to let the disappointment drag me down. What if he thinks I chose Louis? What if he thinks I ran, again?
Turning on my heel, I march upstairs to my bedroom, intent on chasing him to the hotel. I need to tell him. I need to tell him, I chose him.
I tug at the zipper on my dress, desperate to get free of the material, when my phone sounds with a message. Abandoning my struggle, I walk over to my dresser and pick it up.
My heart stutters as I realize it’s a voice message from Zak. Sinking down onto my chair, I close my eyes and press play.
“Hey. I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye, but I just couldn’t be there. I hope you understand. I hope you made the choice that makes you happy. I’m getting a flight back to Portland tonight. I have a game tomorrow, so it was always the plan to bail early. It’s an away game, so maybe I’ll see you next week. Maybe I won’t. Be happy, Kitty Cat.”
I play the message three more times. He’s giving me space. Away game or not, he’s putting distance between us—giving me a chance to change my mind. But I don’t need a chance. I’m not going to change my mind.
Placing down my phone, I rub my temples as my head throbs. A mixture of stress, champagne, dehydration, and heartache. It would be easy enough to find out where his away game is and show up there. Would he want that? I don’t know.
Staring at my phone, still lit up in front of me, there’s no way I can let three days go by without him knowing. But would he even believe me?
It’s not the way I wanted to do this, but fine. I frown, snatching up the device and tapping out my message.
ME: I’m yours