Zak
ZAK
The world fucking stops. I turn to Jaime, blood roaring in my ears as I hear the words I’ve wanted to hear since freshman year. She looks fragile. Something I never imagined I’d see. Even when she turned up at the Den after being fired, she still exuded an aura of power. The past couple of months have scarred me, but they’ve decimated Jaime. It hurts to see, but it’s also her own damn fault.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.” I sigh. “Of all the ways I imagined you saying those words to me, this was not one of them.”
She swipes at her eyes with the back of her hands and my heart squeezes at the trail of mascara it leaves behind. “I know.”
“So, what now?” I ask. “We love each other but you’re going to ride off into the fucking sunset with Billionaire Ken.”
“Don’t call him that.”
I bark a laugh. “Sorry. Do you care about his feelings now? Because you certainly didn’t when you were in my fucking bed.”
My words are harsh and Jaime winces as they fly like bullets from my lips. But I can’t help it. Two months of heartache have built inside me, and I can’t just make it go away. No one has ever hurt me like Jaime Smith.
“It’s not Louis’ fault,” she says quietly. “Be angry at me, but he’s a good guy.”
It’s too much. Shaking my head, I back away. “I can’t do this anymore.”
Her eyes widen, but I turn and walk, not knowing where I’m going in this ridiculous Lincoln Park sized garden. I don’t care. I just need to be somewhere she’s not.
“!”
I don’t slow, even when her hurried footsteps chase after me. It’s only when her hands grip my arm, that I slow, her feet sliding on the gravel as we come to a stop.
I look away. “What?”
“What if . . .” Her words trail off.
“What if?” I close my eyes, dreading her next words.
“What if I choose you?”
My head hangs. “I don’t know, Jaime. It might be too fucking late.”
And it’s the truth. She cut me so deep, I’m not sure I could ever fully trust her with my heart.
Her hand reaches up, cupping my cheek, and I screw my eyes closed tighter, stiffening at her touch.
“? Please, look at me.”
I can’t. If I do, I’ll crumble. I know it.
“I don’t believe you, Kitty Cat,” I mutter, moving out of her grasp. “The only time you choose me is when you’re upset and need somewhere to hide. I need more than that. I deserve more than that.”
“I’m so sorry, .” She lays her palms on my chest, and I hate how good it feels. “I thought I’d made the right decision, and if I’d seen you, I would have crumbled. I’m weak for you.”
“And that’s the problem,” I say, finally opening my eyes to look at her. Even with black mascara staining her brown cheeks, her eyes bloodshot from crying, she’s still the most beautiful woman on the planet. “What’s to stop you changing your mind as soon as you walk away? You say you’d choose me now, but how do I know you’re not going to run right back into Louis’ arms?”
She winces, her eyes shimmering with fresh tears. “I deserve that.”
“Why now?” I ask. “You haven’t spoken to me in almost two months. Tell me, what would have happened if I hadn’t come here tonight? Would you still have chosen me?”
“, I know the last few weeks have been hard, but believe me when I say they’ve been hell for me, too. I’m so sorry. But I want to make things right. Please, believe me.”
I exhale, the hard truth settling like lead in my gut. “Jaime, you need to make the choice that’s right for you. But I can’t be a part of it. If you want to marry Louis, then go for it. If you don’t want to marry him, don’t. I’m removing myself from the equation.”
Her eyes widen. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying.” I take a deep breath. “I want you to make your choice for you . If you choose not to marry Louis, then maybe we can make a go of things. Do things properly. But I don’t want you to leave him for me. I want you to leave him for yourself.”
She swallows and I force myself to meet the fear in her eyes. I told her that I would be there to catch her, but she didn’t trust me. Now, she’s going to have to make the leap alone.
“I was never asking you to choose me, Kitty Cat.” Cupping her face, I drag my thumb over her cheek. “I wanted you to choose what made you happy. I thought I could be part of that happiness, but that’s up to you.”
Her eyes close and she gives a faint nod, the weight I’ve been carrying around all year suddenly lighter.
“You were right,” I say. “When you told me you didn’t need me to rescue you. You’ve always been capable of rescuing yourself. What you were wrong about was happy endings. Real life has happy endings; you just have to be brave enough to fight for them.”
Jaime stares up at me and I smile at the steel in her big brown eyes.
“You were right, too,” she whispers. “I’m yours. I always have been.”
Still cupping her face, I drop my forehead to hers, breathing in her scent. “Then you’ll find your way back to me, Kitty Cat.”
We stay like that, my heart thundering beneath her palms, and her cheek beneath my fingers, until music sounds from the house, signaling that dinner has finished.
“We missed dessert,” Jaime mutters.
I dip my head, brushing a faint kiss against her lips. “Will that do?”
She smiles, but it doesn’t fully reach her eyes, and I know what she’s thinking. It’s not enough. It’s never enough when it comes to us. As much as I’m still angry and hurt, I still want to pick her up and find somewhere quiet where I can kiss her until all the noise in my head is silenced—where I can show her just how much I fucking love her.
But I force myself to drop my hand and step back. We both take a breath and turn to head back to the house, only to find Louis a few feet away, his eyes fixed on us and his jaw set.