Chapter 13
Lily stayed in her bedchamber for the rest of the morning, staring outside at the fields, watching the servants go about their daily chores. Sitting still was not her strongest suit. She preferred to either be in the garden, where she could tend to flowers, mix herbs, or practice her swordsmanship.
I miss McLennan.
She missed Amelia more. They had spent so much time together since they had first met that Lily had gotten used to being her shadow.
She had helped Amelia with almost everything before they had come to Scotland, and now that Lily had all this time to herself, she did not know what to do besides training.
The practice tousle with Killian this morning had showed her that she still had a lot to learn.
He is skilled.
Killian moved swiftly, and with precision. She had seen him fight on the battlefield too, and she knew how he timed his attacks to make sure he took his opponent down once and for all. She admired that the most about him.
“And his looks, too,” a voice chirped into her head and made her flush with heat.
Her skin tingled as more intrusive thoughts raced through her mind. His body rubbing against hers as they had ridden together, the feel of his hardness when she had tackled him to the ground earlier.
Did he feel the tension too?
Because it was all she felt when she was around him. That hard desire to just throw caution to the wind and keep her body close to his.
What am I thinking? Why did I stay?
Lily should have run when he had given her the chance. She was not one to make stupid choices. She was precise and calculated. She could have escaped!
A soft knock sounded at her chamber door, and it opened before she got the chance to respond. Niamh walked in and stopped a distance away from the bed.
“Ye arenae my brother’s betrothed,” Niamh began. “Ye also shouldnae have used me to threaten him like that. It was wrong.”
“Why did you come back here?” Lily asked as she turned to face her.
She was still wearing the same clothes she had arrived in and had turned down every earasaid the servants had brought her earlier.
“You know I could hurt you in my bid to escape. Your brother must have told you I am dangerous. Why did you come back here.”
“Because I am nae afraid of ye,” Niamh confessed in a louder tone before she took another step towards Lily. “Ye willnae hurt me. Me brother tells me ye two have a truce.”
Lily scoffed as Niamh tilted her chin up and continued in a defiant tone, “Ye’re here to help him find out who killed our brother. That means ye’re good.”
“You should be scared of me, regardless,” Lily insisted as she moved from the window and walked over to her. She held her gaze for a long time, waiting for her to speak.
Lily’s choice to stay back was not because she intended to make any friends here. She was here to clear Duncan’s name because she owed it to him. He was a good man, of that she was certain. But Killian’s brother also deserved justice, and she would help him get that.
“Well, I am nae scared of ye. And, ye’re to join us for supper tonight. My brother asked me to tell ye.” Niamh’s eyes roamed over Lily’s face before she turned to leave the chamber.
“I will not be joining you for supper,” Lily announced to her before she made it out.
“My brother has ordered it.”
“I called a truce with your brother, Niamh… It does not mean I am ready to take orders from him. I shall stay here and eat in my chamber, or I shall not eat at all.”
The less time she spent with Killian the better.
Lily and Niamh exchanged tense looks before Niamh nodded and left the chamber. Alone now, Lily walked over to her bed, dropped on it, and released a deep breath.
When she closed her eyes, she thought of Killian again. His touch made her pulse skitter, and then, there was the way he looked at her all the time.
His fierce eyes and that hardness in his chin.
Killian probably did not know how much he affected her. She was doing her best to control her growing hunger for him, for his kiss. She had never craved anyone before. It was all very new to her.
And thrilling.
Lily rolled over to one side of her bed when another knock interrupted her thoughts.
“Niamh, I told you I do not…” she trailed off when the door opened and Killian stepped inside.
He shut the door, closed the gap between them with quick strides, and then his eyes roamed over the full length of her body.
“Ye told Niamh ye willnae be at supper,” he began as she rose to her feet. “I ordered that ye join us tonight, but ye disobeyed me.”
“Do you have nothing else to do as laird?” Lily asked instead of responding to his statement. “Why is it so important that I show up to supper?”
“Because I ordered it. When I have guests in me keep, we eat together.”
“But I am not your guest, am I?” Lily did not bother masking the light sarcasm in her voice. “I am a prisoner who is about to become your ally. That does not make me—”
“Ye’re stubborn,” he cut her off briskly, “and ye bother me, but I want ye at supper because we must discuss what is to be done about our common enemy. Twice, an attempt has been made to end my life since I met ye, and twice ye have fought by my side. That makes me want to trust ye, but I willnae trust ye until we discuss what to do next.”
“And we must discuss this at supper?” Lily challenged still, meeting his eyes relentlessly.
“Are ye avoidin’ eatin’ with me for some reason? I find that I must ken some things about my new ally, and supper is the best time to do that.”
Lily crossed her arms over her chest and kept her lips in a tight line. When neither of them said anything for the next long second, Killian sighed, combed his fingers through his hair, then closed his eyes.
“All right… ye win. Ye can have supper in yer bedchamber, and we can discuss this in my study after.”
In his study?
The thought of being alone with him in his study made her stiffen. Warning bells went off in her head, and she felt lightheaded because of the intense burst of energy that rushed through her.
“Will it only be the two of us?” Lily blurted out breathlessly before she could hold the words back, and her eyes widened.
There was no taking it back now because Killian’s lips twitched to one side, and his ravenous eyes locked on hers again. “Why? Ye dinnae want to be alone with me?”
He took another step towards her and paused when she backed away one step.
“That is not why I asked,” she lied and felt her cheeks burn.
“Is it nae?” He wore an amused smile now. Lily didn’t need to hear him say anything else to know he was teasing her.
Shockingly, he lifted a hand and trailed a finger over her cheek. His touch was so light that she went weak in the knees. Lily never froze, or melted. This man made her want to do both things.
“Oh, dear Lily,” Killian began, dropping his tone a notch. The low timbre sent a shiver down her spine. “Ye have naethin’ to fear. I told ye… I willnae do anythin’ ye dinnae want… I am a man of honor.”
“I am not scared of you,” Lily hissed. “And I do not know what you speak of.”
“Somethin’ tells me that ye do, Lily,” he countered.
His voice trembled this time, and his gaze dropped to her lips.
“Somethin’ tells me ye remember. Because I do.
I remember every single gasp…” He took another step closer, and she backed away.
“Your lips… your taste… it is seared in my mind. It is a memory that will never fade.”
A lump formed in the base of her throat, and she swallowed hard to get it down. Sweat clung to her skin, her palms, her forehead. She needed to breathe, or else her chest would explode from all the pressure that mounted inside her.
The resulting spike in her pulse was no good either. She doused the heat pooling in the pit of her stomach by recalling how he had kidnapped her and had nearly hurt Amelia.
Lily hoped if she remembered all his transgressions, she wouldn’t feel this way for him. But none of that worked.
“I…” She sighed when no words came out of her parted lips.
“I will see ye at supper,” Killian said as he drew away from her as if he felt nothing, then turned away.
Lily closed her eyes, exhaled, and balled her fists to keep herself from reaching out to him and begging him to kiss her like he had that night.
She heard her chamber door clicking shut, then found the courage to open her eyes. His absence instantly filled her with an aching need to be close to him again.
I should have run when I had the chance.
A tantalizing yet dreadful sensation spiked through her. Killian was no good for her. The best way to stop thinking about him was to make sure she was too preoccupied to let her thoughts go there.