Chapter 14
Lily was bent on driving him insane, Killian was certain of that now. Everything she did, every move was edged towards making him lose control.
Killian kept reminding himself of the only reason she was in his keep.
To help. She is here to help me find our attacker.
“Do ye trust that she will help?” Fletcher asked as he slowly paced around Killian.
He was yet to recover fully from his injury, but he was feeling much better and stronger. Killian was thankful for that. He could not lose another person dear to him right now.
I cannae handle it.
“Trust isnae the issue here,” Killian answered in an attempt to justify why he had called a truce with Lily.
She always defied him. Enjoyed riling him up. Never quit putting up a fight. He could list a handful of the things the woman did that drove him mad already. He found all of them endearing.
“She couldnae even show up to supper as discussed so we could have a conversation. She defies ye at every chance she gets… Can ye trust someone like her?”
“She is a skilled fighter,” Killian argued as he rubbed his chin. “We will be lucky to have her fight for us.”
“Ye have over a thousand men in yer army—skilled men. Ye dinnae need her, m’laird,” Fletcher pointed out, his brows drawn together in worry.
“Send her back to McLennan Castle, and we shall charge into battle to take down Laird McLennan once and for all. I wasnae in support of a war before, but now that he has tried to kill ye twice, I willnae stand for it.”
Killian rose to his feet and walked over to him. “Ye shouldnae put too much strain on yerself. Yer wounds are yet to heal right.”
“I wouldnae be in this condition if it werenae for Laird McLennan. We must act, or our people will think ye’re weak, m’laird. He has taken too much from us. It is time we fought back weak.”
Killian nodded, and then helped Fletcher settle on the settee instead of responding to his edgy words. “I willnae charge into battle without preparation,” he said. “I havenae been one to make decisions rashly, and I am tryin’ to make sure we are attackin’ the right enemy.”
“But—”
“Nay buts, Fletcher,” Killian stopped him. “We shall discuss the last attack on one of the villages while I was away instead. Lily and I will handle Laird McLennan.
“I dinnae trust her, but she is the perfect bait. She kens the McLennan clan better than any of us. If we are to stand a chance against them, then we need her on our side… I intend to right things and get her on my side.”
Fletcher slowly began to relax on the settee, and when he finally released a deep sigh, Killian sat too.
“Do ye want some whiskey?” Killian asked.
He handed Fletcher a quaich of whiskey when he agreed with a nod, then he drank deeply from his and enjoyed the feel of the liquid burning down his throat.
Killian had to admit he was disappointed that Lily had not shown up to supper. He had hoped he had changed her mind by the end of their previous conversation. He had been anticipating sitting with her in that relaxed state when neither of them had to be wary of each other.
“So, ye’re only plottin’ to use her to get to Laird McLennan?”
Killian sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. He did not have a plan yet. Most times, his mind was too riled up with the most scandalous thoughts of Lily that he could not even concentrate on the reports sitting on his desk.
He wanted her near him… wanted to stare into her innocent eyes and smile because he knew she was thinking of him too.
“M’laird?”
Killian cleared his throat. “Aye… I dinnae have a plan yet.”
“Do ye need me to help ye?”
“I need ye to travel to Wehnthor and report to me what has happened there,” Killian said. “The villagers have sent petitions to me. They claim that their fields and crops have been infested and completely destroyed. They shall have no harvest this year.”
“Aye, m’laird,” Fletcher answered. “I shall leave for there by dawn and send word as soon as I arrive.”
Killian shifted uncomfortably on the settee, and his mind wandered to Lily, again. He was growing more comfortable with thoughts of her slipping into his mind even while he was busy.
If she had not shown up for supper, then what was she up to?
He imagined her training outside, alone, or standing by her chamber window to admire the fields beyond. Killian did not realize a smile spread out across his lips as that image speared his mind.
His fingers moved to his lower lip, and he caressed it slowly while reveling in the image of her lying beneath him in the fields.
Fletcher coughed and drew him back to reality.
“Ye’re dismissed, Fletcher,” Killian said, wanting to be alone with his thoughts.
When Fletcher left his study a moment later, he relaxed further on the settee and allowed his thoughts of Lily to take over.
This is torture.
Killian rose to his feet after some time. If she did not come to him, then he would go to her.
He met her on the stairway when he walked out of his study. Lily paused in her strides when she saw him, and his steps, too, faltered. They stared at each other for a long moment, and he nearly forgot to breathe as he took in all of her.
Her petite frame and the bounce of her black hair. Her eyes were wide and round as if she was surprised to see him. She didn’t say a thing as he walked over to her and then stopped again.
“Ye didnae show up to supper, after all,” Killian stated, letting his eyes take in her fully.
She was wearing fresh breeches and another leine the maids handed to her. Lily probably did not choose any of the earasaids or dresses they brought along with those, but he wondered how she would look without the leine or breeches on.
Her skin felt so silky, and he could imagine touching her, and… Get a grip Killian and do not think of the woman naked.
Killian could imagine what her body would look like in a dress. He would be able to see her ripe bosom, take in more of her creamy skin, and even enjoy thinking of how sweet it would be to gently lift her skirts and caress her thighs through the stockings that would be beneath.
“I told you I would not come.” Her sharp tone cut into his thoughts.
Killian suppressed a low growl. He had promised not to do anything she did not want, but that did not mean he could not imagine, right?
“Come with me.” He took her arm, feeling his restraint nearly snap when she stiffened and tried to break free of his grip. “Just do as I say for once!”
Lily went with him begrudgingly, and he led her to his study. He closed the door behind her, then moved away from her quickly before he got too used to the warmth seeping out of her body.
“What is it?”
“I told ye we have much to discuss, but ye still didnae show up to supper. How am I to trust that ye’re on my side and ready to fight with me?”
“I am ready to fight with you,” Lily answered. “But only to clear Laird McLennan’s name. That does not make me your ally, and it certainly does not make me jump at your command.”
She had fire! He loved that.
“All right,” Killian shot back in the same snappy tone she used. “What do we do next? Ye ken Laird McLennan. Ye’re so sure of his innocence, so ye must tell me what ye have to prove it or what we need to do to prove it because I am very close to marchin’ over there and endin’ all of this myself.”
“And start a war?”
“Aye. I dinnae care if it leads to war. I will prepare for it, and I will win. If it means protectin’ my clan and meself, then I will go to war for whatever cause.”
Lily scoffed, shook her head, and turned away from him. “That is an obvious lie. A war is a rash decision, and you know it. Otherwise, you would have brought war to McLennan from the start and not bothered with kidnapping me.”
She was right. He did not want to risk more men than he had to for his personal vendetta unless he had no other choice. Killian would prefer to settle this with his enemy on his own.
“I have been thinking,” Lily continued and caught his attention when she stopped pacing and faced him.
He noticed how she put one hand on her hip. Her stance remained poised even as she spoke, as if she was ready for battle at any moment.
A good trait of a strong warrior.
“I need you to tell me exactly what happened the night your brother was murdered.”
Killian shook his head. “I wasnae there, I dinnae ken. All I ken I learned from my man-at-arms, Fletcher.”
Saying the words out loud filled him with the stab of guilt he had carried with him since he had returned to news of his brother’s death.
The familiar stabbing ache pierced his heart, and he squeezed his eyes shut to get a grip.
He drew in slow, deep breaths into his lungs, then closed his eyes for a moment.
“Tell me what he told you. Did your brother have any business with Laird McLennan? What reason would Laird McLennan have to want him dead?”
Killian still struggled with his raging emotions as he walked past her and sat. Lily did not need to know this shameful part of him. She did not need to know he was a man that had abandoned his family in pursuit of his own happiness and let his brother carry all the burdens of their clan.
Helping the villagers with their trade had not been enough. He should have done more.
I could have been there. Perhaps he would still be alive if he had me by his side.
“MacColl trades gold,” Killian began, hoping his words would not fail him as he told Lily all that had happened.
“Laird McLennan wanted a part in that trade, and my brother agreed to introduce him to his English associates. After he did, Laird McLennan went ahead to strike a deal with them, cutting my brother out of the profits. He betrayed him, and when my brother confronted him about it, he killed him.”
“And you have proof? Proof that Laird McLennan is behind his death?”
“My brother kept a journal. He wrote about Laird McLennan’s betrayal in there.
Also, a dirk was buried in his gut when my men found his body near Ardenway Cliff—the cliff that borders our clans.
No one ever journeys through that path because there is nay route, but after the cliff on the opposite side lies another cliff which is on McLennan land. ”
“Can I see this dirk?”
Killian did not know if he could trust her with this information. He stared at her for a long time, trying to make up his mind. Something about the solemn look in her eyes helped him know that he could trust her.
I cannae explain it.
Perhaps it was because she had helped fight his enemies twice now? Or it was because she could have hurt Niamh that day but she had not.
Either way, Killian sighed, got up and walked over to his desk to get the dirk from his drawer, then handed it to her. He watched her expression as she stared hard at the inscription on the dirk. It was written in Gaelic, and he suspected she could not understand it.
“Tha mi beo leis a chlaidheamh,” Killian recited, slowly enunciating the words till she lifted her head to look at him. “It means I live by the sword.”
Lily looked down at the dirk one more time before she handed it back. “I have never seen that dirk before. I don’t think it belongs to Laird McLennan either.”
“What makes ye so sure if ye have never seen it before?”
“I have seen the inscription elsewhere,” she admitted.
Killian noticed she was pale, and she did not meet his gaze anymore. He could tell she knew more, as she avoided his gaze again. He needed her to speak up.
“Lily, ye must tell me what ye ken,” he said, putting a hand beneath her chin and tipping it up so she stared at him.
Her eyes searched his, and she finally told him in a cold tone, “I have seen that inscription on a sword before, but it belonged to the late Laird MacGregor… He was a vile man—very capable of murdering your brother even if your brother was his ally.”