Chapter 30
Killian tried to get the night out of his mind. He thought of Lily’s kiss, thought of her body beneath his and her breathless sighs. All of that consumed him while he laid out the plan of his attack.
“If we do this, we do this right,” he said to Fletcher as she continued staring out at the maps laid out before him.
He had no reason to hold back now. Not after their prisoner confirmed the identity of their attacker.
Laird McLennan has to pay for all his crimes!
The anger fueling Killian was enough to keep him focused on the meeting for longer. When it was finally over and his councilmen dispersed for the day, he joined the soldiers on the field for training.
Lily was amongst them when he got there. Her hair was tied into a bun, and her stance was as rigid as ever. She trained with the rest of the men, not failing to meet every stride.
Killian saw when she fell to the back and dropped her hands to her knees so she could catch her breath. He tried to ignore her presence, but it was impossible. She was still panting when he got to her.
“Are ye all right?”
It took a moment before Lily raised her head to look at him. She was still panting, and she swept her tongue over her lips before sighing. “I am all right.”
She sounded cold, and Killian worried whether she was really all right. He thought of what had happened between them all night, even if he had ordered her to go to her room immediately after.
To protect her.
“All right,” he whispered, cleared his throat, then turned to walk away, but her next words stopped him in his tracks.
“You did not have to do it.”
“What?” Killian spun back around to face her and met her gaze when she hiked her chin up.
“Last night… you sent me away like I am some disease you want to stay from after we—” She blew air through her lips, then combed her fingers through her hair. “You sent me away like it did not mean anything.”
“Lily…” The weight on Killian’s chest increased. “I dinnae think ye are a disease.”
“But you treat me like I am. Last night was—”
“I sent ye away for yer own good, Lily. I have been tryin’ to send ye away for yer own good because if ye’re here… if ye stay here and somethin’ happens to ye…”
“I can handle myself, Killian.”
“I ken that, but I cannae!” Killian yelled the words before realizing it.
He gasped for air as his eyes searched hers, and every feeling he had kept bottled up since the start of the day came rushing to the surface. His chest ached as he drew in deep breaths.
Last night had been magical. He wanted many more last nights, and if he could have them with Lily, then he would take that chance in a heartbeat.
“Killian,” Lily murmured just before reaching out to touch his hand, “we protect each other.”
He saw tears in her eyes, and that broke his heart. “Ye really want to stay here with me? And fight against yer own people? Fight against Laird McLennan?”
Lily’s eyes did not flinch from his as she answered, “I will fight with you, Killian.”
He angled his body towards her some more, and she breathed out. Her scent filled his lungs, and for a moment, Killian wished he was not at war.
“M’laird,” Fletcher called before he could say anything else to her.
Killian spun around to face his man-at-arms, and the panicked look on his face was enough to send a shot of adrenaline right through him.
“Laird McLennan sent men to attack. They have crossed the borders into our land, and they are raidin’ Wehnthor as we speak. He made the first move, m’laird. This is war.”
Killian combed his fingers through his hair, then nodded. “Send our men. I shall lead them. We fight off Laird McLennan’s men while plannin’ our attack. We are ready for this. We fight and defend ourselves.”
After Fletcher walked away, Lily touched Killian’s hand again, and he turned towards her. “So, we march to Wehnthor?”
Killian was about to correct her and mention he would march alone, but knowing her, she would never agree to that.
“We march out,” he replied. “Together.”
Lily nodded, and he could not hold himself back at that moment. He framed her face with both his hands and took her lips for a sweet kiss. He felt his world stop as his tongue slipped into her mouth. She responded with fire, just like she always did.
The kiss was brief, and he pulled away as soon as he tasted her.
Lily’s eyes stayed shut as he walked away, and he felt a smile wedge up his lips. He felt relaxed, but the sensation only lasted a second before he arrived in the courtyard, where his men were all gathered and ready for war.
By the end of the first night, Killian was exhausted. Most of Laird McLennan’s men retreated, and his men set up camp at Wehnthor, which was right on the border between their lands.
Lily sat by the campfire with the rest of his men, and he watched her from a distance as she laughed with them.
Killian could get used to having her around like this. If she lived here in MacColl with him, then he could spend the rest of his days watching her—loving her.
The thought slipped into his mind before he could stop it.
Love?
He sucked in a deep breath as he thought of it again. His heart skipped a beat till the breathlessness whooshed over him again.
Killian combed his fingers through his hair and rubbed the same hand over his face. The weight crushed his chest till he forced his gaze away from her and tried to breathe.
I love her.
Killian had never been in love. He had loved his brother, yes, and he loved his sister. But a woman… a woman like Lily…
Killian was still lost in his thoughts when he felt a soft touch on his shoulder. He spun around and saw Lily smiling at him before she offered him a jar.
“Drink,” she whispered. “It is tonic. I made it for the men. It helps with strength.”
Killian stared at her for a long time, his eyes searching hers as he wondered if she felt the same way about him.
Does she love me? Can she love me?
When she nudged the jar into his hands, he released a deep breath, took the container, and drank deeply from it.
“Thank ye.”
“Are you wounded in any way? Do you need a salve? Or—”
“I am all right.” Killian saw a cut on her forehead, and he reached out to stroke a finger over it tenderly. “Ye’re hurt. Let me apply the salve for ye.”
He led her to a log so they could sit, then he took the salve from her and slathered some of it over the wide cut on her forehead. Thankfully, it wasn’t deep, so he did not need to worry about an infection.
As he stroked the cut on her forehead, their eyes met, and Killian felt the air leave his lungs. He slowed his touch and stared at her lips for a moment, then touched them with his thumb, gently stroking till he heard her sigh.
Isn’t it crazy that all I can think about is kissing her right now? In front of my people? My men?
Torn between giving in to his desires and holding onto his last shred of control, he cleared his throat and looked away from her. “Thank ye for stayin’ and fightin’ with me. Ye didnae have to, but ye did, and I’m grateful for that.”
Lily shot him a smile, then she took his hands and wrapped them around hers. “Killian… I am sorry, but I do not think a war with Laird McLennan is the right thing to do.”
When he arched an eyebrow, she tightened her grip on his hands and continued, “Richard mentioned his ledgers before he died. I heard him say ‘the ledgers’… and he tried to tell me something about the man with him that night. He tried to. Just let us take a moment to breathe and find out what really happened.”
“Laird McLennan has attacked my people… I will fight him back.”
“Yes, yes, you should, but… I think we can find out who was really behind your brother’s death and put an end to this feud before any more men die.”
Killian once again let her words convince him that Laird McLennan was innocent.
He nodded and drew in a deep breath. “All right… So, we find Richard’s ledgers and find out who was with him that night.”
“Yes,” she answered with a nod.
Killian and Lily got lost in each other’s eyes for a long time after that, then he nodded again. “So, where do we begin to look for these ledgers?”
“Ask Fletcher,” Lily answered, and he followed her line of sight to see Fletcher watching them from a distance, his hands folded over his chest. “Fletcher was your brother’s man-at-arms. He knew all about your brother’s business with Richard Easton. He knows where the ledgers are.”
Killian lowered his gaze and sighed. He turned around and signaled for Fletcher to come to them.
“M’laird?”
“I need my brother’s ledgers. I want to see every record and every detail of the business he had with Richard Easton. I understand they are kept in the vault back at the keep?”
“Aye, m’laird. All of the old ledgers are locked away in the vault in the keep. We can go through them together once we get back.”
“I will leave ye here with these men and go look through them. Hopefully, we will find somethin’.”
“What is it that ye wish to find, m’laird?” Fletcher’s question shocked Killian, and he did not blink. “Yer brother’s ledgers doesnae have the information that ye need. Yer brother had not done business with Laird McLennan. They were only discussin’—”
“Do as I say, Fletcher,” Killian cut in, using a sterner tone. “Laird McLennan has brought war to us, and we will fight him, but I need ye to let me find out if he really killed my brother.”
Fletcher blinked, and his chin hardened before he bowed and walked away.
“He does not look too happy,” Lily remarked with a sigh when they were alone again. “He probably cannot wait until I leave MacColl.”
Her mention of leaving again made Killian’s heart ache, and he clenched his jaw. “I dinnae wish for ye to leave,” he whispered to her, needing to say these words out because it felt like they would choke him soon. “I dinnae want to even think of ye leavin’ because I…”
He sighed and shook his head. “We should head back to the keep and find those ledgers before Laird McLennan sends any more men to us.”
Lily rose to her feet, and Killian did the same.
“I wrote him a letter,” she revealed then.
“I wrote to Laird McLennan, and he never replied. I told him that I was not kidnapped and that I had decided to stay here. I wrote after the fire at the cabin, but he never wrote back. I think there is also something going on back at McLennan… I have a strong feeling about this.”
Killian gently touched her shoulders and drew her to him. “Ye should sleep for tonight. Tomorrow, we will figure out what happens next.”
The rest of the night, Killian stayed awake with his men. They kept watch at the village borders for any intrusion to make sure nothing took them by surprise.