16
Holly Jolly Christmas by Burl Ives was playing on the radio and I was singing along cheerfully as I puttered through the holiday traffic on the highway. Theo stared at me blankly from the passenger seat of my car as I belted out the song. Badly. The more I sang, the funnier his expression was to me, so the harder I sang along to the holiday tune. Though I hadn’t explained my tradition of listening to Christmas songs on the way home at Thanksgiving and Christmas, I’d assumed it would not be a surprise for Theo. I’d been wrong.
“Wait until you get my rendition of Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree!”
I crowed during a break in the singing. “You’re really going to realize the treat you’ve walked into!”
Theo laughed, but seemed to push himself closer to his door, as though my antics were a clear indication that I was mentally unstable. During our entire friendship over the last two months, he simply hadn’t seen the signs that I was a person he should avoid. Now, having accepted my Thanksgiving invitation, and being trapped in a car with me, I’d finally chosen to drop all pretentions of being a stable human being. The thought made me sing louder.
For all his fear, Theo pulled out his phone and pointed it at me. I didn’t have to ask to know that he was making a video of my poor performance. After a second, reality sunk in and I slapped my phone to pause the music. Theo continued to hold his phone up as I glanced over at him.
“You’re not live on Peepers or something are you?”
I asked nervously.
“God no!”
Theo laughed and lowered his phone. “That was for my own future enjoyment.”
“Oh.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you, Josh,”
he said sincerely. “But I will watch that over and over while in bed at night, and laugh myself to sleep.”
I reached over and shoved him against the door. Theo laughed and raised his phone. He began to video the traffic we were stuck in and the snow that was slowly started to fall around us.
“Why aren’t you singing?”
I slapped at his knee as we crawled through the highway traffic.
“I can’t sing!”
Theo groaned.
“Obviously, I can’t either,”
I said. “But there’s no one here to hear us, so…?”
Theo rubbed his hands along his jeans-clad thighs, as though wiping away sweat. He laughed nervously and stared out the windshield, as if deeply interested in the traffic that had nearly come to a standstill. Frowning, I applied the brakes as the highway slowed to a stop and we found ourselves stuck for the foreseeable future.
Turning my head to Theo, I said, “Don’t tell me the guy who does dances online for millions of people is afraid of singing with his friend in a car!”
He chuckled nervously, avoiding my gaze.
“Come on,”
I said. “I won’t make fun of you. I mean, I will, but in a loving way.”
Sighing, Theo finally met my gaze.
“I have a horrible voice,”
he said, blushing. “I hate singing publicly.”
Looking around dramatically as we sat in traffic, I pretended to be searching out the “public”
he thought he was trying to avoid.
“Who’s here but you and me?”
I asked, nudging his knee again.
He laughed and looked around at the cars surrounding us. The snow was falling lightly, but I found myself hoping it wouldn’t get worse before we got to my parents’ house. Driving in white-out conditions did not make me happy.
“Trust me,”
I said. “No one is going to hear you. And the other people in those cars only care about the fact that we’re stuck on the highway. They don’t give a shit about two goofy guys singing at the top of their lungs in their car.”
He shot me a look, but I could tell Theo was unconvinced. I chewed at the corner of my lip and looked around at the traffic on the highway. Leaving the university at seven o’clock on the day before Thanksgiving had caused two problems. We were hitting holiday traffic and rush hour traffic in Des Moines as it began. Everyone who had to work the day before Thanksgiving was trying to get to work at the same time as many people were trying to get into and out of town to see family. Leaving at six would have solved the problem, or waiting an hour later would have changed things.
My departure time had not been my smartest move.
“You know what we need?” I asked.
“Faster traffic?”
Theo quipped.
Laughing, I said, “This traffic isn’t going to lighten up for an hour. We need gas station breakfast sandwiches, coffee that a spoon can stand up in, and snacks for the road!”
“It’s a three-hour drive,”
Theo said.
I looked at him, frowning.
“I was agreeing,”
Theo said with a grin.
Whooping loudly, I steered us towards the next exit. Traffic crept along, but ten minutes later, we were pulling off of the highway and onto the side street. We hadn’t even gotten out of our first big town on the trip, but getting something to eat while traffic cleared up would be perfect. Even if we were delayed an hour, it would be worth it. I’d text my mom and let her know the situation.
“Okay,”
Theo said, unfastening his seatbelt as I parked in front of the first Casey’s we passed, “I’m going to treat us to the snacks. You’re driving and you invited me for a free holiday, so the least I can do is pay for the road rations.”
“The bare minimum you could do, really.”
I teased him.
“Get out and stretch, man!”
Theo exclaimed. “I’ll be back!”
Theo leapt from the car and dashed towards the gas station. I managed to get out of the car quickly enough to scream at him before he disappeared inside.
“Lots of caffeine!”
Theo held a thumb up high above his head, then slipped inside the store.
Pulling my coat on, I slipped out of the car and stretched. Snowflakes were falling lazily, yet steadily, and the icy breeze was whipping against my cheeks and nose. I jogged around the car, stretching my legs, glad that the ground was clear enough that slipping wasn’t a concern. By the time I’d made my way around the car a dozen times, my legs had their feeling back and I was cupping my hands in front of my face and blowing into them.
Iowa winters can get bitterly cold, but the coldest days usually weren’t until late December, January, and early February. Seeing the smattering of snow and feeling the icy wind on my flesh before Thanksgiving was a cause for concern. If we were going to have an atypical winter, I wasn’t prepared. Hot weather, unrelenting sunshine, and humidity aren’t my favorite thing, but neither is a winter so cold that my toes are always tingling.
I pulled out my phone and checked the weather app. To my relief, I saw that the winter storm we were experiencing was expected to be over soon. A light dusting of snow across the region was expected, and the temperatures were going to be low, but we weren’t in for a winter wonderland anytime soon. With a sigh of relief, I slid my phone back into my pocket and was opening my car door when Theo dashed back out of the gas station. Two bulging plastic grocery bags were in his hands, and he was grinning like a fool.
I smiled and ducked back into the car. Once the door was closed, I slipped my coat off my shoulders and waited for him. Theo finally made his way to the car and fell into the seat beside me, a gust of wintry air filling the car and making me shiver. He closed his door quickly and shivered, the two bags of treats on his lap. Turning the car on, I flipped the heat to full blast and looked at the bags in Theo’s lap.
“I got Red Bulls, some waters, chips, Twizzlers, M&Ms, Sour Patch Kids, and a few bacon, egg, and cheese croissants,”
he said, his teeth chattering.
“No coffee?” I gasped.
“Their machine was down,”
he said with a groan. “But I got two bottled Starbucks mocha things. It was the best I could do. Unless you want to find a coffee shop?”
“I suppose we can suffer,”
I said, sighing dramatically.
We both laughed and ripped into the bags Theo had brought out of the store. Once everything was laid out, Theo brought his phone out and started taking pictures of the haul.
“Do you document everything for your online existence?”
I laughed.
He shrugged and grinned awkwardly.
“My followers expect me to update them frequently on my life,”
he said as he snagged a croissant and began to unwrap it. “If I don’t upload videos, I at least have to throw some pics onto Instagram or something.”
“That sounds…exhausting,”
I said, turning in my seat to look at him.
I snagged a sandwich and a Red Bull, which I immediately cracked open and took a hearty first glug. I slipped the can into the drink holder and unwrapped my sandwich.
“Well,”
Theo said, then bit into his sandwich, before continuing with a full mouth, “if you want to be an influencer, you gotta influence.”
“Okay,”
I said. “Agreed. But in what way does this influence people?”
Waving my hand theatrically over the snacks stacked on the dashboard, the console, and our laps, I made Theo laugh. He shrugged and chewed thoughtfully for a moment.
“I guess influence is kind of not the right word for the job, right?”
he asked. “It’s more like curating an aesthetic, lifestyle, or experience to entertain others and to give them something to aspire to be.”
“You want to make people think eating gas station food in a car on a freezing morning in Iowa is a dream they should dream?”
“Well, no,”
he said. “Well, maybe. Yeah. Maybe. Why not? We contain multitudes. Even someone who owns a private jet doesn’t eat their potato chips out of a crystal bowl, ya’ know? At least, not every time they eat chips.”
I laughed. “Fair. I’d hope. But anyone can go to Casey’s, get some slop, fling it around, and take pictures of it. What’s so special about you doing it?”
“Well,”
Theo turned his nose up comically, “I was popular already.”
“Fair again,”
I said. “But what keeps you popular? I mean, what is it you do that makes you one of the biggest accounts on Peepers?”
He thought about that for a second and shrugged, chewing his sandwich as he looked down at the snacks in his lap.
“Is it this punim?”
I reached over and grabbed his chin, giving it a squeeze.
Theo pulled away with a laugh, crumbs spraying from his mouth.
“Are you saying people only follow me because I’m attractive?” he asked.
“I’m sure it doesn’t hurt,”
I said with a shrug.
“So, you think I’m cute?”
He leaned across the console and waggled his eyebrows at me.
I rolled my eyes and took a bite of my sandwich.
“You. Think. I’m. Cuuuuuuuuuute.”
Theo rubbed his nose against my cheek.
I shoved him away playfully.
“Get off of me you big weirdo!”
I barked playfully. “I’m trying to eat my sandwich. I don’t need your cooties all over it.”
“Admit that you think I’m cute,”
Theo said, leaning closer.
“You’re cute!”
I exclaimed. “Get away!”
Theo fell back into his seat with a satisfied laugh and took a giant bite of his croissant. He turned to grin at me, showing me his teeth covered in food. I groaned and looked away. My stomach was fluttering when I grabbed my Red Bull and took a healthy chug from the can. Theo chewed his giant bite and swallowed.
“So,”
he said, mercifully changing the topic, “where are we going anyway? I should have asked before we left, but I assumed you weren’t taking me out to the woods to kill me.”
“Don’t count anything out,”
I quipped.
Theo rolled his eyes. “Where’s your parents’ house?”
“Just beyond Riverside,”
I said. “It’s a few miles out of town.”
“Where’s that?”
“East of here. By Muscatine?”
Theo gave me a blank look. “I’m not from Iowa.”
“Oh, yeah,”
I chuckled. “Well, it’s east of here. Couple of hours. It’s about forty-five minutes from Davenport?”
He shrugged. “Still means nothing to me.”
We laughed and continued to eat and drink.
“Does the name mean anything? Riverside? Is it on the Mississippi, or…?”
“No,”
I said, chuckling. “It’s near the Iowa river, but it’s really next to the English river. It’s nowhere near the Mississippi.”
“Oh,”
Theo said. “That’s…Iowa for you.”
I laughed and took the last bite of my sandwich. “You know, Riverside is the future birthplace of Captain James T. Kirk.”
Theo whipped his head around to look at me.
“From Star Trek?” he asked.
“One and the same.”
I nodded. “Canonically, James T. Kirk will be born in Riverside, Iowa March twenty-second, twenty-two-thirty-three.”
“You like Star Trek, too?”
Theo gasped happily.
“No,”
I said. “I just grew up near Riverside.”
Theo blushed and I laughed.
“I’m a geek,”
he said with a groan.
“Nah,”
I said. “It’s cuuuuuuuuuuuute.”
His blush deepened. I reached to fasten my seatbelt, realizing that enough time had passed to get back on the highway safely. Theo shoved the rest of his sandwich in his mouth and mirrored my actions.
“Do you want your picture with the Captain James T. Kirk statue?”
I asked as I pulled out of the parking spot and headed out of the lot.
Theo eyed me warily. “There’s a statue?”
“Yup,”
I said, driving towards the highway. “Right in the middle of town. It’s a cold day. Thanksgiving is tomorrow. It’s never busy, but it definitely won’t be today. If you want to stop before we get to my parents’ place.”
“Are you going to make fun of me?”
he asked slowly.
I laughed. “A little. But I won’t go in on you too hard if you play snack wench and sing along to the Christmas tunes.”
He thought it over for only a moment. “Deal!”
With another “whoop,”
I pulled onto the highway and hit my phone to start the Christmas songs once again.