Chapter Twenty-FiveChaos…
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chaos…
How could I have been so fuckin’ stupid?
I knew better than to accuse someone for something without proof, and the notebook was hardly enough to say she’d been stealing from me.
Fuck. I hadn’t slept all night, all I could think about was Cynda and how she must be feeling.
At least Flame found out she was back home and safe.
He’d passed on the information from Michelle, and told her what Sweets had done. I can’t even imagine how fuckin’ pissed she must be. What kind of damage was it going to do to her reputation? Her job? They might even fire her for leaving if she didn’t write the songs anyway. I didn’t want her hurt.
The pillows still had her scent and as I rolled over the aroma of orange blossoms filled my nose.
Instantly hard just thinking about her, I had a pain in my chest I’d never had before.
What is it the song says? You don’t know what you want ‘til it’s gone?
I drove away the only woman who made me feel like a man, stood up to me and laughed with me.
She fucking rocked my world. It wasn’t just the sex, it was everything, one amazing package of Cyn, and I’d thrown her away like she was fuckin’ garbage.
Fuck it. I needed to get off this bus. But we were on the way to Virginia and another show. This should have been amazing for all of us, but now it was a steaming pile of shit.
I couldn’t stay in my room or my bed. I needed to get away from the memories of her. Walking up to the front of the bus, I went to talk to Joe. He’d learned a lot about her in a few days.
“Hey, Joe.”
“Chaos. You’re up early. Everything okay?”
“Not really, hell fuck no, nothing’s okay.”
“The girls huh?”
“Yeah, well not just the girls but Cynda. How could I have been so fuckin’ wrong?”
“Because you’re young and you have trouble trusting people. This time you trusted the wrong one.”
Rubbing my palm over my face and pushed my hair back. Nothing would erase the hopeless feeling. “I know. I was just so mad, I didn’t think. It’s not that I trusted Sweets, more like I didn’t trust Cynda.”
Joe nodded. I should let him drive in peace, but it was just before sunrise and mostly trucks on the road. “Did you get ahold of her last night?”
“No, she won’t answer my calls. I tried over and over and left voicemails, but nothing.”
“She’s upset. When my wife got like that, it took her a couple of hours, then she’d calm down and we could talk. Although I never accused her of anything like you did. Damn, I wish you could have heard her sing your song. I’ll never forget it.”
My gut twisted into a bigger knot. I wished I’d heard her sing it too. I didn’t even remember what the lyrics were, I was so fuckin’ pissed off I barely read the words before I’d tossed the notebook.
Would she be able to forgive me? Could I fix things? “I’m going to try to call Rod once it gets to be a little later, maybe he can figure something out.”
“I don’t know if you want to do that.”
“Why not?”
“Well, Cynda and I were talking. Rod isn’t the good guy you think he is.”
“Fuck,” I said with a grim smile. “I didn’t think he was all that great believe me.”
“You’d be right. I know him or knew him, I guess. I didn’t realize he was your manager since he’s never been on tour with you. Didn’t you wonder why he never showed up?”
“Yeah, but he said he didn’t need to, managers rarely do.” Joe nodded again. He looked like he was trying to decide how much to say. “What is it, Joe?”
He looked at me in the rearview mirror and then back at the road.
“I’ll tell you what I told Cynda. I used to work for Symmetry and I knew Rod, in fact he’s Cynda’s dad’s manager or was before they fired him.
He doesn’t really work for you, he’s a company man.
He gets kickbacks to do their dirty work, bring on bands and getting them to sign contracts that aren’t in their best interest. I couldn’t handle it.
I was a scout for them before, and I’d find these great bands and watch them get torn apart. So I left when my wife got sick.”
“Fuck. I should have known.”
“No, you shouldn’t have. Hell, he messed with established bands too, groups that should have known better.
You’re young, starting out, you didn’t have a chance.
Trust me. Cynda and I were going to see if we could find an attorney to help if you wanted out of the contract.
She had some things she wanted to look into as well, but like I said yesterday, it’s up to her to tell you. ”
I didn’t think it was possible for me to feel worse than I had when I came to talk to Joe, but I was wrong.
We signed the contract because I said we should, and now I’d fuckin’ screwed us.
At least now I had something to focus on, I’d get us out of this mess with Symmetry somehow, even if it took until after the tour.
We’d worked too hard to throw it all away now.
Cynda…I promise you, I’ll fix this somehow.
“Joe? Did you get the name of the lawyer?”
“No, Cynda’s friend was working on it, since she was here with you.”
I nodded, knowing he could see me in his mirror.
Thank God Flame and Michelle were still together.
Obviously he was a lot smarter than me, but I had an idea, and I’d be making my own calls once the sun came up and it wouldn’t be to Rod Dixon that’s for sure.
“Do you know Cynda’s dad? I mean could you get in touch with him? ”
“I don’t know. I used to, but it’s been years. He probably wouldn’t remember me.”
“Could you try, once we get to Virginia and you rest? I have an idea but I’m going to need your help.”
“Sure, if I can you’ve got it. Why do you think I volunteer to drive you guys? I just didn’t like to leave my wife on the long trips but now that’s she’s gone…”
“I’m sorry, Joe. I had no idea.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it. We had a great life, I hope you can find a love like ours—I hope you all can.”
I was pretty sure I already had, but would I be able to win her back? If this idea worked, then maybe, but it was a long shot.
“Thanks. I’ll let you get back to driving.” Things might turn around yet. For the first time since I’d walked in on the cat fight in the suite I actually felt some hope. This had to work, please God, I’m not a praying man, but please just this once.
Back in the room, I pulled out my laptop and started researching attorneys and sent an email to Jack and Sally, explaining things and seeing if they could help.
Jack had been in the business world a long time and he knew people who knew people, or at least that’s what he always told us. I was fucking counting on it now.
I also Googled Joe and was surprised to see all that came up.
I can’t believe we never fuckin’ knew. He’d been huge, discovered tons of bands, including The Hurricanes.
Preston Mitchell would remember him, you don’t forget the man who starts your career—too bad mine was Rod Dixon, I’d do all I could to fuckin' forget him when this was all over.
I did a bit more research on the computer, and then checked the weather for the show. It was going to be hot, but no rain, which was great since the Jiffy Lube Live was an outdoor amphitheater. I really hated playing in the rain. It fucked up everything.
Grabbing my phone I pulled up Twitter. I’d been checking it on and off since I’d found out about Sweets’ posts.
It looked like the picture wasn’t showing up anywhere else, which was good, and he could have kissed her when he realized she hadn’t put Cynda’s name on the tweet, just that she was the songwriter for the record company.
He knew Symmetry would be pissed but he hoped he could take care of that too.
If he could make sure there was no fucking blow back on Cyn it’d be enough, even if she didn’t forgive him.
She deserved to be happy and he didn’t know if he could keep from fuckin’ that up.
The music was still laying on the table. I spread it on the bed and grabbed my guitar going back to work on the song. It needed to be fucking perfect.