Chapter One #3
“My parents were killed when I was six. Kudlaks aren’t like Krsniks. We don’t live in clans. We tend to kill each other too easily. My parents and I lived on our own, and I didn’t have anyone else. I was lucky when Parrish saved me.” Or maybe he hadn’t been. He wasn’t quite sure anymore.
“He took me in,” Nic continued. “He protected me as I grew up.”
“That makes it sound like he’s a good person, but we both know he’s not,” Devon pointed out. “How was growing up with him?”
“Awful,” Nic said honestly. “I was always grateful because I would have died if it wasn’t for him, but he never let me forget it.
He used the fact that he saved me against me for most of my life.
When I disappointed him, he wondered out loud if he should’ve let me die.
When I wouldn’t do something, he reminded me that I was only alive because of him.
He raised me, but he was never a parent.
He was never loving.” No, Nic had lost all of that when his parents had died.
“I’m sorry you had to go through all of that,” Devon murmured. “And I understand better why you worked with him.”
“I didn’t have a choice. It was either do it or be killed.”
“Maybe. He sent you to befriend me, right?”
“He wanted an in into the village, and since you’re human, he knew you wouldn’t know what I am.”
“He used you.”
“It’s what he does. He uses people. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself, and I don’t think he ever has.
He wants to destroy the village and eradicate the clan, and he’ll find a way to do it.
He might not have me anymore, but I’m not the only one working with him.
He has plenty of Kudlaks he’s terrorized over the years who will do whatever he asks just so they won’t be killed. ”
“Has anyone ever left?” Ryan asked. “That seems like the easiest way to stop doing what Parrish wants.”
“It’s not. It’s the easiest way to get yourself killed.
People have tried. No one has succeeded.
Parrish always finds them, drags them back, and uses them as an example.
I’ve had to watch too many people get brutally murdered because they wanted freedom from Parrish.
” Nic sucked in a breath. “I know that people think we’re monsters, and I understand why.
With everything that happened between Kudlaks and Krsniks and Kudlaks like Parrish still hunting Krsniks and killing them, I don’t expect anyone to think differently of us.
Some are all in and want the same things as Parrish, but most just want to be safe. ”
Including Nic. He hadn’t felt safe since his parents had died. Even though he’d been relieved when Parrish had taken him in because it had meant he wouldn’t die, he’d known he wasn’t safe. He still wasn’t.
A knock on the door interrupted the conversation before Devon could say anything.
Nic was glad. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what Devon thought of his story.
He was sure that Devon and Ryan felt sorry for him, but he didn’t know if that excused what he’d done.
He’d been trying to survive, but people could have died.
Devon could have died, and he was Nic’s only friend.
Nic had never wanted him to be hurt, which was why he’d put distance between them.
He cared about Devon, and he didn’t want anything to happen to him.
Something had happened, anyway. Nic didn’t deserve a second chance.
He certainly didn’t deserve for Devon to forgive him.
It didn’t matter what happened to him in the past. He wasn’t six years old anymore.
He was an adult, and as one, he should have stood up to Parrish.
He should’ve died rather than hurt people.
Ryan opened the door. He stepped aside, and a blond man came in.
His hair was tied at the back of his head, and it looked soft and inviting.
The man’s blue eyes moved as his gaze jumped around the room, taking everything in, but Nic couldn’t look away from him.
The man was handsome, and Nic wondered why he was there for a moment before noticing the tray the man was carrying.
“Hey, Tamsin,” Devon said. “Did Rowan and Clay send you?”
Tamsin raised the tray. “I have food.”
He moved toward Nic without hesitating, which surprised Nic. He’d expected Krsniks and Vila to keep their distance from him. He understood why Devon was here since Devon was human and they were friends, but Tamsin?
Tamsin didn’t only move toward Nic. He smiled at him as he put down the tray on the dresser, then turned to him. “Hi. I’m Tamsin.”
“Nic,” Nic said, then wondered why he bothered. Tamsin obviously knew who he was.
Tamsin leaned closer, offering Nic his hand. Nic reached for it, but before he could touch it, he was hit by Tamsin’s scent.
Normally, he wouldn’t have thought anything about it. Yes, it was odd considering the situation, but it was also nice not to be treated like an enemy. That wasn’t what Nic focused on, though. No, he was more focused on the scent of his mate.
He blinked. Tamsin’s eyes were wide, and both of them seemed frozen. Tamsin knew, then. There was no way he didn’t.
Nic cleared his throat and took a step back.
He glanced at Devon and Ryan, who were softly talking and probably hadn’t realized something was happening.
That was good. Considering the situation, Nic wasn’t going to say anything about Tamsin being his mate.
If Tamsin wanted people to know, he’d have to tell them himself.
Nic was still a prisoner. He might not be executed, but nothing would change the fact that he’d betrayed his only friend and had almost gotten the village destroyed. No one would want him as a mate. He wouldn’t make things awkward for Tamsin, not when he could avoid it.
Even though he felt like crying.
* * * *
TAMSIN WONDERED IF this was what being in shock felt like. Was he in shock? He didn’t know. He just knew that the man in front of him was his mate, something he hadn’t seen coming.
He could never have imagined that his mate would be a Kudlak.
He wasn’t sure how he felt about it, or how he felt about the fact that Nic was a prisoner.
Honestly, he wasn’t sure what to think about anything right now.
His mind was spinning, and he was trying hard not to make what was happening obvious.
Nic had to know they were mates, but Devon and Ryan?
It would be best for them not to find out until Nic and Tamsin had the time to talk.
Which they would have since Nic was a prisoner.
Tamsin’s mate was a prisoner. He was locked up because he’d been helping Parrish. He’d been on the wrong side.
But he wasn’t anymore.
Tamsin couldn’t afford to freak out right now.
He’d have to wait until he was home alone.
For now, he was here for a reason. He needed to get to know his mate.
He needed to get answers out of him. Their connection could make that easier or more complicated.
Tamsin didn’t know yet, but he was going to find out.
He took a step back to give Nic the opportunity to grab the tray.
He’d made the food himself, and it was still warm.
He hoped Nic would enjoy it, but maybe he’d think that Tamsin was trying to poison him or something.
There was no way to know what Nic thought of the Vila, but everyone knew that Kudlaks didn’t like anyone but themselves.
They didn’t even live in clans like Krsniks and Vila did. They were loners.
Was Nic? Because when Parrish had attacked, it had looked like he had a lot of supporters. Did they all live together? That didn’t sound right, but things had changed over the decades. Tamsin certainly had.
He cleared his throat. “I’ll be the one to take care of you from now on,” he told Nic. “I’ll bring you food and anything else you might need.”
Nic nodded. He wasn’t saying anything about their bond, which was a relief but also made Tamsin wonder what he thought of it. He wished they were alone. He could have asked, then.
But he could feel Devon watching him. What would Devon think if he knew about the bond?
Would he be happy for Nic? Would he worry about Tamsin?
Devon and Tamsin weren’t exactly friends.
They knew each other and lived in the same village, and they were part of the same clan, but neither of them had been here long.
The clan hadn’t been here long. They were all still learning how to live together.
“We should probably go,” Ryan said, pushing away from the wall. He moved toward Devon, who leaned against him as soon as they were close enough.
Devon was watching Nic with a frown on his face. “We can stay awhile longer if you want, Nic,” he offered.
Nic waved him away. “You’ve already wasted enough of your time here. Go and spend time with your mate.”
Devon’s frown deepened, but he nodded. “All right. You know that you can reach out to me if you need anything, right?”
Nic shook his head. “There’s no need for you to do that. I’ll be fine.”
“Maybe, but still. If you need anything, let me know.” Devon turned to Tamsin. “You’re not going to hurt him, are you?”
Tamsin wouldn’t have dreamed of doing that even if Nic hadn’t been his mate. “Vila aren’t violent. You don’t have to worry about me doing anything to Nic. I’m just here to make sure he’s fed and has everything he needs.”
“Except freedom.”
“I’m fine, Devon,” Nic insisted. “And I’m here because of something I did. I deserve to be locked up.”
Devon opened his mouth, probably to say that wasn’t true, but Ryan squeezed his arm and shook his head. Devon still didn’t look happy, but he followed Ryan out the door, leaving Tamsin and Nic alone. Ryan closed the door, and the only thing left in the room was silence.
For a moment, Tamsin focused on that. He could hear the wind outside, Nic’s breathing, and the low volume of the TV. He had questions, and he was sure Nic had more, but he wasn’t sure where to start.
“So,” he said.
Nic shook his head and moved away. “So nothing.”
“I don’t think we can ignore this.”
“Why not? It would be better for both of us, and definitely better for you.”
“I don’t see how.”
“I realize that I’m the only mate you’ll get. I’m sorry you got saddled with me, but you should probably start making your peace with the fact that you won’t have a mate.”
“I do have a mate. It’s you.”
Nic went to sit in the window seat. He didn’t say anything else, didn’t argue Tamsin’s point or anything like that, but then, it would be useless. They both knew that they were mates. There was no hiding that from each other.
Nic didn’t look happy. Was it because of what Tamsin was? Or was it because of the circumstances? “Is it because I’m a Vila?” he asked.
Nic didn’t look at him, but he snorted. “I don’t care what you are.
You should care what I am, though. I don’t know you, but I’m sure you must have lost plenty of people to Kudlaks.
The only thing we’re good at is killing and hurting people.
The people in this village are proof of that.
You shouldn’t want to be anywhere near me, let alone be my mate.
I don’t understand why you’re still here. ”
“Because you wouldn’t be my mate if you weren’t a good person.”
“Unless Fate made a mistake.”
Tamsin didn’t think that Fate made mistakes. If she’d decided to pair the two of them, there had to be a good reason for it. He didn’t know the reason, but no matter what Nic seemed to think, he was unwilling to give up on their bond before they could do anything about it.
Was he overwhelmed? Yes. Was he stunned by the fact that his mate was a Kudlak? Of course he was. He’d always thought it would be a Vila like him, or maybe a Krsnik. Hell, it could have been a human, too. It could have been anyone but a Kudlak, who were sworn enemies of Krnisks and Vila.
But it wasn’t anyone else. It was Nic, and Tamsin truly believed that the two of them wouldn’t be fated to be together if Nic was a bad person. That meant that Nic wasn’t, and Tamsin had to help him.
“The fact that you’re my mate will help you,” he said. “When I tell the clan leaders, they’ll probably go easy on you.”
“You shouldn’t tell anyone.”
“You think I’m going to hide you?”
“You should.” Nic finally turned to Tamsin. “What good will it do to tell your family and your clan that we’re mates? No one here trusts me, and they’re right not to. I was a part of the attack against the village. A lot of people could have died or been hurt.”
“And they weren’t because of you.”
Nic stared at Tamsin for a moment. “I’m a Kudlak. I’m a monster.”
“You are a Kudlak,” Tamsin agreed because there was no denying that. “It doesn’t make you a monster. It makes you a Kudlak, and that’s it.” He hesitated. “You’re very young, aren’t you?”
Nic narrowed his eyes but nodded curtly. “So what if I am?”
“You being young means you had nothing to do with what Parrish and other Kudlaks did in the past. You didn’t exterminate my clan. You didn’t kill everyone Rowan loves.”
“It doesn’t mean I didn’t hurt people. Parrish raised me.”
“And as soon as you were away from him, you went against him. He sent you to Devon for a reason, didn’t he?”
Tamsin might get the information Rowan and the others wanted, but it wasn’t what he was aiming for.
Right now, he was just trying to show Nic that there was a future for them.
He didn’t know what kind of future or how to get it, but he was sure of that.
Eventually, they’d find a way to make it work. Tamsin had to believe it.
“Yeah,” Nic said. “He sent me to Devon to betray him, and I did. I think you should go. It’s probably better if you forget about me, but if you can’t, you should stay away. Nothing good can come out of this.”
Maybe he was right, but Tamsin wasn’t ready to give up just yet.