39. Rian
Thirty Nine
Rian
That conference table has become my favourite piece of furniture in the whole entire world.
No antique or modern design can compare.
I have a constant hard-on at work just from looking at that thing.
God, Catriona was a sight to behold a few nights ago, all bound and helpless.
But best of all was how I calmed her, stilled her fear.
I’ve always been told that rope and role-play is built on trust, but all my previous partners have been experienced and knew what to expect.
Earning Catriona’s trust, learning her triggers and boundaries, being her mentor, her master, it’s beyond anything I’ve ever hoped to achieve from a sexual experience.
There’s a knock, and the woman who has possessed every corner of my mind stands in the doorway. “You were looking for me, Mr Kearney?”
“Yes. Can you please close the door?” I chuckle at the light in her eyes. “Sorry, it’s work related.”
Her pretend pout makes me grin, but my cock instantly twitches at the sight of her arse as she turns to do as I said. “Miss Taylor,” I continue when she’s in front of my desk. “I’ve reviewed your work contract, and I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re due a pay raise.”
I wait for her to reply, but she only stares blankly at me.
“I’m giving you a raise,” I repeat.
The idea came to me earlier this morning. I suggested we go for dinner on Saturday night – I know this nice restaurant out in the countryside where we won’t run into anyone – but she declined. I suspect it has to do with her money situation. Not that I’d allow her to pay for the meal.
Catriona hints at not having much money – not in a needy way, trying to make me pay for things or give her gifts, but rather in a shy, humble and matter-of-fact way. Maybe she’s embarrassed about it, but she doesn’t look for sympathy or handouts.
“You what?”
The lost expression on her face makes me laugh. “A raise, Catriona, I’m giving you a raise.”
“The fuck you are.”
“Huh?”
“What the hell, Rian?” She only-just-short-of yells. “What the hell are you trying to do?”
“What am I trying to do? I’m – I’m giving you a raise!” I repeat for what feels like the hundredth time. “I thought you’d be happy about this!”
“Seriously? You seriously thought I would be happy?!”
My ice queen, normally stoically calm and collected no matter what I throw at her, is waving her arms, eyes dark with anger, and breathing heavily through her nose.
I’ll never tell her, but she looks like an avenging goddess.
I secretly wish she had her hair loose and jacket off to complete the delectable image.
Shifting in my office chair, I try to steer my thoughts away from my distracting imagination.
“Um, yes, in fact I did. If I were offered a raise, I would grab it with both hands!”
“Well, there you have the difference between you and me.” Again, big arm movements, and her accent broadens. “I actually have some integrity and moral standards that I try to live by. I am not sleeping with you to get benefits or to spur my career on!”
I wince, both at her not-so-far-from-the-truth description of me and at the fact that she thinks I’m trying to reward her for sex.
“I am not giving you a raise because you’re sleeping with me!” I hiss, trying to keep my voice low.
“No? Then tell me,” she says. “Would you have suggested this if we weren’t sleeping together?”
I sigh deeply and bury my head in my hands.
“No, I didn’t think so,” she continues sarcastically. “You think I’m some kind of whore who takes payment for my services?”
Oh God, this is backfiring.
I hold my palms up in what I know is a futile attempt to calm her. “Please just listen to me for one second.” She starts to speak, but I cut her off in a quiet voice. “Please. Just one second.”
I pause, making sure she won’t explode again. Her arms are crossed over her chest, and her eyes are as cold as I’ve ever seen them, but she remains quiet.
“Apparently, you were scheduled to be promoted before I came back.” Her eyebrows shoot up. I finally have her attention. “However, to ensure that I didn’t screw up on my first job with KSS, my father decided to keep you on as a junior assistant for longer. To babysit me.”
Her jaw drops. “Oh.”
I’m surprised by the hurt in her eyes.
“I’m sorry.” A lump in my throat makes me swallow. “I only found out myself the other day, when Dad caught me flirting with you in the reception. I guess he never saw a reason to terminate your babysitting duties, since I haven’t done such an impressive job my first few months here.”
I offer a lopsided smile that she doesn’t return. Now I really feel bad about my selfish, lazy behaviour. I’m a terrible boss.
“I asked Harriet why I wasn’t promoted before she left – you know, your predecessor?
” Catriona’s tone is quiet. “Harriet said there were some strategic considerations. I wish she and your father had been straight with me – and with you.” She snorts.
“And then I could have negotiated a better salary for my babysitting duties instead of being insulted with your current offer!” The anger is back.
“I’m sorry, but now you probably understand where my offer came from.
” I run my fingers through my hair. “If it hadn’t been for me, you’d have better pay by now – and probably more interesting work tasks as well.
Since you’re the junior assistant in my team with the most experience, I should get away with adjusting your salary without any questions asked. ”
The quietness in the room is grating on my nerves as I wait for her response.
“I still won’t accept the offer. If you want, you can review my salary at the next quarterly budget meeting.
But I will not accept it out of the blue and with no set procedure or protocol to back it up.
” Then she adds bitterly, “I’d rather go without pay than have someone whispering behind my back about how I managed to get the raise. ”
She is dead serious, and I can’t help but admire her pride and integrity. Just the latest items on my list of things I admire about her.
I know I should be worried about how right things seem between us.
It started with sex, and it’s no doubt the best sex I’ve ever had.
But there are other things too. Like how easy it is to talk to her.
The way I don’t get tired of her company.
How she moulds perfectly to my body when we’re sleeping.
And yes, we hardly spend a night apart. Seeing her sleepy eyes first thing in the morning brings a smile to my face.
I hate every second that she’s not nearby, which caused me to cancel meeting my friends twice this week, even though Alexandra was supposed to be there. Especially because Alexandra was supposed to be there. The way things are, I can’t face seeing her.
How can it ever end between Catriona and me when it feels so right? And how long can we keep it up without anyone knowing? We will be found out, sooner or later. Then what? How long will Catriona be happy being my dirty little secret?
“Okay, I’ll agree to wait until the next budget meeting,” I finally concede. “On one condition.”
“And what’s that.” The blue in her gaze glitters in suspicion.
“You’ll let me pay for dinner on Saturday.”
* * *
“Okay?… See you soon, Daniel. Bye, bye. Bye.”
Catriona ends the call. I shift my gaze from the road to her.
She makes a face. “I’m sorry to ruin your dinner plans.”
Our dinner plans, where she had agreed to let me pay without making a scene about it.
“Don’t be. We’ll go some other time. And it’s not your fault.”
Catriona huffs. “As much as I hate to prove you right, it’s my lack of social life that makes my aunt and uncle expect me to take their place at the drop of a hat, even on a Saturday night.”
I grin. “Miss Taylor admitting I’m right. Sweet, sweet victory.” I’m too busy navigating to look at her, but I sense her glare at the side of my face. I chose my BMW SUV today; it’s a monster of a car, but a more comfortable drive than my vintage Jaguar.
“I’ll get you in the long grass,” she promises, then softens her tone. “Are you sure you’re okay to join me? I know it’s a bit early to be introduced to family…”
It is, and we did agree to keep “us” a secret for now. Hell, it never even occurred to me to introduce her to Rosie the other day.
“As long as Daniel is okay with me there.”
“He hates changes of routine and would be upset if no one came to see him on a Saturday night, but he’s fine with strangers.
Daniel isn’t stupid, you know. Just because he’s awkward and doesn’t always communicate well doesn’t mean that he can’t understand what’s going on.
” I am surprised to hear forcefulness in Catriona’s tone, but I understand it’s a reflection of conversations she must have had numerous times growing up.
I give her a small, encouraging smile, and she calms a bit.
“Daniel has always been marginalised. Because he’s not good verbally, some people talk over his head or treat him like he doesn’t exist. It makes me so angry. ”
The more Catriona talks, the more nervous I get. Truthfully, right now, under the quiet rumble of my car, I’m shitting bricks. It’s as if meeting Daniel is the test I need to pass to gain Catriona’s respect. And it’s very important to me that she respects me, although I refuse to face why that is.
As Daniel opens the door to his bedsit in the assisted living unit, he neither looks at us nor greets us.
Unfazed, Catriona walks into the small apartment and motions for me to follow.
Daniel sits on the sofa, his focus trained on the TV, and doesn’t look up as Catriona introduces me as her friend. He does however offer a small “hi”.
“Will you make us some tea, Daniel?” Catriona asks, and Daniel immediately gets up from his seat.
He fusses over the kettle and lines up our three mugs perfectly.
He asks me several questions about how I take my tea.
Determined to do things right, I respond directly to Daniel in adult sentences, avoiding childish or simple language.
“Do you play darts?” Daniel asks later, when we’re sitting around the TV sipping our tea and munching chocolate coated Hobnobs. He still hasn’t looked at me.
“Sometimes. I played a lot when I was younger. We have a dartboard on the wall of our boathouse,” I answer. “Catriona tells me you’re quite the expert.”
“Yes.”
He gets up and opens the doors of the dartboard on the wall, then supplies us with three darts each.
“This is a proper professional set-up,” I comment and point to the black line taped to the floor that Daniel positions himself behind.
“Yes.”
“Game on.” Catriona winks and takes Daniel’s place after he’s finished. Daniel counts the points perfectly, hardly glancing at the board before adding them up. I hardly glance at the board either, too distracted by how fantastic Catriona’s arse looks in her tight jeans.
“Again!” I insist when Daniel wins the round. My nerves are gone, and I’m surprised at how at ease I am and how much I’m enjoying myself. There’s something so genuine and real about it, nothing fake or pretend.
“You sure your ego can take another beating?” Catriona teases, wiggling her eyebrows. I’m not bad at darts, but I’m no match for these two.
“You watch that smart mouth of yours, young lady,” I threaten and point the dart at her.
“Or what?”
“Keep it up and you’ll find out.”
Her eyes darken, and I chuckle under my breath. Before she can respond, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I fish it out and swallow when I see Alexandra’s name on the screen. Fuck. She never phones me. Quickly, I dismiss the call, trying to ignore the questioning look in Catriona’s eyes.
“Bring it on,” I say and jump on the spot while loosening my shoulders and cracking my neck like a boxer. Daniel gives me a side glance and draws his brows while Catriona snickers.
All thoughts of Alexandra are long gone when we get ready to leave.
No surprise, Daniel won every round with Catriona second and me the sore loser.
Catriona closes the door behind us and smiles up at me.
I passed the test. I squeeze her hand, and there’s a lightness to my step that I haven’t felt in ages.
“Let’s head up to your place,” I say, unwilling to leave her world.
“Chinese takeaway?” she suggests.
“Sounds perfect.”
We eat out on her balcony, a single candle flickering amongst her pots of herbs.
My laughter flows easily between mouthfuls of spicy curry as she animatedly tells me about her basil and coriander hopes.
She stacks the plastic containers when we can’t eat any more, and I lift her from her chair onto my lap.
She grabs a blanket – that apparently her granny knitted – and wraps it around us to keep us warm from the damp evening air.
I don’t need it, though. My skin is sizzling and my heart feels too big for my chest.
A train squeals past on its tracks, but once it’s gone, not a sound can be heard.
“Do you have any idea how pretty you are?” I say into the quiet darkness.
Catriona tucks her face against the crook of my neck. “No, I don’t. But do tell.” I know she’s smiling.
I wrap her hair around my fist and guide her head back so she can’t hide from me.
“Let me tell you. Your hair is the colour of warm sunshine, so soft and thick that I happily could get lost in it.” I tighten my fist for effect.
A soft moan is my much-appreciated reward.
Touching her forehead with my other hand, I trace a path down the edge of her nose.
“Your nose is the perfect shape and size.”
“My nose?” She chuckles.
“Uh-huh, it’s not too big and not too small.
” My fingers reach her mouth, gently following her upper lip and then the lower.
Once. Twice. Her lips part and her eyes darken with building desire.
My tone lowers. “Your mouth. I’ve travelled the world, but your mouth is the most tempting I’ve ever seen.
Plump lips that are constantly asking me to kiss them. Begging me…”
“Yes,” she whispers, but I don’t do it. Instead, my gaze moves up.
“And your eyes…” A growl vibrates behind my sternum. “I used to think they were made of ice.” I lightly trace her eyebrow. “But your cousin made me realise they’re diamonds.”
“My cousin?” she whispers.
“Yeah. Eric said you were a diamond, and he’s right.
I thought you were a block of cold ice, but you’re a pure diamond, with clarity and cut beyond anything on a royal crown.
I was blinded by your sparkle, so much so that I didn’t see you.
” Now her eyes sparkle suspiciously in the dim light.
I push the blanket aside and expose the skin on her chest above her top.
My heart races. “I need you, Cat, I need you now.”
I stand up with her still in my arms and carry her into the living room, the blanket dropping to the floor. My mouth is demanding as I claim hers, as I claim her body and do my best to claim her heart.
Just like she has claimed mine.