41. Catriona
Forty One
Catriona
“Oh come’ere, do I have gossip for you!”
I can’t help but snicker at Trevor’s eager face as he rushes over to join us for our coffee break at Mona’s desk – he can be such a girl sometimes. I’ve started relishing these breaks with my colleagues – it’s refreshing and energising.
Something else I’m relishing is secret moments with Rian.
I’ve hardly seen him the last couple of days, though.
I took yesterday morning off to go to the bank, and he’s been busy with meetings.
Add that he was out with his friends last night and left after lunch today to stay the night at his parents for some family gathering, and I’m having serious withdrawal symptoms.
My trip to the bank was necessary. Spending time with Rian has made me accept that I have to change my mortgage conditions.
I’ll now pay less every month but over a longer period.
It will give me some badly needed spending money.
I can’t sit in my apartment with only coins in my pocket. As Rian said, I need to live a little.
Shockingly, I’ve also decided to go to the spring barbeque.
I feel so alive and unafraid these days.
I’m actually looking forward to it, despite knowing it will be torturous seeing Rian without touching him.
Hopefully, I can at least get one dance with him, maybe even sneak a kiss behind some bushes.
“Go on, tell us then.” Mona looks expectantly up at Trevor for his gossip.
“I know why Rian’s been in such a good mood lately!” Trevor whispers.
Panic jolts me awake, and Trevor suddenly has my full attention. Does he know about us? Is our secret out? Oh God, what will happen now? Wait, he wouldn’t tell me the gossip if it was about me.
“Alexandra has finally caved!”
What?
“What do you mean?” I croak.
“Rian and Alexandra are going on a date tonight! He’s taking her to the reopening of Exubier. You know, the two-star Michelin restaurant on Merrion square!”
I blink. He…he what? No, Rian is going to some family thing. Maybe Trevor’s misunderstood and Rian went to this restaurant yesterday. With all his friends?
“About time! That’s fantastic!” Mona tries to muffle her squeal. “And Exubier! I can only dream about one day going there – and on the opening night!”
“H-how do you know?” I try to sound normal, but my lips are so numb they hardly move.
Trevor leans forward and whispers eagerly, “Well, you know Orla is always discreet and usually wouldn’t discuss any personal matters from Rian’s schedule.
But she’s been rooting for Alexandra and Rian for years – she’s worked for the Kearney family for forever.
So, she wasn’t able to hold back when I asked her in the kitchen why she was smiling so much.
” He does a dramatic pause before he delivers the hammer blow.
“Rian has asked Orla to send two dozen red roses to Alexandra’s apartment this afternoon and he’s picking her up in a chauffeured car at seven thirty. ”
No, that can’t be… He wouldn’t… Cold pricks my scalp, down my neck and through my limbs, leaving a numbness in its wake.
Oblivious to the world crashing down around me, Mona is bouncing in her seat. “She was here yesterday morning, looking all gorgeous in this amazing red dress.”
Mona’s and Trevor’s voices seem to come from far away, like through a tunnel. I hope that I smile and laugh at the right places.
Mona nudges me. “Your phone is ringing.”
“Oh!”
Without knowing how, I manage to make my legs move. The hand that reaches for the receiver is trembling.
“KS…KSS, Catriona Taylor speaking.”
It’s one of our clients, asking questions that I’m unable to grasp. I excuse myself, saying I’ll get their file and will call back later.
I hang up and head to the bathroom, not looking left or right, my vision blurring at the edges. Locking myself in one of the cubicles, I slump down on the toilet seat and stare blankly at the wall.
Two weeks. Two weeks is all I got.
Oh, please say it isn’t true! Could Trevor have misunderstood?
No, it all fits. Rian’s distance the last couple of days. His so-called family gathering tonight.
I thought I saw love in his eyes this weekend, but the love could only have been skin-deep.
How else could he arrange to go on a date with someone else – flowers and car – behind my back?
His deceit hurts as much as knowing it’s over.
A sob travels up my chest, and I quickly press my palm to my trembling lips.
She gets two dozen roses. I got a twine flower made from a table decoration.
Two weeks. Two weeks.
I’m no fool – I know what’s happened. I have without knowing it caught Alexandra for Rian.
She must have smelled danger since Rian hasn’t been showing his usual attention.
She decided to bite the hook before it was pulled away from her.
A snort escapes me – his sister had suggested this very tactic to catch the Harrington heir, only using Mona instead of me.
It takes almost half an hour before I have enough control over myself to return to my desk. All my life I’ve been putting my personal life to the back of my mind to focus on work and my career. I can do it again, I tell myself. Pull your fecking big-girl pants up!
Professional to the fingertips, I call my client back and answer all their queries. During the rest of the afternoon, I look over the O’Toole file for Gemma and chat politely with my colleagues when needed.
My cold professional exterior lasts until I step into my apartment.
Two weeks, I only got two weeks.
I finally release the hurt that I’ve suppressed. It consumes me, gnarling at my stomach, occupying every cell of my body. An unhuman cry fills my small apartment as sobs wreck my body.
My mother didn’t exaggerate. This is hell.
Two weeks, he was mine.
And now he’s gone.