Chapter 27
Jasmine
“Sit up straight, Jasmine!” Mama snaps, and I flinch as my daddy sighs, “Just let her eat her dinner, Madison. No one else is around.”
“No, because then she’ll get complacent and I won’t have that!” Mama snaps, and Dad chuckles darkly, “She’s five, Madison,” causing her to glare at him while my brother moves his food around his plate, ignoring our bickering parents.
***
I blink as warm water hits my face and Logan stands before me, still dressed, his clothes getting wet.
Why is he letting his clothes get soaked? That doesn’t make sense. Am I missing something?
Did he just walk in? No, that can't be right—when did he come? I don't remember hearing the door.
Where was I before this? Am I forgetting something?
Where am I?
I did it—I killed Mama. I can feel it everywhere. Every breath confirms it.
***
“Jasmine!” Mama shouts, and I look up from my desk in shock as my heart pounds with fear at her tone, and my mind frets.
“Oh god, what did I do?” I mutter just as my bedroom door slams open, making me jump, and Mama storms in, her face, despite being covered in makeup red, her eyes blazing with anger.
“I just got a call from your math teacher!” she snaps, and I freeze.
Mr. Harry, or more like Mr. Handsy, as the girls in 3rd grade like to call him, myself included.
“He said you snapped at him, that you lied!” she accuses, and I swallow hard, not bothering to tell her that he tried to touch my butt when he asked me to stay behind in class because, apparently, he thought I was cheating.
Thankfully, the principal believed me when I told him after Mr. Harry tried to lie, but only because there are cameras hidden in every room, something the teachers are not aware of, for this reason, and I’m sworn to secrecy.
I forgot Mr. Harry is friends with my parents though and probably sleeping with my mama.
“Basement!” she growls, and I swallow hard as I slowly stand, knowing I won’t see daylight for a good few weeks for giving lip to one of her lovers despite said lover being a big old perv.
I could tell her he lost his job, but she wouldn’t believe me, would she?
As soon as I get close, Mama grips my arm, her nails digging into my skin. I bite my bottom lip to hold back a cry as she drags me toward the stairs. My brother watches from his partly open bedroom door, unwilling to interfere for fear of joining me.
***
“Buttercup?” Tank whispers and I blink in confusion.
I’m on a counter, in only a towel, his chiseled chest is on display.
When did I?
How did I?
Confusion hits as my mother’s bloody body appears before me.
She’s dead.
***
“You’ve gained weight, Jasmine!” Mama accuses as she stands behind me, trying to zip up a dress three sizes too small.
I’m eight—I’m supposed to grow, but to Mama, that isn’t good.
“Then it’s one salad a day and water,” she declares and I stay quiet because what’s the point in arguing?
***
"How is she?” a voice asks and I blink realizing I'm in bed.
I don’t recognize anything around me.
Where am I?
Why am I here? I see it clearly—I killed Mama. My mind won’t let it go.
Logan chokes beside me, "She's barely reacted to anything. I'm fucking scared, Anchor."
Anchor whispers back, "She's in shock, Tank, give her time."
***
“Madison, leave the girl alone—it’s Christmas. If she wants to wear her flannels to open presents, then let her!” Granny snaps as my mother stands before me, fists clenched, her expression stern.
She wants to drag me to the basement—I can see it. But with Granny here, she can’t risk her place to live. I’ll pay soon though because every good moment costs.
“Come, Jasmine,” Granny orders, “I want you to open the gift I bought you. I think you will love it.”
Without looking at Mama, I rush to Granny, take her hand, and feel instantly safe while my brother gives me a sad smile.
***
“Her arm was pulled out of the socket,” I hear and I blink, but see only red.
“Is she in a cast?” Logan asks and the voice replies, “Only for a few weeks so it can heal.”
I block them out.
I’m a murderer. I killed my own mother.
***
“What do you mean you’re leaving?!” Granny snaps with fury, and I flinch at the harsh look she’s giving me.
“I-I, I need to leave Granny, I’m so sorry,” I choke as I stand by her door, trying my hardest not to look over my shoulder, trying my hardest not to cup my stomach.
I need to leave before Mama finds me, or before Logan’s mama does as she threatens.
Oh god, I have to leave him, my home, my everything to save him, to save our unborn child.
My body trembles as my eyes tear up at the look of disappointment from the woman I see as a mother as she asks, “And what about Logan? That man loves you!”
My chin wobbles, the urge to ball consuming, but I swallow my emotions and choke, “He’s better off with someone who can handle club life.”
Granny’s eyes blaze over, and I take a step back, knowing she’s about to try and get up and grab me before calling the man, and I whisper, “I love you, Granny,” before I turn and rush away from her room, her shouted, “Jasmine!” following me down the hallway.
She’ll never forgive me. Neither will Logan.
***
I blink as I hear Doc murmur, “I'm a fucking doctor just like you, and even I'm stumped about how to get Jas back with us,” while I feel lips press against my hand.
“Mama…” I whisper, and the hand holding mine tightens.
She’s dead.
“She’s stuck in guilt,” Logan chokes, “she knows she had to do what she did for our daughter, to save her, and now she’s stuck in limbo where she’s kept Ais safe but killed her mother.”
I killed my mother. My blood. It doesn’t matter why—I can’t stop seeing it, feeling it.
“Did you speak to Brady?” Doc asks softly.
Brady, my brother—he lost mom because of me.
He’s going to hate me.
"Yeah, he's catching the first flight back and managed to convince his dad to stay away for now after I told him what happened," Logan says.
The basement, I’m going to be put in the basement for a long time and they won’t care that I could be pregnant, I just know it.
Oh god, the baby, my baby.
My breaths turn shallow, panic setting in.
She could have killed my baby.
Doc growls, “Fuck,” as I shake with worry and pain for the possible unborn child.
“Buttercup, breathe,” Logan says as warm hands cup my cheek but all I see is my mother’s dead body and breathing gets harder.
I’ve ruined my child. I hurt Ais by taking her to the toy shop.
A mistake. I’m always making mistakes.
Oh god, I keep messing up.
“Jas!” Logan snaps, but everything goes dark as my mother's lifeless eyes are the last thing I see before I pass out.