Chapter 28
Tank – A Week Later
I rub my mouth with the palm of my hand as I watch Jas sit numbly next to Ais, who is coloring.
It isn’t easy for Ais, who’s struggling with a big pink cast on her right arm but the girl is persistent and even now her little tongue is poking out as she tries to concentrate.
Jas, meanwhile, just stares ahead, lost in her own world, though she never strays far from our daughter.
It’s been a week, and she hasn’t said a word since her panic attack.
I’m terrified I’m losing her—she spends every moment with Aisling, even staying in her room at the farmhouse, and keeping close by here at the club or garage, as if she’s memorizing our daughter before she leaves.
I’m at a loss on what to do.
How do I help her through the fact that she beat her own mother to death to save our daughter?
The answer is, I can’t, I can only be there for her and keep her from falling apart, but I fucking feel like I’m failing despite the fact that I’ve taken a sabbatical from work while still helping Dirty at the garage.
I’ve always ensured Aisling and Jas are with me, scared my girl is going to leave, to run, but I still feel like a fucking failure.
She’s a shell of herself.
“Look, Mama,” Aisling cheers, showing her mother a picture of a ballerina, or at least that is what I think it is anyhow, but Jas barely reacts, and Ais frowns with confusion, just like she has every time she tries to get her mother’s attention, and I know I need to pull in the big guns.
I shove off the door frame, chatter from the common room echoing behind me, and I give a nod to Vincent, who turns towards Doc's office just as Ais whispers, “I love you, Mama,” and I look in time to see her cupping Jasmine's cheek and fuck, even my eyes water at the dead look in my girl's eyes.
“Tank,” Vincent whispers from beside me, and I take my eyes off my girls and look his way and take the box off his hands. “Do you think this will work?” he asks, and I shrug.
“I don’t know,” I admit, “but we have to try something.” I tilt my head to the common room and command, “Go sit with her brother and father until the signal.”
He nods and heads that way, and I look back at my girls.
Ais is back to coloring while Jas continues to stare ahead, and I take a deep breath, really hoping this will work.
Brady and Terry are both aware of what has happened, both shocked, saddened, and very fucking worried about Jasmine, which is why they are waiting for my cue.
I’ve kept them updated throughout the week, giving her time to come to terms with the events, but unfortunately, she hasn’t come out of her shell, and I’m out of ideas.
I won’t lose my girl again. I refuse.
Taking a deep breath, I walk into the room and say, “Ais, I have something for you to look at, baby girl.”
Aisling turns my way while Jas doesn’t even blink.
Fuck.
“What, Daddy?” she asks as she turns in her seat, and I smile as I kneel before my little girl and show her the box full of treasures.
“In this box are the prized possessions of your great-grandmother, Granny. Would you like to see?” I say softly, my eyes twitching towards my girl, who finally looks my way, and I try not to smile as I allow Aisling to have a look inside the box, her instant attention going to the ballerina figurine.
She gasps in delight, then ever so gently picks up the trinket, which sits on a round stage.
“Granny said this was your mama’s,” I whisper, and Aisling's eyes light up as she looks at her mother, whose attention is now on the ballerina, her eyes tearing.
“Can I have it, Mama?” Aisling asks, and Jas blinks before finally, fucking finally, murmuring, “Of course, bumblebee,” and I swear I nearly fall on my ass hearing her voice again.
“Thank you, Mama,” Aisling whispers as she gently traces the ballerina's face.
I smile and say, “Why don’t you go show grandpa, baby girl,” and she nods as she gently stands, then kisses her mama’s cheek before skipping out of the room, and I swallow hard as I look at my girl, whose eyes are on the box.
Not once since she’s been back has she spoken about her grandmother because of guilt, and I really fucking hope I haven’t made things worse, but fuck, I need her back, I need my girl back.
“Granny,” she chokes as she gently picks up the scarf Granny knitted for her, and damn, my heart breaks seeing her tears.
“Jassy?” I hear by the door, but I don’t look away from Jasmine, and she slowly fucking finally comes back to me.
“I-I, I’m a murderer,” she chokes as she puts the scarf to her face, and my heart shatters.
“You saved your daughter, Jassy,” Brady whispers as he kneels before her, and I feel a figure behind me, and I know it’s her father.
Aisling going into the common room was their signal to come in and help me because sometimes, you need outside help to bring someone back.
Brady cups his sister's cheek, and her tears fall as they lock eyes, and he whispers, “She was ready to kill Aisling, Jas. Dad found the plans in her home drawer. She wanted what was Granny’s and thought she could get it with Aisling out of the way despite the fact you donated the whole fortune. She knew Dad was leaving her, and she acted. You did what you had to in order to save your daughter.”
“But she’s our mama,” she chokes, and I flinch at the pain radiating from her as Terry kneels beside his son, getting her attention.
“She wasn’t a mama to you, sweetheart, and I was blinded by the horror she turned into,” he says softly as Brady moves back a little and Terry takes his daughter into his arms, and her sobs that she held in within her stupor state pour out of her as she wraps her arms around her father’s neck, her body shaking.
I fist my hands to stop myself from taking her, and fuck me, it takes everything not to grab hold of her, even though everything inside me is telling me to grab hold of my girl and never let her fucking go.
She needs this.
“I-I keep seeing the blood, so much blood. What did I do?” she sobs, and I flinch as Brady looks away, unable to see his sister falling apart, “I-I left, I-I should-shouldn’t have come back. I hurt everyone a-around me, I left G-Granny, I-I hurt L-Logan, I-I, oh god, I killed my own mother.”
Fuck.
“I ruin everything,” she cries, and I can’t take it anymore.
I stand and take Jas from her father, whose tears stain his cheeks as he looks away and forcing her to stand, I cup her cheeks.
“You didn’t ruin anything,” I say vehemently, “She was going to kill Aisling, Jas, our little girl, she wanted her gone to punish you, to try and control you, to get money that wasn’t hers to have,” I place my forehead against hers, “Lean on me, buttercup, don’t shut me out.”
She shakes her head as she grips my cut, and her breathing becomes choppy before a scream full of pain erupts from her mouth, and her legs give out.
“Jas!” Brady says loudly, full of fear, and I quickly catch her as she cries her pain and guilt out, my jaw ticking as my eyes tear, and I follow her to the ground, holding her tightly to me as her screams echo around us.
“I-I can’t breathe,” she cries as she trembles against me, her sobs getting louder, and I squeeze her tighter to me.
“Fuck, she’s not going to be able to live with this,” Terry chokes, and I hold Jas even more tightly to me, refusing to let her go while she cries her heart out.
***
An hour later, I stand by the doorway, rubbing my thumb over my bottom lip as I watch Jas sleep in my bed. Outside, our daughter's singing from the common room just filters in.
“She’s amazing,” Terry whispers, and I hum.
“That she is.” I agree, “She has my looks but her mama’s personality, which in my eyes is amazing,” as I run my eyes over my girl, who is restless.
Throughout the week, several times I’ve heard her cry in her sleep, several times I’ve had to try and settle her so she didn’t wake Ais because she refused to be away from her.
“How is she going to get over this, Tank?” he asks.
“With our help,” I murmur, “because I won’t lose my girl.”
“Even though she ran and kept your daughter from you?” he questions, and I sigh.
“I understand her reasons,” I admit. “While I do resent her—a feeling I really fucking wish I didn’t have—I know I can’t live without her. It’ll just take time to get over everything.”
“She wanted to protect everyone while hurting herself,” Terry mumbles, and I hum because yeah, she did, only she ended up hurting everyone around her instead, especially Granny.
“Please don’t hurt my daughter,” Terry chokes, and I mutter, “Fucking never,” and he pats my back before walking away, most likely to spend a little time with Aisling where Brady is.
I sigh as I lean my head against the doorframe, my eyes locking with the light blue ones that are finally awake, ones I love so fucking much, and I give her a small smile as her eyes shine and fucking finally, they are no longer clouded.
“Hey, buttercup,” I whisper, and a few tears fall down her cheeks.
“Hey,” she chokes before she moves her eyes around the room without moving her head, and I say, “Brady and your dad are with Aisling in the common room.”
She nods as her eyes go to the box.
“Chanel brought it to the garage, it’s why she was there that day, buttercup,” I confirm her thoughts, and she nods.
“Granny would be so disappointed in me,” she whispers, but I shake my head.
“She knew you ran for a reason, Jas,” I instantly say, “She was proud of you.”
She makes a noise of disbelief in the back of her throat, and I sigh as she goes quiet again, but I don’t move because her eyes are still not clouded.
“What happened to Mama?” she finally asks after a few minutes of silence.
“Her body was burned then thrown into the ocean,” I admit, “but to everyone in the world, she fled with your dad's money, along with the money from the office which we donated to the Charites you donated Granny’s fortune to.”
Her tears fall as she nods and doesn’t say anything else, making my chest squeeze.
“Talk to me, buttercup,” I plead as I push off the doorframe and walk over to her before kneeling, “don’t shut me out, not now, please.”
“I’m so sorry, Logan,” she chokes, and I cup her cheek, “I’ve brought so much pain into your life and now this.”
“Jas…” I croak, but she continues, “When Mama dragged away Aisling, I felt like I couldn’t breathe, but when she attacked me outside in the alley when I ran after them, I felt like I’d gone back in time.
I went back to the girl, leaving a ball to get to her love, only to be attacked and trying to protect her baby. ”
I furrow my brows as I gently rub her tears away, and I ask, “What do you mean, buttercup?”
My heart thunders, the meaning of her words clear as day.
She said her mama attacked her, not Aisling, when she ran after them, meaning...
“I’m late, Logan, I-I was going to grab a test.” She chokes and fuck me...
So many emotions rush through me, but the thing that makes it harder for me to breathe is the fear in Jasmine’s eyes, along with the guilt, and I know this is going to be one hell of a roller coaster for her emotions.
I rub my thumb along her cheek, and I whisper, “We’re going to be okay,” and she lets out a sob, breaking my heart.
I lean forward and press my nose against her head as I inhale her scent and squeeze my eyes shut while laughter from the brothers echoes in the common room.
Taking a life isn’t easy, the guilt consumes you, and I just hope I can save my girl from this, especially when we might be bringing another baby into the world.
Fuck, another baby…