7. Sadie
Seven
Sadie
I woke up this morning with a headache. It’s pounding behind my temples and stretching across my scalp, and I have the feeling it’s going to be a long day. I didn’t sleep well. I tried, but after I got home and cried myself to sleep, I tossed and turned all night, restless dreams about Shane plaguing me, jolting me awake. Dreams where I confessed my feelings to him and he rejected me, laughed at me, kicked me out of his office. Dreams where he was standing on a boat as I watched from the shore. Dreams where he married some faceless woman as I watched from the back of the church, trying to scream but no sound would come.
In summation, I am a mess.
As I get dressed, eat breakfast, say goodbye to my parents, and leave to catch the subway downtown to the Thunder’s offices, I keep replaying the conversation from the night before in my mind. For a minute, Shane had seemed so soft and open with me. So glad I was there. I even thought he was going to kiss me, but then he abruptly pulled away, as though he was done humoring this stupid girl with her stupid crush. Every single time I think about how annoyed he was, how embarrassed for me, I get all hot and prickly, and I wish I could take it back.
I shouldn’t have gone to his office. I should just leave him alone and stop making a complete idiot of myself.
When I get to the office, it’s already bustling. Phones ring, printers whir, fingers clack on keyboards. I drop my things on my little desk outside Shane’s office and then carefully peek through the open crack of his door. My stomach does a flip when I see him sitting at his desk, peering at his computer screen. He’s casual today in a soft gray sweater and dark jeans. I swallow and smooth my hands over my long-sleeved black sheath dress that hits just above the knee. My palms are sweaty, my scalp prickling.
Coffee. I need coffee. Something to distract me so that I stop drooling over this man who doesn’t see me as anything more than his daughter’s friend.
“Sadie?” calls Shane before I make it even three steps away. My heart launches into my throat, and I lick my lips, suck in a breath, and then turn back around, poking my head into his office.
“Yes?” I ask, desperately aiming for professional and neutral. I’m not quite sure I get there.
He drums his fingers against the desk, those gorgeous brown eyes roving over me, making heat flush through me. Then he rubs his hand over his mouth, stands and moves to lean against the front of his desk.
“Come in and close the door behind you,” he says. It’s an order, but his voice is soft. Different.
My heart plummets into my stomach as I nod jerkily. “Yes. Sure.” I do as I’m told and then return, standing several feet in front of him, fingers twisted together in front of me.
Long seconds stretch between us, and the room is so quiet that he can probably hear my jagged breathing.
“Um, did you need me?” I ask, fighting to keep my voice steady. I smooth my hands over my dress, pick at a piece of imaginary lint. I feel like I’m coming undone, standing here with Shane’s dark gaze pinning me in place.
Several more seconds go by, and Shane doesn’t say anything. Just looks at me, his gaze roving over my face, my body. His eyes are dark and glittering, and it’s as though he can see right into the center of everything I am.
He exhales sharply, then reaches behind him and holds something up. A book.
No, not a book.
It’s a very familiar dark purple notebook.
My eyes go wide and my mouth falls open as I struggle to breathe, panic soaring through me. There’s no air in here. The walls are moving towards me. No. No no no no. This can’t be happening.
Shane knows. He knows all of the horrible, filthy, depraved things I wrote about him.
My face is hot, my eyes burning, and I can’t look at him.
“I think you left this here last night,” he says, his voice low and rough around the edges. He sounds mad. He probably is. He’s probably disgusted and horrified at the things I…
I have never in my life wanted the ground to swallow me up so badly.
“Did you read it?” I whisper. I need to know. I assume he did, which is why he called me in here and told me to close the door so he can fire me and tell me to stay the hell away from him in private. But still, I need to know for sure.
Shane nods slowly. “I did.” He exhales again. “Every single word.”
I’m going to throw up. Or pass out. Or start sobbing.
Probably all three.
I try to swallow, but my mouth is dry. He read it. He knows how pathetic I am, how perverted and obsessed. He knows that I’m desperately, hopelessly in love with him.
I’m going to die of pure, absolute mortification.
I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to fight back the tears threatening to fall.
“Sadie.”
“I’m so sorry,” I blurt, the words tumbling out of my mouth. A tear slips down my cheek. My throat burns. “I never meant…for you to see that. Any of that. I know it’s beyond inappropriate. I know you don’t…that it’s not like…” A sob hitches in my chest and more tears streak down my hot face. “You have to fire me, and I understand. Completely. I’m so sorry.”
He pushes off the desk, leaving the journal behind, and takes a few steps towards me. “It’s not like what, Sadie?”
I suck in a shaky breath, fighting to speak through my tears. “It’s not like any of that is based in reality. I need to make it clear that I know that. I know I’m just Lilah’s friend and just…”
“Just what?” he asks, and then he’s right there in front of me, so close I can feel the heat of his body through my thin dress. After a second of me staring at the floor, wishing I could just die, he slips his fingers under my chin and tilts my face up, forcing me to meet his gaze. “Just the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life? Just the girl who I’ve been obsessed with since last summer? Just the girl I fantasize about every fucking day?”
Shane’s words hang in the air between us, and I blink slowly. I’ve officially lost my mind. There’s no way I heard him right.
“What?” I whisper on a shaky exhale, searching his face.
He slides his big hand along my jaw, cupping my cheek. His touch is like pure, unfiltered electricity on my skin, making me shiver and ache. My pulse is fluttering frantically in my throat, my stomach twisting and turning.
“Sadie,” he rumbles, his voice pulsing through me. “I feel the same way about you. I have for months now. Ever since I laid eyes on you in my kitchen, I’ve wanted you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my goddamn life.”
My heart stops and then restarts at double time. This can’t be real. I’m going to wake up from yet another dream, twisted in my sweat-soaked sheets. I blink. I take a deep breath. I’ve forgotten how to talk.
“I’m so fucking crazy about you, Sadie girl. I want you so badly that it’s been driving me out of my mind.” His thumb strokes over my cheekbone and I lean into his touch. I still can’t believe this is real. I feel dizzy from swinging from humiliation to hope so quickly. “You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about what it would be like to put my hands on you. To kiss you. To..” He clears his throat, but it does nothing to dispel the gravel now coating his voice. “To make you come. To make you mine.”
“Shane,” I breathe. I know I should say more than that, but I can’t. My brain is short circuiting, and my heart is lodged in my throat. I reach up and curl my fingers around his thick wrist. His skin is warm. Alive. “I thought you didn’t…”
“I know. I read what you thought, but you’re wrong, sunshine. Because I do see you. I do want you. So fucking much it eats me up inside.” His other hand slides around my waist and suddenly I’m flush against his hard, wide chest, and it’s like every nerve ending in my body is singing the most beautiful song. Like I’m burning up from the inside out. “Tell me you want this, Sadie. Tell me what you wrote in your journal is real.”
“It’s real,” I whisper. “All of it.” My heart is racing, my blood molten lava in my veins.
He nods slowly, thumb still feathering over my heated skin. “Good. Because I’m so fucking in love with you that I don’t know what to do with myself.”
My heart explodes into a pile of shimmering dust.
“You are?”
He nods, his breathing coming a bit faster. “I am. And I’m done giving a fuck that I’m too old for you. Done worrying what other people might think. Done staying away from you.”
And then he’s kissing me and I’m lost. Completely gone. Drowning in the feel and taste of him. I sigh against his mouth and he groans, sliding his tongue against mine. The kiss turns hot and deep, the pent up need between us spreading like wildfire.
He holds me tighter as he tastes me like a starving man, his tongue sparking magic in my mouth. I grab fistfuls of his sweater just to anchor myself because I’m spinning, floating, falling. Shane’s kiss is deep and intense, like he’s been waiting his whole life to devour me.
I’ve imagined kissing Shane at least a million times. I’ve written out fantasies about his mouth in my journal. But this…this is so much better than anything I’ve ever imagined. The way his scruff rasps against my sensitive skin, the way his tongue slides against mine, the way his big body presses against me…this is heaven. There’s no other word for it.
And I want more. More of his taste, more of his scent, more of his body. I want everything.
I gasp against his mouth when he shifts, pressing the unmistakable hard length of his cock against my stomach, and Shane takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, fucking his tongue into my mouth. Claiming it. Owning it. My clit is throbbing and I know I’m making an absolute mess of my panties, and I love it.
We’re both breathless and panting when Shane pulls away, leaving my lips swollen and tingling. I’m aching and empty and so turned on I can barely think straight.
Shane presses his forehead against mine, his breath coming hard and fast. “Jesus fucking Christ, Sadie.”
“That was my first kiss,” I whisper. I don’t know why I tell him. I’m still reeling from the reality of Shane’s mouth on mine. My brain is fuzzy. Synapses are not firing properly.
His hands tighten on me, and he pulls back to look at me, surprise etched across his gorgeous face. “Your first kiss? Ever?”
I nod, blushing furiously. “I’ve never…I mean, I just…I know it’s weird to be twenty-one and have never kissed anyone. I was just never that interested in boys my age. They never did it for me.”
Shane stares down at me, his eyes impossibly dark and warm. “So, I’m the first man you’ve ever kissed?” he says, his voice low and gravelly. The timbre of it makes me arch into him.
I nod. “Only you.”
“Good,” he rumbles out, running his thumb over my still-tingling lower lip. “I’m the first, and I’m gonna be the last. The only. I want all your firsts, Sadie girl. Every single one.” I moan softly and his hand weaves into my hair, his other caressing my hip. “I’m going to be the first and only man to touch your sweet little virgin pussy.” His fingers knead into the flesh at my hip, dipping lower to graze my ass. “The first and only man to kiss your perfect cunt.” He dips his head, his lips brushing against my neck, his breath feathering over my skin. “The first and only man lucky enough to fill your untouched pussy with my cock,” he whispers, his voice dark and full of promise.
I might come, right here, right now.
“I’m going to make every single word you wrote in that journal come true,” he says, his teeth grazing the shell of my ear. “All of your firsts are mine. I’m gonna teach you how to be my sweet good girl, Sadie. I’ll teach you everything you need to know. Anything you want.”
“Yes, please,” I moan, my voice high and breathy. “That’s what I want. That’s exactly what I want.”
Shane groans, a rough, deep sound that vibrates through me. “You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that, sunshine? You’re gonna kill me with all your sweet innocence that makes me want to fucking ruin you.”
My heart pounds wildly in my chest as I stare up at him, my body vibrating, pulsing with need. My panties are soaked. My clit is swollen. My nipples are hard little peaks. “Then ruin me, Shane. I’m yours.”
“Fuck,” he groans, and then he’s kissing me again. I moan into his mouth and tangle my fingers in his thick, soft hair. A part of me still can’t believe that this is real.
He walks us toward the couch without breaking the kiss, sitting down and pulling me onto his lap. He’s so wide that straddling him makes my dress ride up high on my thighs, leaving me exposed. The feeling of being in Shane’s lap is the best thing I’ve ever felt in my life. This is my new favorite place on the planet. I sink my fingers into his hair and nuzzle my face into his neck, trailing my lips over his skin and breathing him in.
“Tell me I’m not dreaming,” I say, and he sighs.
“I was going to say the same thing to you,” he murmurs, turning his head and kissing my temple. Now that we’ve started touching, we can’t seem to stop. His hands rove up and down my back, then drop to squeeze my ass in a way that makes heat pound through me.
I lift my head and meet his eyes. “I meant it, you know,” I say softly. “Everything I wrote in my journal. I meant it all.”
Shane’s eyes are dark and intense as he drinks me in. “I know you did, sunshine,” he says, making me melt. “And I want it all, too. I want to fuck you and take care of you and love you.”
I feel dizzy right now. I didn’t know it was possible to be this happy.
Or this turned on.
“You’re sure?” I can’t stop myself from asking. “Even the stuff about…” I blush furiously, and Shane lets out a low, rumbling chuckle.
“Marriage?” he asks. “Babies?”
I nod, chewing on my bottom lip. I feel like my entire future is hanging in the balance.
“Especially that stuff, Sadie. I thought that part of my life was over, but knowing you want that with me…fuck.” His hand slides up my spine to cup the nape of my neck. “I’m fucking crazy about you. Have been for months now. And I’m not a man who says things he doesn’t mean.” He pulls me tight against him, pressing the ridge of his cock against my pussy. “My sweet, beautiful girl,” he whispers, and then we’re kissing again, hot and deep and desperate. His tongue slides against mine as he works my pussy over that fabric covered ridge that’s driving me insane. I moan like a woman possessed, rocking my hips, chasing the feeling he’s kindled inside me.
His hands slide under the hem of my dress, fingers stroking the bare skin of my thighs, teasing at the edges of my plain blue panties. I whimper and shudder in his arms when his fingers ghost over my pussy, and he groans against my mouth.
“Fuck, you’re so wet, aren’t you, baby girl?” he rasps, his voice low and deliciously rough. “I can feel how fucking soaked you are. You’re creaming all over your cute little panties.”
“I’m so turned on it hurts,” I whisper, my hips writhing in his lap.
He rumbles out a sympathetic groan, his fingers teasing over my panties again. “You want Daddy to take care of you? Make you feel good and take away that ache?”
My moan comes out like a choked sob as I nod my head frantically. Daddy. The word is like a brand on my brain, forever marking me and changing me. “Please. Yes. That’s all I want.”
Shane pushes my panties to the side and slowly slides one finger through my slit. His touch is like fire, and my hips jerk as I suck in a surprised breath. All of this is so much more intense than anything I imagined. So much better, and hotter.
“So wet and hot and soft,” he says in a low voice, teasing that finger up and down my slit in slow strokes. “And all mine.”
He kisses me, deep and slow, and I feel like I’m melting with his fingers gently teasing me, his lips and tongue winding me up even more. His thumb traces over my clit, and I gasp and moan against his mouth.
“If you want me to touch you, you have to be quiet for me,” he says, his voice low and rough. “Can you do that? Can you be quiet while I play with your pretty little pussy?”
I whimper as he traces a circle around my clit, biting my lip and nodding. “Yes. I can. Don’t stop. Please.”
“Good girl,” he groans, and I think I might die of pure happiness right here. “Pull your dress up, Sadie.”
I do as I’m told, and his other hand moves up the outside of my thigh. He sighs, squeezing my hip.
“Your skin is so soft. So warm and perfect. God, Sadie. You’re so fucking beautiful it hurts to look at you sometimes.”
And then we’re kissing again. We can’t seem to stop kissing.
Not that I’m complaining.
He starts rubbing my clit in a slow circle, and it takes every ounce of willpower I have not to moan.
“Fuck, Sadie,” he groans, his fingers sparking pure magic between my legs. “You feel so good. I don’t think I’ve ever been this hard in my life. Fuck, the things I would do to you if we were alone.”
I bite my lip so hard it hurts, desperate to show Shane how good I can be for him.
He dips his finger into my entrance, gathering up my wetness and then rubbing it into my swollen clit. He does it again, and again, and not making any noise is almost impossible. My breathing is ragged, my face is hot, and my thighs are shaking.
He pushes the hood of my clit back and rubs a slow circle over my exposed bud, and I can’t stop the gasping moan that comes out of me.
He chuckles darkly, still circling. “You’re going to have to be quieter than that, sunshine. Just breathe. Breathe, Sadie.”
I do, and a bolt of satisfaction crashes through me when I notice that Shane’s breathing is just as ragged as mine.
He presses his fingers against my clit, moving them slowly back and forth, back and forth.
“Fuck,” he breathes, working my clit with his thick fingers. It feels so different from when I touch myself. So much better. So much more intense. Shane’s fingers moving between my thighs is perfection. Absolute perfection. “You’re shaking, Sadie girl. Is it too much?”
I shake my head frantically. “Please don’t stop,” I whisper. “I’ll die if you stop.”
“Kiss me,” he orders gruffly, and the way he tells me what to do makes heat flicker through my belly. “Moan into my mouth if you need to.”
So I do. I kiss him, and even though I’m the one who initiated the kiss, he takes over immediately, controlling the kiss with dominating swipes of his tongue as he rubs back and forth across my clit.
“You’re dripping,” he murmurs, and this time I don’t try to stifle my moan. I can’t. I’m completely powerless right now. “Can you take more?”
I nod and try to spread my legs even wider for him. I’m completely shameless and I don’t care.
“Good girl,” he says, stretching out the two syllables. “Daddy’s going to take such good care of your pretty little virgin cunt, Sadie girl. Going to make it feel so, so good.”
He leaves his thumb on my clit, rubbing in slow circles, and then slowly slides one finger inside me. It’s tight and intense and feels incredible. His fingers are so thick that even one is a stretch, but it’s delicious.
“Fuck,” he grits out. “You’re so goddamn tight. Such a sweet little virgin pussy.” He moves his finger around inside me, pressing against my inner walls. “You feel me inside you? I’m touching everything that’s mine right now.” He swirls his finger around again and I inhale sharply to avoid moaning his name.
I nod jerkily. “Yours,” I breathe. My body is on fire.
“I’m going to die when I get inside you, sunshine. You’re going to kill me with this sweet, perfect pussy.”
“Now?” I ask through the fog of lust clouding my senses, and he laughs softly.
“No. I’m not popping your cherry on the couch in my office. You’re going to come over tonight. We’re going to eat dinner and drink wine, and then I’m going to spend the night fucking you in my bed, where you belong.”
I nod. “Yes. Yes, Shane. I want your cock so bad.”
“You’ll get it, baby girl. But not here. Not like this.”
He slides his finger in and out of me a few times, going slow, working me open for him. He changes the angle of his hand and pushes in deeper, making my entire body shake.
He starts to move a bit faster, still working my clit in those perfect circles. “Squeeze me with your pussy. That’s it, fuck. Tell me how it feels, Sadie.”
“Amazing,” I whisper. “Hot and intense and like there’s fire inside me. Wet and slippery and swollen.”
“I can feel your pulse right here,” he says, sliding his finger deep and pressing against a delicious spot inside me. With his other hand, he plays in the trimmed curls on top of my mound. “You want these gone? You want me to shave you?”
I moan and blush and grind against his hand all at once. “Yes. Make my pussy all bare and pretty, Daddy. And then…”
When I don’t finish, he tugs a little harder on the curls, making me gasp. “And then?”
“And then kiss it all over and tell me what a pretty good girl I am.”
His groan is loud and deep, and he starts moving his hand faster.
“You’re perfect, you know that? So fucking perfect, Sadie.” His finger slides even deeper inside me as his thumb works my clit in tight circles and I start to come. My mouth falls open on a silent scream as my entire body shakes and my pussy clamps down on Shane’s finger. My clit throbs almost painfully as the orgasm steals my breath, steals my thoughts, steals everything, leaving only burning hot pleasure in its wake.
Slowly, Shane removes his finger from my throbbing pussy and lifts it to his face. He inhales deeply before sucking it clean and moaning appreciatively. My entire body is still shaking and twitching, and he wraps his arms around me and pulls me tight against his chest. He presses a soft kiss to my temple as his hand rubs up and down my back. I feel so tiny in his arms, surrounded by him. So tiny and cherished and safe.
“That’s my good girl,” he murmurs, his voice low and soothing. “You did so good, Sadie. So sweet and perfect for me.”
I melt against him, burying my face in his neck and breathing him in. And I know, without a single scrap of doubt, that this is where I belong. Now, and forever.
“Does that feel better now, sunshine?” he asks, smoothing his big hand up and down my back.
I nod against him. “So much better. Thank you. That was…the best thing I’ve ever felt in my life.”
He lets out a deep chuckle. “And that was just a finger.” He kisses my temple. “Just imagine what my cock will feel like buried deep inside this gorgeous little cunt.” His hand slides between us and he cups my pussy. I gasp and wriggle against him.
“I can’t wait,” I moan softly, and oh my god, I’m already grinding against his hand. “I want you so bad, Shane.”
He makes a low humming sound, leaving his hand where it is, letting me grind. “Tonight, baby girl. Gonna spend all night worshipping your sweet virgin cunt. Gonna make you come on my fingers, my tongue, my cock. Again and again. Gonna fill you up until you’re dripping with me. With us. Gonna fucking ruin you. Claim you.”
A needy whimper escapes me, and I’m about to beg him for all of that right now because I don’t think I can wait ten hours. I don’t think I can wait one.
But then there’s a knock at his door, bringing us crashing back down to earth.
“Coach?” calls a voice through the door. “Practice starts in ten. You want me to start the warm up without you?”
“Fuck,” Shane sighs quietly. He presses a kiss to my forehead and then helps me off his lap. “I’ll be right there,” he calls back, his voice impressively steady for a man with a massive erection tenting his pants. As he adjusts himself, I push my panties back into place and tug my dress down, then run my hands through my messy curls, trying not to look as though I just had the best orgasm of my life. I feel dazed and thoroughly well-fucked even though he hasn’t actually been inside me yet.
“Tonight?” I confirm, and Shane grins at me, tucking a stray curl behind my ear.
“Seven. Need me to pick you up?”
I shake my head. “Seven is perfect.”
He pulls me into his arms and kisses me again. I think it’s meant to be a quick kiss, but apparently we don’t know how to do that because soon his hands are in my hair and I’m moaning against his mouth as he devours me.
There’s another knock, and we break apart. He lets out an adorably pained little growl as he pulls away, kissing my forehead and then leaving his office.
I’m already counting down the seconds until I’m back in Shane’s arms again.