7. Annalise
7
ANNALISE
I was buried in all of those pages of the enormous books I had to learn for the admission exam. I didn’t initially think it would be that hard to understand and memorize all of the information, but God I was wrong.
I sighed and scratched my forehead as I took the pink neon marker to underline what I thought was important. But to my surprise, everything was.
I threw the marker back on the desk and brought the book closer to my face. It has been five hours since I was hiding in the library, studying and trying to motivate myself that everything I did was for my dream to come true.
When I felt like I’d lost the motivation, I thought about Maksen and how much he believed in me. He knew I wanted to attend a normal university some day, but he also knew that my father wouldn’t ever let me do it. I didn’t even know why I continued to study because I wasn’t going to be a student. I guessed I just liked to know things.
But then, I thought that one of the reasons why I kept studying was that Maksen put his trust in me. He always looked at me admiringly whenever I told him what new things I had learned and I wanted to make him proud because he did so many beautiful things for me.
He always listened and always heard exactly what I wanted to say. He always took good care of me and oh, how much I loved every time he smiled at me. It felt like he was offering me a gift every time.
The wooden door of the library opened and pulled me out of my mind immediately. I raised my glance up and I almost rolled my eyes at the sight of Katya. She moved closer to the desk, and the smirk she had on her face made me want to go to the bathroom and throw up everything I had eaten that day.
“You’re studying. I don’t know why you’re wasting your time, dear,” she hissed and put her fingers on the desk surface.
She took a book in her hands and I saw how her brows got closer into a confused furrow. I knew she didn’t understand a word of it.
Hadn’t she already gotten tired of telling me that I’m wasting my time? Because I had enough of her remarks. She always kept saying the same things and I knew she wanted to mess with me, but at least she could’ve tried to find new ways to do it.
“Learning new things about what you’re passionate about isn’t a waste of time. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I really have to study here,” I replied and pinned her with my gaze.
Her long red hair was perfectly put into a high ponytail, and even though she was wearing liner, a bright lipstick on her lips that matched her hair and mascara, she managed to make it look like a second skin. Flawless from head to toe. I wished I had her beauty, but I had to admire mine as it was too.
“You know I’m right because dad wouldn’t ever let you apply to a university. I don’t know why you’re still trying.”
“I don’t need your opinion, Katya. You can leave now. Thank you.”
She smirked again and glanced at me. Katya was my sister, but she was being an ass all the time with me. Yet I still loved her in a way because she was a part of my family.
You don’t choose your family, you just accept it and live with it.
“I just came to announce to you that I’ll be gone with my friends tonight. Also, auntie Lydia is coming to our house, so you might consider taking your head out of those boring books and come upstairs,” she explained and turned on her feet without giving me the chance to give her an answer.
I wasn’t happy that she came here, but as soon as she told me that Lydia was coming, I felt happier. She was the woman I’ve always thought of as being my second mother — her and Olivia. I didn’t know what I would’ve done without them.
I chose to close the book and stand up. My lower back was hurting after all the hours I’d spent on the wooden seat, so I stretched my body with a slow movement. My spine cracked and it felt so good that I let a few subtle sounds come out of my mouth.
I grabbed my phone and put it in my pocket, then I organized everything on the desk and made my way to the living room.
When I got to the hallway, I heard Katya laughing at her phone and saw her walking out of the house, accompanied by two of our bodyguards. At least that was a good choice for her. Not walking alone in the city. I guessed she wasn’t as dumb as she liked to seem.
Some sounds of plates hitting each other broke the silence in the house, and I turned around to go to the kitchen where I knew I’d find Olivia cooking.
“Good afternoon, Miss Annalise!” she said as I entered the kitchen.
“Good afternoon,” I replied and walked closer to her. “It’s finally a good day now that we’re alone in the entire house. No one screws up the atmosphere,” I added and she giggled.
Her round cheekbones raised up when she laughed. She took some cinnamon from a jar and as soon as I smelled the magical scent, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in.
“So, you’re making a dessert I suppose?”
“You’re right. It’s the first of September, so we have to celebrate the start of the fall season. I know how much you love it,” she explained and took the oven tray from the island.
I let my gaze fall on it and my heart filled with joy as I saw the perfectly put cinnamon rolls in it.
I wasn’t a big fan of eating pastries and things that would make me bloated, but we had this tradition every year. Eating pumpkin pie and cinnamon rolls on the first day of the fall months.
“I totally forgot what day it is,” I replied quickly and I felt a hint of shame sneaking into my mind as I allowed myself to forget this.
Olivia gave me a comforting smile and took my hand in hers. I noticed how callused and harsh her fingers were, and I knew it was because of all the hard work she had to put in.
She was always taking care of our entire home, while also providing us the best food. I didn’t know how she could get it all done.
“That’s why you have me. I’m here to remind you of everything that brings you joy.”
I loved Olivia, and I would be so destroyed if anything happened to her. But it wasn’t the right moment to think about such things. It was the start of September after all, and Lydia was going to arrive here soon.
“Aunt Lydia is visiting us today,” I announced to her and I took a chair to sit on.
I put my elbows on the island’s edge as I watched Olivia doing her magic in the kitchen.
“I know. Katya told me before she left in a hurry.”
“I wonder how she’d thought of visiting us.”
She shrugged and continued to prepare the food. I sat there without saying anything and I let myself fall into my thoughts.
Again.
My mind flew to Maksen and our little meeting from yesterday. I felt so good seeing him and convincing myself that he was okay after what happened that day. I felt more at peace than ever.
I didn’t know if it was because I’d found a bit of courage to tell him about my nightmares. It was something I had never talked about with anyone, and it felt good to get it out.
The sharp sound of the front door opening filled the house and I knew it was Lydia. The sound of her steps got even louder, and as soon as I turned around to glance at the hallway, her tiny figure made me smile.
I jumped off the chair and ran to her, taking her into my arms and inhaling the familiar scent I was used to ever since I was a little girl.
“Auntie!” I yelled and she giggled at my reaction.
She put her hands around me and hugged me tightly.
“I haven’t seen you in a while, Anna! You’re turning into a woman with each year that passes by,” she whispered close to my ear and pulled away from the hug.
“Thank you,” I replied with a wide smile showing on my face.
She gave me a broad smile and I couldn’t help myself but gaze at her beautiful face. Even though she was a little past forty years old, she was an alluring woman who could turn heads everywhere she went. Her long black hair was always resting on her back, while her lips were covered in a blood-like shade of lipstick.
However, behind the beauty she was always showing on the outside, her life wasn’t so beautiful at all.
My uncle left her when I was little and I didn’t remember him. I’ve actually never seen a picture of him because my father told me that he hated his brother so he wouldn’t like to see his face anywhere in our house. Yet, he didn’t stop Lydia from visiting us which made me think that he had empathy — even though he proved me wrong when he shot Maksen.
I didn’t even know what to think about my father anymore.
I still remembered how devastated Lydia was when he left, but she healed with time and became the woman she was today. The strongest woman I knew.
“The smell of pumpkin pie makes my taste buds go crazy,” Lydia said as she got closer to Olivia.
I watched her walking to the kitchen island and my lips raised up in a corner as I saw the classy dress she chose to wear today.
I’ve learned from her that dressing according to how you want to be perceived by others is the most important thing. So I’ve always chosen clothes that imposed respect before I even spoke for myself.
“You know how much I love cooking it.” She winked and her lips stretched into the wide smile that was so characteristic of her.
“And you know how much I love eating it.”
We laughed together and Lydia turned around, glancing at me. She came closer and grabbed me by my hand, taking me to the hallway. I looked attentively at her and wondered where we were going.
“Where are you taking me?”
“More likely, where are you taking me?”
I was so confused that I let my eyebrows get closer into a serious furrow. “What do you mean?”
She smiled and as soon as we got out of the house through the door that was leading us to the forest, I understood exactly what she wanted. A walk between the tall trees with her dearest niece.
“Walk and talk?”
“Exactly,” she quickly replied and a comforting smile crept on her face.
We were walking slowly, sinking into the forest and breathing in the clean air of nature. We both loved this forest, and as she’d always told me, my mother did too. I guess I was the perfect copy of my mother because everything I was told about her matched my own description. But I didn’t want to fall into those deep painful thoughts again, so I tilted my head to come back to reality.
Lydia was glancing at the surroundings as she was lost in her own thoughts too. That was the forest’s power.
It could bring you to such a state of mind that you were able to put into question every little detail of your life. And that’s why father hated that my mother was spending her time here – just as he hated that I was spending my time here too.
We were dreamers, and nature was what kept us sane.
“I used to come here pretty often back then when your uncle was still around,” she murmured as she continued to walk beside me. “It made me come to peace with myself no matter what I was going through.”
“You know you could come here whenever you want. You are more than welcomed,” I replied and put my hand around her shoulders.
She sighed and a tiny smile came on her face. “I know, but I don’t want to bother any of you. We are all having our issues and I can’t bring mine here too.”
“We are a family, auntie.”
“I was in your family for as long as I had Sylvian with me. Now, I’m just his ex-wife.” Her tone of voice broke down into tiny millions of pieces, and I tucked her in my arms.
She seemed totally destroyed with every word she let out of her mouth.
“You are still my favorite aunt and my second mother. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you and Olivia, so please, don’t you ever think that you’d be a burden to us.”
She took in a deep breath and gazed at me, rubbing her temples. “To you, I’m not.”
So he forbade her from coming here? It looks like everything I thought about my father is just like a house made of bricks that are falling one by one.
“You mean my father told you not to come here? Because if he did such a thing, he’s a total ass. He proved to me what kind of person he is and –”
“Annalise!” she exclaimed and grabbed me by my hands as a smile curved her lips up. “Don’t talk like that! He’s your father.”
Oh, I swore , and I promised myself that I wouldn’t do it again because that was something my father used to tell me too.
A woman shouldn’t use bad words, Annalise.
Yet here I was, calling him a total ass. I almost laughed at myself, but I managed to refrain.
“I know that he’s my father, but he made me think it would’ve been better if he wasn’t,” I whispered without making eye contact with her.
I knew she heard what I said, because the moment she looked at me I saw something changing in her round eyes. Something that made me think she wanted to say something, but she couldn’t. She was just surprised that she heard me talking like that and I bet she wouldn’t have thought that her favorite niece could ever use such words.
I sat on the bed’s surface, reading a few more pages from my Astronomy book.
After the walk and talk with Lydia, I chose to study a little more until the food was ready, and as soon as the smell of pie hugged my senses, I instantly stood up from the bed and moved my feet to the kitchen.
I hopped on every stair and as I got closer to the kitchen, Olivia and Lydia’s whispers became louder.
“Tell me the pie is ready!” I yell as I enter the kitchen and they both jump on their seats as they see me.
“Of course it’s ready!” Olivia mumbled and took the tray from the kitchen’s island, giving a long-side eye to Lydia.
I took a plate and put it beside the tray, while Olivia cut a piece of it for me.
“Hope you like it!” she said and looked me directly in the eyes.
“Of course I will!”
I took a bite from the slice of pie and I raised my glance to both of the women.
What could they be whispering about, so scared that anyone could hear?